For those who think they will never get a decent looking girlfriend

[Rudiger]

I've answered this question plenty of times, and to yourself once before as well. It's a little bit of coping with reality mechanism, and it's also:

Fred does it to win arguments, his "experiences" are anecdotal but to him they are the golden rules, so this I care about. I find that much more serious for this forum, it's not just laughable, he uses it to influence other people's opinions negatively (as if anyone on here needs to be MORE negative).

The amount of times you pluck some anecdote which happens to slot perfectly in with the debate that's going, it's like "Oh! Well isn't that convenient". Even better when it just so happened that your anecdote was "just the other day" or last week.

 

[marco75]

That's the advantage of having one date per day. Lots of anecdotes to tell.

This is the paradox of you Fred, you get dates easily but yet you still have insecurities about your hair. All the evidence of your life points to women aren't in the least bit concerned by your hair situation, in fact you have mentioned women have questioned why you even got a transplant. If you analyse it a lot of the stuff is all born from your own perceptions.

 

[Rudiger]

Yes at some point the paradox of Fred started going a bit too far for me, to the point where it's like, I started to feel stupid for still believing it.

What you just wrote reminded me of how he said his girlfriend of over 1 year did not even realise there was an issue with his hair, and shortly after that relationship writing how he's NW2.5 and crown is half gone, how the **** did she not notice? You spend that much time with someone, up close, different lighting obviously, basically from every angle, and don't even notice there's an issue with his hair? When it's blatantly obvious even at first glance? Right.

Apart from that there's also the fact he spends so much time on here, as do I, so I know what it's like to hide this forum from people (and you do get quite skilled at it, I pretty much remember to close the browser page every single time I move away from my laptop, or close it on my phone etc.) but I dunno, in a relationship for that period of time and she never had a clue about this forum.

But more than that, baldness is obviously such a huge thing for Fred, I completely believe in the idea of never conceding to a woman how much baldness impacts you, because it will never go right, she will never fully understand, and it's going to cause all sorts of issues potentially. But I can't see how Fred wouldn't inevitably admit it to her, or at least give some sign. He was bald for like 5 years, how does he hide such a chunk of his past? Did he have absolutely no pictures from that period? Isn't he worried his friends or family might at some point mention it?

Too much, it's just all too much.

Fred you've admitted yourself that your life is somewhat absurd and extraordinary, that your friends say you should write a book about it. I think if you're being reasonable, it's pretty logical on my part to at least somewhat scrutinise things like the above in this post, because you are just a guy on the internet, it's very understandable that anyone should question it. Instead you are completely disillusioned.

I don't blame shooks for doubting I get laid, I don't blame you either for thinking the same thing and I'm insecure at the thought of others getting women, but at the same time seeing as it's pretty irrelevant to my arguments and posts, I don't get why it would be important for me to lie about it.

 

[Rudiger]

I can't believe I managed to pull this off.

Exactly! I think it's pretty fair for me to ask questions, I've paid attention, I do remember much of your tales of your life, and when examined closely it's all very hard to believe.

If you have said before your life story is very complicated and hard to understand, I don't think it's too crazy what I'm convinced of. Maybe instead of "why would I lie?" well, take away the reason, let's say I have no idea or theories on WHY, and just ask "does it look like I lie?" and if you think there are parts of your stories that are basically unbelievable, the answer to that question is, yes. Just forget about a motive altogether.

 

[jd_uk]

Do we need to have this conversation over and over again?

Good looks doesn't guarantee you success in life, but it helps a lot. Shookwun wants to spend ~$10,000, a day of surgery, a few days of recovery (maybe two weeks I don't know), to improve his looks. It just doesn't seem like such a terrible investment. There are far more stupid things people spend money on, for example ~$150,000 for a Masters in Business Administration at a non-elite university. Really, there are so many worse things.

There are all sorts of examples of 7's dating 9's and so on. You want to know something? You're more likely to date a 9 if you're a 9 than an 8, and you're more likely to date a 9 if you're an 8 than a 7, and so on. Yes, personality matters, try and be a good person ... by all evidence Shookwun is a go-getter. For example instead of coming up with lame excuses to not go to the gym, he goes to the gym.

One of the most beautiful women I know is married to a bald guy. She's gorgeous, I've seen her naked lol. I have not met the guy, I bet he's a great guy. It is also important to have a good personality. Perhaps there's not enough focus on that, but that's intrinsic to the forum. This is a hair loss forum. We come here due to BDD.

But about this girl lighting up when you spoke about your goals ... I bet your goals would have been utterly irrelevant if you didn't meet her minimal threshold. Even if you had a credible plan to cure breast and ovarian cancer, it wouldn't have mattered.

There's a ~400 page thread on bodybuilding.com, "Were you treated differently after losing weight", where people discuss their experiences, of which there is a wide range. If you lose weight, the world treats you better. But they also talk about personality, what many of the posters have said is that after losing weight, one needs to lose "the fat guy mentality".

