Hairloss - affecting my career

[uncomfortable man]

I've been actively seeking employment for the last six months. The state of the economy, my age combined with my limited work experience has made finding a job difficult...to say the least. But not once have I attributed my lack of success to being bald, not once.
So last week I saw a job opportunity on Craig'slist for an internship at a cannibus club opening up in my neighborhood. I sent them an e-mail and the very next day I got a call back. I went to the club and spoke with the owner. After a good long conversation, he decided to take me on. I was so excited! Since then I've been busting my *** to prove myself. Whatever they wanted done I was there with a smile, because for the first time in a while I was actually hopeful. Yesterday I met everyone else on the team. We went out for coffee and had a meeting, introducing ourselves, filling out applications and getting the basic rundown on how things worked. The rest of the day was spent clipping, weighing, packing and labeling "product", all the while making friendly conversation with my coworkers (two of which were young women). I didn't let my hairloss get in the way of anything. I was positive, upbeat and as helpful as I could be. So when I got to work this morning, the boss took me aside and told me things weren't going to work out. When I asked him why, the only thing he could tell me was he had a "gut feeling". I tried to get him to elaborate but all he could give me were vague BS answers like he couldn't see me fitting into the team dynamic. He paid me for my time and I left.
There wasn't anything I said or did that warranted my being "let go", and from the little he told me I interpreted the real reason was that the females in the group felt uncomfortable around me despite my being as friendly and personable as possible. This experience has been very discouraging to me and the only reason I can find is because these young girls felt uncomfortable working with me because of my appearance. It is so unfair because I gave it my best shot and didn't f*** up even once.
When I hear Oknow blaming little vellous hairs in the corner of his temples for why he can't get a job, I just want to go bonkers! To 99% of the population, he has a full head of hair. He just doesn't realize how lucky he is and it makes me furious! Go and get your f*****g job Oknow and stop trippin and being over-critical about something that only you notice. I am going to keep looking for work, but I want you to realize that if I had your head of hair, people (employers) would be so much more receptive to me. AAAARRRGGG!!!!

 

[Nene]

I doubt UC man didn't get the job b/c of his appearance or hair loss. As for you dudemon, getting a job is scary in these times but you'll be in the job market with a new degree so you'll be in a much better position.

 

[Oknow]

Just to you let you guys know, got my final degree mark back, achieved a top mark.

Still hairloss is a b**ch.

 

[GeminiX]

Just to you let you guys know, got my final degree mark back, achieved a top mark.

Still hairloss is a b**ch.

Congratulations; first with hons?

 

[Oknow]

Just to you let you guys know, got my final degree mark back, achieved a top mark.

Still hairloss is a b**ch.

Congratulations; first with hons?

Yeah.

 

[Oknow]

Not sure what all that means. It must be a Brit thing. :dunno:

But anyways, congrats to you!! :bravo:
You may still have a shot at that job. Perhaps you aren't too late? Give it a try! As far as the hair, you have a VERY long way to go til you get to a severe stage of hairloss. Go out and have a good time!

Just think about giving the meds a try. You have nothing to lose (but your hair) no pun intended...

If they cause you problems then stop using them. As long as you stop, you probably won't having any lasting side effets, if you do get any at all.

Thanks dudemon. A first is a top mark and with it I should be able to get into large companies.

I took up the job offer, one thing that drives me is my ambition. If I do bald, I rather bald and be successful, then bald and be stuck in a terrible rut. At least that way, people will respect me for my ambition, if not my hair. Both realities suck, but I think the first one is better. Also, even with hair, I just dont want to be one of those guys who get stuck on a sh*t wage for 30 years - as much as I think money is just paper,it buys you a good living standard.

I was with my family last night, looks like I was wrong many of my uncles have temple/hairline recession - just that it isnt severe and they comb it cleverly. So hard to predict where my hair is going right now, but as you say I am in the early stages of loss. Meds tempted by them, worried it might accelerate things - that is my only worry tbh.

 

[GeminiX]

I'm sure you're making the right decision in moving ahead with you career, we live in a very material world; money can make life remarkably pleasant.

I was shopping for a new car yesterday and took a close friend with me; we were trying to decide what the people in the various car showrooms thought when we came in (I'm 5'10, Claire is 5'2), in none of the show rooms were we treated as anything other than royalty but I can't help wonder what they were actually thinking.

edit: Not sure if I made a point there, rambled a bit. In a nutshell if you're successful people tend to treat you extremely well, and sometimes we can use something negative about ourselves to make us interesting and successful.

 

[Oknow]

I'm sure you're making the right decision in moving ahead with you career, we live in a very material world; money can make life remarkably pleasant.

I was shopping for a new car yesterday and took a close friend with me; we were trying to decide what the people in the various car showrooms thought when we came in (I'm 5'10, Claire is 5'2), in none of the show rooms were we treated as anything other than royalty but I can't help wonder what they were actually thinking.

edit: Not sure if I made a point there, rambled a bit. In a nutshell if you're successful people tend to treat you extremely well, and sometimes we can use something negative about ourselves to make us interesting and successful.

