found out my ex-girlfriend got married last year and feel like absolute sh*t

[DyingOfTheLight]

I have an account that I created only for talks with my ex, after a whole year without a single word coming from each other. Last time we talked was a week ago and she only replied my "Good morning", saying nothing else after. I've been the talker ever since we got back in touch again, and she hasn't said a single word yet since her last text. I couldn't reply early that day because I was busy so I thought she would continue our conversation, but she didn't. The same day she was at a pub, according to her friend's story. It hurts to be honest, because she gave me false hopes during our talks and we even met by an unfortunate accident. She's showed herself to be really active on social media lately, something that she wasn't before our break up. The worst part of it is that you keep expecting a text or a notification from her and nothing comes. I should just accept that we weren't meant to be and that the break up occurred for this exact reason.

Still, throwing away 4 years of a romantic relationship plus the years we spent as friends only is not easy. When I was accepting our break up, I told myself multiple times that if I could turn back time, I would live that with her all over again. But now? I wish that those memories would just disappear.

In the vast majority of cases, nothing good comes from staying friends after a romantic relationship has run its course. Only the constant torture of what wasn't to be.

 

[norwood_spotter]

I have an account that I created only for talks with my ex, after a whole year without a single word coming from each other. Last time we talked was a week ago and she only replied my "Good morning", saying nothing else after. I've been the talker ever since we got back in touch again, and she hasn't said a single word yet since her last text. I couldn't reply early that day because I was busy so I thought she would continue our conversation, but she didn't. The same day she was at a pub, according to her friend's story. It hurts to be honest, because she gave me false hopes during our talks and we even met by an unfortunate accident. She's showed herself to be really active on social media lately, something that she wasn't before our break up. The worst part of it is that you keep expecting a text or a notification from her and nothing comes. I should just accept that we weren't meant to be and that the break up occurred for this exact reason.

Still, throwing away 4 years of a romantic relationship plus the years we spent as friends only is not easy.

ya, i get what you mean. i dont think its healthy to see ex partners everyday, especially on social media, where everyone presents himself the best way. at least this is how it is for me.

i dont know if it was corona but the last 2-3 days really felt like a hit in the stomach (literally), really triggered some unhealthy "what-if“ and "if i could just turn back time“ thought loops in me, again, because i also had that directly after the break up. it was really bad back then, because at the time of the break up i already was at a bad spot and the break up made everything worse. i never talked about it, how much it affected me, because i didnt want come across as a pussy. almost dropped out of college back then, very dark times. i didnt had much social contacts in college except her and her friends (who basically disappeared of my life with her) and building up something new in college with just a few semester left for me wasnt really possible.


in the last years i basically forgot about her the last years so im really gladful i dont have to see her everyday. on the other hand i can imagine it can be motivating for others in a way?

 

[Oknow]

In the vast majority of cases, nothing good comes from staying friends after a romantic relationship has run its course. Only the constant torture of what wasn't to be.

experiencing that right now

it’s funny how it’s always the woman that wants friendship after a relationship ends

 

[I wont lose this]

ya, i get what you mean. i dont think its healthy to see ex partners everyday, especially on social media, where everyone presents himself the best way. at least this is how it is for me.

i dont know if it was corona but the last 2-3 days really felt like a hit in the stomach (literally), really triggered some unhealthy "what-if“ and "if i could just turn back time“ thought loops in me, again, because i also had that directly after the break up. it was really bad back then, because at the time of the break up i already was at a bad spot and the break up made everything worse. i never talked about it, how much it affected me, because i didnt want come across as a pussy. almost dropped out of college back then, very dark times. i didnt had much social contacts in college except her and her friends (who basically disappeared of my life with her) and building up something new in college with just a few semester left for me wasnt really possible.


in the last years i basically forgot about her the last years so im really gladful i dont have to see her everyday. on the other hand i can imagine it can be motivating for others in a way?

Man let me tell you... When I said that she was giving me the hopes, it really meant it. She asked me if we could meet and watch movies, she said she missed my kisses and everything about me and the list goes on. But the worst thing is, she was the one who decided to end things. I am stupid for going after her after a whole year, but I felt I needed closure. I just didn't imagine things would turn out the way they did.

Just like you, she was my only friend during years, she and my brother. Now I only have him, which is weird because I considered her that whole time as 'family', and she knew that. To think that I am that disposable really bothers me. One night we were talking about how important we were to each other and a few weeks later there was nothing, just a void that followed her last text to me. I'll never forget that.

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

experiencing that right now

it’s funny how it’s always the woman that wants friendship after a relationship ends

Women are pragmatic. They keep you hanging by a thread if they think there's a possibility they can fall back on you in the future

 

[BeHereNow]

she dumped me years ago, broke my heart, never got really over it, havent heard from here for years

now i sit at home with corona, nothing to do and googled her name, found her phd thesis from last year in which she thanks her f*****g husband

it hurts more then i like to admit

How much hair does her husband have?

 

[norwood_spotter]

How much hair does her husband have?

i dont know how he looks like, probably fullhead though

one question remaining: why did she release her thesis on her former name? does it mean she didnt take his last name? or is it normal amongst "scientist“ to write their thesis under the old name?

 

[BeHereNow]

i dont know how he looks like, probably fullhead though

one question remaining: why did she release her thesis on her former name? does it mean she didnt take his last name? or is it normal amongst "scientist“ to write their thesis under the old name?

Woke feminist possibly. In any case, you need to meditate this stuff away, it’s no good turning it over like this.

 

[UnLuckyLuciano]

i dont know how he looks like, probably fullhead though

one question remaining: why did she release her thesis on her former name? does it mean she didnt take his last name? or is it normal amongst "scientist“ to write their thesis under the old name?

Our australian friend, you need to understand that time heals all.
I really suggest you start reading about stoicism. I fking cant understand how u go to the gym, use all your negative energy lifting weights and still be this bitter towards a wh*** that did sh*t to you years years ago.

 

[norwood_spotter]

The real issue is that your life sucks. Fix your hair, looks, and life... fix your mind. Change. Evolve. Live. Be happy. Then you won't think of anything, much less of her.

i guess its the only way

 

[norwood_spotter]

Our australian friend, you need to understand that time heals all.
I really suggest you start reading about stoicism. I fking cant understand how u go to the gym, use all your negative energy lifting weights and still be this bitter towards a wh*** that did sh*t to you years years ago.

im from germany
i know stoicism but its hard to be consistent with it, sometimes i just want to scream about the injustice in this world and the cards i got dealt with