Has Anyone Got A Platonic Female Friend?

[Exodus2011]

The story he posted is from a decade ago. In general it's somewhat easier to meet women in the American college scene, or at least was back in the day it might be different now in the tinder era. During college you are constantly meeting new people all of the time, and also a lot of women are genuinely unaware of what they want and what they can have.

yea its just ideal made himself out to be some amazingly ugly dude, i think he said judged himself a 2 or 3 before surgery, and this time frame would place him then.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

yea its just ideal made himself out to be some amazingly ugly dude, i think he said judged himself a 2 or 3 before surgery, and this time frame would place him then.

And a 2 or 3 might still occasionally get a woman given factors such as luck, persistence, etc.

 

[rclark]

yea but thats only because of mental illness, altho on the surface it seems like i'm a volcel. i was diagnosed with anxiety its not just mental masturbation. i have literally at least 3-4/10 anxiety every f*****g second i'm talking to a girl even online. just lol. also obsessing over if i'm being awkward or not, and literally even getting red faced and blushing (this is just from talking online lolz).

You need to smoke some weed.

 

[Exodus2011]

And a 2 or 3 might still occasionally get a woman given factors such as luck, persistence, etc.

[coping intensifies]

Lol what can i say though look at eggman

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

How about this guy getting a girlfriend while he was in jail?

 

[Rudiger]

I do have different platonic female friends, or varying "closeness", including one who's like one of my best friends. With more casual female friends I find it's important to keep some form of a distance (unless they're single and somewhat attractive then usually obviously I don't care about keeping them as friends, there can be mitigating circumstances though). For example a female friend that I get on with well, I know I could talk to her a lot but I try and chill on this, if texting it'll only be for specific things we've discussed or maybe upcoming plans, never just a general random texting session about nothing. I've had it where we end up texting back and forth for like a whole evening, and then it's like, this is similar to how I'd text someone I'm seeing? Is this crossing a line to that sort of territory?

And that grey area is not nice actually. I think everyone apart from gigaChad has been friendzoned at least once in their life, and it's a confusing and unsettling feeling, definitely even worse than an outright rejection. It's because it's just a lingering doubt that you have no clarity on, and making that move outside of the "friendship" you have is just so cringe, and you're becoming aware "damn, she probably finds it hilarious we've just been chatting casually about nothing and now she knows in my mind it was all leading up to something, when it isn't".

Well, that's the circumstance I think a lot of guys on here can relate to, the other "circumstance" is when she has a boyfriend, or something like you've been with one of her friends before, or she's been with one of yours, a huge age gap, or just something that makes it wrong.

With that, developing sexual tension is pretty awful too (not as awful as the friendzone however) and you find yourselves un-intentionally flirting, stealing looks at each other, and it's exciting in a way but also kinda gut-wrenching because nothing's actually happening and you feel a bit stupid getting all giddy about it. You can sort of tell she's feeling the same way, it just feels so childish but you can't help it.

 

[whatintheworld]

Sure I do, the ones I'm not trying to sleep with.

I recommend everyone here to get some. In particular, when going out with female friends, your social proof shoots up a lot, and it makes approaching the ones you are interested in a lot easier.

 

[blackg]

I'm starting to change my mind on whether men and women can ever just be friends. I know this will sound superbly beta but all the close female friends I've spend time with in the past I found attractive. The only reason I didn't make a move was because they had a partner or because they didn't seem to find me attractive back.

I'm starting to question the whole male and female friendship dynamic. I've noticed a few female friends at work occasionally tease me slightly (in a joking way) but I'm not sure if its a test of whether its flirting. Either way I'm growing tired of it and looking to distance myself from unclear relationships (so basically just have friends or a partner but if there is any tests or flirting with a friend then avoid!).'

Apparently the term for a guy who is 'friends' with a woman he is attracted to is a male orbiter (or beta orbiter). Just thinking about that term makes me cringe. It's pretty tragic that I hung out with these women I was attracted to just because I hoped they'd suddenly fancy me.


I also just read this online and it has really got me thinking:


I think its important for women to understand that the true nature of relations between men and women is basically sex. Sex is pretty much the driving force behind pretty much everything we do, including when a woman uses you for ego. But it's inequitable, the woman uses an orbiter for gratification and this enables her to more confidently reach for the alphas who she hopes will help her carry forth healthy offspring.



So what do you all think? Can men and women ever just be friends?

And also, has anyone had the same experience as me where you find a female friend attractive but you don't make a move?

(And I know this isn't directly hair loss related - but I know a lot of you guys also have low esteem (hair loss never helps) like me and that these male orbiter relationships are likely.)

