Dumped for hairloss?
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20sometingtoo
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Viperfish said it.... Confidence gets the ladies.
Forget about your hairloss and confidently talk to women. If you don't have any real confidence, then fake it. After a few successes you'll earn geniune confidence and the rest will be history.
I think the reason most girls seem to be turned off by balding men is because they have lost their confidence, not because they are actually losing their hair. Girls are hounds, the can sense that immediatly.
A little example - I'm not necessarily a good looking guy and my hair was long and thin all summer, but I've been talking to 3 different girls in the past 3 months.
Forget about your hairloss and confidently talk to women. If you don't have any real confidence, then fake it. After a few successes you'll earn geniune confidence and the rest will be history.
I think the reason most girls seem to be turned off by balding men is because they have lost their confidence, not because they are actually losing their hair. Girls are hounds, the can sense that immediatly.
A little example - I'm not necessarily a good looking guy and my hair was long and thin all summer, but I've been talking to 3 different girls in the past 3 months.
fred said:
Dude, girls are just as superficial as guys, especially the younger ones. They will dump you in a second if someone else comes along that they are more attracted to.
As far as her telling you about how she was in it for life and in love and all, girls will tell you anything you want to hear if they want to be in a relationship with you. Just like guys say that stuff like that to get into girls pants.
Dont sweat it too much, find somebody that is fun and can be your best friend and who is fun in the sack. And dont waste your time on "hot" girls, they dont value relationships much because they can get a new guy in a second.
And whatever you do, dont take this girl back if she calls you in a couple months after her new guy gets tired of her. Dont trust her, she clearly lied about how she felt about you. Find someone better.
viperfish said:
Been there, done that. The older and balder you get the tougher it is, or I might still be trying.
What I mean is, be less optimistic about real relationships with especially hot girls. Ya gotta ask yourself why they are single, and the reason usually is they dont stay attached to guys very long.
20sometingtoo
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Balding sucks for sure, but don't worry too much about not attracting women - you can easily make up for what you lack up top by becoming successful and charming. I'm joking, but in a way I'm not.
bombscience
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I'm going to add my story to the thread.
I am 26. I have more friends that are women than I do who are men. No, I am not gay.
The other day a good friend of mine was visiting from NYC, and we decided to go meet another friend of ours for lunch. Both of these girls are extremely attractive, out of my league to date, but we all get along and I make them laugh.
So one girl is telling the other about a guy that she just met who is a little bit older than her(she is 24, he is 28). She went on about, "he's somewhat cute, and very smart, and we get along." Then she said, "yeah but it's just not there for me." The girl visiting from NY replies "yeah, that's too bad." The first girl says "Plus, he's going bald." My friend from new york snaps back "Oh screw that then, get rid of him." Ouch.
The funny thing is most people notice my balding now and I've talked to the girl from NY about me losing my hair. She turned to me almost immediately and said, "we'd never say that about you though because you're too nice."
Double ouch. A rough coverup.
I could probably write a personal story like this every day for the next 2 weeks. It's a blessing and a curse to have very attractive friends. Even this Sunday I had my roommates female friends ask me to take off my baseball hat because they "wanted to see my hair." How humiliating is that???
The point is, looks are important to most people. However if you can project yourself as a person who is passionate, honest, and true to their values, your hair, or lack of it, will be much less of a factor.
I am 26. I have more friends that are women than I do who are men. No, I am not gay.
The other day a good friend of mine was visiting from NYC, and we decided to go meet another friend of ours for lunch. Both of these girls are extremely attractive, out of my league to date, but we all get along and I make them laugh.
So one girl is telling the other about a guy that she just met who is a little bit older than her(she is 24, he is 28). She went on about, "he's somewhat cute, and very smart, and we get along." Then she said, "yeah but it's just not there for me." The girl visiting from NY replies "yeah, that's too bad." The first girl says "Plus, he's going bald." My friend from new york snaps back "Oh screw that then, get rid of him." Ouch.
The funny thing is most people notice my balding now and I've talked to the girl from NY about me losing my hair. She turned to me almost immediately and said, "we'd never say that about you though because you're too nice."
Double ouch. A rough coverup.
I could probably write a personal story like this every day for the next 2 weeks. It's a blessing and a curse to have very attractive friends. Even this Sunday I had my roommates female friends ask me to take off my baseball hat because they "wanted to see my hair." How humiliating is that???
The point is, looks are important to most people. However if you can project yourself as a person who is passionate, honest, and true to their values, your hair, or lack of it, will be much less of a factor.
too bald too furious
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I feel your pain man. Its sad but this happens. But i suggest you dont lose heart. I was dumped by my girl friend, and i thot it was becoz of my hair loss. Anyways I just concentrated on my studies and my friends made me better. These days I am seeing a new girl...i think soon i will be banging her a*s. :lol:
silkeysmooth
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bombscience im sorry man, thats total bull sh*t that anyone would have to put up with such people.
bombscience
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Kyriakin said:
thats a little harsh but i see what you're getting at.
bombscience said:
I hate to be the one to tell you this but these girls are walking all over you man. I dont ever feel privileged to hang out with people just because they are extremly attractive. It sounds like they are very superficial, and they treat you like their puppy dog.
I dont know why "nice" guys waste their time chasing after scorching hot girls that look as them as being lesser. If you drop down to going after '8's instead of 10's you would have countless real relationships that you could value a lot more.
wheres baldo
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Dude, these girls think you are their girlfriend. What do girls talk about with eachother....guys. What do they talk to you about....guys. It's obvious you aren't going to get anything from either of them. You are there girlfriend!!! Suck it up and quit hanging out with them....unless you like hearing them talk about all the dudes they are banging.
