"Just friends"

[CCS]

And men are shallow too. We just line up for sex with pretty women, but don't try to get money from average women.

It goes back to biology: women want good genes from one guy, and money to raise the kids. Guys want to spread their genes. But if a guy thinks he successfully impregnated the best woman he can get, he will do everything he can to make sure that offspring makes it to adulthood.

If a woman thinks the father is ugly, she will not love the kid as much, and may want to abort it. There are studies showing that mothers are not as nice to their infants if they don't think they are cute. Why invest energy in offspring that don't have the genes to last generations? How much a parent loves their kids is proportional in part to if they think it is theirs, and how much their like their partner. And I've seen this first hand while watching mothers with their kids.

 

[mpbsux20]

If a woman thinks the father is ugly, she will not love the kid as much, and may want to abort it. There are studies showing that mothers are not as nice to their infants if they don't think they are cute. Why invest energy in offspring that don't have the genes to last generations? How much a parent loves their kids is proportional in part to if they think it is theirs, and how much their like their partner. And I've seen this first hand while watching mothers with their kids.

Man I couldn't agree with you more but this doesn't happen all the time.There are plenty of mothers who love their kids no matter how ugly they are.

 

[CCS]

Men are just as guilty of this as women are, though a woman is much more likely to complain before birth because of her big investment, or have strong mixed feelings after birth since she already made the investment. Her huge investment in the pregnancy explains why women are so extremely emotional at that time.

There are parents who are willing to adopt, and love a child, but it is a selfless love. They are self sacrificial to help the child. That is hugely different from the love of a biological parent who thinks their kid's DNA has a chance of succeeding. That biological parent is helping the child for selfish reasons, not selfless reasons. When they look at the child, they see a copy of themselves at a younger age, combined with the their favorite partner's DNA. They will gladly do anything to help that child succeed since they think it is part of themselves, but a part that can live on longer than they can. We all do selfless things sometimes, because we are a social species and survived based on social cooperation. But our selfish tendencies are much stronger and seen within the immediate family.

Not everyone is the same on this. There is genetic diversity which also keeps our species adaptable. 1% of people are sociopaths. But the most common traits are most common because they get their genes passed on the most. The other ones come back only because they are recessive genes that come up every once in a while even if they don't get passed on directly.

 

[s.a.f]

CCS I think its fair to say that you talk more sh*t about something you know nothing about than anyone on here.

The things you say are grossly offensive to all women including the mothers, wifes, sisters and daughters of everyone on here. But particularly when you think about women who are caring for children born with genetic defects and serious medical problems.

It all becomes clear your lack of success with women when your opinions are like this. Obviously this vibe comes across in real life too and sends the women running.
Clearly you have convinced yourself of these theories in order to delude your mind and offer yourself a explanation for your own failures with the opposite sex.

 

[CCS]

SAF must have missed the part where I said men are just as guilty. Why do you think so many guys don't stick around to raise the kids of women they don't find attractive? But if the woman is very attractive, they would want to raise the kid even if she was gone.

As for women smelling me a mile away, it has nothing to do with SAF and his phylosophical reasons. It is simply a matter of if you don't offer to pay a prostitute, she won't waste her time on you. Same is true with men. If a woman convinces a man she won't have sex with him ever, he will probably move on. Women do like sex, but they like it with hot guys, or like to get paid and not have to have sex with average guys.

Some women are willing to settle, but they like to drink a beer or two so they can say that was they reason they settle, and can go back to playing hard to get the next day when they point out they are sober.

 

[Mens Rea]

CCS you really misconstrue things

You say "ugly" people cheat on their good looking partners because of anger etc? No....not every couple work on that ratio of how good the other looks. If the ugly one is pretty good with women (assuming im talking about a man here) if he cna get more decent looking girls, he might just avail of this and be a cheater. Simple. I see it all the time. The good looking girl is innocent.

You see, what happens in the REAL world, when a girl actually does get to like you, these factors become smaller and smaller.

I know because ive been with many girls much more attractive than me yet i have them working to get my attention. They actually see me getting attention from other good looking girls too which makes them more jealous

In all - its all about value and perceived value. The easiest social proof is being good looking but its not the only social proof - its just the simple one.


I see these girls hooked up on other guys who arent necessarily that good looking, getting approached by really handsome guys but yet these girls are no more interested. Why? Becuase of what i said. Girls are all different, its definately more complex than you think but you'll never appreciate that if you dont have the real experience that i and many others have. (sorry to sound a douche im not trying to be im not any kind of sex-god!!)

