Im bald-women? Im bald-women! Im bald-women:( Im bald-women..bald,women,bald,women

[Afro_Vacancy]

It's really weak to start saying "sorry we don't discuss personality here" when you don't decide that, the community (or rather Impact Forum and this topic, like many others, in particular) focuses a lot on how to get women, not just what aesthetics pleases them.

Granting acceptance for me acknowledging the importance of looks doesn't "make up" for what you see as my cardinal sin of pushing guys to **** any woman, I'm not on trial here, these are 2 unrelated things. You have said in this topic and also before that I'm a deluded confidence pusher, and that I insist that looks don't really matter, so instead of giving me this nod of approval, please acknowledge this in future when you go to randomly shoot me down for being a positivity nut. I don't know if you do it deliberately or if you simply don't read my posts properly, but I have never implied anything close to the points you keep attributing to me with regards to personality>confidence, and you know that's not fair.

As for your quote, yes I see what you mean now, and I'll hold my hands up and just admit it, I think guys are better off trying ANY woman, rather than trying to start with good quality chicks. It's a way of discovering where you stand and what to aim for, and it's better than being alone and wondering when it's going to happen for years until you might get lucky.

The rest of your post was a very intriguing way of how you see things, and I understand what you're saying completely on that point, but you're mis-understanding what I'm saying as in- I'm not saying force a "compatible" relationship out of nothing, and you're correct that it ends in unhappiness, but I think a guy is better off at least trying. So you did the right thing, it didn't work out, I didn't say "guys should FORCE A LIFELONG BOND WITH THE FIRST GIRL WHO COMES ALONG" I just said they should try, I get the impression a lot of people don't.

We have firm believers in "Confidence is a by-product of predictability" and although I find the term a bit pretentious (I'd just say "build confidence" essentially) I don't mind it as one of the definitions of what confidence is, and if building it involves getting out there with girls you may not feel instantly in love with, then at least try it so you're prepared to talk to one you may actually like. That's all, I'm not forcing wedding bells on anyone.

If I have mistakenly conflated your posts with those of jd_uk among others then I apologize. I will try and pay better attention in the future.

I mostly agree with the sentiment that confidence is a byproduct of predictability. People are not completely deluded and retarded, they know what their abilities are and their potential is, at least approximately. I'm paying for a hotel room in Stockholm with my credit card tomorrow, I have "confidence" that they will accept, minus a minor fear that they will decline a foreign credit card. However, if I were to try to reserve say, 3 months worth of hotel rooms, I would not have as much confidence The result would be less predictable.

A really beautiful woman responded to one of my messages on pof last week. I gave it an honest shot, she responded a second time, but I had no confidence that this would lead to a number, date, sex, etc. It didn't, she stopped at two messages. This isn't caused by my lack of confidence, but by a rational assessment of reality. She's a 27 year-old athletic blonde with long legs, she has lots of choices, I on the other hand am 5'11 and semitic-looking. If I were 6'4 and a white anglo-saxon protestant, it is more likely that we'd be going out, but not because of my confidence. That would be confusing cause and effect.

I agree with Hellouser that confidence is more effect than cause, and have believed this long before I saw him post it on these forums.

 

[Saurabhaj]

Confidence will not give a girl what you wanted..i agree,but it may attract some one special to you because of that confidence...

- - - Updated - - -

Mant times..i read one line in India that is opposite to your opinion and mine too.
It says "love(marry) someone who loves you more."

I think this is not possible,i was liked by three girls and i never was attracted to them.
All three girls were very good type still i didn't like them.

I believe "Marry with girl whom you love the most and that girl who also loves you back "

 

[Roberto_72]

A really beautiful woman responded to one of my messages on pof last week. I gave it an honest shot, she responded a second time, but I had no confidence that this would lead to a number, date, sex, etc. It didn't, she stopped at two messages. This isn't caused by my lack of confidence, but by a rational assessment of reality. She's a 27 year-old athletic blonde with long legs, she has lots of choices, I on the other hand am 5'11 and semitic-looking. If I were 6'4 and a white anglo-saxon protestant, it is more likely that we'd be going out, but not because of my confidence. That would be confusing cause and effect.

