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Reading through these forums, it seems like the big obsession here is how women view balding men, whether they want to bang them, whether they want to boyfriend them, marry them. Although I certainly understand it, for me it seems to kind of miss the point.
First 24 years of my life, I didn't really care about how I looked. I didn't even notice I was thinning until it was pointed out to me. After I got divorced I got very vain, in part of course because I realized that now I would need to head out onto the dating market if I wanted to get married again, which at the time seemed very important to me. I was thinning a bit but I was also using minoxidil (my ex-wife was very distressed about the idea of me going bald, despite her dad being like an NW5 lol), so for about 2 years after I got divorced I got laid like crazy, did a lot of stupid sh*t for sex since then tbh. But to be honest, none of it ever made me happy. I had good sex and bad sex, but the only time I was really happy was a very brief relationship I had which was way too sex heavy and not heavy on anything else important. After it ended I was devastated, she had left me saying I didn't make enough money, I devoted myself to self-marketing and increasing my IT knowledge so I could get out of basic home tech support and make more money. I succeeded, but again it provided me no happiness.
I'm getting pretty thin now with my diffuse shedding, but the biggest deal for me now is my self-image. I've been single with very few interruptions since 2015 now, but honestly two years out I am more OK with it. I actually don't want a relationship now, and I don't think I ever want to get married. My main reason for not wanting to lose my hair right now TBH is my own self-image. I based a lot of my identity on being good looking, and of course I realize I look much better with hair. I also can't imagine myself bald, the thought of seeing myself bald upsets me. But I've realized that these are my own hang-ups, even if I keep my hair I am going to get older. I need to accept that. As you can see at my intro thread, I am going to give finistaride a chance after years of avoiding it. But I've really come to realize that what's most important isn't what everyone else thinks of me, but what I think of me!
It'll be difficult to re-align my self image, but with a beard and a lot more muscle (I'm going to the gym everyday now) I think I could eventually grow to accept myself in the mirror. I'm not going to pretend that my dating prospects will be similar--I've met girls off of dating apps and banged them in my car (which at the time was tiny and I am over 6 feet tall lol) within an hour of meeting them, and I doubt that will ever happen again if I let my hair go. Although it was fun, is that really something to make myself miserable over losing though? I wanted a relationship at the time, and that never lead to anything but more sex. Besides being dangerous and illegal (we were in public lol), it was the equivalent of a drug hit....satisfying in the short term but ultimately unfulfilling. But as I've lived on my own for so long know (long story but my wife was in another country and we were waiting on her visa when we split) I don't really want to live with anyone else. My bic-bald brother has a girlfriend he lives with and it seems kind of awful tbh, she's always yelling at him for one reason or another. I understand sex is a natural drive but I think our very patriarchal, masculine culture makes us put more value into it than it deserves. I jack off constantly but I realize that it's more of an artificial habit than an intense desire, and as i try to cut it down and I find that I am happier as a result.
I guess my point is, the diminished dating prospects of balding aren't something to rave about but it's really not the end of the world. We ought not to build our entire lives out of whether or not a particular group of people (women) accept us as romantic partners or not. Ultimately, even if you have the hair of Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, their acceptance is ultimately not in your hands. If you build your happiness, sense of worth and will to live off of that, you're building a castle on a bedrock of sand.
So what should you build your life upon? Well ultimately that's something you've got to decide yourself, but I'll give you my 2 cents since you've read this far. I think it's self-evident that traditional religions are not true. I would argue further that their peculiar mix of mysticism and philosophy is more or less garbage, you can find all the good elsewhere and the bad is so intermixed as to be fundamental to the whole thing. I think it's also fairly obvious there is no paternal creator deity who cares about whether we are good or evil, whether we are happy or sad, when and how we live and die. So what's that leave us? Basically at nihilism, but that's bitter medicine to swallow and not very productive. Nietzsche realized this over 100 years ago, and his answer was basically passion, a life lived passionately with passion for something. Be passionate about something. I love learning new languages and studying arcane topics in history, particularly ancient history, and I love lifting weights and boxing/kickboxing/MMA. The hair on my head has not to do with my ability to learn and absorb these subjects, and it doesn't affect my body in any other way besides blowing off the keratin strands growing out of the top of my head. I can do all of that, no matter if a women ever shows any sexual interest in me ever again! Isn't that a better thing to live for than the approval of people who may or may not themselves be awful?
Last though, something from one of my recent obsessions, Norse mythology and history. The Havamal is the greatest poem of the poetic Edda, a collection of Norse epic poems that tell the stories of the Norse gods and heroes. In it, the god of wisdom Odin open up his treasures to mortals. Here is one passage which I think we ought to bear in mind:
69: "No one is totally wretched,
even if his health is bad--
some find happiness in their children,
some in their kin,
some in their money,
some in work well done.
70: Better to be alive,
no matter what, than dead--
only the living enjoy anything.
I saw a rich man's house,
but it was on fire,
and he lay dead outside the door.
71: A limping man can ride a horse,
a handless man can herd,
a deaf man can fight and win.
It's better even to be blind
than fuel for the funeral pyre;
what can a dead man do?"
So in closing keep your hair if you can, but don't let it stop you from living life passionately. The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, is a bald guy who really doesn't have the face for it, the prime minister of the largest democracy in the world, Narendra Modi, is a Norwood 4-5 with a big forehead and it doesn't look good on him (and he keeps the horse-shoe hair thick to boot). They're both awful people IMO, but they've certainly achieved great things in their lives (also Modi is volcel he got an arranged marriage but has never touched his wife lol). Some of the greatest leaders and thinkers of humanity have been bald men. So go forth! Keep what hair you can, let what hair you can't go, and have the wisdom to know the difference! Carpe Diem!