 

[Aplunk1]

I get rather bummed reading some of these assertions. Surely, no one thinks of women in these terms?

CCS, is there no calm in your mind, man? Or, are you always jumping to the hypothetical?

 

[Bald Dave]

Been there, done that and wouldn't do it again! Was "just friends" with a girl for a year and when she would flirt with other guys in front of me it would drive me nuts! I have since cut contact with this girl and have never looked back! I would never go down that road again.

 

[Ori83]

Been there, done that and wouldn't do it again! Was "just friends" with a girl for a year and when she would flirt with other guys in front of me it would drive me nuts! I have since cut contact with this girl and have never looked back! I would never go down that road again.

THANK YOU!

that's exactly what im trying to avoid.

i found an article that sums it nicely... http://www.zewb.com/just-friends.htm

 

[s.a.f]

That article is bang on the money!! Wise up my fellow Norwoods :hump:

"I just want to be friends. No, don't feel bad! It's not you it's me.. You're SUCH a sweet guy! Honestly, you're not the type I'd date, you're the type I'd marry."

When I get that line now I say "Well that's too bad because you're not the type I'd marry, you're the type I'd F&#k." Then I go call the next woman on my list.

I've heard that line more than I'd like to admit and it still stings every single time. What she's really trying to tell you is that you messed up somewhere. It doesn't matter how but she's not attracted to you, she doesn't view you as a man, and probably never will. The more you try to win her the more idiotic you'll appear to her. This is where men will start bringing women flowers, poetry, and other nonsense in an effort to win her heart. You have become her puppy dog.

But you're welcome to stick around to become her emotional tampon if you'd like. She'd be delighted to tell you all about the latest guy problems she's having, about how they all treat her like crap and why oh why can't they all be sweet and sensitive just like you are.

She doesn't really want sweet and sensitive. She wants a man, and you've given her the impression that you aren't one. Maybe you showed too much interest too fast. Maybe you didn't make a move physically when you should have. There's usually a window of opportunity that you need to take action during. Miss it and it's all over.

The fact is that once you're "just friends" you'll never hit it, ever. It's a slow descent into friendship hell for you my friend so unless you enjoy going out for coffee and listening to the woman you want talk about other men, just move on.

 

[Ori83]

"Little" follow up on subject: (be prepared! )

It seems fail following my own advice lol, anyways another girl just poped the"just friends" card now, i know her for 3 months or so and we have a REALLY good connection, i been to her house couple of times (nothing happened) and she was at mine - we study together, i figured we can be school buddies and leave it as it is yet i always wanted more than that, i never told her but i knew she knows cause we was flirting alot and talked almost every day for hours, i never made a move since i was too busy with school and waited for the semester to end so i can open up to her, my initial plan was to take her out and make a move if it feels right, and i tried to ask her out a month ago, she bailed on me and the day after called to say that is sorry and she fell asleep, back than i thought she was blowing me off so i didnt pressure her for a second date obviously, today we talked on the phone for 3 hours and one thing lead to another and i told her that im interested in her and want to try to give us a shot in more then just friends so it would be nice to go out... and then it came lol, she told me that she loves me like a brother ( :shakehead: ) but she is not attracted to me physically (yes yes, the destructive force of the norwood strikes again..) and thats not the end of it... i asked her if maybe its because she has someone else that she never told me about... and she replied that she has a f***- buddy, a stupid move by my side was to ask her who he was, she described to me a guido/chav alpha male sort of a guy... i felt repulsed by the thought that she rather f*** some moron in a meaningless relations while me ("the good guy" lol) offering something more, its like i "lost" to the bad guy in a sense (i know its stupid)...
Guys, i know i shouldnt give a f*** but i really feel bad, its being a long time since i got my heart broken and i thought that wont happend to me never again but it did, i really have no idea what to do with her right now, we really have good friendship going on, i was 100% sure she was attracted to me all that time she was seeing "other guys" and ever ever (not even once) mentioned that she had a f*** buddy nor that she tried to date couple of times, why would she hold that from me - is beyond my understanding.
im not sure what my next move should be.. should i cut her althgher? should just ignore her? should i stay around as a school friend (that wont be easy to hear about the guys she dates) ... im not sure what i should do here, anyone was in the same situation that can throw a lil help would be great at this awkward moment.

sorry for the long post, thanks for listening

 

[oni]

If the shoe was on the other foot, would you tell her you had a f*ck buddy, please don't say yes!