I agree with Hellouser that confidence is more effect than cause, and have believed this long before I saw him post it on these forums.

May I ask you why you think she replied back for? I mean, we men have to know ourselves (as the Greek said) and our limits but also women should know what they really look for.
I once went out with a girl that was easily a 8.5. There was no second date although I am 90% sure I ticked all of her non-looks-related boxes.
I wonder why she made me lose all that time chatting and going out whilst it was SO CLEAR she would not think I was her league.

 

[shookwun]

If I have mistakenly conflated your posts with those of jd_uk among others then I apologize. I will try and pay better attention in the future.

I mostly agree with the sentiment that confidence is a byproduct of predictability. People are not completely deluded and retarded, they know what their abilities are and their potential is, at least approximately. I'm paying for a hotel room in Stockholm with my credit card tomorrow, I have "confidence" that they will accept, minus a minor fear that they will decline a foreign credit card. However, if I were to try to reserve say, 3 months worth of hotel rooms, I would not have as much confidence The result would be less predictable.

A really beautiful woman responded to one of my messages on pof last week. I gave it an honest shot, she responded a second time, but I had no confidence that this would lead to a number, date, sex, etc. It didn't, she stopped at two messages. This isn't caused by my lack of confidence, but by a rational assessment of reality. She's a 27 year-old athletic blonde with long legs, she has lots of choices, I on the other hand am 5'11 and semitic-looking. If I were 6'4 and a white anglo-saxon protestant, it is more likely that we'd be going out, but not because of my confidence. That would be confusing cause and effect.

I agree with Hellouser that confidence is more effect than cause, and have believed this long before I saw him post it on these forums.

Dude, relax.

Do you know how common it is to message someone, exchange a few messages then it goes ghost on no response. It's nothing unusual.

Once you get numbers, you will realise they don't mean much unless they actually meet up with you. Having decent text game is some what important to, but then again if she is giving one words, and not much material to work with...she's a waste of time. can it


Always, I repeat always call a women after a few texts. You cannot read, feel, and paint a good picture of someone through a text. A phone call is a must.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

May I ask you why you think she replied back for? I mean, we men have to know ourselves (as the Greek said) and our limits but also women should know what they really look for.
I once went out with a girl that was easily a 8.5. There was no second date although I am 90% sure I ticked all of her non-looks-related boxes.
I wonder why she made me lose all that time chatting and going out whilst it was SO CLEAR she would not think I was her league.

Fred's theory, worth repeating, is that some women sometimes give other men a "chance" in order to convince themselves they're being fair and testing the waters. Then, they "just don't feel it". She might not even explicitly realize your looks are the issue, she might think it's "chemistry".

That's plausible.

I think it's just mood and luck variations. For example, on some days she might get nine messages, on another day she might get two messages, if you hit her on the latter you are more likely to get through. Alternatively, it is known that women's tastes are a function of their menstrual cycle, this has been robustly measured by psychologists.

 

[Rudiger]

Always, I repeat always call a women after a few texts. You cannot read, feel, and paint a good picture of someone through a text. A phone call is a must.

As if it makes a difference she either wants to bang him cuz she thinks he's hot or she's forgot he's existed duhhh

 

[shookwun]

Ive been in this situation.


I managed to snag one of the hottest girls on POF in my area, hands down. I messaged her on April 4th, she responded back April 14th... im guessing drunk, because she texted me at 2;30am in the morning. I messaged back, and then recieved another message the following night/morning at again 2isham.

We met up at the bar, had an amazing time... good chemistry, thought I was good looking according to her friends. We ended up drinking all night, dancing, mingling, and then going back to her house when the club closed around 2ish am. HAd MDMA back at her house, and had sex all night, and in the morning. I thought for sure this is my girl from that night. I gave it everything I had to please her, make her feel like a wh***... and just have dirty hardcore sex.

