Find out what females think of us....

[ryand2]

First of all, im getting kind of tired of all this, i cant do better attitude.

Everyone here, when talking about women, are making them out to be the prize and gaining their approval over your hair. It's all about the attitude, if your going in asking for approval no women will ever date your or even think about you in a sexual way. You have to get them in your frame so by the time all is said and done they want your approval. Looks dont matter as long as your clean, groomed, and have some sense of style, plus a killer personality that makes them want to be with you. You just have to eliminate ethat self doubt and lack of confidence, women sense that and are repelled by it, not your hair.

 

[CCS]

i strongly disagree with the previous two posters, and I'm glad I am as educated as I am so I don't get pulled into a false la la land.

i do have to agree with ryand2 that if you think of it in terms of them needing your approval, or you needing to decide if you even like them, you will stay out of trouble and be more confident. however, too many people on this board like to villafy good looking women so that they don't have to feel rejected. I will never fall into this trap.

as for barnabas, if a man and woman are both sexy and both jerks, they won't have a good relationship, and won't want to hang out much, but they will have sex with each other, and it will make them happier than if they could not get it at all. nice people get friends, good looking people get sex, and everyone should want to be both.

it is possible i am underestimating myself, but it is completely false that appearance does not matter. i have yet to see a couple missmatched by more than can be explained by money or height or other strong factors I can spot. most couples are dead on even, and I see many couples walk into the convenience store every day. I agree that women don't want it when men beg for their approval, but I don't do that. I merely report my results here on this site.

 

[barnabas]

Well, my last girlfriend was about five times as attractive as me (she vaguely resembles miranda otto, while I look something like Egon from Ghosbusters), came from a rich family that owned a winery (while my family is lowly college professors), was about even with me intelligence-wise, was highly physical with me from the beginning, and we dated for over a year. I definitely don't villify good-looking women, and my post never suggested so. Everything I said is completely true from my experience, and to suggest that women only date attractive or rich men is completely false. Not to mention, whining cause you can't "get good looking women" is just as shallow and pathetic as you seem to think women are. If you are looking for women based solely on their appearance you deserve to get rejected, and it won't just be because of your hairloss.

Everyone always says "wah, shut up, you date attractive women, you obviously are shallow too," but that's not the case at all. It just happens that in general unattractive people will have been ostracized and discriminated against by their peers all their lives and thus have vastly more unappealing personalities, poorer social skills and lower self-esteem. Unattractive people that don't have an attitude of self-loathing towards their appearance and aren't shut-ins don't generally remain single if they don't want to.

 

[Guest]

I think the answer to all of these conundrums is to marry before you go bald. That way she can't leave you without a legal fight.

Haha jk.

 

[CCS]

"If you are looking for women based solely on their appearance you deserve to get rejected, and it won't just be because of your hairloss."

appearance is only one quality I look for, same as everyone else. i don't know why you would say someone deserves to be rejected just because he wants what everyone else wants. the only reason i could imagine someone getting upset about who i or anyone choses to date is if they feel attacked in some way. specifically, if i'm defending someone who rejected him once. if you are happy with who you can date, good for you. we all must choose what makes us happy in life. i still don't see why you should get upset enough to use words like bastard or say some people do not deserve happiness.

 

[barnabas]

"If you are looking for women based solely on their appearance you deserve to get rejected, and it won't just be because of your hairloss."

appearance is only one quality I look for, same as everyone else. i don't know why you would say someone deserves to be rejected just because he wants what everyone else wants. the only reason i could imagine someone getting upset about who i or anyone choses to date is if they feel attacked in some way. specifically, if i'm defending someone who rejected him once. if you are happy with who you can date, good for you. we all must choose what makes us happy in life. i still don't see why you should get upset enough to use words like bastard or say some people do not deserve happiness.

You never have said anything about your ability to date women except that now you will have to go for chubby ones, or whatever. You never take anything into account other than appearance in your discussions here, forgetting that less attractive women are not really much less likely to be shallow and turn down balding guys. In fact, in many cases they're MORE likely to, as unattractive women tend to be more bitter and nasty in my experience. And you certainly aren't defending anyone, much less someone that rejected me once, so I'm not really sure what the second part of your post is referring to. It sounds to me like you're CONDEMNING attractive women by saying they won't date anyone unless they're rich or not-balding.