This girl is using you as a walking ego boost, why would she tell you anything that would stop you doing what you are doing!

Stop being a bloody door mat, forget about this girl, she is a lost cause.

Move on but be polite about it.............................................

 

[s.a.f]

today we talked on the phone for 3 hours and one thing lead to another and i told her that im interested in her and want to try to give us a shot in more then just friends so it would be nice to go out... and then it came lol, she told me that she loves me like a brother ( :shakehead: ) but she is not attracted to me physically (yes yes, the destructive force of the norwood strikes again..) and thats not the end of it... i asked her if maybe its because she has someone else that she never told me about... and she replied that she has a f*ck- buddy, a stupid move by my side was to ask her who he was, she described to me a guido/chav alpha male sort of a guy... i felt repulsed by the thought that she rather f*ck some moron in a meaningless relations while me ("the good guy" lol) offering something more, its like i "lost" to the bad guy in a sense (i know its stupid)...

Yeah f*** that b**ch, and just wait until this guy does something to hurt her and then you can expect her phoning you up for some non sexual, comforting. While she says "why cant I ever meet a 'nice guy' ('like') you.

 

[Ori83]

Stop being a bloody door mat, forget about this girl, she is a lost cause.

Move on but be polite about it.............................................

Thanks oni, i needed that! (good to see you can make non-cynical comments at times )

Yeah f*ck that b**ch, and just wait until this guy does something to hurt her and then you can expect her phoning you up for some non sexual, comforting. While she says "why cant I ever meet a 'nice guy' ('like') you.

i know i sound like a douche but it will be interesting to see what her reaction if she gets hurt.... :innocent:

 

[Bald Dave]

today we talked on the phone for 3 hours and one thing lead to another and i told her that im interested in her and want to try to give us a shot in more then just friends so it would be nice to go out... and then it came lol, she told me that she loves me like a brother ( :shakehead: ) but she is not attracted to me physically (yes yes, the destructive force of the norwood strikes again..) and thats not the end of it... i asked her if maybe its because she has someone else that she never told me about... and she replied that she has a f*ck- buddy, a stupid move by my side was to ask her who he was, she described to me a guido/chav alpha male sort of a guy... i felt repulsed by the thought that she rather f*ck some moron in a meaningless relations while me ("the good guy" lol) offering something more, its like i "lost" to the bad guy in a sense (i know its stupid)...

Yeah f*ck that b**ch, and just wait until this guy does something to hurt her and then you can expect her phoning you up for some non sexual, comforting. While she says "why cant I ever meet a 'nice guy' ('like') you.

LOL this happend to me! After the chav used the girl that i secretly liked she emailed me wanting a shoulder to cry on. I ignored the email and haven't looked back. Best thing I ever did unk:

Ori83, you need to cut contact with her asap even if she begs you to be her friend. Why should you be second best to a chav? You are worth more than that! Believe it or not there are women out there that like nice sensitive guys but they are few and far between. Chin up mate and go out with your friends (not female ones) and do the stuff you enjoy doing. All the best.....

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah f*ck that b**ch, and just wait until this guy does something to hurt her and then you can expect her phoning you up for some non sexual, comforting. While she says "why cant I ever meet a 'nice guy' ('like') you.

i know i sound like a douche but it will be interesting to see what her reaction if she gets hurt.... :innocent:

Her reaction will simply be to use you as an emotional blanket, and to reassure her ego. Until she finds herself another nw1 alpha male to drop her knickers for.
If this was going anywhere she'd have already chosen you over this guy, since he sounds like he's just using her to empty his sack, I would'nt be at all suprised if this guy did'nt already have a GF that she knew all about.

