Cheer up thread

[DoctorHouse]

No doubts.

I rather be a bald good looking guy than a NW1 bad looking guy.

Well, then which one are you? Because you certainly are not bald. And you are certainly not bad looking. No doubts. To be honest I have seen countless people posting photos of their hair and their face and I have yet to see someone who most women would consider ugly or below average looking. Without sounding like starting a "beauty contest " :whistle: I am sure dudemon, cuebald, and Boondock are not as "ugly" as they say they are. I remember all those times Taug posted threads of how ugly he was and then he finally posted a photo and he was well above average looking. The problem is I am sure most of you guys are comparing yourself to people who are models like Kyle. Same thing goes for uncomfortable man. We had read countless post of how people treated you unfairly because of your bald "ugly" head. Then you showed your photos and you got honest feedback. You are above average looking with or without hair. I think the problem is that when you get rejection, you think you have to be ugly or it must based on how much hair you have left. I went out on this date with this girl and she rejected me. I figured I must be losing my looks and now I am going to have a hard time attracting women. Yet a few years later, this girl who was about the same age and better looking than the other girl reassured me once I again I was wrong. She told me I look like a GQ model. Sorry but I feel I am far from looking that good but then again we tend to be the worst critic when it comes to how we think we look.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I would not be surprised if those people don't post on here complaining about the same thing.

 

[Boondock]

If I was goodlooking and bald, I wouldn't really complain. Guy who gets the most *** in my work is NW6, but he has the face for it, is tall, etc. I could roll with that fine.

I am short and don't have a handsome face. This didn't matter so much when I had thick dark wavy hair. The only real compliments would be "I love his hair". With that gone, I've nothing.
Being bald and ugly is a deathblow in your twenties.

Baldness in and of itself isn't the big problem - it's what it can do to certain people. It's a pain for goodlooking people but they can still do fine with the ladies - no problem after they get used to it.
But for a man who was mediocre with hair, losing it puts you firmly in that "creep" category. You know, the ugly weird looking, bald dude who everyone stereotypes as a rapist in waiting.

Exactly. It's completely different for different people. If I looked like Patrick Stewart I wouldn't be happy losing my hair, but I'd be a lot less pissed about it than I am.

I'm sad to se you losing your enthusiasm

I'm a lot more optimistic than my posts here probably give off, but my optimism is now going in another direction. I realized after a while that, when all is said and done, I do care quite a lot about going bald in my early 20s. I tried not to, but I do. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.

I'm a lot more proactive now when it comes to doing things about it. I am going to give the sly look a proper try for a month this summer (I'll be abroad so I can 'road-test' it without work issues etc), and I've also got a few new topicals lined up. Failing that, I will probably go down the hair system route.

I say I'm 'optimistic' because my goal now is not really to gain my hair back as such, but just to find something that works so I can get on with my life. I don't want to be posting here every day in a year's time.

 

[Mens Rea]

I guess I shouldn't generalize so much. But if you were just an average looking guy swith hair, and then your hair progressed to a NW5, you are not going to have nearly the same quality of social life, nor dating life that you previously had. No way, no how. I'm sure there are planty of "head shaver" muscular guys that defy the odds, and like anything else, there are always plenty of exceptions.

But when it comes to being bald, I know for certain that bald guys, handsome or not, shaved and muscular or not are going to have trouble with the ladies. Not all guys like this will, but IMO, most will to varying degrees.

And I really do think the whole "it's all about confidence" thing is a big load of crap. If you protrude confidence, BUT you don't look good bald (even if you shave and are muscular) girls are going to call you an "arrogant cocky prick" and you are definately NOT what they would consider "hot."

If you do look good, then they will say you are hot (if they are into "head shaver" guys).

That is why the "it's all about confidence" is a big load of crap, IMO, in most cases. I have muscles, and I work out, and I used to "protrude confidence" around women. What did that get me (an ugly looking guy with "muscles" and confidence) personally?

Nowhere. Like I said, It's not just about confidence, it's about looking good as well. And like a previous poster has already mentioned, in today's fast paced world, most women are not going to take the time to learn all about a guy's "confidence" and charisma, etc...

What really happens most of the time (IMO), is that a chick takes one look at a guy, and if she likes the way he looks first, then she will possibly be interested in finding out what he has to say. If he doesn't look good to her in a physical sense, he will have already been rejected by her without even saying one word to her.

If he does still try to talk to her, she will ignore him completely 99% of the time, and eventually she will leave, or tell him to just f*ck off. (Unless of course he is willing to play the "let's be friends game") But guys who are "just friends" with women, will remain just friends for eternity. Hardly ever do women who have let guys into their lives as "just friends" ever get romantically involved with them. That happens only in a small minority of cases. Usually, she will tell him she never wants to see him again - if a guy deemed as "just friends" tries to get too frisky with her.

Social life? Why?

