Men are as good as their worst trait.

[I.D WALKER]

I have to butt in here Joan for a moment. (It's become a tradition.)
If one twin exhibited your lovely personality more than the other.., your question would be so much easier.

If a guy into big boobs, for example, has a set of beautiful twins to choose from, identical in almost every way except: The one who is an F cup is bald, and the other is an A cup with a full head of gorgeous hair. Which one do you think would be more desirable to sleep with? It's just a question out of curiosity.

 

[ajbrah]

You guys are ridiculous. If you're balding, get a buzz and deal with it. Hell, I had a buzz despite being NW1 and I wouldn't have looked any worse with an NW3.
Very few people, incl. women, care about your hair loss. Money and personality are a billion times more important than your hairline. Worrying about having a perfect head of hair is beta male behavior and you probably need therapy.

 

[ajbrah]

Wrong, looks trump everything else in 2015.

Also, there are no beta and alpha males. Believe it or not, humans are not wolves.

I wonder how you would have reacted if you had to deal with a slick NW5 at 22 like I did.

You would probably be singing another tune than that alpha/beta PUA BS.

You are defending yourself because you are a beta male. You have no muscle tone whatsoever and look about 120 pounds soaking wet - that is going to make far more negative an impression on women, employers, and other men than your hairline.

Thanks for the negs too.

 

[Joan]

I have to butt in here Joan for a moment. (It's become a tradition.)
If one twin exhibited your lovely personality more than the other.., your question would be so much easier.

I.D, you are truly one of the sweetest men on earth. :heart:

 

[hellouser]

You are defending yourself because you are a beta male. You have no muscle tone whatsoever and look about 120 pounds soaking wet - that is going to make far more negative an impression on women, employers, and other men than your hairline.

Thanks for the negs too.

Ridiculous.

 

[hellouser]

Let's say there are alpha and beta males, like with wolves. Do you think they can switch roles? Of course not, it's predetermined.

Why do you think it would be different with humans? Do you think that if you're 5'5 and become "huge", you will trick women into believing you're an alpha male?

I weigh 155 pounds, but I'm also 6'3. You still want to believe that if you have muscles, then baldness won't matter. We've established many times on this forum that it's utter BS.

We have a bodybuilder among our ranks (swingline) and he was jacked before and after hair loss. After he became nearly bald, the attention he got from women disappeared.

How are you going to explain that with your privileged fullhead logic? Oh maybe he stopped being confident? Stop denying the obvious: hair matters a lot.

You're still talking about my "hair line" and that shows you still have full head of hair. I was bald, like shinny slick bald at 22. No hair line at all.

Like employers are going to give a f-ck about your build. Baldness discrimination is real, and the only for you to find out is to become bald yourself.

So, wait until you're bald.

I've never heard an employer say to a potential candidate during an interview "Do you even lift? Take your shirt off and show us."

You can't hide a receding hairline or thinning hair... that's clear as mud.

AJBRAH: I have an offer for you; Shave your head... but not all of it. Just the top portion, but with a razor so theres NO visible hair there at all. Leave the sides and back no shorter than a few millimetres. Once done, I want you to keep this look for 3 months minimum. While you've got this look, I want you to do the following; make a tinder profile, see how well you fare. Go to bars, try to pick up women... hell, try incorporating 'confidence' into your pickup game. Change your facebook profile photo and wait for comments. Go for a job interview. Try flirting or even simply being friendly with female cashiers, hostesses, etc. Seriously, do it... I'll even give you a good amount of money. Better yet, document your progress and put up a video. Wanna up the stakes? Leave the sides of your hair long.

But I know how this offer will play out; you won't do it because you know you're deathly afraid of doing so. You'll use the response of 'that's ridiculous' and the conversation to hide your denial of the reality of baldness being seen as a disgusting unwanted trait. The money offer itself would only play a factor of how much you'd receive, but even if.... you're still not bald. Telling you to experience what us balding men have to go through would be fraud for you. It'd be no different from having you to sit in a wheelchair to know what it's like being crippled. You're still privileged and will continue to be so until you end up in the same miserable reality the rest of us are in.

 

[DannyBoyy]

I've never heard an employer say to a potential candidate during an interview "Do you even lift? Take your shirt off and show us."

You can't hide a receding hairline or thinning hair... that's clear as mud.

