Is the main battle with yourself?

[zdm632]

That's my opinion. If you consider yourself inferior (because of any reason, hairloss included), you will be considered inferior also by other people, don't you think?

 

[CaptainForehead]

No, looks matter.

I don't consider myself to be inferior. I am ugly, but I have other positive qualities. My ugliness however make me inferior in the eyes of women.

 

[swingline747]

Ive said this, some people make themselves the victim. Depends on what aspect thought.
The problem is inferior in social standing and inferior as being attractive to the opposite sex are different. You can be fully confident and acceptable to yourself which might make people around you ignore your fault but that isnt going to make you more sexually attractive to the opposite sex.
I will say that I never act like a winy victim in public. In fact most people say I look mean or arrogant. When I was good looking with good hair this was great and helped attract the opposite sex but now it a hindrance.
So you can be seen as non inferior to men but women will still see you as an inferior mate. They respect and even ask your opinions but wont want to sleep with you.

 

[DoctorHouse]

That's my opinion. If you consider yourself inferior (because of any reason, hairloss included), you will be considered inferior also by other people, don't you think?

I don't agree. Most of my life, I had low self esteem and thought I was inferior to most men of my peers. That did not prevent women and yes even men from throwing themselves at me or people wanting to be in my company. But I will agree the battle is within yourself. You are your worst critic. And you tend to see things way differently than the average person. For instance, all my life, I never saw hair loss on other people as something that made they inferior. I thought it was a sign of more masculinity. It was only until I joined this forum that members have pointed it out that its the biggest nightmare.

 

[zdm632]

Can't agree more with what you said.

 

[bilboswaggins]

Any psychological issues I have directly stem from my hair loss. I know a lot of ppl will say "if you had a full head of hair, you'd just be depressed about something else". That is simply not true, my life was perfect before this sh!t

 

[scorpiolove]

I'm down on myself more than you can imagine. I have moments when I think I don't deserve everything I've got in life, that I'm a fraud somehow.

Yet I have friends and a girlfriend who think I'm great. Same with my family and most people around me. But I can't help judging myself very harshly.

I just try not to show it in my attitude and only discuss it with my psychologist or on this forum. Does all this negative thinking prevent me from being liked or attracting women?

Well not really. We are indeed our own worst critic. I'm always thinking I could do better, that I could get more girls, be more social, have more hair.

Yes the hair greed is real, I have an acceptable head of hair but I can't help myself, I'd like to have more. Of course I feel way better than before.

But there are moments when I think "maybe I would be happier, more liked and more successful if I had a little more hair." This is pure delusion of course.

Once you become "not bald" to others, there's nothing you can do hair-wise to improve your social value.

I think we should be more grateful for what we do have. I remember Spencer Kobren said that we don't have to be perfect in life. You just have to be good enough.

If you're good enough, you will be alright. I'm incredibly blessed and I try to remain aware of that fact. I am good enough, and I'm sure a lot of you on this forum are good enough too.

Thanks Fred for the last comment,much appreciated.
Your not inferior,
a mentally sound person will always want more money,more women, more hair, etc. We were taught this way of capitalism at our youngest most influential ages. Life is all about getting more and if you have more, you'll always want more. Bill Gates has billions of dollars, more than he'll spend in his whole life, same with Donald trump,
If your psycho, which I dont think you are at all, so are billions of other people wanting money and valuable stuff, I just call it the human condition.

 

[zdm632]

Yeah I've heard that crap many times too Bilbo. But my family and other ignorant people who said that can see it before their eyes now: I have my hair and no, I'm not depressed at all anymore.

There is hair loss, and then there are the other "problems". Like stress from the job or relationship problems (I don't have those and I refuse to deal with them).

These other problems... We all know they're not real problems, and everytime I hear people complain about that kind of problems, it just makes me want to slap them for being a little b**ch.

You're right!!! Maybe severe health issues can be worse than hairloss. Tiny little everyday "problems" others complain are absolutely nothing besides losing hair at 20 or 20-something. Because i admit it, even if now at 30 i almost got over hairloss issues, it bothered me very much from 23-28...and i feel i quite missed 5-6 years from my youth, one very important years.

