I Am In Such A Different Place Than I Was One Year Ago.

[buckthorn]

I remember my firsts post here, last feb. I was obsessing about RU, and 15% minoxidil after having lost even more hair from a year on finasteride.

Well, RU didn't work for sh*t. 15% burned and inflamed my scalp. Even dutasteride made my scalp go crazy...Why did I even try this garbage? well, because I rushed into a transplant that failed me horrendously...

is there any point to this? Is some force from the universe trying to tell me to let it be? I don't f*****g know and I don't really f*****g care.

I have a dog now that is the most loving, playful, beautiful thing that you could ever imagine. he buried a piece of 2 x 4" in my couch (I am not converting this for you Euro's)

I play Call Of Duty with my Nephew almost every night through a head set and it's friggin awesome.

I have two or three friends that I see occasionally and my family.

I don't know why I am writing this and I don't know what happened to me, but I am SO APATHETIC about hair loss. I just don't f*****g care and I don't give a f*** about what people think of me.

Women? I don't f*****g care. I really don't. There are three girls that are trying to date me now and I just don't even have the energy.

I don't know if this is good or bad, but I just wanted to say I appreciate all of you and you've helped me a lot.

 

[cocohot]

is there any point to this? Is some force from the universe trying to tell me to let it be? I don't f*****g know and I don't really f*****g care.

I am SO APATHETIC about hair loss. I just don't f*****g care and I don't give a f*** about what people think of me.

Women? I don't f*****g care. I really don't. There are three girls that are trying to date me now and I just don't even have the energy.

Sounds like catatonic depression.

 

[shookwun]

Women? I don't f*****g care. I really don't. There are three girls that are trying to date me now and I just don't even have the energy.

Because you have low self-esteem and have reached a point where you stopped caring.

Eventually you become content, and dont loathe on the idea of always being with someone.


Sometimes it can be bliss, but at times we do want to be with someone.

I wish I could figure out why we feel this way. It gets to a point where you have not been with a women for so long that it becomes alien, and it stops bothering you.


I am at this point right now. I realy don't care about devoting energy to meet someone. Eventually you will snap out if something changes in your life though.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Because you have low self-esteem and have reached a point where you stopped caring.

Eventually you become content, and dont loathe on the idea of always being with someone.


Sometimes it can be bliss, but at times we do want to be with someone.

I wish I could figure out why we feel this way. It gets to a point where you have not been with a women for so long that it becomes alien, and it stops bothering you.


I am at this point right now. I realy don't care about devoting energy to meet someone. Eventually you will snap out if something changes in your life though.

Shook, you kind of answered your own question on "why we feel this way". The energy it takes to sustain a relationship is alot. Not only do you have to worry about your own well being, you have to worry about your partner's as well. Not only that you have to worry whether both of you will be faithful and how much you can trust one another. In addition, you must handle conflict and disappointment together and all the other curves that life will throw you.

When you are alone, it takes alot less energy because you only have to worry about yourself. You get to make your own decisions without someone else telling you it was a wrong one. You don't have to compromise and you have your own space all the time.

In a nutshell, long lasting relationships requiring lots of energy to succeed. You have to have self discipline and make sacrifices to make it work. Not everyone has the tools or desire to make that a full time job along with their occupational job. When you have been alone too long, it almost becomes hard habit to break. Que Chicago song, "Hard Habit to Break"

 

[buckthorn]

yeah, I get it guys... but, I don't have low self esteem and I am not depressed. I wake up at 6am, pick up my workers, kick *** on houses, work out, play with my dog and I feel "happy" for once. I suppose it's possible to feel happy without needing women,

- I don't know if I've mentally persuaded myself that relationships are a crock of sh*t, or if I legitmately believe it... but, I definitely feel it. I have failed to see even ONE TRULY happy relationship throughout my entire life.

 

[buckthorn]

Sounds like catatonic depression.

everythng you highlighted was about me being apathetic about HAIR LOSS, not about life. I feel truly helpless about losing my hair, simply because nothing works... so, what the f*** else is my mind supposed to revert to instead of apathy? I've been through the anger and depression, now is acceptance, which with hair loss IS apathy, simply not even giving a f***.

 

[hairblues]

yeah, I get it guys... but, I don't have low self esteem and I am not depressed. I wake up at 6am, pick up my workers, kick *** on houses, work out, play with my dog and I feel "happy" for once. I suppose it's possible to feel happy without needing women,

- I don't know if I've mentally persuaded myself that relationships are a crock of sh*t, or if I legitmately believe it... but, I definitely feel it. I have failed to see even ONE TRULY happy relationship throughout my entire life.

I was watching The Young Pope on HBO...and one of the characters said to the other that they become priests/nuns because they are cowards and afraid to love other men/women and God loves them unconditionally...soemthing like that.

i think that is what is going on with you is NOT God but your dog your nephew maybe 'us' here your co workers...there is no 'risk'. so you are content.

its good...but you need to eventually put yourself out there because you sound like the kind of guy who ultimately wants a family/kids.