 

[CCS]

I'm not condeming anyone by saying they are like everyone else. And i was venturing a guess at your anger. i did not say that i knew you were rejected by anyone.

that is an interesting point you made about the physically unattractive women. I was already aware they are no more attracted to any appearance type than the physically attractive women are. i just noticed that women who can't get the best looking men tend to take the next best looking ones they can get. it is interesting though that some may be so bitter that they would rather reject everyone because they want a perfect looking guy, rather than take anyone. Even if they would take a guy who is less than perfect looking, I think the fact that women can get better looking guys at bars may keep some of there standards up. but when these guys leave them because the guys only settled because they wanted sex right away, and can get better looking women later, the women get upset and call these men jerks. This is what i'm infering. Often when a woman says in her online match profile that she wants a guy who is not a jerk or cheater, i assume she does not want me even though i am not either. i assume she wants really attractive men, has gotten them temporarily in the past, and is angry at them for leaving and is looking for a good looking guy who won't leave her. Even if she did go for me, she would think she looks better than me just because she has slept with better looking guys before. So i don't contact those women.

 

[CCS]

and professors are not lowly. even in the extremely cheap town I live in they make between 50 and 75k to start, depending on their discipline. women are more likely to discriminate against guys don't have a car than guys who don't own a yaught. rich women don't car if a guy does not own a yaught. they probably like it because they can use their money to get a better looking guy. then they will boast that they are not shallow because they did not go for a rich guy.

have you heard of marginal utility, from economics? the more you have of something, the less each additional unit is worth to you? well someone's income and how good they look will affect who they will pick from the people with the combo of attractive characteristics they can get.

a very poor pretty woman might take a middle income 9 over a poor 10, but she won't take a millionair 8 over a middle income 9. since men have more money than women on average, men tend to care less about a woman's money and more about her looks. and in bed, looks are not everything. so is size, which is why women might go for a slightly worse looking taller guy over a good looking short guy. women can appear less shallow because they don't appear at first to match up with their boyfriend, but they do. they just have 3 superficial desires to balance instead of 1.

 

[Axon]

head in hands.

 

[hawks05]

college you gotta get outside of your own head. really

 

[DavidSWP]

Chem Student has never had sex in vivo.

 

[DaSand]

I thought maybe I'd share, but there are women who don't give a sh*t if you're bald or not. I've run into women that love bald guys. I think the right person doesn't care if you're losing hair or not.

It all comes down to personality and posture. I've gotten several looks from women despite I have a bad hairline and thinning over the years.

Work out in exercise too, it makes a difference.

 

[barnabas]

I know one woman that has this idea that balding guys have more testosterone and thus will not suffer from erectile dysfunction while all the hairy guys won't be able to get it up as they mature, and thus she goes for teh balding ones ;_;

She might be wrong, but I'm not about to correct her 8)

 

[CCS]

that is nice to know, but I'm not going to tell any women I ever was going bald once my grafts grow out.

 

[CCS]

DavidSWP, I've been offered sex many times by women I was not attracted to, so I turned them down. I know if I'm willing to take a woman I'm not attracted to, I can go get sex today. I just don't want to do that any more than I want to find out which gay men I can take home. The only way I'd do favors for a gay man is if he took care of his health and either I knew he was the only gay man left (say the others had died off somehow) or he was the only decent looking one left. Since there seems to be a billions of straight men over a full spectrum of appearances, I don't see the need to date women I'm not attracted to, unless she has polio or something else that is completely out of her control and not her fault.



I can't find the thread someone said this in, but someone said I could have started my hairloss treatment much sooner. That is true, but I was already about a NW2 at about age 15 or 16, before Propecia was on the market, and before I was 18. Rogaine did not yet have a generic, and my parents were poor. I was a high NW3 before I had the finances to buy finasteride from a local pharmacy. I am almost 27.

Hair loss is not something that one does to himself and can readilly undo. It is done to him by genetics, and can be stopped in 83% of cases and not reversed very easily, and can sneak up on people who don't have family members who went that bald especially at a young age.



Also, I never said women would dump their boyfriends the instant they start going bald.
1) The probability of partners being exact equals is not high, since it would take too long to find an exact equal. Therefore, half the women out there are less attractive than their boyfriend before he starts loosing hair.
2) Before some woman break up, they often will take a month or two either being nice to clear their conscience or being not nice in hopes he will dump her first, or looking for other reasons for the break up so she does not have to mention the hair, or just finding another partner so she is not without one when she dumps him.
3) Women who are more committed don't just plan a break up. They just start noticing that they are not as happy as they used to be. The physically attraction my not be there as much, if the two did not have a strong attraction to begin with. She also will continue to get hit on by guys who look better than he does. It all just starts to weigh on her a bit, and unless she acknowledges it and makes a conscious decision to stay with him despite it all, because she loves him and wants to spend her life with him, she will eventually decide to leave, and maybe enter point #2 or be more direct.

