hair loss hurts THE MOST in your thirties

[sheraz1392]

It sucks when you work so hard for things, and you get them, and you think that you can get whatever you want if you fight for it. But hairloss doesn't work like that. It will destroy your youth and there is not much you can do about it, besides trying to conceal it a bit.

This is so true!

 

[VeprSuper]

Fred speaks truth. There ARE things you can do to minimize the effects.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Hello Fred I understand that your big day is fast approaching and I was wondering what special preparations has Dr. De Reys recommended(if any at all)? Will you be continuing with your current regimen up to and/or after your FUE surgery? Also have you thought about utilizing PRP treatment in conjunction with your FUE, if this is even an option or interest to you? Thanx.

 

[maher]

..so, you'll really go thru with this. Or you gonna pussy out for 4th time...

 

[swingline747]

I feel so related to what you said there kingdomforhair. Apart from hair loss, my life is so good, so much better than what I ever dreamed of. I have a great job, working from home and earning more than twice the average salary in my area. I also play football semi-professionally, and live in a beautiful apartment in a high-class neighbourhood. You could just hear all that and assume I'm such a winner, that all my hard work really paid off. And I'm only 29.

But I'm a Norwood V, almost VI, and that really makes me such a loser. I'm one of those guys who are really confident, before hair loss hit me badly a couple years ago, I didn't care about it, I thought only insecure people could care about that. And since dating hot girls was part of my life just like eating bread is, I never thought that was going to be taken away from me. But it happened, and at around 27 I practically said goodbye to dating women in their 20s-30s.

At first, since I didn't think baldness was an issue, I just went on with my life. But I started to see that no matter how many phone numbers I had, how many women I met, it was so hard for me to take them out. After six months of rejections and after only dating a couple of them, I started to think that maybe something was different about me. And then I realized it: my issue was that I didn't have my hair. I googled and I discovered that there were hundreds of support forums, that my problem was real.

Let me tell you a story. At a moment in my life when I had hair but was losing it at an alarming rate, I was about to dump a girl because things were not working out, and a friend who was bald and in his 40s --bald since he was 18--, told me: 'you know... You shouldn't dump her. When you lose your hair you won't meet anyone like her'. I said "nah. That's not true. Women don't care about that". He said "well... it's much harder without hair". I said "whatever".

Now, he wasn't right about not dumping the girl, because I can't be with a person that I don't love. But time proved him right about the difficulties one faces without hair. The truth is that only bald people know about the rejections, because they are silent. People with hair always think, or want to think that it's not a big issue. But it is. Even if you don't think it is like I did, society will let you know sooner or later that you have a problem.

It sucks when you work so hard for things, and you get them, and you think that you can get whatever you want if you fight for it. But hairloss doesn't work like that. It will destroy your youth and there is not much you can do about it, besides trying to conceal it a bit. If not, look at those famous people wearing systems, or paying hundreds of thousands of dollars just to recover a few hairs. Why would they do it if they seem to have everything? Well, because they don't.

I have way too many friends my age who are a bunch of losers, still living with their parents and with definitely no future ahead or motivations whatsoever. Some of them don't even go the gym, not even to try to lose a few pounds. Some of them are all day depressed because their lives suck for the most part. But they have hair, and the truth is that their lives are so much better than mine. They can date, they meet women every week, even when most of them can't even talk to women without panicking. But it's nature, some women are attracted to them physically, something I have not felt for 2 years. There are days where I wish I could just trade everything that I have, everything that I earned after years of sacrifice, just to have the normal life adults in their 20s have. Just to see again that look in a woman's eye when she wants you.

Seriously this is my story. Now instead of friends pretend its your brother only 2 years younger with a nw1 and dating hot 20 year olds while your with a girl 10 years older who keeps getting fatter.

If I still had my hair me and him would still be dating the same hot girls but I wasted most of my youth with school and work just to end up trapped and balding. Someone please kill me , I'll leave my entire will to you

 

[uncomfortable man]

@ bald29, when I first came to this site to share my story (already bald), I was met with alot of resistance. People didn't want to believe me, that people can be so cruel and that life can be like this. Basically everything you told your bald friend I had to hear here from guys with nw2s who would try and discredit or downplay the very real effects of hair loss. So it does my pain good to see that I'm not alone and more importantly, not crazy.

This is an opportunity I can't pass up because it's not very often we get someone who has been on both sides of the fence and can attest to the reality out there for us bald guys. Doubter turned believer, ah the power of hairloss.

 

[I.D WALKER]

You're in capable hands. Good luck.

Dr. De Reys, he was the lead surgeon of the prohairclinic in Antwerp before.

Thank you .