 

[Nashville Hairline]

Been there and got hugely burned...avoid becoming the "friend" as early as possible and let her know your feelings. The worst bit is thinking that it's going to mess up everything. Well it might do that but at least you are being honest with her and that is ultimately respecting her and importantly respecting YOURSELF

 

[Ori83]

Ori83, you need to cut contact with her asap even if she begs you to be her friend. Why should you be second best to a chav? You are worth more than that! Believe it or not there are women out there that like nice sensitive guys but they are few and far between. Chin up mate and go out with your friends (not female ones) and do the stuff you enjoy doing. All the best.....

thanks Dave! sometimes i feel as there are no more "normal" girls left, although hard to admit but i think that this was a wakeup call for me to lower my standards - just as i expect a girl to over-look my baldness i should over look her shell for deeper qualities, its amazing that the looks and inner qualities are crossed linked almost every time :thumbdown2:

Her reaction will simply be to use you as an emotional blanket, and to reassure her ego. Until she finds herself another nw1 alpha male to drop her knickers for.

i dont want to see her gets hurt really, its not like she is deliberately trying to hurt me, i guess why i feel bad is because this "case" represent how society is inflicted these days to go for looks (we are in a times where many females actually prefer to go with a chav with no future just because he resembles some movie player, and "normal" guys who dont like playing games has less opportunities, reminds of that movie - Idiocracy)

Been there and got hugely burned...avoid becoming the "friend" as early as possible and let her know your feelings.

thats one of the lessons i learned this round, thats and maybe not to care so much about girls at this point...anyway, thanks Nashville for reinforcing

 

[s.a.f]

Her reaction will simply be to use you as an emotional blanket, and to reassure her ego. Until she finds herself another nw1 alpha male to drop her knickers for.

i dont want to see her gets hurt really, its not like she is deliberately trying to hurt me, i guess why i feel bad is because this "case" represent how society is inflicted these days to go for looks (we are in a times where many females actually prefer to go with a chav with no future just because he resembles some movie player, and "normal" guys who dont like playing games has less opportunities, reminds of that movie - Idiocracy)

Yeah she's just avoiding giving you the harsh truth but the reality is although she likes you its not going to be enough because she just does'nt fancy you enough for it to work.
I just want to spell out this lesson to all the young guys on here because its a trap that so many fall into.
If you want a girl you keep hanging on there trying to work your way in but the truth is it'll never happen. I've wasted so much time on this myself, but now I realise they know pretty much within the first few minutes if their interested in you sexually and if their not you wont change their views by being the sweet/nice guy.
Be direct about what you want guys and if its not happening move on and dont invest anymore effort.

 

[Bekim]

"Little" follow up on subject: (be prepared! )

It seems fail following my own advice lol, anyways another girl just poped the"just friends" card now, i know her for 3 months or so and we have a REALLY good connection, i been to her house couple of times (nothing happened) and she was at mine - we study together, i figured we can be school buddies and leave it as it is yet i always wanted more than that, i never told her but i knew she knows cause we was flirting alot and talked almost every day for hours, i never made a move since i was too busy with school and waited for the semester to end so i can open up to her, my initial plan was to take her out and make a move if it feels right, and i tried to ask her out a month ago, she bailed on me and the day after called to say that is sorry and she fell asleep, back than i thought she was blowing me off so i didnt pressure her for a second date obviously, today we talked on the phone for 3 hours and one thing lead to another and i told her that im interested in her and want to try to give us a shot in more then just friends so it would be nice to go out... and then it came lol, she told me that she loves me like a brother ( :shakehead: ) but she is not attracted to me physically (yes yes, the destructive force of the norwood strikes again..) and thats not the end of it... i asked her if maybe its because she has someone else that she never told me about... and she replied that she has a f*ck- buddy, a stupid move by my side was to ask her who he was, she described to me a guido/chav alpha male sort of a guy... i felt repulsed by the thought that she rather f*ck some moron in a meaningless relations while me ("the good guy" lol) offering something more, its like i "lost" to the bad guy in a sense (i know its stupid)...
Guys, i know i shouldnt give a f*ck but i really feel bad, its being a long time since i got my heart broken and i thought that wont happend to me never again but it did, i really have no idea what to do with her right now, we really have good friendship going on, i was 100% sure she was attracted to me all that time she was seeing "other guys" and ever ever (not even once) mentioned that she had a f*ck buddy nor that she tried to date couple of times, why would she hold that from me - is beyond my understanding.
im not sure what my next move should be.. should i cut her althgher? should just ignore her? should i stay around as a school friend (that wont be easy to hear about the guys she dates) ... im not sure what i should do here, anyone was in the same situation that can throw a lil help would be great at this awkward moment.

sorry for the long post, thanks for listening

maybes you likes goat! :hump:

maybes lady see the goat ands Ori83 :hump:

alsos maybes Ori83 smellings likes goat sh*t

this alsos nots so goods for makings approach ons lady


Bekim