ill just leave this here

[qball01]

Its just a shame for most of us losing our hair reveals to us just how paper thin our self-worth always was.

exactly....the negative people who always say things like "the just be confident mantra is a bunch of bullshit" and make it seem like because they're bald life is over...well, they pretty much prove that point. They don't believe that there is anything worthy about them that would still appeal to women and other people in general. Its amazing how many people have shitty self images (and I'm not immune to this either)...thats why I believe a man who really does have his sh*t together and know he has value that extends beyond his aesthetic appearance WILL appeal to a wide variety of women regardless of his looks...as long as its an authentic mindset and he isn't just faking it...its because women are also SO insecure about themselves and how they look....they're attracted to a man who knows that he can offer value in a lot more than just his looks...its a refreshing thing to them because (many of them) are so sucked in by this media driven, bullshit society

 

[superfrankie]

Its just a shame for most of us losing our hair reveals to us just how paper thin our self-worth always was.

exactly....the negative people who always say things like "the just be confident mantra is a bunch of bullshit" and make it seem like because they're bald life is over...well, they pretty much prove that point. They don't believe that there is anything worthy about them that would still appeal to women and other people in general. Its amazing how many people have shitty self images (and I'm not immune to this either)...thats why I believe a man who really does have his sh*t together and know he has value that extends beyond his aesthetic appearance WILL appeal to a wide variety of women regardless of his looks...as long as its an authentic mindset and he isn't just faking it...its because women are also SO insecure about themselves and how they look....they're attracted to a man who knows that he can offer value in a lot more than just his looks...its a refreshing thing to them because (many of them) are so sucked in by this media driven, bullshit society

True. Very True.

 

[Boondock]

Dudemon, some of those are fair points but they don't really address the major claims I made. Neil Strauss had some career success and a degree of "fame" before his success with women, but not to the level where any women on the street would recognize him for this. As such, in their eyes he was "just another guy". And yet, despite being short, skinny, and - yes - bald, he had incredible success with women. Why?

I agree with you that looks matter. And in certain situations, if you have great looks you will prosper over everyone else. But a guy who is cool, confident, interesting, and intelligent will still be able to get women whether he has hair or not. He won't get all women, but he'll get some. And Neil Strauss illustrates this point brilliantly, and is an example of a huge elephant in the room in the face of your theories about what women want and don't want.

 

[barcafan]

I'm having a good lol at dudemon trying to delineate the true intentions of wimminz when it comes to the dating world. Remember guys, if you're bald you should hate yourself and know that you have no shot with women, your opinion is quickly invalidated by the fact that he was MARRIED therefore knows moar than you do.

These guys turn balding into some sort of a church, where they worship at the altar of self pity. so so sad. Come on now people, you know better than to buy into this bullshit. There's so much self loathing and helplessness it's pretty disgusting and hilarious at the same time.


And believe me, if i start experiencing the same sh*t ya'll talking about i'll be the first one to come back here and admit i was wrong and all that, but you know what, it's never going to happen.

seriously people, you have been defeated by life itself. you should just admit your situation and stop looking for scapegoats.

 

[Boondock]

Pwned.

 

[Oknow]

Dudemon - wasn't you diffuse thinning in your twenties? NW3?

If so, and you say you were doing well back then with women, then women could see that you were cosmetically balding?...which mean that balding shouldnt have been a factor for your success with women.

 

[barcafan]

I'm having a good lol at dudemon trying to delineate the true intentions of wimminz when it comes to the dating world. Remember guys, if you're bald you should hate yourself and know that you have no shot with women, your opinion is quickly invalidated by the fact that he was MARRIED therefore knows moar than you do.

These guys turn balding into some sort of a church, where they worship at the altar of self pity. so so sad. Come on now people, you know better than to buy into this bullshit. There's so much self loathing and helplessness it's pretty disgusting and hilarious at the same time.


And believe me, if i start experiencing the same sh*t ya'll talking about i'll be the first one to come back here and admit i was wrong and all that, but you know what, it's never going to happen.

seriously people, you have been defeated by life itself. you should just admit your situation and stop looking for scapegoats.

Before I was married, I had my share of girlfriends, and I was quite a socialite and party animal back in the late 1980's and early 90's. (that is where I earned the nickname "dudemon" from one of my old party buddies, BTW). I knew a lot of people and had quite a life back then. Then my life turned to sh*t. I'll admit it that I let my ex wife manipulate me becuase I was young, dumb and I didn't know any better. Before too long, she had turned me into a loser, and dependent on her, then she dumped me because I was just a bald loser. SHE ACTAULLY SAID SO! (and as hurtful as she was, I'll admit - she was right)

But back before I had hair transplants, I tried to get back into the dating scene (in the mid/late 90's) for several years after my divorce and I had a rude awakening as to how much rejection a guy could possibly endure. It was because I was a NW5, and it did not look good on me...at all. I guess that was because I was only an average looking guy to begin with - genetic-wise. When I lost my hair, plus having a few "accidents" at work that put scars on my face and head, and my nasal cavity collapsed on one side (needs maxillofacial surgery to correct it), I have become one ugly dude. So, I can totally understand why women reject me. I don't blame them for it; hell if I was a woman, I'd reject myself too.

