GO TO A f*****g PSYCHIATRIST. Don't go once, go EVERY WEEK or more often for an INDEFINITE period. COMMIT TO IT. You went ONE TIME and wrote it off, claiming it didn't help you. Well NO sh*t. Someone in your state of mind needs LONG TERM help.
If you are not willing to help yourself, you should at least grant the courtesy of not subjecting everyone else to your doom and gloom ad infinitum. You refuse to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You're just too damn selfish to look.
There is nothing worse than someone who won't help himself when help is readily available. It constitutes pure laziness and lack of regard for those around him. Believe it or not, there are people around you who care for you and your reaction is to just sulk and give up. SHAME on you.
cc: Miniscules, Taug, Antonio