 

[bald29]

@ bald29, when I first came to this site to share my story (already bald), I was met with alot of resistance. People didn't want to believe me, that people can be so cruel and that life can be like this. Basically everything you told your bald friend I had to hear here from guys with nw2s who would try and discredit or downplay the very real effects of hair loss. So it does my pain good to see that I'm not alone and more importantly, not crazy.

This is an opportunity I can't pass up because it's not very often we get someone who has been on both sides of the fence and can attest to the reality out there for us bald guys. Doubter turned believer, ah the power of hairloss.

Yeah But the truth is that no one with hair would believe you. When you have hair, you think it's not such a big deal, even though it's basically everything in your appearance. If you try to convince guys with NW2 about that, they won't listen to you. I always tell my friends who are going bald 'do whatever you can to keep your hair, or you will regret it' and they are also like 'whatever. It's just hair, nobody cares'... I feel so sorry for their ignorance.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yeah But the truth is that no one with hair would believe you. When you have hair, you think it's not such a big deal, even though it's basically everything in your appearance. If you try to convince guys with NW2 about that, they won't listen to you. I always tell my friends who are going bald 'do whatever you can to keep your hair, or you will regret it' and they are also like 'whatever. It's just hair, nobody cares'... I feel so sorry for their ignorance.

That is because hair acts like a social security blanket that they take for granted. But many guys aren't beneath purposefully flaunting their hair in front of me to piss me off. You have to experience it to fully understand how all it's implications impact every aspect of your life and how quickly it all compounds...

 

[c_super2]

Yeah But the truth is that no one with hair would believe you. When you have hair, you think it's not such a big deal, even though it's basically everything in your appearance. If you try to convince guys with NW2 about that, they won't listen to you. I always tell my friends who are going bald 'do whatever you can to keep your hair, or you will regret it' and they are also like 'whatever. It's just hair, nobody cares'... I feel so sorry for their ignorance.

That happened to me. Once you hit a NW3 it hurts and you lose value.

 

[monitoradiation]

I studied a lot during university to the detriment of my social life (plus my faculty has like 10% girls) and thought I'd get to focus on girls after I graduated and found a decent job. Apparently my life had a different plan for my social life. I started noticing thinning during a trip when I was 23 years old right after graduation and was devastated and afraid of leaving the house for basically 4 subsequent years. I'm 31 this year and I've slowed its progression down by who knows how much - It hasn't moved drastically. Hopefully it'll hold still for another decade... But there's not one day that goes by where I wished that it never happened to me or that I was just going gray instead. At least I could've dyed it.

And no matter how well I'm doing at work I can't shake the feeling of being defeated and that it's all for naught anyway. All the ambition has gone out the window and I'm basically a pale shadow of my former self.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I dont think it's a matter of not living life to the fullest -- it's a matter of underestimating the importance of the skill required to pick up women. It is also the fault of society, young industrious men are not being made aware of and taught this important skill. So in the end we get jocks and art majors making babies, and the highly skilled men being incel or having to settle for subprime women.

 

[monitoradiation]

I heard this BS from a lot of guys at university, especially in very difficult majors like engineering: "I know it's tough now and I have to sacrifice my social life, but when I graduate, I'll earn a lot of money and the girls will come!"

Don't get me wrong. I was barely interested in girls in highschool and uni and that's not because I wasn't sociable. I still went out a lot but studying definitely took its toll on the social life. What I meant was that the focus was never on girls back then since I found it more rational to get my life all in order before I seriously considered anything since things drastically change for both parties after graduation (moving away, new jobs, new circle of friends etc.).

I balanced on the side of studying over socializing if it meant that I missed getting smashed at a friend's place for getting 100% on my mid-terms, that's all. I probably missed out on lots of fun and hangovers, but that's the decision I made. I just didn't think that the hair issue would come in right after graduation.

And now that it is, girls are pretty much the last thing on my priorities list.

 

[Not_Bruce_Willis]

I have a young face. Many guessed, up until perhaps last year, that I was under 25, when I'm really 31. I'm not terribly obese, but I've always tended to get chubby. Even when at my best shape (I was walking on weeklong mountian-hikes) I still had some padding. Some girls has complimented me about my hair in the past, and I have felt the bitter sting of knowing that it wasn't gonna last. Now it's on the point where it looks ridiculous when I style it, and pathetic when it's sagging down my face. I know the old saying "get ripped" but that is not within my interest. Getting ripped is a lifestyle that require you to spend your spare-time in the gym, lifting stuff. I prefer mountain-hiking, and some sports. Even fit, I would look like a baby-faced twat without hair. The irony is that it makes me feel like an old man. I can't give up and wait for the reaper, but I f*****g loathe my reflection. I know I've written emo-garbage, but man, this is depressing stuff. If somebody understate hairloss, ask them if they want to have the worst possible haircut for the rest of their lives. A shaved nut won't soothe everybody. It should be OK to feel depressed, but I hope to overcome it. Hopefully, I can find a way to relax about my appearance and stop feeling like I'm naked in public.