Don't opologise for sounding beta. That's your first mistake.
This is what I'm talking about when I say that members of this board constantly adjust their language to please the so-called alpha members.

These alpha members of HairLossTalk.com simply don't exist.
It's facade put on by some members because they are very uncertain of their masculinity.
Their own fathers probably have a bit to do with instilling this attitude.

Now, about the subject at hand;
I don't mind what you do with your female acquaitances or work colleagues..
Just don't molest them like half of the men in Hollywood are doing.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

And that grey area is not nice actually. I think everyone apart from gigaChad has been friendzoned at least once in their life, and it's a confusing and unsettling feeling, definitely even worse than an outright rejection. It's because it's just a lingering doubt that you have no clarity on, and making that move outside of the "friendship" you have is just so cringe, and you're becoming aware "damn, she probably finds it hilarious we've just been chatting casually about nothing and now she knows in my mind it was all leading up to something, when it isn't".

And this is one of my points: if we are friendzoned we should cut off contact with them.

My feelings are that if you are attracted to a woman and they do not reciprocate the feeling then you will end up in far more emotional anguish just by hanging around. Just by hanging around it reduces you to the male orbiter role - and the 'friend' gets the validation for being wanted - and yet the orbiter ends up with nothing.

In short: if you find a 'friend' attractive then you can never have a healthy friendship with them.

 

[JeanLucBB]

And this is one of my points: if we are friendzoned we should cut off contact with them.

My feelings are that if you are attracted to a woman and they do not reciprocate the feeling then you will end up in far more emotional anguish just by hanging around. Just by hanging around it reduces you to the male orbiter role - and the 'friend' gets the validation for being wanted - and yet the orbiter ends up with nothing.

In short: if you find a 'friend' attractive then you can never have a healthy friendship with them.

Accurate. It will never be a balanced relationship.

 

[rclark]

And a 2 or 3 might still occasionally get a woman given factors such as luck, persistence, etc.

And money, or a position of power and authority. Especially the latter.

 

[Saurabhaj]

Female friends are worthless.

Female friendship is one of the top reasons who are helping guys (guys with no superficial flaw) to get girlfriend or wife.(from their college or friend circle/family circle)

My elder cousin brother has married a girl who was his facebook female friend's sister.
She made all the settings to make his proposal successful in front of her and her family. (love+arrange marriage).

Girls will happily help guy friend to find some girl if the guy is likable and possess qualities that are of boyfriend/ marriage material.

Female friends can be more helpful than tinder or okcupid or matrimonial websites if guy ticks all boxes that girl wants.

 

[Stanx22]

Female friendship is one of the top reasons who are helping guys (guys with no superficial flaw) to get girlfriend or wife.(from their college or friend circle/family circle)

My elder cousin brother has married a girl who was his facebook female friend's sister.
She made all the settings to make his proposal successful in front of her and her family. (love+arrange marriage).

Girls will happily help guy friend to find some girl if the guy is likable and possess qualities that are of boyfriend/ marriage material.

Female friends can be more helpful than tinder or okcupid or matrimonial websites if guy ticks all boxes that girl wants.

You Indians are too positive no matter what happens.

 

[CaptainForehead]

You Indians are too positive no matter what happens.

You haven't met Karen have you.

 

[Stanx22]

You haven't met Karen have you.

No, who's Karen ?

 

[CaptainForehead]

No, who's Karen ?

One batshit crazy Indian on this forum.

 

[CaptainForehead]

her and I

She and I

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Something weird happened last night.

The 'friend' I'm attracted to came out with us last night (not invited by me). I've been flirting with a new woman (not the 'friend') for a few days now and I'm thinking about making a move soon. For some reason my 'friend' decided tonight she was going to touch my knee, hug me, kiss me on the cheek, push herself against me, grab my hand etc (all but kiss).

I actually thought she'd decided she liked me and I was pretty happy with this. The other girl who I also find very attractive ended up leaving (not sure if it was because my 'friend' was grabbing me etc). Sadly, when me and the 'friend' had a moment alone and I went for a kiss but she turned her f*****g head. Kissed her on the cheek and didn't make a big thing of it. We ended up dancing and everything later but it was borderline crash and burn.

I'm not sure if my 'friend' who I fancy c*** blocked me on purpose or if they she was just be affectionate.

Anyway - this is why I don't like having friends I find attractive - too much complication and the guy usually loses.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I'm not sure if my 'friend' who I fancy c*** blocked me on purpose

Yes, yes she did.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

You guys are right but I wish you were wrong.