I disagree that getting a chin implant when you already look normal is a good investment. Any cosmetic surgery has risks...both cosmetic and physical/health risks. It is well documented that people with BDD are much less likely to be satisfied with cosmetic surgery results and they are much more likely to feel distressed if things aren't 'perfect'/as they imagined it would or should be. It's clear from the things shookwun writes (something about nothing in life being more important than enhancing looks) that he has quite bad BDD and the fact that he mentions it too/states that it is self destructive confirms this. Therefore i don't think it's particularly responsible to encourage these things.

Regarding that girl and minimal thresholds...i have no idea...and no way of proving or disproving otherwise. I will say that I've never met anyone quite like her... she was dutch, extremely strong and confident in her ways and intellectual too...i'd have to explain more for you to understand. People will rubbish 'game' but tuis girl was as close to a 10/10 looks wise as i ever saw and one thing i leant from 'game' was that these girls respond far better to you getting to know them and focusing on their personality more than their looks. It's exactly what I did and it worked. I imagine most other guys complimented her to try to get laid...i just treated her like i would treat my little sister. British women are probably more physically shallow...the media here is probably to blame for that. While I'm sure that she had purely physical urges I'm certain that the biggest things for her attraction wise were not physical. We spent about two weeks together travelling and discussed life in detail for hours over many nights so i got a good idea as to what she responded to etc.

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Exactly! I think it's pretty fair for me to ask questions, I've paid attention, I do remember much of your tales of your life, and when examined closely it's all very hard to believe.

If you have said before your life story is very complicated and hard to understand, I don't think it's too crazy what I'm convinced of. Maybe instead of "why would I lie?" well, take away the reason, let's say I have no idea or theories on WHY, and just ask "does it look like I lie?" and if you think there are parts of your stories that are basically unbelievable, the answer to that question is, yes. Just forget about a motive altogether.

'Uncomfortable man' made a good point recently...he talked about this forum being one of exaggeration because it is where people come to vent. Hence why it can be so depressing and biased to a particular line of thinking. He was actually defending it I think which I sorta disagree with, but anyway, the point is that people will post the worst about their lives/experiences with hair loss ignoring the positive reactions. Likewise certain posters (often the same ones) will exaggerate their positive experiences with women. And that will change depending on their mood. It's not exactly a place of mental stability.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Fred's ex-girlfriend may not have consciously realized there was anything wrong with his hair, but her subconscious likely noticed it. The vast majority of sexual chemistry is subconscious.

Notice how FWHR is an important metric, yet the term has only been around for a few years. We're only consciously aware of it now, but it's obviously mattered for tens of thousands of years.

I think Fred's situation is pretty consistent and clear. He is able to get a lot of girls and have sex with them. However, he wishes he were able to get better girls, and keep them, and believes better hair would facilitate that desire.

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I disagree that getting a chin implant when you already look normal is a good investment. Any cosmetic surgery has risks...both cosmetic and physical/health risks. It is well documented that people with BDD are much less likely to be satisfied with cosmetic surgery results and they are much more likely to feel distressed if things aren't 'perfect'/as they imagined it would or should be. It's clear from the things shookwun writes (something about nothing in life being more important than enhancing looks) that he has quite bad BDD and the fact that he mentions it too/states that it is self destructive confirms this. Therefore i don't think it's particularly responsible to encourage these things.

Regarding that girl and minimal thresholds...i have no idea...and no way of proving or disproving otherwise. I will say that I've never met anyone quite like her... she was dutch, extremely strong and confident in her ways and intellectual too...i'd have to explain more for you to understand. People will rubbish 'game' but tuis girl was as close to a 10/10 looks wise as i ever saw and one thing i leant from 'game' was that these girls respond far better to you getting to know them and focusing on their personality more than their looks. It's exactly what I did and it worked. I imagine most other guys complimented her to try to get laid...i just treated her like i would treat my little sister. British women are probably more physically shallow...the media here is probably to blame for that. While I'm sure that she had purely physical urges I'm certain that the biggest things for her attraction wise were not physical. We spent about two weeks together travelling and discussed life in detail for hours over many nights so i got a good idea as to what she responded to etc.

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Those are big claims to make if you're not an expert on cosmetic surgery. It may actually help Shookwun.

I might get facial surgery in the future. But right now I'm just trying to improve my apparent bone structure by dropping to 75 or 80 Kg. I'm at 88 down from 108.

 

[jd_uk]

Fred's ex-girlfriend may not have consciously realized there was anything wrong with his hair, but her subconscious likely noticed it. The vast majority of sexual chemistry is subconscious.

Notice how FWHR is an important metric, yet the term has only been around for a few years. We're only consciously aware of it now, but it's obviously mattered for tens of thousands of years.