We had another two dates after that, and she definitely wanted to see me every time. However, it was like pulling teeth to see her, alot of the time there was problems, or she was to busy... bla bla bla. Again she liked me to. Always made sure I got home safe, texted me the next day,... and then our communication for no reason kinda dissapeared.

We talk on the phone, and have great convos.

Long story short, she told me she'd get back to me last we spoke... and hasn't. that was a third strike for me, and I havent messaged her since.


dont take it personal, these hot chicks have so many guys in there life. Even if you do have awesome chemistry, and even got to the pooint where you had sex... it doesn't guarantee anything.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

As if it makes a difference she either wants to bang him cuz she thinks he's hot or she's forgot he's existed duhhh

If she's uninterested then calling her makes no difference, otherwise it's a prerequisite.

 

[shookwun]

Calling a lot of the time is a pre requisite, and can be the game changer between seeing her and disapearing within the texts like many.


When you call you put someone on the spot, and they don't have much choice as far as changing plans is concerned. A text she can easily dismiss. If you're good at talking it can make her even more interested in seeing you.


I always ensure I call my dates, and girls I met so it paints a better picture of who I am, and what she can expect. gives her an idea & shows your not one of the hundred many betas who text her and get lost.

 

[Rudiger]

If she's uninterested then calling her makes no difference, otherwise it's a prerequisite.

My point is a bit cryptic here but what I'm saying and basically what I'm always saying is that there's no ultimate non-interest or total interest, she may be a bit interested, but not really care that much either, and the extra effort could make a difference. Shooks often boils things down to either she wants to **** or not and attraction plays almost every part in this, and he doesn't realise by giving the advise he's given above, and given in other threads, he's contradicting himself. If it was 99% attraction (or whatever high percentage) then it wouldn't matter if you called or not, it shouldn't matter if he calls girls or not, but yet he insists its imperative? M'kai.

But on that topic personally I wouldn't bother calling after a few texts, I don't see why not though.

 

[shookwun]

My point is a bit cryptic here but what I'm saying and basically what I'm always saying is that there's no ultimate non-interest or total interest, she may be a bit interested, but not really care that much either, and the extra effort could make a difference. Shooks often boils things down to either she wants to **** or not and attraction plays almost every part in this, and he doesn't realise by giving the advise he's given above, and given in other threads, he's contradicting himself. If it was 99% attraction (or whatever high percentage) then it wouldn't matter if you called or not, it shouldn't matter if he calls girls or not, but yet he insists its imperative? M'kai.

But on that topic personally I wouldn't bother calling after a few texts, I don't see why not though.

it's not set in stone. Im more or less refering to building up a bit of interest, subtle texts back & fourth and then closing the deal with a phone call to keep her captivated.

In bold: couldn't of said it better! this is often always the case for men because are numbers are so limite, we are often caught up in putting all are eggs in one basket. While most women arew just casually browsing through. One moment they are interested, then something happens and they forget about you.

This happens all to much. They like you, but not as much as they thought

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Ive been in this situation.


I managed to snag one of the hottest girls on POF in my area, hands down. I messaged her on April 4th, she responded back April 14th... im guessing drunk, because she texted me at 2;30am in the morning. I messaged back, and then recieved another message the following night/morning at again 2isham.

We met up at the bar, had an amazing time... good chemistry, thought I was good looking according to her friends. We ended up drinking all night, dancing, mingling, and then going back to her house when the club closed around 2ish am. HAd MDMA back at her house, and had sex all night, and in the morning. I thought for sure this is my girl from that night. I gave it everything I had to please her, make her feel like a wh***... and just have dirty hardcore sex.

We had another two dates after that, and she definitely wanted to see me every time. However, it was like pulling teeth to see her, alot of the time there was problems, or she was to busy... bla bla bla. Again she liked me to. Always made sure I got home safe, texted me the next day,... and then our communication for no reason kinda dissapeared.