Ever see that movie with Mel Gibson, when he plays "Mr. McCloud" the deformed guy? Well that is pretty close to how my life is now. I am a freak of nature.

But I do remember the dating scene after my big D. I learned a lot during those times. I learned a million and one ways to get rejected. I also spent a lot of time watching and observing women and people make connections in bars and clubs, while I would sit there sipping my drink all night long without ever having any women approach me - ever. If I went up to them, they'd call some guy over to get in my face and start a fight with me for "harassing the ladies." I was always outnumbered, so I would just leave. (The bartender was also always on their side - so I'd get blamed for starting a fight, which wasn't worth going to jail over - for me anyways). If I went out with a couple buddies, they'd be hooking up with women, and I'd be left there - alone, as always.

Eventually, I got the message: the dating scene was not happening for me. No matter what I tried, it just didn't work. Even when I shaved my head, worked out, put nice clothes on, had a "Mr. Confidence" attitude with women, I was still rejected. I just gave up after a while, as it was quite obvious that nothing I did, no matter what it was, was going to work. I got sick of always "hanging out with the guys" and having "sausage fests." My "cool" buddies quit going out/hanging out with me because they said I drove the women away because I was so homely looking.

Then I got talked into getting an hair transplant by a friend of mine. At first, I didn't listen to him. But after a while, I thought I'd check it out (I had always wondered about them, but never really considered one). Well in 2004, after having done several years of "research" and after toying with the idea inside my head for a few years (because of my friend putting ideas in my head), I made the mistake of getting and hair transplant.

I didn't know sh*t about hair transplants, and I thought I made a good decision, but man was I wrong! I got butchered the first time around. It made me so depressed that I thought about just putting an end to it all, it was that bad. :sobbing:

Then, I found a real good hair transplant surgeon - one of the world's best - who did the best he could to unf*ck what the first a**hole f***ed up. I have had 2 hair transplants with the second guy now, and I must say I am VERY happy with his work. Without him, I would still look awful - like Frankenstein. But he made me not look not "as" bad.

Well, I never should have had hair transplants. It just made my life worse than it already was. Right now, I can't do anything at all about my situation, and haven't been in a postition for the last three years due to the fact that I have not been working because I have been going to school full time.

Now, I still hate the overall result of my hair transplants, and I know that I still can't go outside without looking like "Johnny hair transplant."

Nowadays, the social scene - as well as the dating scene - are unthinkable for me at this time. Until I can finish school later this year, get a job and move into my own pad, and have more surgery work (hair transplant, and facial) I am stuck living this way. I am a complete "recluse" now.

But it doesn't stop me from thinking positive that maybe someday things will finally get better for me.

Also, BTW, I didn't really choose to go back to school when I did. A relative of mine died,and left me some money to go back to school - but the money had to be used for that and only that - as it stated in the will.

The money was used up in my first year of school, and now I have some financial aid, and a TON of student loans to pay off when I graduate.

So, if I may ask you, barcafan, how am I so "pathetic" as you say?

And, if you were in my shoes, what would you do (or have done) so differently, if I may ask? (besides not getting hair transplants, and not letting a woman control you).

First of all dont take anything i say as really being personal because i obviously don't know you in person but can only go on what i read about on these forums -- which will probably be skewed due to the fact that its a 'release your feelings' forum and alot of posts are probably emotionally charged.

Dude, the thing is if i was in your shoes alot of that sh*t wouldn't have happened in the first place, but then again we're not the same person so it's not fair for me to say we have the same mentality and react the same way in situations. I'm not very easily manipulated, i'm not really a party freak and don't care about vain superficial sh*t. Animals are supposed to struggle when they're faced with adversity, and it just sounds to me that you've simply given up struggling. But once you really give up, what else do you have? But at least you're in school and thinking about the future so obviously you're not totally out of fight.

You've made mistakes in your life, sounds like shitty hair transplant'S were the among the biggest. Well what's done is done and all you can do now is think about the best route to fix them and continue on with your life, droning on and on about how bad they are does....NOTHING except reinforce negative feelings about yourself. Dont give superficial scumbags so much control over your life, take the control back from them. You're living your own f*****g life, theyre not living it for you. they're inconsequential, all that matters is YOU. I've been through enough sh*t too (none of which i want to post on a forum) and god damn it just overall lit a fire under my *** and motivates me like nothing else, to blind all the haters.

