life seems worthless

[couldbebetter]

Losing my hair has really not helped my depression at all. Who'd have thought.

 

[Primo]

It's never been about sex for me as much as it is centered around social acceptance. Once I went bald, I noticed people started treating me with much less respect and sometimes being outright disrespectful towards me without any other provocation from me other than my baldness. That is when I realized that many people are truly shallow in nature and extremely judgemental.

Quoted for 100% truth.

If this was simply about sex and girls, then we could all just adopt the tough guy, baldy beefcake look like Seb and still go out and get the odd quality lay every so often, I've seen myself that this is possible and some legit hot girls do respond to this look.

As UCman says however, the much bigger and life changing problem is the disrespect and huge plummet in social status you suffer in they eyes of other men and your social peer group as you go bald, it's not simply just women.

Guys and people in general (not just girls you're trying to bang) will judge you as a weak and inferior loser in almost every social situation and look down upon you as if your genetic baldness is a personal failing or character flaw.

From my own personal experience at least THIS lack of social acceptance is what takes its toll and crushes every bald guys self esteem and confidence over time, not the odd nasty look or brutal rejection from a random girl, yes that hurts, but even full heads get brutally rejected sometimes too.

Social Acceptance on the otherhand is a very basic human need as we know from Maslow, so it's almost impossible to not be depressed without it.

 

[g.i joey]

Quoted for 100% truth.

If this was simply about sex and girls, then we could all just adopt the tough guy, baldy beefcake look like Seb and still go out and get the odd quality lay every so often, I've seen myself that this is possible and some legit hot girls do respond to this look.

As UCman says however, the much bigger and life changing problem is the disrespect and huge plummet in social status you suffer in they eyes of other men and your social peer group as you go bald, it's not simply just women.

Guys and people in general (not just girls you're trying to bang) will judge you as a weak and inferior loser in almost every social situation and look down upon you as if your genetic baldness is a personal failing or character flaw.

From my own personal experience at least THIS lack of social acceptance is what takes its toll and crushes every bald guys self esteem and confidence over time, not the odd nasty look or brutal rejection from a random girl, yes that hurts, but even full heads get brutally rejected sometimes too.

Social Acceptance on the otherhand is a very basic human need as we know from Maslow, so it's almost impossible to not be depressed without it.

Couldn't have said it better.

 

[Ts99]

24 years old - UK - healthy yet unhappy due to the loss, counciling doesn't work.

Hair loss started about a year and a half ago, hit me like a train I do not cope at all and you may say I'm weak and everything but if I could kill myself I would.

I can't help how I feel about it l, if I could control that I would, I'm at the stage where it seems like the only way out but I'm not selfish enough to put my family through the pain. Right now what I'm going through is a breakup with a GF of 3 years while going bald.

Life is hard and never thought a year ago I would be sitting here saying its a matter of time before I give up.

 

[EvilLocks]

24 years old - UK - healthy yet unhappy due to the loss, counciling doesn't work.

Hair loss started about a year and a half ago, hit me like a train I do not cope at all and you may say I'm weak and everything but if I could kill myself I would.

I can't help how I feel about it l, if I could control that I would, I'm at the stage where it seems like the only way out but I'm not selfish enough to put my family through the pain. Right now what I'm going through is a breakup with a GF of 3 years while going bald.

Life is hard and never thought a year ago I would be sitting here saying its a matter of time before I give up.

This is what I'm feeling as well. If I didn't have a family that loved me, I would have killed myself a long time ago. I just can't take the thought of them mourning me, so I stick around, but I'm not really living - just staying alive. Also like you my relationship with what I thought was the love of my life ended, even though it is a long time ago now, it still hurts. Every so often I feel like giving up, but I just carry on and take it day by day. That is my best (and only) advice: Just try and get through today, not worry about tomorrow, next month or year. If you can manage the pain for one day, and then repeat the next day.

 

[Dench57]

Right now what I'm going through is a breakup with a GF of 3 years while going bald.

Been here too. A few months after my aggressive balding started, my girlfriend of 3 years dumped me. Felt like my whole world was ending and because I was balding it feels like I'll never get another girlfriend. Time has helped me move on from her, unfortunately time is running out for my hair.

 

[shookwun]

Been here too. A few months after my aggressive balding started, my girlfriend of 3 years dumped me. Felt like my whole world was ending and because I was balding it feels like I'll never get another girlfriend. Time has helped me move on from her, unfortunately time is running out for my hair.

Very sad reality. Almost relatable to those in relationships and one of the partners develops cancer and are dieing. Eventually they separate because the decay, degrade in attraction, and appeal is diminishing.

Its so pathetic but we as men wouldn't think twice either. If a women developed a horse shoe pattern of hair loss with the same odds as a man, it would be mutual segregation. survival of the fittest, eliminating those with recession genes from procreation. We seek the best, and it's little surprise why a women would leave a bald man for a privledged.

Its hard to accept but I can't blame them for their choice, I mean why would they want to be with a bald man when they can have a hair. Its harsh but the reality.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Hair loss robs so much life-force from us. Sometimes it's the thought of a loved one that gets me up each morning. So in a way I get to live because of that. I am grateful to belong in this category: Those lucky enough to be loved. I'll consider this another privilege I hope I don't lose prematurely like my traitorous hair.

 

[Exodus2011]

ok lets stop acting like a guy with a horseshoe is the same as a girl with one . . . . come on hair is much more important for femininity than masculinity

 

[EvilLocks]

ok lets stop acting like a guy with a horseshoe is the same as a girl with one . . . . come on hair is much more important for femininity than masculinity

Finally someone who gets it. It will never be worse for a man to lose his hair than it is for a girl to lose hers. Although of course it is soul destroying for both sexes. I would not wish baldness on my worst enemy (if I had one).