Also, you misunderstand the confidence thing. Yes it wont automatically it you "hot" and i will admit every girl will have their limits, but your approach is everything. Hair aside, i see this all the time. I meet girls but might not even be trying to impress them. I find them quite cold or should i say not overly receptive. Note - im not hitting on them. When i get to learn who i am and see me a few times they become very receptive. They become comfortable around you. Often times these girls are trying it on with me. Thinking back to the first meeting it can be baffling.

You have to realise many girls are all about the comfort and being able to relate to you. They value rapport.

I would say though, girls in bigger cities tend to be more fucked up that this. You need to live somewhere where you will develop a nice rapport the crowd over many weeks of going to a certain club or bar.


I reckon alot of these guys that struggle really badly are guys who have no real social set-up to get them in the good positions. If you lead the men you can attract the women. You dont have to be good looking to be a leader of men. Hell, you dont have to be the coolest guy just have a good friend base. That isn't that difficult.

 

[KANGA]

I guess I shouldn't generalize so much. But if you were just an average looking guy swith hair, and then your hair progressed to a NW5, you are not going to have nearly the same quality of social life, nor dating life that you previously had. No way, no how. I'm sure there are planty of "head shaver" muscular guys that defy the odds, and like anything else, there are always plenty of exceptions.

But when it comes to being bald, I know for certain that bald guys, handsome or not, shaved and muscular or not are going to have trouble with the ladies. Not all guys like this will, but IMO, most will to varying degrees.

And I really do think the whole "it's all about confidence" thing is a big load of crap. If you protrude confidence, BUT you don't look good bald (even if you shave and are muscular) girls are going to call you an "arrogant cocky prick" and you are definately NOT what they would consider "hot."

If you do look good, then they will say you are hot (if they are into "head shaver" guys).

That is why the "it's all about confidence" is a big load of crap, IMO, in most cases. I have muscles, and I work out, and I used to "protrude confidence" around women. What did that get me (an ugly looking guy with "muscles" and confidence) personally?

Nowhere. Like I said, It's not just about confidence, it's about looking good as well. And like a previous poster has already mentioned, in today's fast paced world, most women are not going to take the time to learn all about a guy's "confidence" and charisma, etc...

What really happens most of the time (IMO), is that a chick takes one look at a guy, and if she likes the way he looks first, then she will possibly be interested in finding out what he has to say. If he doesn't look good to her in a physical sense, he will have already been rejected by her without even saying one word to her.

If he does still try to talk to her, she will ignore him completely 99% of the time, and eventually she will leave, or tell him to just f*ck off. (Unless of course he is willing to play the "let's be friends game") But guys who are "just friends" with women, will remain just friends for eternity. Hardly ever do women who have let guys into their lives as "just friends" ever get romantically involved with them. That happens only in a small minority of cases. Usually, she will tell him she never wants to see him again - if a guy deemed as "just friends" tries to get too frisky with her.

Social life? Why?

Also, you misunderstand the confidence thing. Yes it wont automatically it you "hot" and i will admit every girl will have their limits, but your approach is everything. Hair aside, i see this all the time. I meet girls but might not even be trying to impress them. I find them quite cold or should i say not overly receptive. Note - im not hitting on them. When i get to learn who i am and see me a few times they become very receptive. They become comfortable around you. Often times these girls are trying it on with me. Thinking back to the first meeting it can be baffling.

You have to realise many girls are all about the comfort and being able to relate to you. They value rapport.

I would say though, girls in bigger cities tend to be more f***ed up that this. You need to live somewhere where you will develop a nice rapport the crowd over many weeks of going to a certain club or bar.


I reckon alot of these guys that struggle really badly are guys who have no real social set-up to get them in the good positions. If you lead the men you can attract the women. You dont have to be good looking to be a leader of men. Hell, you dont have to be the coolest guy just have a good friend base. That isn't that difficult.

For sure man, I agree with almost everything here!

Also, first impressions are (almost) everything. As soon as I see a hot chick that I want to meet, my goal is to talk to her as soon as she notices me... or at least give her a good impression before approaching her.

Do you really think just sitting there staring at her from across the venue is going to give her (or ANYONE for that matter) a good first impression? F'NO! She's going to come up with conclusions about you before you get a chance to make your own impression.

And 99.999999% it's not going to be a good one. (Even the most super handsome dude is going to get a woman thinking "he's totally creeping me out")

Sorry, but regardless of what movies have taught us, guys that lean up against the bar and stare like James Bond in the club/bar/coffeeshop/bookstore don't pick up chicks LOL.

 

[GeminiX]

I've been reading this (and many similar posts) for years now, and as longer term readers will know I *absolutely* know it's all about confidence and personality; remember I was both fat *and* bald, yet I never had any trouble with dating.

That said, and I think this is important, dating for me was different to how the "hot" looking guys dated.

When I was much younger and doing the club/pup scene I would be out most Friday and Saturday nights and would generally frequent the same places; I would bump into the many of the same groups of people over weeks and months.