AJBRAH: I have an offer for you; Shave your head... but not all of it. Just the top portion, but with a razor so theres NO visible hair there at all. Leave the sides and back no shorter than a few millimetres. Once done, I want you to keep this look for 3 months minimum. While you've got this look, I want you to do the following; make a tinder profile, see how well you fare. Go to bars, try to pick up women... hell, try incorporating 'confidence' into your pickup game. Change your facebook profile photo and wait for comments. Go for a job interview. Try flirting or even simply being friendly with female cashiers, hostesses, etc. Seriously, do it... I'll even give you a good amount of money. Better yet, document your progress and put up a video. Wanna up the stakes? Leave the sides of your hair long.

But I know how this offer will play out; you won't do it because you know you're deathly afraid of doing so. You'll use the response of 'that's ridiculous' and the conversation to hide your denial of the reality of baldness being seen as a disgusting unwanted trait. The money offer itself would only play a factor of how much you'd receive, but even if.... you're still not bald. Telling you to experience what us balding men have to go through would be fraud for you. It'd be no different from having you to sit in a wheelchair to know what it's like being crippled. You're still privileged and will continue to be so until you end up in the same miserable reality the rest of us are in.

To be fair most guys who accepted being bald and shave (like me) dont even have that look, me and many others dont like it hence why we shave it, fair does to whoever has it though. You dont have to have it either, its called shaving noone is forcing us to walk round like it if you dislike it.

 

[I.D WALKER]

A good woman (rare to find) like yourself can't help but bring out even some of the worst embittered guy's better angels. Your opinion is and will forever be sacrosanct. Remember to never forget that.

I.D, you are truly one of the sweetest men on earth. :heart:

 

[blackg]

- - - Updated - - -If anyone thinks someone dealing with hairloss is doing any type of "crime" then thats just silly, anyone with a brain can tell they cant help it, even if they shave by choice it be silly to think the same. And yes there is women who don't like bald guys, its their preference.

Actually Danny. A persons hair loss really highlights the LACK of brain cells possessed by the vast majority of society. You know, to them, we could all just get back our hair if we wanted it, right?
We are just lazy and have poor taste.
"Damn!! That's what all those adds on TV tell me."

And yes, again, the vast majority of humans are offended by a visually "ugly" person.
Its a very subtle, even unconscious, "offence taken", but it still happens. That's just in the adult world.
With kids and teenagers its open slather on the abuse an "ugly" person will receive.

 

[DoctorHouse]

A good woman (rare to find) like yourself can't help but bring out even some of the worst embittered guy's better angels. Your opinion is and will forever be sacrosanct. Remember to never forget that.

ID Walker, Life would be so perfect for you if Joan was single and available.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Hello Doctor.,

Joan deserves your compliment exclusively.

She has a beautiful and close knit family that suits her quite well and respecting her and her boundaries as I do so deeply (as you do also) renders

me consummately contented to carefully continue nurturing my special friendship with her. Perhaps in another lifetime and if I am worthy, she will

graciously crown me her king.

Your ideas (my sweet friend) nonetheless, create a bedazzling vision.

 

[Joan]

A good woman (rare to find) like yourself can't help but bring out even some of the worst embittered guy's better angels. Your opinion is and will forever be sacrosanct. Remember to never forget that.

Once again I learned a new word from you!

All I can say is, you don't live with me, and it's not always easy--believe me. You, on the other hand, are the angel and don't come across embittered in any way, shape or form. I hope you are being treated like a "king" by your woman because I get the feeling you give more than your receive.

- - - Updated - - -

ID Walker, Life would be so perfect for you if Joan was single and available.

I don't know about "perfect", DH, but we'd sure have a lot of fun.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Yes we would have fun
and our work would just have to wait a lot longer before we got started.

 

[I.D WALKER]

**** happens to most of us.

You'll get a resounding howl for that one. Haha

- - - Updated - - -

Men also have been spoon fed "Be Confident Cereal " since we first started gumming ("Big boys don't cry..,").

We've just had to wear our tough shell a little longer and consequentlly acquired more practice than our lovelier counterparts.

 

[I.D WALKER]

What I have seen in the dating world is many women have been "abused" by men in their past and when they find a truly great person they either don't trust them or they think its too good too be true.

It's always comforting to see the good Doctor is still "in". More special yet, one who makes house calls.

I just would like to add that as "truth-seekers" while life whips up more than enough crow for us to stomach,

it is essential (moreover to those whom desire to reap dividends of personal growth),

we have to commit to learning how to trust ourselves more.

Not wishing to play the chronic killjoy here,

but we must come to terms with ourselves FIRST and be more satisfied within,

in spite of our private, spiritual battles we confront daily,

which very often finds ourselves alone.

