Thanks to everyone for their kind advice and I have made arrangements to self report whenever convenient. I have spot-on mental health and tranny medication coverage although that's chicken and egg. I seek validation and approval and when I went bald, I didn't deserve that anymore and I burned all bridges with everyone not to protect me but them from being infected. Here, every single one of you isn't tranny but you know exactly what I mean about self esteem and self respect making the man. But you guys aren't men, most of you either. I mean come on. I was one of you.
I probably can't form the Will to stay offline but I am retreating to my thread and to reddit and licking my wounds so to speak. Don't turn out like me guys and if you can't accept being alive and bald, like I couldn't then get help fast. Every bit of advice though I stand by and I wanted to give back and be involved with humanity and my X still claims I am intelligent and creative but not enough for her so I drove her away while worshiping her as a demi-goddess.
I have sunk to being proud to prance and pose and dance and I love myself or Will does or eh... Think of me like this and not like some bimbo in a mommy suit.
No regrets though and come on, some of my stuff is edgy and hot and they are not my fears; they belong to alter. So maybe show me some respect and yes, sympathy and taste or I'll.... And Will was a gentleman in every way a guy could be and God still screwed him royally if not from behind so with my Goddess if not my goddess I remain while I avoid telephones cause if I call again, I have to make a mad dash to the treatment center before the cops come again and last time, when the two officers asked to come in, it didn't work out the way that I had planned but my judgments completely shot. Bye. I didn't mean to, swear to Goddess but now I am stuck and there's no way out, huis clos is the term in colloquial French. Not even Freud, Jung and a pack of male Collie dogs could fix me now. I am Syd Barrett without a filter... But Syd lost his hair see and it was tragic what happened to him and Janey.... Without Syd's boyish curls, Roger Waters just took over and multi-colored prism caught Will's eyes and drew him in. Lisa loved that record too and she was always on top of things so to speak. All of Syd's songs are about me and he nailed the fascination with panties. Why are guys like that<turns up nose>
But listen to the lyrics of Bike and yes, bike riding is much more fun for chicks, just saying and Syd's maybe madder than me. I don't howl; only spit, scratch and hiss and Lisa taught me all of that. That's why people do when they get raped and they can't stop the sexual assault. You kick and scream and spit and hiss and scratch but ultimately you lie back and think of Trump eh, England as the saying goes but me, I think of Merkel.
Don't scorn me. Save yourselves. Janey couldn't save Will.
Too everyone that I have disappointed just go back to what you would have been doing and Butter and Jake and the cartoon guy with the shaved head, I really liked you three but Butter, you are a man and you are sensitive and I love punning with you and funning with you and even dunning with you as say a cow.
If I end up in jail that's it for me so I have to smack myself around to get back into the submissive Will dynamic but eh, I prefer being this now. Sorry to my Marine corps father who wouldn't let me wear my hair long but you destroyed my life and made me gay er trans. But look for some Janey polls where you get to pick like Jason Todd whether she stays or whether she goes. That ended up being an amazing story arc.... But for me. I mean I am smitten with this girl, Janey and yes, she's legal everybody, 16's legal in Maryland.
I fought this with most of my strength guys and maybe you can get stuck on this side with hair but no way back psychologically especially with breast grafts and SRS but no implants. I stand firm on one thing. I won't turn Janey into a bimbo and it's hard enough to keep her just a sissy but rock bottom's when your choices are Bimbo gum chewer and Sissy maid/made to all of the bald boys. Bending over for bald boys? You can't sink lower than that except now in bed, I don't see Lisa, I see big bald six feet two Butterbean and I think of the real butter bean and that makes any guy/girl hot, right? rising pitch. I am going to take my meds now.
Kisses and yes, my bottom is not too ugly, Pigeon! Either way, kiss my *** as I move on to institutionalized life. And my beloved Sol. Janey's throwing you back and think if this is really what you want. I still do but once you are on this side, being a guy again just seems heartbreaking and I can't ever go back.... And Plz, you break my heart because Janey goes by intelligence in terms of estimating age and I see you as about 40 and still attractive and smart like Sol and you have common sense. I don't and I won't and that's the reality. But Sol and Plz, as my lawyer will soon say she hit me and I took it and then I took the blame for her smacking me around all of those years to protect her and I didn't even hire a lawyer then cause I adored her but no jail, honey! Plz, don't hate someone with raging PTSD and six years of no sleep at night without special meds that make me sleep all day but without them the ADHD med keeps me up.
As I tell my family, Rebekah says that if I am still trying and taking all of my meds and staying in weekly to thrice-weekly therapy then people should forgive me. That's all the mentally disabled, temporary as it might be say with PTSD or not say with mind-erasing gender dysphoria where you order your X to throw you out and take the kids and flee plus a lover and then she did, cept not the lover and now that very idea of my X, I remain true to my Catholic vows but my court psychologist, Julie, she's blonde and only 52 so Janey digs mature women with degrees in hose, she says annulment is possible but the only achievement in my life was bagging a hot rich, farmgirl wife with big green eyes and a Venus-like body and Will punished himself into exile. I wish this part were not true. But no one will tell me if the pain will even end so even using Bayesian techniques, all indications are that logic now fails me entirely except with the rules of math and syntax and sin tax for my cannabis and huge life-like tits. Tell me somebody that I did something good or that I was hot like um androgynously and that's a hard word to spell and then take. But Janey's mostly Juliette and she's nuts too or is it Sean Young, well she's even more out there than Janey and talk about a man-worshiper of James Woods and Sean, I mean it's a compliment but you can't just tell everybody in Newsweek. XX's are discreet. No chicks will make fun of this. They will all pity me and brush my hair except the lady prosecutor who is in love with Lisa too.