 

[Wolf Pack]

I don't know anyone sane who would say otherwise. It's definitely worse for a woman. Nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. In a male being pretty bald is a disfigurement and you're below others. But at least you have company, in the sense that it's "normal" for many guys to have this look. A woman I have never seen bald in my life, some slight thinning at most yes. So I can understand EvilLock's anguish, well presuming her hair loss is actually bad and not just some thinning.

On the plus side EvilLocks you can wear a wig with more social acceptance and dating should not be hard either if you're pretty. But I know you want hair more than anything, understandable.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Yes a wig is not necessarily a badge of acceptance either. We can look better and still feel defeated.

 

[2bald2young]

Now I think about it for a bald male it is unacceptable to wear a wig and he is supposed to walk with a shaven head. But for a bald women it is "unacceptable" to walk with a shaven head and she is supposed to wear a wig.

 

[EvilLocks]

I don't know anyone sane who would say otherwise. It's definitely worse for a woman.

Captain Forehead.

So I can understand EvilLock's anguish, well presuming her hair loss is actually bad and not just some thinning.

My hair loss is moderate to advanced, and with the pattern it's pretty clear that in the end I'll be lucky to keep any hair at all. My thinning is diffuse, with the sides worst hit.

On the plus side EvilLocks you can wear a wig with more social acceptance and dating should not be hard either if you're pretty. But I know you want hair more than anything, understandable.

I'm pretty (not without hair of course). It's not about social acceptance for me, but rather being a wig prisoner for the rest of my life. Of course I'd rather want real hair over being condemned to a wig.

- - - Updated - - -

Yes a wig is not necessarily a badge of acceptance either. We can look better and still feel defeated.

You get it. A wig won't make me feel better, but rather being something I'm a prisoner to. I can't see the fun in that.

 

[shookwun]

Yesterday I was chilling with my group of friends, and it was the first time the girls mentioned my buzzed head with a sort of giggle. It hurt for like a second, but then I joined in the joke and was like "Yup im going bald, IDGAF!" Which is obviously not true, I do care. And then we had fun for the next 6 hours.

My point is, the human mind likes to give so much more importance to the negative things, especially if they are directed towards you. I can say that I used to never remember compliments, but I always remember the hurtful jokes directed towards me. But now that Im trying to change my ways and stop being so sensitive, jokes dont bother me as much as they used to.

I was born with only one arm, so I got called "one arm boy" quite often growing up. That hurt so much, in elementary, middle, and high school. Its cuz I never stood up for myself, and people can see your weakness. Now if someone makes a joke about it (which rarely happens now because im 19, and people are more mature in college), but when it does happen, I stand up for myself and get in their face (lol) or I just dont bother.. They look like the douchebag, I dont.

I dont have it that bad, but when my balding gets advanced, I WILL try my best to not let it get to me. One second of someone making fun of me will not overshadow all the amazing moments in my life. I can understand how balding extremely affects your dating game, but I just dont see how it can affect your life with family and friends. Yeah, yesterday my friends made a joke, but I owned up to it and plus they dont know any better. I've realized from people making fun of my race and disability, the more emotion you show when people make fun of you, the more you will get picked on. Stand up for yourself, or dont let it bother you and show that you're not affected by it. Gotta show some dominance, or else people will walk all over you.. ya feel me?

Must be hard, good on you for being optimistic at the worst of times.

Just wondering are you still a virgin or did you manage to get laid in your current situation?

 

[Exodus2011]

no wonder jsmith doesn't care about balding as much . . . . i thought it was being low norwood but he has bigger issues like having one arm. . . . . wow

and wolf pack it has a lot to do with femininity lol, long nice hair is considered feminine for women 0_0

 

[Wolf Pack]

no wonder jsmith doesn't care about balding as much . . . . i thought it was being low norwood but he has bigger issues like having one arm. . . . . wow

and wolf pack it has a lot to do with femininity lol, long nice hair is considered feminine for women 0_0

Yes it's definitely essential and feminine Ex, I love it. My point was more that I don't feel that's the reason a balding woman has it hard. It's more that there are a limited number of bald women which makes it harder. If more women went genuinely bald then this whole hair = feminine wouldn't matter, as it would normalise the thought of a bald woman. Just my theory bro.

- - - Updated - - -

You get it. A wig won't make me feel better, but rather being something I'm a prisoner to. I can't see the fun in that.

Yes I get that too. But better to have a crutch, then none at all. You may get used to it and like it. Many women change their hair colour and extensions frequently, you could make a wig semi cool.

 

[shookwun]

I just recently tried to kill myself. Again. The panic response is a ***** to deal with. I wish it was easier to kill myself, but that's not going to happen. There's always pain or mess or even harming others involved. . .

Anyway, if life sucks, just curl up in your sheets and cry it out. You might feel better.

Which method?

 

[Illu2ion]

This is not really related to this discussion but I'm just curious: Fred, have you ever tried finasteride in the past? You're one of the main posters on this forum who talks a lot about being bald (I know you aren't anymore because of hair transplant) and how much if negatively affects different areas of life, but I only recall you taking minoxidil. Have you tried finasteride but you couldn't handle the sides? Or did you not want to swallow a pill like finasteride for the rest of your life or something like that? It's just that it would baffle me if someone who is heavily affected by male pattern baldness would have only tried minoxidil and nothing else.

 

[Illu2ion]

I see, sucks man :/