First 24 years of my life, I didn't really care about how I looked. I didn't even notice I was thinning until it was pointed out to me. After I got divorced I got very vain, in part of course because I realized that now I would need to head out onto the dating market if I wanted to get married again, which at the time seemed very important to me. I was thinning a bit but I was also using minoxidil (my ex-wife was very distressed about the idea of me going bald, despite her dad being like an NW5 lol), so for about 2 years after I got divorced I got laid like crazy, did a lot of stupid sh*t for sex since then tbh. But to be honest, none of it ever made me happy. I had good sex and bad sex, but the only time I was really happy was a very brief relationship I had which was way too sex heavy and not heavy on anything else important. After it ended I was devastated, she had left me saying I didn't make enough money, I devoted myself to self-marketing and increasing my IT knowledge so I could get out of basic home tech support and make more money. I succeeded, but again it provided me no happiness.
I'm getting pretty thin now with my diffuse shedding, but the biggest deal for me now is my self-image. I've been single with very few interruptions since 2015 now, but honestly two years out I am more OK with it. I actually don't want a relationship now, and I don't think I ever want to get married. My main reason for not wanting to lose my hair right now TBH is my own self-image. I based a lot of my identity on being good looking, and of course I realize I look much better with hair. I also can't imagine myself bald, the thought of seeing myself bald upsets me. But I've realized that these are my own hang-ups, even if I keep my hair I am going to get older. I need to accept that. As you can see at my intro thread, I am going to give finistaride a chance after years of avoiding it. But I've really come to realize that what's most important isn't what everyone else thinks of me, but what I think of me!
It'll be difficult to re-align my self image, but with a beard and a lot more muscle (I'm going to the gym everyday now) I think I could eventually grow to accept myself in the mirror. I'm not going to pretend that my dating prospects will be similar--I've met girls off of dating apps and banged them in my car (which at the time was tiny and I am over 6 feet tall lol) within an hour of meeting them, and I doubt that will ever happen again if I let my hair go. Although it was fun, is that really something to make myself miserable over losing though? I wanted a relationship at the time, and that never lead to anything but more sex. Besides being dangerous and illegal (we were in public lol), it was the equivalent of a drug hit....satisfying in the short term but ultimately unfulfilling. But as I've lived on my own for so long know (long story but my wife was in another country and we were waiting on her visa when we split) I don't really want to live with anyone else. My bic-bald brother has a girlfriend he lives with and it seems kind of awful tbh, she's always yelling at him for one reason or another. I understand sex is a natural drive but I think our very patriarchal, masculine culture makes us put more value into it than it deserves. I jack off constantly but I realize that it's more of an artificial habit than an intense desire, and as i try to cut it down and I find that I am happier as a result.
I guess my point is, the diminished dating prospects of balding aren't something to rave about but it's really not the end of the world. We ought not to build our entire lives out of whether or not a particular group of people (women) accept us as romantic partners or not. Ultimately, even if you have the hair of Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, their acceptance is ultimately not in your hands. If you build your happiness, sense of worth and will to live off of that, you're building a castle on a bedrock of sand.
So what should you build your life upon? Well ultimately that's something you've got to decide yourself, but I'll give you my 2 cents since you've read this far. I think it's self-evident that traditional religions are not true. I would argue further that their peculiar mix of mysticism and philosophy is more or less garbage, you can find all the good elsewhere and the bad is so intermixed as to be fundamental to the whole thing. I think it's also fairly obvious there is no paternal creator deity who cares about whether we are good or evil, whether we are happy or sad, when and how we live and die. So what's that leave us? Basically at nihilism, but that's bitter medicine to swallow and not very productive. Nietzsche realized this over 100 years ago, and his answer was basically passion, a life lived passionately with passion for something. Be passionate about something. I love learning new languages and studying arcane topics in history, particularly ancient history, and I love lifting weights and boxing/kickboxing/MMA. The hair on my head has not to do with my ability to learn and absorb these subjects, and it doesn't affect my body in any other way besides blowing off the keratin strands growing out of the top of my head. I can do all of that, no matter if a women ever shows any sexual interest in me ever again! Isn't that a better thing to live for than the approval of people who may or may not themselves be awful?
Last though, something from one of my recent obsessions, Norse mythology and history. The Havamal is the greatest poem of the poetic Edda, a collection of Norse epic poems that tell the stories of the Norse gods and heroes. In it, the god of wisdom Odin open up his treasures to mortals. Here is one passage which I think we ought to bear in mind:
69: "No one is totally wretched,
even if his health is bad--
some find happiness in their children,
some in their kin,
some in their money,
some in work well done.
70: Better to be alive,
no matter what, than dead--
only the living enjoy anything.
I saw a rich man's house,
but it was on fire,
and he lay dead outside the door.
71: A limping man can ride a horse,
a handless man can herd,
a deaf man can fight and win.
It's better even to be blind
than fuel for the funeral pyre;
what can a dead man do?"
So in closing keep your hair if you can, but don't let it stop you from living life passionately. The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, is a bald guy who really doesn't have the face for it, the prime minister of the largest democracy in the world, Narendra Modi, is a Norwood 4-5 with a big forehead and it doesn't look good on him (and he keeps the horse-shoe hair thick to boot). They're both awful people IMO, but they've certainly achieved great things in their lives (also Modi is volcel he got an arranged marriage but has never touched his wife lol). Some of the greatest leaders and thinkers of humanity have been bald men. So go forth! Keep what hair you can, let what hair you can't go, and have the wisdom to know the difference! Carpe Diem!
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