I think Fred's situation is pretty consistent and clear. He is able to get a lot of girls and have sex with them. However, he wishes he were able to get better girls, and keep them, and believes better hair would facilitate that desire.

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Those are big claims to make if you're not an expert on cosmetic surgery. It may actually help Shookwun.

I might get facial surgery in the future. But right now I'm just trying to improve my apparent bone structure by dropping to 75 or 80 Kg. I'm at 88 down from 108.

What exactly are the big claims? I know a lot about BDD.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

What exactly are the big claims? I know a lot about BDD.

That jaw-line surgery won't yield big benefits, that cosmetic surgery doesn't improve lives.

 

[Hairon]

Of course these girls for whom looks do not matter exist, jd. One has to be blind not so see it.
However most couples are well matched, meaning that attractive women tend to end up with attractive men.

Do you know the "matching hypothesis", BTW?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis

An excerpt:

Walster et al (1966) experiment:
attractiveness was found to be the most important factor in enjoying the date and whether or not they would sleep with them when propositioned. It was more important than intelligence and personality.[SUP][1][/SUP]
...
White conducted a study on 123 dating couples at UCLA. He stated that good physical matches may be conducive to good relationships. The study reported that partners most similar in physical attractiveness were found to rate themselves happier and report deeper feelings of love.[SUP][9]


[/SUP]Is it useful to discuss about something we cannot change? Probably not. But then again we wouldn't even have a forum, just a web page for "big three" and one for "histogen, replicel and Brotzu"

that's odd, because I have read several researches stating that couples were happier when the woman was more attractive than the man

 

[marco75]

Fred's ex-girlfriend may not have consciously realized there was anything wrong with his hair, but her subconscious likely noticed it. The vast majority of sexual chemistry is subconscious.

Notice how FWHR is an important metric, yet the term has only been around for a few years. We're only consciously aware of it now, but it's obviously mattered for tens of thousands of years.

I think Fred's situation is pretty consistent and clear. He is able to get a lot of girls and have sex with them. However, he wishes he were able to get better girls, and keep them, and believes better hair would facilitate that desire.

- - - Updated - - -



Those are big claims to make if you're not an expert on cosmetic surgery. It may actually help Shookwun.

I might get facial surgery in the future. But right now I'm just trying to improve my apparent bone structure by dropping to 75 or 80 Kg. I'm at 88 down from 108.

When you meet someone on a date you will look at their hair and easily tell their situation, also since she slept with him for months the sexual chemistry was there. This kind of paranoid thinking is what makes this place a bit pathetic.

Instead of facial surgery you should spend the money on a shrink. Getting plastic surgery is a flag for deep rooted insecurity, (see Michael Jackson)

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

When you meet someone on a date you will look at their hair and easily tell their situation, also since she slept with him for months the sexual chemistry was there. This kind of paranoid thinking is what makes this place a bit pathetic.

Instead of facial surgery you should spend the money on a shrink. Getting plastic surgery is a flag for deep rooted insecurity, (see Michael Jackson)

It's not absurd to argue that a better-looking person has more margin for error within a relationship, whereas a less good-looking person is more likely to be dumped at the first or second sign of trouble.

Yes, Fred's GF slept with him. A lot of ex-girlfriends in the world have slept with a lot of men. I think you're mistaken in implying that personality is the only possible reason why one might get dumped.

As for your condescending advice to me, first of all please don't be an *** on this forum, we don't need this here that's what the rest of the internet is for. Second, I'm aware I have various issues and am working on both image and personality issues. I am seeing a psychologist ... and a personal trainer. And a few others things too. If you have anything constructive to suggest feel free to do so, but your insults are a waste of everybody's time.

With respect to your comparison to Michael Jackson ... that would count as a "strawman".

 

[marco75]

It's not absurd to argue that a better-looking person has more margin for error within a relationship, whereas a less good-looking person is more likely to be dumped at the first or second sign of trouble.

Yes, Fred's GF slept with him. A lot of ex-girlfriends in the world have slept with a lot of men. I think you're mistaken in implying that personality is the only possible reason why one might get dumped.

As for your condescending advice to me, first of all please don't be an *** on this forum, we don't need this here that's what the rest of the internet is for. Second, I'm aware I have various issues and am working on both image and personality issues. I am seeing a psychologist ... and a personal trainer. And a few others things too. If you have anything constructive to suggest feel free to do so, but your insults are a waste of everybody's time.

With respect to your comparison to Michael Jackson ... that would count as a "strawman".

Sorry about the insults I shouldn't have done that, but you have any proof that Fred's ex split because of his hair? Looks come in to play initially, women know within a few minutes if they want to sleep with you. You can only screw that up by doing or saying stupid ****. Couples split all the time for various reasons, so what, you got to bang her for months when 90% of guys couldn't even get her number, If it was because of hair then good riddance to the shallow ****