Dreamt that I had hair again, again.

[uncomfortable man]

I just woke up from a dream. Alot of things were going on in it, but torwards the end, I remember standing in front of the mirror. I guess I looked the way I do now only obscured. I picked up a comb and started combing my scalp and the weak pathetic hairs on top. The more I combed the more hair grew, until I wasn't bald anymore. I kept combing my hair longer and into different styles and felt an overwhelming sense of joy and security. When I came to a length and style that I liked I took a moment to look at myself, at how this hair had changed my appearance, my face. I thought to myself, now I can go outside without hiding, without being ashamed. I was on my way out the door when I woke up. The harsh weight of reality sunk in and my spirit withered. I hate waking up from those dreams, its like having to re-experience going bald all over again. I HATE MYSELF! I HATE THE WAY I LOOK! I HATE HAVING TO LIVE WITH LESS WHILE EVERYONE ELSE TAKES IT FOR GRANTED! I HATE HIDING! FUUUUUCK WHYYYYYYY! Why is there even balding in the first place- what purpose could it possibly serve. Are we really defective, diseased, inferior specimens of humanity? I can't pretend that it doesn't matter anymore. I can't rise above. I can't live with myself like this! :lost:

 

[PersonGuy]

Same thing for me two nights ago. Sometimes it sucks to wake up.

Best part of your whole post though was "Why is there even balding in the first place?" It's soooo true! WTF? There's no point. But one can ask that question about most things whether they be more or less serious and still get no answer.

 

[Norsk]

If it bothers you that much, maybe you should consider a wig (or a transplant if you have the money and donor hair for it).

 

[uncomfortable man]

When I was becoming a teenager, I was very skinny. People used to think I was anorexic. They used to stare at me like there was something horribly wrong with me, but that was just the way I was. I would look at myself in the mirror for hours, trying to see if I was getting better, but I just looked like a freakish monster. I became so obsessed and self-conscious about it that I began wearing layers of clothing to bulk up and create the illusion of having a normal physique. I was quite systematic about it, like cutting the collars and sleeves down so they wouldn't poke out under my top layer. It got to the point where I was wearing up to eight layers- summer was hell, not to mention changing for gym class. I was like that all through high school. I was constantly adjusting myself and people could tell, which went against my whole reason for doing it. I just wanted to appear normal, to not be noticed for how skinny I was. As my metabolism slowed down and I began working out, I eventually tapered off of this behavior to the point where I felt comfortable going out in a t-shirt. Now my BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) has transfered from my body to my head. I hate the way balding has changed my appearence- the composition of my head, my face. I look terrible and even worse, I know everyone else thinks I look terrible too. I guess getting a piece wouldn't be too different from how I dealt with feeling too skinny, by concealing it. It would have to be one hell of a piece though. Or if I go the way of transplantation, I would have to do my research to find the ablsolute best surgeon. Even then, It would take me forever to save up enough money to get it done.

 

[treeshrew]

There is no consensus regarding the details of the evolution of baldness. Most theories regard it as resulting from sexual selection. A number of other primate species also experience hair loss following puberty, and some primate species clearly use an enlarged forehead, created both anatomically and through strategies such as frontal balding, to convey increased status and maturity.

One theory, advanced by Muscarella and Cunningham, suggests baldness evolved in males through sexual selection as an enhanced signal of aging and social maturity, whereby aggression and risk-taking decrease and nurturing behaviours increase. This may have conveyed a male with enhanced social status but reduced physical threat, which could enhance ability to secure reproductive partners and raise offspring to adulthood.

In a study by Muscarella and Cunnhingham, males and females viewed 6 male models with different levels of facial hair (beard and moustache or clean) and cranial hair (full head of hair, receding and bald). Participants rated each combination on 32 adjectives related to social perceptions. Males with facial hair and those with bald or receding hair were rated as being older than those who were clean-shaven or had a full head of hair. Beards and a full head of hair were seen as being more aggressive and less socially mature, and baldness was associated with more social maturity.

 

[Ackers24]

the thing that annoys me about mbp is the fact that the sides and the back of your hair stay completely fine and you really only lose your hair on top..why the heck is that?? why cant the hair on top just be the same as the hair on the sides and back of your head...its stupid.....why isn't it all just the same, seems kinda weird to me really

 

[confusedafraid]

well im loosing it all ove my head, top back and sides the very same,,,, balding and so see my scalp i cant believe it, and its only taken four months??? why whwy hwy hwy why??? :shock:

 

[uncomfortable man]

Social maturity huh? Well maybe that would be fine if I were living in the 17th century or in some tribal community deep within the rainforest where people actually respect their elders, but everyone knows that we live in a youth-obsessed culture where the elderly are considered obsolete, if not a nuisance. The only thing male pattern baldness signals to anyone is someone who is a weird, weak, degenerative, unhealthy, unsightly sexual deviant. Even though in my heart I know that is not true, if enough people believe it, it doesn't matter what I think, it might as well be fact. When I go out without my hat on, the stares, snickers and sneers I get are a painful confirmation of how society regards me. I appreciate your input treeshrew, I really do, and there may be some validity to those theories, however irrelevant because I doubt any woman is going to see my "enlarged forehead" as a sign of nurturing and want to buckle down and start a family with me.

 

[uncomfortable man]

That is not male pattern baldness, confusedafraid, that is something else. I don't know what or why, but you should go see and doctor and find out for yourself. I'm sorry bro. :dunno:

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah who wants to be socially mature? It wouldnt even be so bad if we lost the horseshoe and kept what was ontop since most people shave the sides and back short anyway. Its only the top that you style is'nt it?

 

[ghg]

Judging from the post about your skinniness I'd say you really got some deeper issues than hairloss. I'm no Dr. Phil but that's the impression I got :smack: . And it's alright, I have issues too... but I don't dream of a full head of hair.