 

[DoctorHouse]

yeah, I get it guys... but, I don't have low self esteem and I am not depressed. I wake up at 6am, pick up my workers, kick *** on houses, work out, play with my dog and I feel "happy" for once. I suppose it's possible to feel happy without needing women,

Bucky, I think you finally realize you make your own happiness. When you finally shut out society as being your "judge and jury" you will know whatever you do is always the right thing. Your dog is giving you that unconditional love every human craves. So basically, you are getting some fulfillment. And you know this community loves you too. So your happiness is of no surprise.

 

[buckthorn]

Bucky, I think you are finally realizes you make your own happiness. When you finally shut out society as being your "judge and jury" you will know whatever you do is always the right thing. Your dog is giving you that unconditional love every human craves. So basically, you are getting some fulfillment. And you know this community loves you too. So your happiness is of no surprise.

I love you man. You always have such encouraging things to say.

 

[buckthorn]

I was watching The Young Pope on HBO...and one of the characters said to the other that they become priests/nuns because they are cowards and afraid to love other men/women and God loves them unconditionally...soemthing like that.

i think that is what is going on with you is NOT God but your dog your nephew maybe 'us' here your co workers...there is no 'risk'. so you are content.

its good...but you need to eventually put yourself out there because you sound like the kind of guy who ultimately wants a family/kids.

damn.. spot on. :/ yeah, I will eventually. but first I have to complete this journey of self acceptance.

 

[hairblues]

damn.. spot on. :/ yeah, I will eventually. but first I have to complete this journey of self acceptance.

i think hair loss is a traumatic event...so i think you are in a healing stage so the unconditional love/acceptance is important when healing from something that almost cracks open your psyche.

 

[Grasshüpfer]

There are ways of being a healthy part of human evolution without looking for a relationship. Someone in a book once contemplated on being a gay guy and not having genetic heritage. As human society evolved past genetic heritage and more into concepts and ideas there is really more to life and to human society that looking for a partner.

I just read another redpilled thread here, and, while i think everything written was true, i suppose its not the point. Life ultimately is not about sex, but about finding a purpose and a lifestyle you love.

Actually for me in the past relationships were kind of an avoidance tactic, not facing the question what i really want to do in my life, by projecting a purpose into the other persons happyness. And crashing of course time and time again.

I think you made a step forward.

 

[Assemblage23]

What happened with your transplant is there a thread somewhere?

 

[CopeForLife]

last step is to go SLY

 

[EvilLocks]

A dog truly is the world's best friend. I can't express how much I love mine, if she died now I'd probably just off myself as I sometimes feel she's all I have. Yeah I do have my family and a few friends but they don't understand me like my dog does.

 

[sunchyme1]

I'm quite in a similar situation. As cocohot said, we both probably suffer from severe catatonic depression, and we don't see a way out because there isn't one. I feel for you, truly. We both feel like living corpses.

f*****g hell gimme a break. no way out? thats you dante not everyone else

buckthorn is not and will never feel like a living corpse. hes a successful guy whos got 3 girls after him did you not read that?

hes just a cool dude whos accepted his hairloss situation and is content with his life and himself right now. which is great.

good for you mate.

 

[buckthorn]

f*****g hell gimme a break. no way out? thats you dante not everyone else

buckthorn is not and will never feel like a living corpse. hes a successful guy whos got 3 girls after him did you not read that?

hes just a cool dude whos accepted his hairloss situation and is content with his life and himself right now. which is great.

good for you mate.

haha, well... thanks man, but not entirely true. I have three girls after me because they haven't seen me in person in years. I have not really accepted my hair loss at all. I would say the one thing that you nailed is I am content. Too apathetic about certain things, but content.

 

[Baldhurts]

last step is to go SLY

Brutal.

 

[buckthorn]

A dog truly is the world's best friend. I can't express how much I love mine, if she died now I'd probably just off myself as I sometimes feel she's all I have. Yeah I do have my family and a few friends but they don't understand me like my dog does.

EvilLocks, I felt the same way about the dog I had for 12 years... she died last October. It was crushing, life ending pain for sure. She couldn't walk, so I carried her into the vet to put her down. Worst f*****g day of my life.

I was driving to pick up gravel when I passed by the humane society, turned around and decided I wanted to just look at the dogs. I saw this guy and immedietely took the papers up to the desk to walk him.

As I was giving the papers, a lady came up to me and said, "oh please, that dog reminds my daughter of our old dog and her heart would break, etc..." so I let them walk him, while I walked another, little dog.

Well, they couldn't handle his energy and came up to me and we "traded" walking dogs. They adopted the one I was walking and i adopted him.
He is my heart now. So friggin affectionate and playful and cute and full of energy.

This was the period I was literally thinking about offing myself

^ for those that think that things don't happen for a reason... yes, sometimes they do. This was DEFINITELY the act of some higher power... the universe or something.

 

[blackg]

A dog truly is the world's best friend. I can't express how much I love mine, if she died now I'd probably just off myself as I sometimes feel she's all I have. Yeah I do have my family and a few friends but they don't understand me like my dog does.

How old is your dog, though? Plus you still have your good looks, from what everybody says around here.