 

[Nadester]

@zdm
Yupp severe health issues can be helpful for gaining sympathy plus you are given a green card to feel like sh*t from people but say you are losing hair, and you are either barraged with those pointless home remedies or just called a whiny b**ch.

 

[swingline747]

Yeah I've heard that crap many times too Bilbo. But my family and other ignorant people who said that can see it before their eyes now: I have my hair and no, I'm not depressed at all anymore.

There is hair loss, and then there are the other "problems". Like stress from the job or relationship problems (I don't have those and I refuse to deal with them).

These other problems... We all know they're not real problems, and everytime I hear people complain about that kind of problems, it just makes me want to slap them for being a little b**ch.

so how is hair loss not a medically covered problem then?

 

[zdm632]

so how is hair loss not a medically covered problem then?

It should be for young guys who have agressive hairloss even at 18-20.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

No it shouldn't. Acceptance is the medicine.

 

[zdm632]

No it shouldn't. Acceptance is the medicine.

I agree, but acceptance of baldness at 20 years of age is kind of hard.
Of course a realist person accepts it at some points(even if some may not fully accept it even at old age), but when you're very young, it's not that simple.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

I agree, but acceptance of baldness at 20 years of age is kind of hard.
Of course a realist person accepts it at some points(even if some may not fully accept it even at old age), but when you're very young, it's not that simple.

Yes, I was sly a 24 so I know how hard it is to function bald. My reasons for hating baldness appears to be different from most on here.

 

[swingline747]

Yes, I was sly a 24 so I know how hard it is to function bald. My reasons for hating baldness appears to be different from most on here.

which is?

 

[2bald2young]

For those of us who've had battles within ourselves most (or all) our lives and now consider hair loss the final nail in the coffin, here's a question I ask myself often: Would I rather grow all my hair back and have it until I die BUT never rid myself of all my other psychological issues, or would I rather lose my hair and not care about it AND have all my other issues disappear along with it, having inner harmony until I die? My answer is always getting back my hair, since I tell myself that that would make everything that's weighed me down disappear, that growing my hair back would miraculously do what no psychologist and no pill could ever do for me. Would you guys struggling with other issues not caused by hair loss rather be a happy bald man, not giving a sh*t how women perceive you, or have a full head of hair but never, ever being free from whatever else gets you down?

Tough question but it depends on what the other things are that gets one down. If life was perfect before hairloss I think choosing hair would be an easy decision or when the other things that got you down aren't so bad but if it is bad what then? For me inner harmony most likely won't make me happy. But never ever being free of those other things that got me down won't make me happy either. This would be more of a lose/lose situation for me.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

which is?

A myriad of reasons why I hate being bald. How I am treated by the masses, having to adopt a look that I don't want, just to look half decent, loss of identity, not being able to blend in(especially as a natural introvert), and looking uglier.
Most on here are kids who want hair mainly to attract women. Nothing wrong with that, but when some posters are stating they so handsome before hairloss, and now they are obtain 5s, then its pure vanity. That high school jock, macho bulls**t. Strutting, preening, posturing alpha-male jackoffs. The same people who would ridicule me for the way I look generally.
Perhaps losing half a dozen strands will promote some humility.

 

[hellouser]

No. I'm fine with myself. My problem is with people pegging me as inferior.

 

[templerecess]

No. I'm fine with myself. My problem is with people pegging me as inferior.

Your problem is that you live in Toronto, Canada. Get out m8.

 

[uncomfortable man]

That's my opinion. If you consider yourself inferior (because of any reason, hairloss included), you will be considered inferior also by other people, don't you think?

Disagree, I know im a good person with much to contribute. I know I am not inferior. The problem is once you start visably loosing hair all the way up to real baldness, you are barraged by messages both overt and covert telling you are inferior and worthless. I dont care what anybody says, it's hard as shi7 to not let all that constant negativity get you down. Because once you start to believe those messages and internalize them, the downward spiral begins. So no, its not in our heads. Descrimination against bald people is as real as ever. When I am out I act like swing does, I stand up straight and hold my head up high....but that doesnt stop people from laughing and pointing at me. Society has a problem with bald people... to me this is just an indisputable fact. Just look at how we are portrayed in the media to prove my point. Baldness woudnt be nearly as much of an unpleasant experience as it is if it werent for it being stigmatized so heavily.