Some women will stay. But if only your future marriage partner stays, i don't think that the fact that the woman who dumped me was not marriage matterial yet would console me about getting dumped and possibly having to start lower next time. Getting dumped is hard enough for guys whose appearance did not change. Of course if these non-balding men had their hopes up if their girlfriend got in shape, then I guess it could hurt them as much when they got dumped.

Finally, baldness does not have to lead to a break up if you make up for it in other ways. If she took you when you were NW3, that means you were close to equal then, and your change to NW4 is not that big of a change. If she took you at NW1 and neither of you changed in any other way since then, and you go to NW4 and don't have a head that looks good shaved, that is a different issue. She will likely stay only if she is very committed to you, or really thought you were way better than the other guys she could get when she first caught you.

 

[barnabas]

This degree of insane over-speculation reminds me of when I was in high school and had never been in a real relationship. I didn't get in one either until I stopped being ridiculous and over-analytical about everything. Seriously, you think about it WAY too much, and to be making such sweeping and analytic dissections of something like how women behave in relationships requires first-hand experience (and even then isn't really applicable, cause everyone will have a different experience, cause different guys attract different kinds of women). "Turning down sex that you've been offered by many girls" both sounds like it is lying AND is completely irrelevant to the discussion.

Basically, posts like that probably make a lot of people want to give you a swirly. Stick to the chemistry and hair loss research, please! Your mind is programmed mainly for that sort of extremely ordered thing, it seems.

 

[IBM]

.

 

[Guest]

and professors are not lowly. even in the extremely cheap town I live in they make between 50 and 75k to start, depending on their discipline. women are more likely to discriminate against guys don't have a car than guys who don't own a yaught. rich women don't car if a guy does not own a yaught. they probably like it because they can use their money to get a better looking guy. then they will boast that they are not shallow because they did not go for a rich guy.

have you heard of marginal utility, from economics? the more you have of something, the less each additional unit is worth to you? well someone's income and how good they look will affect who they will pick from the people with the combo of attractive characteristics they can get.

a very poor pretty woman might take a middle income 9 over a poor 10, but she won't take a millionair 8 over a middle income 9. since men have more money than women on average, men tend to care less about a woman's money and more about her looks. and in bed, looks are not everything. so is size, which is why women might go for a slightly worse looking taller guy over a good looking short guy. women can appear less shallow because they don't appear at first to match up with their boyfriend, but they do. they just have 3 superficial desires to balance instead of 1.

Ok, I'm an economics major. And i can tell you that you cannot apply the theory of marginal utility to women and relationships, because they are not constants and there are too many outside variables that cannot be contained.

 

[Guest]

Finally, baldness does not have to lead to a break up if you make up for it in other ways. If she took you when you were NW3, that means you were close to equal then, and your change to NW4 is not that big of a change. If she took you at NW1 and neither of you changed in any other way since then, and you go to NW4 and don't have a head that looks good shaved, that is a different issue. She will likely stay only if she is very committed to you, or really thought you were way better than the other guys she could get when she first caught you.

Say the two people are married. If the guy is NW1 when they're married, and nothing else changes except for the guy progressing to NW4. In most cases she will not leave him just for that. She may leave him because he gets depressed about his hair and becomes a different person. But I really think you are totally wrong about this and most women will support their husband OR very significant other IF they are in LOVE. You never seem to account for LOVE in your arguments and seem to have a very cynical view of the entire thing.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and I'm going to ask her to marry me in a year or so. This probably won't happen but if I progress to Norwood 5 or worse, and she leaves me, i can guarantee you it won't be because of that. Why? Because we're in love.

I should also mention that she's a little better looking than me. But I have confidence and a great personality. She could find someone more attractive than me but she wasn't attracted to me for my looks. i mean she likes how i look and thinks i am attractive, but she was attracted to me for my sense of humor, for my caring demeanor, for my penis size, etc.

You can dismiss my experience as an outlier and say that I'm wrong about her, but I know her a lot better than you do. And I really think that there are a lot of women like this. Ask the married people on here. Most say that their spouses support them fully and wouldn't care if they went completely bald.

I agree that it helps a little bit to have hair if you're going out to meet some random skank at a bar. But it's easily made up for by a body made hard by work in the gym, or other variables, not the least of which is a good PERSONALITY.

 

[CCS]

Most men won't divorce their overweight wives either. Kids keep many marriages together, and many marriages don't have sex between the married members. Hair probably matters more to people who are used to having sex with the lights on.

That is great that your size helps you, but half of the guys here won't get that kind of help. Smaller membered guys may have been relying on their hair, even though their personality is great, and now loosing it hurts them more than it hurts you. Also, size will help any guy keep a better looking woman, even if his personality is no better than hers.

I do believe that couples with bad personalities will break up more often. But the members will still get a similar partner later, instead of going downhill.