Deaner
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k, as for 98% of girls not wanting to date bald guys, that's a hoax. When I was in high-school (lots of immature girls, so this makes things even harder), about sophomore year to junior year, I'd shave my head pretty much bald, even bicced it a few times, just to save myself the hassle of haircuts and hairstyles. I was confident, didn't give a crap what people thought of my looks, etc., and junior year was one of my most successful years in attracting girls. It's all in personality and your approach, if you're confident and you're just a genuinely fun person to be around, you'll attract girls without trying.
I still firmly believe that losing your hair is not the end of a strong love life, it'll just make it harder to cope with the loss of what you saw as your own personal identity, and reform yourself to realize you're not that guy with that thick head of hair anymore. At the same time, going bald hasn't killed who you are, unless you let it. So instead of working on your hair, how 'bout working on your game? Be more fun, be more spontaneous, be more flirty, be more confident. Get on with your life
I still firmly believe that losing your hair is not the end of a strong love life, it'll just make it harder to cope with the loss of what you saw as your own personal identity, and reform yourself to realize you're not that guy with that thick head of hair anymore. At the same time, going bald hasn't killed who you are, unless you let it. So instead of working on your hair, how 'bout working on your game? Be more fun, be more spontaneous, be more flirty, be more confident. Get on with your life
bombscience
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wheres baldo said:
riiight, some great words of wisdom there. these girls have been my friends before i started losing my hair and will be my friends after i'm a nw7. i never said i was trying to get something out of them. i actually have fun partying with them and not getting anything in return. they talk to me about the people they sleep with and i talk to them about the people i sleep with. is it that hard to understand that you can have a female friend and nothing more?
secondly they're not walking all over me. i've never felt used by them. they've been there for me when a lot of people haven't so they're my friends. i more or less wrote that story to let everyone know the the depressing but truthful fact that more often than not girls care about men having hair. like all the guys here haven't made a negative comment about a big girl when hanging out with their boys? it's just interesting because I do have these friendships where I get to see a women's prespective about guys.
plus, we've all been superficial.... in fact you could argue that we are the most superficial people of all considering we're scraping to keep every last blade of hair we have.
p.s. I'd rather have my friends call me baldy mcbaldington and laugh with them instead of having strangers ask me to take my hat off so they can judge me.
bombscience said:
I suppose thats possible for some people, not me. The girls I try to be friends with I end up hooking up with and then its weird. I hope you dont pay when you hang out with them. If you are buying them drinks and meals you are getting used.
bombscience said:
You dont have to convince me. Girls are just as superficial as guys. Sure they pretend to care about personality, but that usually means money. Some girls like the bald but shaved look, but guys gotta be really good looking to start with to pull that off well.
Thats why I avoid extremly attractive girls, even if I think they might be interested. If you do start something with one, its a nightmare. The best girlfriends Ive had are decent looking but fun girls.
Accreditor
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Fred, I really do feel for you, however don't think for one moment that all women will reject you because of your hair loss (probably this girl didn't either). Sure, some women won't find bald men attractive just like some men won't find women with/without cetain attributes attractive. I suspect that women over a certain age will be less put off by balding men because most men over a certain age display some signs of balding.
Also remember that a lot of women are more interested in a mans personality than looks. Women love a man who can make them laugh, who can listen and always makes them feel special. And hey, what use is a man with a full head of hair if he can't satisfy a girl in bed......
Perhaps consider paying special attention every day to the way you dress, enhance other things about yourself that women may find attractive. Don't just spend time on your hair loss regime, visit a gym regularly do things to make you feel good about yourself.
Please do not get depressed about this girl, try hard to move on and perhaps view your situation as a lucky escape. Don't (hard as it may seem) lose confidence in yourself, women sense this and it develops into a spiral - that is women will lack interest in you for lots of reasons (you lack humor etc), you will probably blame this 'rejection' on your thining hair (and get further depressed), when in fact the womans lack of interest really came from your apparent lack of confidence/humor.
Good luck!
Also remember that a lot of women are more interested in a mans personality than looks. Women love a man who can make them laugh, who can listen and always makes them feel special. And hey, what use is a man with a full head of hair if he can't satisfy a girl in bed......
Perhaps consider paying special attention every day to the way you dress, enhance other things about yourself that women may find attractive. Don't just spend time on your hair loss regime, visit a gym regularly do things to make you feel good about yourself.
Please do not get depressed about this girl, try hard to move on and perhaps view your situation as a lucky escape. Don't (hard as it may seem) lose confidence in yourself, women sense this and it develops into a spiral - that is women will lack interest in you for lots of reasons (you lack humor etc), you will probably blame this 'rejection' on your thining hair (and get further depressed), when in fact the womans lack of interest really came from your apparent lack of confidence/humor.
Good luck!
fred
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Thank you all; I guess we all pass through that anyway...
Man, my girlfriend dumped me, summer is finishing, I turn 24 today, I feel oooold, the sun is rarer and rarer and my hair is worse than ever... greaaaaat birthday. There are periods were everything goes wrong...
:roll: :cry: :freaked:
Man, my girlfriend dumped me, summer is finishing, I turn 24 today, I feel oooold, the sun is rarer and rarer and my hair is worse than ever... greaaaaat birthday. There are periods were everything goes wrong...
:roll: :cry: :freaked:
G
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fred said:
When anyone finishes with someone it will knock your confidence. Give it a week or two more and you will be ok.