 

[Not_Bruce_Willis]

lol, yeah balding in your thirties is way worse than balding at 18.

The things that fat ****s write these days without thinking.

Worse is clearly an overstatement, but I must say that balding in my early thirties gives the gloomy feeling of "yeah, I'm old." I'm not a very young man (31), but I feel like I'm fifty. My youth is over; get ready for the horny, divorced 40 years old women. I feel like I should go to piano bars and become a desperate husk (like the ones in the Billy Joel song). Tho, balding in the early twenties makes you stand out more, I know bald people in their mid twenties who I think soothes their baldness. I don't think everyone soothes it, but some do. Cross your fingers!

 

[HankPentagon]

Interesting topic

If baldness is interfering with your goals it is just as bad at 40

Most guys tend to think that the magnitude of pain caused by hair loss is closely related to how old the sufferer is.

They are right.

An 80 year old man should not care about being bald.

What I disagree with is the way the pain of 30-something men is discounted.

The thirties are the years you can still look good if you look after yourself, protect your skin from damage and yes, keep your hair.

The thirties are also the years when perception of age starts to matter. You'll always look young in your early-twenties, even if you go bald. In your thirties you have to start making an effort, and you have to hope you have favourable genetics, particularly with hair and skin.

In their thirties: Looking older or younger by only a few years can make or break a man, socially and especially romantically. A 35 year old man who looks 25 is still hot, in demand, young, virile, not so is the 35 year old man who looks older than his age, say by only a few years. Looking older than 35-36 is a big barrier to pass (the start of middle age). It changes how people see you. You are no longer considered "young".Notice how I said "look", a 29 yo. bald man who spends all day in the sun who looks 40 is in the same boat.

I remember reading a Daily Mail article recently about Ryan Phillippe. The actor.They showed him exercising with his shirt off and in various poses. All the girls said he was hot. Many of the girls talked about how they would still date him, despite him being "ten years older than themselves", because "he still looked young" (he is 38 - full head of hair, nice skin, fit). That's women expect when they talk about attractive older men, those men still have to look young and hot. Unless you are really rich, which is beyond the scope of 99% of men to achieve, you'll never get away with being a bald, unfit 30-something who still wants to date cute 20-something women.

I've noticed that all the Hollywood actors who look good in their thirties have this trio: good skin, good hair, lean body. Almost without exception. The good news is body composition and skin are largely in your control. Hair not so for many of us.


I've found a new level of respect for older posters here. I've realized how quickly time passes, and that I too will be 30-something before I know it. I feel for you lot, having your youth taken away from you prematurely, the dream of being THAT hot 30-something man with his **** together gone. Knowing now you'll never be the leading man, like Richard Gere, HOT, & successful, now you can only be successful, now women will only date you for your money or status, never who you are.


Face it, we live in a youth obsessed world. There are studies showing that age discrimination begins, in the workforce, as early as 40. If you think that at 23 losing your hair is bad, you've only just begun to see the repercussions of this disease. I know many of you are against ageism but, youth = value and bald men don't look young. Society says so and there's nothing we can do to change it.

My rant for today, sorry for the semi-lengthy post, I just had to get something off my chest. I get really peeved seeing these "full-package" older men I aspire to be when I might not have the chance to emulate them, thanks to something out of my control. I don't want to resort to gold diggers. I want to be handsome AND successful. Not just successful.

 

[Rudiger]

This topic would be minced for tacos if it was made today. And understandably so.

I guess the only thing I can sort of relate to on this topic is thinking somewhat philosophically, as in your can only live in your moment, if baldness is happening to you then it sucks, regardless of age. But that's still bullshit. At least if you had a normal youth, at 30 and balding you have memories to look back on, pictures, joyful experiences not crushed by paranoia of hair loss, ex girlfriends, possible current girlfriend you're holding on to from full head days. Etc

I wasn't bald at 20 but I could guess at how bad at is (I have before) but I could tell you at age 30 now, I would not have the aforementioned experiences above. In fact I probably would have little experiences, pictures I don't want to see, those few experiences that I would have being crushed by the idea of pictures being taken. If there would have been ex's, then they would be way below what I was used to in my teens, leaving me bottling up my frustration with them, while trying to desperately hold on to them.

That is some difference.

Even if a young guy is of the attitude he'll certainly be bald by 30 "anyway", don't make this an excuse for not maintaining as much as possible in the mean time.

Being 30 and having nothing to look back on is even worse than having shitty 30's.