Yeah I know what you mean. Before getting my degree I was treated like the underdog. Only a few months back a guy on my course was like "You are not going to get the first; you will get a 2.2"....Had many many doubters, now I have got it, they have all pretty much shut the fu** up, and I wont be surprised if some of them started to kiss my *** because they may think I can get them places.

Similarly, when I was spending so much time studying, I had people saying "Come party with us, you geek" -- again, now they have shut the f*ck up as in contrast they have ended up with a 2.2. I will now overtake these people by going into a corporate company,and make a lot of money in the process.

It the harsh reality of the world, hair or no hair. People are always competing with one another thats fundamentally problem, there is not a love in the world. So all you can do is do the best with the cards you have been dealt, because people come and go, and when they go you need everything at your disposal to keep on moving forward.

You gotta think long term,problem is people always think short term.

 

[qball01]

I've been actively seeking employment for the last six months. The state of the economy, my age combined with my limited work experience has made finding a job difficult...to say the least. But not once have I attributed my lack of success to being bald, not once.
So last week I saw a job opportunity on Craig'slist for an internship at a cannibus club opening up in my neighborhood. I sent them an e-mail and the very next day I got a call back. I went to the club and spoke with the owner. After a good long conversation, he decided to take me on. I was so excited! Since then I've been busting my *** to prove myself. Whatever they wanted done I was there with a smile, because for the first time in a while I was actually hopeful. Yesterday I met everyone else on the team. We went out for coffee and had a meeting, introducing ourselves, filling out applications and getting the basic rundown on how things worked. The rest of the day was spent clipping, weighing, packing and labeling "product", all the while making friendly conversation with my coworkers (two of which were young women). I didn't let my hairloss get in the way of anything. I was positive, upbeat and as helpful as I could be. So when I got to work this morning, the boss took me aside and told me things weren't going to work out. When I asked him why, the only thing he could tell me was he had a "gut feeling". I tried to get him to elaborate but all he could give me were vague BS answers like he couldn't see me fitting into the team dynamic. He paid me for my time and I left.
There wasn't anything I said or did that warranted my being "let go", and from the little he told me I interpreted the real reason was that the females in the group felt uncomfortable around me despite my being as friendly and personable as possible. This experience has been very discouraging to me and the only reason I can find is because these young girls felt uncomfortable working with me because of my appearance. It is so unfair because I gave it my best shot and didn't f*ck up even once.
When I hear Oknow blaming little vellous hairs in the corner of his temples for why he can't get a job, I just want to go bonkers! To 99% of the population, he has a full head of hair. He just doesn't realize how lucky he is and it makes me furious! Go and get your f****ing job Oknow and stop trippin and being over-critical about something that only you notice. I am going to keep looking for work, but I want you to realize that if I had your head of hair, people (employers) would be so much more receptive to me. AAAARRRGGG!!!!

2 things.

Firstly, sucks about the job, sorry to hear about being let go because it sounds like a cool job and would've been really good for you. In fairness...I think you should go back, talk to the owner, and demand a brutally honest answer. Tell him you were willing to do whatever it took, you were relying on the job, and feel very let down...the least he could do is be straight with you...even if the eventual answer is one that will hurt your feelings and affirm your suspicion.

But the point is...until/unless you know for sure....you're still making conclusions based on unknowns, and thats what is killing you. You have no clue why you were let go. Maybe you weren't as "nice and receptive" as you think you were. Maybe you gave off a weird vibe despite your contentions otherwise. Maybe you're right about why you were fired (as callous as it would be) but the point is...you don't KNOW. Unless you know for sure...you're just wracking your brain about sh*t that you can never prove for sure...but still coming to conclusions that suit your own negative world view.

Secondly...since the job was at a cannabis place...I'm assuming you're a recreational pot smoker? I am too...use it way too much unfortunately. But I would definitely say that as somebody who is prone to anxiety and negative thinking, much like you are....it does me more harm than good (despite my continual usage). In fact...I notice that when my thoughts are at their most paranoid and negative...its when I'm high. When I get debilitating thoughts about my hairloss and my appearance...I'm usually high. When I look at myself in the mirror and dislike what I see...I'm usually high. And I definitely think it carries over into the next day so even when I'm not high, I'm experiencing residual affects.

Just something to think about, in case you do smoke frequently. I really think it affects my negative thinking a LOT. To me, there is no doubt it makes me think in really paranoid and deluded ways and makes my mind race at a 100 mph about useless sh*t. I gotta give it up soon. Not trying to say you should quit cold turkey (if indeed you do smoke a lot) but at least consider how it can attribute to negative thoughts. Ironically, it definitely helps "escape" from a negative reality as well which is why I guess I do it...but I think it also helps create my negative reality in the first place by pervading my thoughts.

 

[eth0]

Not sure what all that means. It must be a Brit thing. :dunno:

Really? It's a globally recognised qualification.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor's_degree

 

[Boondock]

Congrats Oknow. You've done nicely. I know how hard it is to get a First with this sh*t going on.

Dudemon, it's a Brit/colonial thing I think. A First Class probably corresponds to a 3.6+, or thereabouts. It's the top classification you can get.