We talk on the phone, and have great convos.

Long story short, she told me she'd get back to me last we spoke... and hasn't. that was a third strike for me, and I havent messaged her since.


dont take it personal, these hot chicks have so many guys in there life. Even if you do have awesome chemistry, and even got to the pooint where you had sex... it doesn't guarantee anything.

Calling a lot of the time is a pre requisite, and can be the game changer between seeing her and disapearing within the texts like many.


When you call you put someone on the spot, and they don't have much choice as far as changing plans is concerned. A text she can easily dismiss. If you're good at talking it can make her even more interested in seeing you.


I always ensure I call my dates, and girls I met so it paints a better picture of who I am, and what she can expect. gives her an idea & shows your not one of the hundred many betas who text her and get lost.

Shookwun,

I think that over the past few months you've given the best dating and sex advice here.

I agree that being needy, taking things personally, etc is bad and counterproductive and incorrect.

I'll just say though ... Keeping it chill and not taking things personally is easier when you have several options. If you struggle to get a few dates a year, you will obsess more. I do the best i can "playing it chill" but then i get nervous.

Ultimately i have to lose more weight and do more stuff probably.

 

[shookwun]

Put yourself out there, and it will only get better.

It will get to the point where you just casually ask for the number, and be surprised that many girls will in fact give it to you.


Again! dont take it personal. Last thursday I went to the liqour store, had a great conversation with one of the cashiers that ivèe been seeing for awhile for beverage. Tells me this is her second last shift, and her plans... Moving forward. I close with the whole 'well darn, we should definitely get together some time' she says 'for sure' write her name and number. I didn't text her the following day, but a couple days after. She never replied.

A lot of things can change a womens mind about you, even if she thinks you're attractive.


I'm giving you guys real life field reports of my experience. Everything I write is recent as of this month.

 

[FWIW]

congrats guys ,prooving threads point...

 

[shookwun]

Sigmund Freud AKA red pill > Deluded blue pillers

Man is entirely libido driven in his decision making.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Sigmund Freud AKA red pill > Deluded blue pillers Man is entirely libido driven in his decision making.

Of interest: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-04/afps-frp041516.php

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

My point is a bit cryptic here but what I'm saying and basically what I'm always saying is that there's no ultimate non-interest or total interest, she may be a bit interested, but not really care that much either, and the extra effort could make a difference. Shooks often boils things down to either she wants to **** or not and attraction plays almost every part in this, and he doesn't realise by giving the advise he's given above, and given in other threads, he's contradicting himself. If it was 99% attraction (or whatever high percentage) then it wouldn't matter if you called or not, it shouldn't matter if he calls girls or not, but yet he insists its imperative? M'kai.

But on that topic personally I wouldn't bother calling after a few texts, I don't see why not though.

I believe that ultimate non-interest and total interest, between them, comprise the vast majority of hypothetical pairings.

 

[blackg]

Fred's theory, worth repeating, is that some women sometimes give other men a "chance" in order to convince themselves they're being fair and testing the waters. Then, they "just don't feel it". She might not even explicitly realize your looks are the issue, she might think it's "chemistry".

That's plausible.

I think it's just mood and luck variations. For example, on some days she might get nine messages, on another day she might get two messages, if you hit her on the latter you are more likely to get through. Alternatively, it is known that women's tastes are a function of their menstrual cycle, this has been robustly measured by psychologists.

Jeez, these damn Princesses are sure hard to figure out.

 

[Roberto_72]

Of interest: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-04/afps-frp041516.php

This is an interesting read. Basically people tend to underestimate the difficulty of some romantic settings and, rather than diversifying their choices, they focus efforts where they are likely to fail.
I think it is an evolutionary trait: only one will win and will have it all, but everyone should try...

Maybe it also justifies why some people remain in some relations where they are treated poorly.