Yes I'm seriously considering suicide but it's out of a logical standpoint rather then emotional. I mean, I've seriously destroyed my future self and it's all going to come tumbling down very soon
Your third option is to actually tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth( hopefully you are being truthful to us) to your parents. Let them know that right now college is not for you. It is not always for everyone. Also let your parents know your true mental state. No parent wants to deal with a child that commits suicide. They would much rather deal with an honest child who is not afraid to ask for their help. They would rather have you alive than dead no matter how bad you fail.
And I can tell from your posts, you have not overcome your BDD. I know the behavior as I live with it every day. You can't cure it. You can suppress it or numb your brain with drugs, but you can't get rid of those thoughts. Jordan Peterson said it's best to compare your former self to your current self and try to become the best version of you. You still have plenty of time to do that and there will always be a learning curve when you try. You have to know you will fail at times but use those lessons to do it better the next time.
I normally don't always pay attention to all the posters on here as I think they are not worth my time. You stood out because I can tell you were smart and it does not surprise me you did well in high school. I know what its like living with acne as it destroyed my youth as well. Luckily I did not pay attention to my hair like you did or I probably would have been just like you and failed out of college.
As
@justinbieberscombover said, those looksmax sites did a real number on your mental state and brainwashed you into believing unless you have top tier genetics, you will fail in everything you do including relationships with women. And I can tell from your posts, you have some built up resentment towards certain type of women. That is what you learned from those sites. Some of it might be true but not all of it. There are exceptions in life. I used to read looksmax type sites out of curiosity and because some people had links on here in their posts and used to say wow I used to be these guys and realized they were right in the sense looks do matter but what else matters. And come to realize it's what comes out of your mouth that really matters. And what you accomplish in life that will change other people's life in a positive way will matter even more. Steve Jobs would be a very good example. He changed the world with Apple with the iPhone, the iPad, iPod, and Mac Computers. He was never a chad.
Look at how some youtubers are making millions of dollars off people who are afraid to do what they do. I can't believe how many people throw alot of their hard earned money at these youubers while they are videoing themselves playing a video game. Don't get me wrong, I loved playing video games. It was a great escape but for me I lost interest in stuff like that because there are way more interesting subjects online and on youtube that will enhance my life more than watching some dude play a video game. The most popular youtubers tend to be train wrecks because we love watching people fail as long as it is not you. Or we enjoy watching people who can do outrageous feats the average person cannot do. I love watching magicians. I only wish I could do stuff like that.
I told you before, I see alot of potential in you. If I can see it, others can too. Just please get help now and the first move is to confront your parents. Obviously you care deeply about them or you would not care what they would think if you fail out of college.
Psychologist and Psychiatrists are not for everyone but unless you can do it all by self help and self talk( I was able to and had my parents support as well) then it's the only option at this point. I don't think you have any other option.