It's the ghosting and the gaslighting together that drive someone with DID ever nuttier than ever. Do I even exist anymore? If guys like me then I must because if we have to wait for normal XX's I mean, that just can't stomach that I am a lesbian with like a tiny one because they say it makes them think of being in bed with a little boy and none of my guy friends have ever said that to me.<smirks> I want to be like Violet as she's my favorite super hero cause she's young and fast and hides behind her hair like I want to and will again someday.
KCMB, you broke my heart and so did Zoe so I give up trying to match younger flirts. I don't have the right er stuff but you both look adorable to me and I am confused sexually so forgive me for being young and and soprano. All of the ones in the black dress I love because I am so vulnerable and so classy looking and those were all taken just outside the courtroom of my trial vel non as they say. I pick out this outfit a year ago so it is so adorable and classy and sleeveless but yes, female lawyer-wear and I skunk my X that day in terms of outfit but then they next day she wore our dress, the one that got me to worship her and her big bald male lawyer tried to shield her so I couldn't see so I just moved to where I could see Lisa's pumps and it made almost going to jail worth it. Lisa, please call off the feds and please don't believe what i said about you deserving better but alas, with his angular dopey face and carefully trimmed beard--I mean he's not bad in front in terms of recession but has a full on bald spot in back and the forbidden thrills me and at least if I can be present then maybe I could pitch in and help around the house again, some if I promise to be really good Will again. I still haven't eaten today so I will be so petite for court next time, nobody will think Janey could ever be anything except on her knees for Lisa and Janey means that without rancor or anger or resentment because i am like a child and I don't understand revenge or why it was wrong for you to smack me around so much and then not tell anyone but now I am an abuse survivor they tell me and yes, without the ability to speak up or tell anyone because when Lisa hits you, it means you are hers and biting, scratching, spitting, hissing's just her way of dealing with her own loss of maidenhead and no, he didn't ask permission honey, I know and we cried so many nights about that, about how he hurt you and took something from you that I deeply want too cause when guys just take it and don't ask, it remove free will and guilt from it even if Janey dresses like a sl*t with harlot makeup here. At least assault is inevitable and you learn to like it and then love it and I promised never to put you Lisa in an institution but you said you would place me in a good one and then you didn't and I was on the streets and then you forgot me or that you had all of the accounts and the house and the money and the health insurance and I lost everything, my friends, in one day. It was spectacular in terms of defeat. Thomas Hardy in the Mayor of Casterbridge was my guide to creating all of this from disorder to syndrome to high falutin lawyer whatever falutin is but I let's say unappreciative and lazy and entitled and spoiled and I had to be the best trophy wife and Will collapse from failure when Lisa hired me a maid because, I still needed to pretend to clean my house and the new maid didn't like my little maid outfit and quit and then Lisa asked why and Will shrugged. I mean what was I supposed to say? "I'm the maid and nobody doesn't clean or cleans it but Lisa but we don't hire out".
Oh and I am sorry for not telling everybody I was crazy from the start but I figured I was just one of many but yes, I post pics and have mirrors and I am in fact the fairest 57 year old boy/gurl? And then Zoey shows up and she had like no hair at all and rampant dermatitis, my thing and she weighed 300 pounds and I only went from one 190 to 122 but Zoey lost one hundred pounds and when from a tall guy to a beautiful one so she now wears the crown for oldest and most attractive used to be ugly and bald award. I only shed to baldness and had an incipient bald spot to go with my hobo-like hair. Zoey had none at all so let her be the spokesman or spokestranny. Being the queen of the over 55 crown can be an adventure and a burden but it ends so fast like childhood but just look at Will with his his heroin addict friend with the biggest white behind on the planet and she says all men love it and not scrawny white ***. But what about like being fit and petite on the bottom. Chick said i just know that they don't need to look you in the eye but I didn't even tell her that for me, her bottom was just too big and I only pretended that I smoked H since all sixty other females in the group did but I at least still had some of my teeth but Will was ghastly and running on fumes. But they did all tell me how to score the best H in town and the trick is using the obits and finding the dealer that the last dead girl od'ed on. It's always unusually pure and that's how you kill yourself cause you didn't mean to and at least if you sleep in a sleeping bag downtown, another of us rolls you and then maybe a few hours later when they have a chance, mention to the cops, hey there's a dead white girl with a black purse and then the cops all come running since white girls are the elite of society but if they undress me and see tranny then they just poke me with a stick and leave me rot till the stinks too bad and if I die along at home, the raccoon in my attic might get me but maybe they are vegetarians. Not sure about rats and yes, this is all satire except being shut away in a drug treatment center since they just assume, tranny and meth or tranny and H or tranny and poppers and I have never popped a popper in my life since I just take it like a er man and never complain cause that's the one time men like to talk and Janey finally f*****g shuts her Goddess-damn mouth or opens wide wide cause her mouths really small for a female.
I am Janey and as the section calls for, This is Janey's Story and Satire. I swear to Goddess. Don't ban me cause then I ban Janey and existence is an iffy thing since Will's pretty much been comatose since 2012<smiles nervously> Please don't tell and for PlZ, don't look at my pics but my soul. You are too young to be on here not because of the sex and coarse language but because of the loser mentality. Don't spend you youth getting sucked up into this. You are a nice Christian boy and my mother would just adore you even if you do go bald. Margaret Jane Elizabeth says "women just lovvvve bald guys"<shudders> but maybe Janey agrees with her now because a bald Man is worth 100 half-bald boys since he works and has responsibilities and can make you feel safe. That's what women need and Janey's no different from your average white chick only just a little bit hotter and that's my line and that's what sayeth my beloved mirrors.
Janey Elizabeth L.
