I'm very depressed

IBM

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Hi. Just to say that i've been very depressed. We've been through some dificulties.

I going to leave the company at the end of the month. Other company came to me and offered better conditions.

But i've been facing bigger issues. I wont write because i'm not prepared. Its been a shock! I handling it slowly step by step.
 

ali777

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Join the club...

Life is sh*t, I have no money. I work on some IT project as well, and it isn't going at all as I hope it would. To be honest, I have done most of the coding and I have the results but I am struggling like b**ch with the documentation and some of the tests.

When I am done, I'll borrow some money and go on a long holiday. My dad is retiring this year, and he's gonna get some lump sum money. It's not much but he offered a bit of help. I know, we are at that age that we aren't supposed to get any money from our parents anymore, but I went through most of my life not taking any money from my parents. So, it's kinda my turn to make up for all those years and take some money from them. Even my brother said that he used my parents more than me, so he offered me some money too... Nice...

When I get back I will decide what to do next. I think I prefer freelance route, but it may not be possible in short term. I might try to get a decent job and build some sort of portfolio and do some extra work over the weekends and get a freelance job going.

If I was 5 years younger, I would pack my bags and head to the far east to teach English/Computers. I have a masters degree in engineering, it should count for something in the local colleges.

Oh well.. One step at a time..
 

IBM

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Summary:

I'm still depressed!

Thesis:

Just to share.

I've been in vacations working in a religion big event in Portugal. I've been really depressed.
Today it was one of the best good looking days (maybe the best if i had hair longer).

Anyone i got the white clean and neat face with a tan burn! Really i was like white and red skin. I looked in the mirror and said to my self. You're good, damn it!

But none of the girls looked at me. I spent the party alone between 5000 people. Nevermind. I'm just depressed as before so. I still depressed. Period.
 

DoctorHouse

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IBM, I was just wondering are you depressed?......................................................................... :whistle:
 

ali777

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IBM said:
Summary:
I've been in vacations working in a religion big event in Portugal. I've been really depressed.
Today it was one of the best good looking days (maybe the best if i had hair longer).

Anyone i got the white clean and neat face with a tan burn! Really i was like white and red skin. I looked in the mirror and said to my self. You're good, damn it!

But none of the girls looked at me. I spent the party alone between 5000 people. Nevermind. I'm just depressed as before so. I still depressed. Period.

I thought you said that you were done with morals and religion?

If you like what you see in the mirror, what girls think of you doesn't matter much. At the end of the day it's a religious festival and having impure thoughts is a sin. So, you can understand why girls don't look at you.
 

s.a.f

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IBM said:
Anyone i got the white clean and neat face with a tan burn! Really i was like white and red skin. I looked in the mirror and said to my self. You're good, damn it!
But none of the girls looked at me. I spent the party alone between 5000 people. Nevermind. I'm just depressed as before so. I still depressed. Period.

And what did you do to attract them? Did you go talk to any girls or did you stand alone in the corner and just hope that they'd come to you?
 

IBM

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DoctorHouse said:
IBM, I was just wondering are you depressed?......................................................................... :whistle:

Nobody likes me...
 

IBM

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ali777 said:
I thought you said that you were done with morals and religion?

If you like what you see in the mirror, what girls think of you doesn't matter much. At the end of the day it's a religious festival and having impure thoughts is a sin. So, you can understand why girls don't look at you.

Good lord. Why people blame the faith and religion? I'm mad the way my family pushed matters at this way.
And to your information my religion is the few that sex and relationship are simply not approached. And there's no descrimination. You can be gay, bi, swinger. As long as you dont violate freedom of others that's ok.

My family pushed things too hard and used religion to pressure. I had a discussion with my mother and she cried. Later i'll tell what happened. Lets things calm down then i'll tell you.
 

IBM

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s.a.f said:
And what did you do to attract them? Did you go talk to any girls or did you stand alone in the corner and just hope that they'd come to you?

Whatever i go, whatever i do i'm always alone or with man. I had lots of environments and in that i've always had man companionship or no at all.

I think its about time to assume as gay. Looking to the past that's what a gay would like to have. A world full of men. Maybe i should think in castrate myself. Be an eunuch.
 

DoctorHouse

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IBM said:
DoctorHouse said:
IBM, I was just wondering are you depressed?......................................................................... :whistle:

Nobody likes me...

Including yourself :smack:
 

ali777

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IBM said:
I think its about time to assume as gay. Looking to the past that's what a gay would like to have. A world full of men. Maybe i should think in castrate myself. Be an eunuch.

I hear gay man are very promiscuous and less picky then women. If you decide to go that route, there will be someone interested in you everyday.
 

DoctorHouse

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ali777 said:
IBM said:
I think its about time to assume as gay. Looking to the past that's what a gay would like to have. A world full of men. Maybe i should think in castrate myself. Be an eunuch.

I hear gay man are very promiscuous and less picky then women. If you decide to go that route, there will be someone interested in you everyday.
In general most men are promiscuous and less picky whether they are gay or straight. So if you are gay, you don't have to play games like straight men have to do with women to get some action. So IBM, you might be on to something there................ :whistle:
 

Obsidian

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I've sadly come to the conclusion like many others here that IBM feeds off negative thoughts on himself which is pretty sad because the way he keeps at it he will be alone.
 

uncomfortable man

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I could see IBM going out with a Dungeons and Dragons role playing chick. I know alot of people looking for love online, ever try that?
 

ali777

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uncomfortable man said:
I could see IBM going out with a Dungeons and Dragons role playing chick. I know alot of people looking for love online, ever try that?

I hate role play, but I love their chicks. I'm a bit of a geek myself, and those chicks really turn me on. With the way I dress and behave, I don't think one of them would ever fall for me, but I would love to date a role play/goth type of a girl.

I'm really cheesed off that all my local alternative clubs have shut down, they've all turned into commercial bars now. There is only one biker sort of pub left where I live, but I don't like bikers. I find them intimidating. I want to go to a place where I can meet geeks.

To be honest, IBM is image conscious, I can't imagine him with one of them. I can picture him with a middle of the road girl that will please his parents. I even bet that IBM would find the typical goth or role play chick as scary.

PS: I'm off to a commercial night club.. see you tomorrow
 
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