 

[EvilLocks]

I doubt there are many men who could live with a hypochondriac in full-worry mode, when that person is convinced beyond a doubt she has a terminal illness. I've "had" just about everything and probably did more harm than good with all the tests I've been able to get doctors to order for me.

Joan, I'm a hypochondriac as well. I've also had every test under the sun and thought I had many (rare) diseases. I swear one time I thought I had a fatal form of insomnia that would kill me in a matter of months. This particular disease is so rare it's only found in about 40 families in the world. Needless to say I'm still alive, so I didn't suffer from that disease lol. But it didn't stop me from worrying. I've also been convinced I had stomach cancer and a brain tumor, to mention some. I don't suffer as much from hypochondria anymore, but I constantly worry about the future - especially my hair. For once I now suffer from a real problem that can actually be seen, compared to before when I thought I was dying of this and that disease. All I can say is my heart goes out to you, I know very well how difficult it can be to be a hypochondriac. And yes, we are difficult to live with, not going to deny that...

 

[macbeth81]

This is one reason why I'd hate to be a man, because women can be afraid, weak, cry, etc., and it's ok. Men can too, but they are expected to hold things in and have a "tough shell." A few weeks ago, I was out with several couples, and the subject of Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner came up. I said that I didn't blame him for wanting to be a woman because it's harder to be a man. Oh, God, wrong thing to say. The women disagreed, and the men said nothing.

They can disagree all they want, but there is a reason the suicide rate for men is almost four times higher than women.

The men not speaking up are shameful. You see this amongst so many couples. The men either outright deny reality or remain silent in order to pacify their SO.

With regard to expectations of holding things in, I recall being at a zoo and seeing a young child crying. Her mother (I assume) told him “Suck it up, and be manâ€￾. Women despise weakness, thus a male must always appear strong. This is taught at an early age, as clearly exhibited at the zoo.

 

[I.D WALKER]

That's interesting and insightful you mention Ms.Jenner, Joan,

considering she was once the poster child of American testicular fortitude.

To my earlier point about cereal, not so long ago lot of little boys were happy to sneak a second helping of Wheaties each morning quite convinced it

was essential sustenance all winners needed to succeed in order to grow into real straight and strong men.

- - - Updated - - -

Joan I also admire the fact that you are a free thinker and will speak your views even at the risk of the listener's disapproval.

That is the mark of a real warrior queen.

If I had (and this is probably a consensus) the power to erase all your most oppressive worries, I would in a heartbeat.

 

[Rudiger]

Imagine for a second that there is a woman that suffers from hairloss. Now imagine that this woman also happens to have huge F cup breasts. Does her hairloss matter? Maybe it matters for her "confidence" or whatever, but in the real world it makes almost zero impact on her dating options. This is because men see the best traits in women. If a man sees a woman that has a trait that he likes such as big tits OR big *** OR wide hips OR pretty face, then her flaws basically don't matter.

But women only see the WORST traits in men. For example: Being tall is a desirable trait for a man to have, but if you're a NW7 then women won't give a **** that you're 6'3 - all they will see is a bald man. Give any man a NW7 haircut, even a male model, and he suddenly becomes ugly. Same thing goes with height. A guy might have it all: good looks, thick NW1 head of hair, good personality. But if he's 5'4, then he becomes utter **** in the eyes of women. To women, men are as good as their worst trait.

This was such a good point and great phrase "Men are as good as their worst trait" but you used such an awful example of a bald woman, yes that really does matter for a lot of guys, even the more desperate of us. The (usually) more soft and rounded female face along with their more, baby-like head shape, is even worse for a woman than most bald guys. Worse still is that it's rare to see a bald woman, it's instantly concerning and weird, even worse than a bald guy because society may look down on bald guys quite a lot but it's still not exactly a head-turner or anything when people see a bald guy in public, we're all pretty used to seeing it.

But anyway, yes women are forgiven for a lot of bad traits when guys can't really get away with having 1 bad one, I agree with the sentiment. It doesn't exactly always apply but generalising, sure.

 

[I.D WALKER]

You and Joan:heart: touched on the crux of it.
I think society forgives women more because it is taboo, particularly for males, to demonstratively voice/express any other contrary sentiment.:nono:

Even violent career convicts get quite upset. :twisted:

Of course it is generally nice(er,est) to keep negative personal commentary about a person's appearance in check,

but to be fair, for anyone to be permanently shackled to this societal restraint,

tends to violates an important part of the individual's progressive evolution;

Our honest selves, essentially

who we are now and who we are becoming.