And come on now, the way you describe baldness makes it sound like the person is a leper, which i think even you know sounds ridiculous. I know enough bald people some of which definitely dont pull off the look and 99% of the time they're treated with dignity and respect and have social lives and go on dates and oh-my-god even have sex with females. You're an accountant? So im not surprised at your very rigid and "logical" reasoning when it comes to these social situations, it almost looks like im reading a damn math formula. but god damn that is just not how humans work.

I think for alot of people it really isn't baldness per se, its just the straw that breaks the camels back -- they were mentally weak prior to it, and just got exposed and can't deal with it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yeah but Barca is a young, good looking guy who isn't bald and the Dude is a middle aged man with see through hair and slight facial deformaties. To draw comparisons between the two would be unfair. What the dude says is his own perspective based on his own experiences and just because Barca is not in a position to be exposed to the same things he has, doesn't make the dude's opinions any less valid.

 

[doyle11]

I went from having hair about a year long to shaving down to a 0 guard in one day. I got a lot more compliments and attention from girls and blokes alike. My girlfriend and some of her friends absolutely loved it, they couldn't keep their hands off. Yea, I realise it's not everones cup of tea but I doubt it had much effect on my pulling power, got more attention in clubs and pubs than ever.

 

[Boondock]

Did you lose all that hair to slick bald, or did you just shave it down? Girls love buzzed down Norwood 1. Chrome dome is another story.

 

[doyle11]

Pretty heavily receeded and thinning, there was no grade on the clippers and had the settings as low as they go. I don't even think you could make out the faintest bit of hair initially. I could just be lucky, my girl hates me with longer hair and loves it when i go slick bald. For what it's worth i live in the uk.

 

[Boondock]

Yeah I'm UK too. Personally I can't imagine the laughing and pointing that UCMan claims to experience in whatever shithole he lives in. But I do think there are still girls who prefer a guy with hair, even if they would define it so concretely.

 

[doyle11]

I've never seen pointing and laughing to be hoenst. In the first day I got the obligatory "cueball" and "baldy" from mates in jest but it didn't really bother me, after a few minutes of joking around they admitted it looked pretty good and one of them even followed suit. I ocasionally look in the mirror and think good grief... but most of the time I'm happy with it.

I literally see thousands of men from 20-60 with shaved heads, just walking through town, be it truro or cardiff for me. I dunno, but it seems to me that a lot of people in the UK have less trouble embracing baldness.

 

[superfrankie]

I dunno, but it seems to me that a lot of people in the UK have less trouble embracing baldness.

Maybe its the football hooligan culture or that almost every guy (I may exaggerate a bit but you get the point) looks like sh*t already on that island (foreigners excluded). I find guys in the UK to be the least attractive people on earth. Hard to explain, they majority just scares the sh*t out of me, literally! They look unhealthy, pale etc. What scares the sh*t out of me even more is when they go bald. Then 99% really look like sh*t. :shakehead:

 

[Boondock]

What the hell are you talking about? This one goes out to my UK brothers:

^ errrr...

[/end gay]

 

[BrightonBaldy]

superfrankie, every country in the world has alot of ugly bald men.

 

[Nashville Hairline]

superfrankie, every country in the world has alot of ugly bald men.

Agreed, I think he's just describing a stereotype and making a huge sweeping generalization that all UK men conform to this.

But we do know that the US has the highest rates of obesity in the world so nerrrrrrrr!

(am Irish but must defend my fellow palefaced west Europeans)

 

[s.a.f]

Unfortunatley this is the type of Englishmen that the rest of the world most commonly come into contact with :[attachment=0:1g5p66pn]27f3625c79beced8e4ddac3b4c8adcf1.jpg[/attachment:1g5p66pn]

 

[cuebald]

Haha. I think we were voted the ugliest race in Europe.
Problem with the UK is that I seem to see either very attractive or very ugly people, and no inbetween.
You can guess which side of the fence I fall onto :shakehead: :mrgreen:

I went to Spain and the locals knew to speak to me in English before I'd even opened my mouth. They could obviously tell on sight where I was from. I don't quite fit in amongst all of the tanned Euro's.

 

[Mens Rea]

^ yeah i always say to my brothers, if only i had a deep tan i wouldn't even mind shaving my head.

white puffy face with diffuse hairloss aint a great look. ive been hitting the sunbeds here and there, defintately give me a nice glow!

other side of the coin is, end of the day, we arent competing with tanned italian hunks or whatever. no one will really bat an eyelid if you have thin hair over here. its all on a case by case basis, some guys seem to be more affected by it than others (physically, and mentally) but i defintely think the UK's culture embraces baldnes much more than the U.S or other countries perhaps.