We would have a blast, a group of friends having good times.

Now then, the "hot" looking guys in the group would often end up with a different girl every night / week or two, meanwhile I tended to date people for a few weeks or months and so was not "on the market" in the same way. That said though, I would always find groups of girls would hang out with us as a group and vice-versa, confidence attracts confidence. As a result, we would get to know dozens of people and often end up paired off with someone I would have known for usually more than a few hours.

In my case at least, this would seem to indicate:

Hot and shallow guys/girls will often have *lots* of short relationships, usually meaningless but might be lots of sex (the guys at least would "claim" this).

Fat bald guys might not "get the girl" on the first night, but after a couple of weeks we become just as attractive because of personality and sense of humour etc.

Negative folk can claim bullshit all they like, but it's a proven fact that confidence and personality are at least as important as hot looks (at least in the longer term).

Also, you simply cannot go out one night and "be confident", it simply does not work that way. Constantly negative people *absolutely* repel people; in society they often come over as intense, weird and "freaky".

No-one wants to hang out with negative people, ever, period! A negative personality and bad attitude oozes from you in every gesture, phrase and action, you don't turn it off and on like a light switch.

 

[Gboy2k8]

Also, you simply cannot go out one night and "be confident", it simply does not work that way. Constantly negative people *absolutely* repel people; in society they often come over as intense, weird and "freaky".

yes you can.
it's called alcohol.

 

[GeminiX]

Also, you simply cannot go out one night and "be confident", it simply does not work that way. Constantly negative people *absolutely* repel people; in society they often come over as intense, weird and "freaky".

yes you can.
it's called alcohol.

But that's just false confidence and "courage" in your own head, the rest of the planet will think you're a jerk

Besides, negative people are even worse when they are drunk and usually end up sobbing in a corner about why their lives are so crap and no-one loves them; well, either that or they spend the evening trying to pick a fight with everyone...

This is not to be confused with confidence to get over something which scares you, in which case a little alcohol can help take the edge off a scary situation; two different things hehe

 

[Smooth]

Hot and shallow guys/girls will often have *lots* of short relationships, usually meaningless but might be lots of sex (the guys at least would "claim" this).

Fat bald guys might not "get the girl" on the first night, but after a couple of weeks we become just as attractive because of personality and sense of humour etc.

Negative folk can claim bullshit all they like, but it's a proven fact that confidence and personality are at least as important as hot looks (at least in the longer term).

:agree: this is very very very true! this is why i say away from the clubbing scene here, might go once every month or two just to catch up with some friends, but thats it!
no more onenighters for Smooth lwal

 

[Gboy2k8]

I don't see what's so wrong about being "shallow".
We all need sex , that's human nature.
So I have to get a "serious minded" gf for that ?
What if I don't want to and I want just a one night hookup ?

You all make it sound so false and wrong , like it's the worst thing to do.

 

[GeminiX]

I don't see what's so wrong about being "shallow".
We all need sex , that's human nature.
So I have to get a "serious minded" gf for that ?
What if I don't want to and I want just a one night hookup ?

You all make it sound so false and wrong , like it's the worst thing to do.

Personally, I don't have a problem with frequent sex with different partners, it's just sex after all... It was never something for me, but that's because I was never into sex at all.

Actually, it's possible that for me at least, some of my appeal was that I was not "after one thing", like so many guys were; it might have given me a unique selling point

Curiously, an old of friend of mine had insane success with women. He is most definitely not a "looker"; his pick up lines made most people cringe (they were truly dreadful) and even most girls thought he was a bit of a dick, and yet somehow he almost always ended up pulling a girl who we all thought was way out of his league.

It's funny thinking back, he was one of those guys that thought he was the Fonz, and had simply not realised he wasn't. Absolutely a case of confidence and charm far ahead of his looks

 

[s.a.f]

I've been reading this (and many similar posts) for years now, and as longer term readers will know I *absolutely* know it's all about confidence and personality.
Fat bald guys might not "get the girl" on the first night, but after a couple of weeks we become just as attractive because of personality and sense of humour etc.

Negative folk can claim bullshit all they like, but it's a proven fact that confidence and personality are at least as important as hot looks (at least in the longer term).

I dont even know where to start with this, no matter what you want to believe EVERYONE wants to have the most attractive partner they can, its human nature.
The theory that men go for looks whilst women go for personality ect is just a fallacy.
In the end we (humans) may be by far the most intelligent creatures on the planet but the truth is deep down we're still animals. And as far as women are concerned its actually built deep into their psyche to look for the best physical genetics in a partner, and the way nature has chosen to identify this throughout evolution is by looks and physical attractivness.

Sure any bald guy can get a girlfreind but the problem facing most of the guys on here is that as they lose their hair they are finding it harder to continue to attract the same level of partner and thats where the real issue lies.

 

[Nuli]

So much for a cheer up thread, thanks dudemon. I don't know why i come on these boards, sh*t is so depressing.