How Did You Deal With The Depression?

[Afro_Vacancy]

Well, it has been over a month since I posted this and my depression has just gotten worse. I'm just going to post my thoughts because they need to go somewhere. Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by people who have a partner. Every date that I go on goes wrong. No matter how well I connect with her, make her laugh etc. it doesn't go anywhere. It has been almost 30 first dates now. I went to an event related to a family engagement and was almost in tears when I got home. I'll never have that for myself and I even felt resentful at the event.

I'm doing well with my career, professional life etc. but I just don't care. All that I ever wanted was a chance to get married and have children. Moreover, it's becoming clear to me that there is no cure to my depression and that things will only get worse, not better, as I age. How do people in this position keep living? I can't understand it. I don't see many people in a position as bad as mine but they can't all be more tough than I am. What keeps them going? There doesn't seem to be any hope for the future or any chance of happiness.

Take a break from dating.

 

[uncomfortable man]

This topic reminds me of an old song from the 80's... Images of heaven, send me to hell.

 

[Christoppp]

Try a mild anti depressant. I know it sucks but believe me. Changed my life in a matter of weeks.

 

[doubleindemnity]

Well, I've hit rock bottom. 3 dates in a week, all of which went well, and they'll all lead nowhere. They all seemed like they'd go somewhere because they all went much better than all of my other dates this year. It seems like everything that I do is wrong. All that I ever wanted in life was to get married and have children. I only pursued money, career, fitness training, studying etc. etc. so that I could do that. I keep telling myself that I'm trying to do something good, and that there are many single women are out there who would be happy to marry a guy like me. But it simply doesn't agree with what I'm observing. I've set a specific time frame for something to go well from dating and my search. If it doesn't, I'm going to begin the process of ending everything. There will be no other rational option. I've concluded with myself that what I stated previously (marriage etc.) really is what I wanted in life. Moreover, the length of the time frame has been chosen in such a way that we can be sure that I gave it a very large effort and was unable to succeed. You simply can't argue with that.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Well, I've hit rock bottom. 3 dates in a week, all of which went well, and they'll all lead nowhere. They all seemed like they'd go somewhere because they all went much better than all of my other dates this year. It seems like everything that I do is wrong. All that I ever wanted in life was to get married and have children. I only pursued money, career, fitness training, studying etc. etc. so that I could do that. I keep telling myself that I'm trying to do something good, and that many single women are out there who would be happy to marry a guy like me. But it simply doesn't agree with what I'm observing. I've set a specific time frame for something to go well from dating and my search. If it doesn't, I'm going to begin the process of ending everything. There will be no other rational option. I've concluded with myself that what I stated previously really is what I wanted in life. Moreover, the length of the time frame has been chosen in such a way that we can be sure that I gave it a very large effort and was unable to succeed. You simply can't argue with that.

I was hoping the same thing for myself but it never happened. I am one of the oldest forum members on here. I am still here regardless. You have to understand there are plenty of couples with children who are miserable because the kids are into drugs and break the law and the couples relationship is a living hell. Being single can be a blessing in disguise.

 

[kj6723]

I was hoping the same thing for myself but it never happened. I am one of the oldest forum members on here. I am still here regardless. You have to understand there are plenty of couples with children who are miserable because the kids are into drugs and break the law and the couples relationship is a living hell. Being single can be a blessing in disguise.

There are definitely upsides to being single. Freedom to do what you want, privacy, saving money. Freedom and lack of responsibility is the big one

The downside obviously being that you are not getting laid(unless you're a Slayer) or enjoying the general intimacy of romantic companionship

Allow yourself to enjoy the upsides at least

 

[LastSamurai]

I quit drugs, cigarettes a couple of years ago. Stopped drinking alcohol six months back although had a few recently, but want to go sober for good now. I can't fathom the effects of alcohol anymore. Not too mention I don't want to look like sh*t when I get older which will only compound the effects of baldness.

I was caught in a cycle of drink and drug bringes on the weekend for way too long in my twenties, and as a result I was continually in a cycle of depression, guilt and feeling like sh*t the entire time. I was anxious when I wasn't depressed. I'm not sure what extent my hairloss was a factor, but it was related.

Nowadays, even though I kicked the chemical highs, I binge on junk food. I sometimes go to massage parlors for kicks. Hell, we need something right ?

I also pretty much consume the internet all day everyday which isn't good, although my job does revolve around it to an extent.

When I'm feeling more positive, I try and do more inspired activities such as jogging, practicing guitar, having a kick about with my friend (playing football in a park), or going to church or something.

There are always positive ways to counter act the depression.

The key, to poorly paraphrase Mark Twain, is to slowly get rid of each bad habit after another until there are none left. Well, maybe I'll keep one at least. I feel I've been doing that over my twenties, and I still have to work to do, but I've stopped doing the things that were causing me to feel really sh*t.

 

[doubleindemnity]

I quit drugs, cigarettes a couple of years ago. Stopped drinking alcohol six months back although had a few recently, but want to go sober for good now. I can't fathom the effects of alcohol anymore. Not too mention I don't want to look like sh*t when I get older which will only compound the effects of baldness.

I was caught in a cycle of drink and drug bringes on the weekend for way too long in my twenties, and as a result I was continually in a cycle of depression, guilt and feeling like sh*t the entire time. I was anxious when I wasn't depressed. I'm not sure what extent my hairloss was a factor, but it was related.

Nowadays, even though I kicked the chemical highs, I binge on junk food. I sometimes go to massage parlors for kicks. Hell, we need something right ?

I also pretty much consume the internet all day everyday which isn't good, although my job does revolve around it to an extent.

When I'm feeling more positive, I try and do more inspired activities such as jogging, practicing guitar, having a kick about with my friend (playing football in a park), or going to church or something.

There are always positive ways to counter act the depression.

The key, to poorly paraphrase Mark Twain, is to slowly get rid of each bad habit after another until there are none left. Well, maybe I'll keep one at least. I feel I've been doing that over my twenties, and I still have to work to do, but I've stopped doing the things that were causing me to feel really sh*t.

Isn't it all transient/temporary/a lie? When I do something productive like learning about business or exercise, I feel good. I know, however, that it's all just temporary and that what would give me proper satisfaction and happiness would be the opportunity to get married and have children. I think that it has really been my main goal in life without my noticing. When you exercise, you feel good because of the dopamine etc. It's almost like drugging yourself..

 

[notificationva]

It is not true that you are a disappointment. It's too bad you think that. You have to focus on the beautiful things in life, which are a lot, but at the moment, you don't give them special attention. And I understand you perfectly. I also felt not good enough. This led me into a severe depression from which we cannot escape. Not even a psychologist helped me. But until the end, I found the right solution, which is more special and maybe it will seem strange to you. But that consisted of spending time with a pet. Yes, a dog helped me overcome my depression. I found out about this method on https://www.esaregistration.org/ and decided to try it. And to my happiness, it was effective. You can try it too.