Yeah who wants to be socially mature? It wouldnt even be so bad if we lost the horseshoe and kept what was ontop since most people shave the sides and back short anyway. Its only the top that you style is'nt it?

Where the hell do you live? Mars? There surely is more people that shave their heads than those who shave sides but not the top. Yes many men have short hair on sides and back but that's far from shaving... far from not having side and back hair at all.

 

[BARCA]

its not the end of the world man...some people cant walk or hear...at least u still have these blessings........save up money, and get a hair transplant...you can do it

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah who wants to be socially mature? It wouldnt even be so bad if we lost the horseshoe and kept what was ontop since most people shave the sides and back short anyway. Its only the top that you style is'nt it?

Where the hell do you live? Mars? There surely is more people that shave their heads than those who shave sides but not the top. Yes many men have short hair on sides and back but that's far from shaving... far from not having side and back hair at all.

Thats what I meant you dont do so much with the sides and back as you do with the top. Given the choice it would look better to keep whats ontop and just wear it short.

 

[uncomfortable man]

GHG, I already explained my deeper issue- it's called body dysmorphic disorder. That is when ones perceived physical flaws are greatly magnified in the minds eye. People with BDD, literally see themselves differently than other people would see them. BTW, I don't still do that layering thing (haven't for well over ten years), if thats what you were thinking.

 

[ghg]

GHG, I already explained my deeper issue- it's called body dysmorphic disorder. That is when ones perceived physical flaws are greatly magnified in the minds eye. People with BDD, literally see themselves differently than other people would see them. BTW, I don't still do that layering thing (haven't for well over ten years), if thats what you were thinking.

I know what bdd is 'cause I have a mild version of it myself... If it's not balding related, then my nose is too big (potato nose), I'm too skinny (not wearing multiple layers of clothes to cover it though), my head is too big and weirdly shaped or something. One problem is that I have no idea how people see me, I never get any comments, good or bad. Never.

 

[Nathaniel]

the thing that annoys me about mbp is the fact that the sides and the back of your hair stay completely fine and you really only lose your hair on top..why the heck is that?? why cant the hair on top just be the same as the hair on the sides and back of your head...its stupid.....why isn't it all just the same, seems kinda weird to me really

god I couldn't have said it any better myself even after searching for so many explanations. Why? Why do we have to lose hair on the top. Sh*t, you can search for tons of scientific reasons for this; evolution, AR receptors, hormones, follicular differences yadda yadda....But the point is that its freaking stupid to lose hair on top while the sides stay put.

 

[ghg]

the thing that annoys me about mbp is the fact that the sides and the back of your hair stay completely fine and you really only lose your hair on top..why the heck is that?? why cant the hair on top just be the same as the hair on the sides and back of your head...its stupid.....why isn't it all just the same, seems kinda weird to me really

god I couldn't have said it any better myself even after searching for so many explanations. Why? Why do we have to lose hair on the top. Sh*t, you can search for tons of scientific reasons for this; evolution, AR receptors, hormones, follicular differences yadda yadda....But the point is that its freaking stupid to lose hair on top while the sides stay put.

Just another proof that God had f*** all to do with anything. It's all evolution, genes and sh*t. Balding on top is one of the few things that really has no logical evolutionary explanation.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I have dreams where I have hair still too. I think because my hairloss came so rapidly (i mean i went from some thining in crown to a Norwood 6 within a year I would say). Some dreams I have I know I am balding but I have more hair than I do now. Then I wake up, reach up, and its not there and I can't fall back asleep.

Here's a scary tidbit. I had an operation years back for an injury. I was scared going as are most people. But I managed. When I got there, the 1st thing I wanted is one of those "shower caps" the nurses and docs wear. Nurse asked me why. I showed her my head and she said "oh". I'll try to find you a couple of them. Nice right?

Ok so I remember the anesthesiologist putting the things in my hand. Next thing I remember is waking up. The VERY FIRST THING I did when I woke up and was all out of it, was reach up and check that the shower thingie was still on. And it was. That just felt weird because I mean I just had an op and my first concern before checking the surgery site and seeing where i was and stuff was to check for it.

I have many dreams also where I am playing a sport and my bandanna or hat falls off. And then I wake up like I was dreaming about falling (everyone knows those, they are spooky) and I am reaching out trying to catch the bandanna or something. Another enjoyable experience.

So dreaming like this when your hairloss bothers you this much, I think is normal.

 

[ghg]

Your story just goes to show that hiding your balding is only gonna bring you misery and grief. Just be open about it and take the possible jokes like a man. It will be harder and harder to stop hiding it the longer you do so. If no one sees your hair for a good year or so, they already know that you're hiding something (most likely balding).

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Im sure they might but I don't have to hear about it. I have cut off friends so I wouldn't have to hear about it. I'm down to only a couple of friends left. One of them I talk to a lot but I see maybe once a year. I know I know it's pathetic, you don't have to tell me that.

I agree with everything you said in your statement except for the "take it like a man" thing. If I had that ability, things would be so much easier. The way it works with me is jokes that hit a personal note don't just go through me. They never have. They stick with me. The proof of this is jokes made about me when I was a kid, I still have nightmares about. I know the reason behind it. Most kids have bad crap from school and stuff but the problem with me is that I would leave then go home and get it worse. I just got it all the time without a break. This is most doubtedly why comments and "jokes" still hurt me now. I think I have felt bad enough for 25 lifetimes.

But I agree with you that I'm sure people think it. I've had people ask and I have lied. In the past year or so, if someone asked, I told them. But would go out of my way not to show it. I guess minor improvement huh?

But I don't want to hijack this guy's thread with my pathetic life story. This one is about his dreams of having hair, which I do sometimes too.