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Really man, I can relate to much of what your writing here, even the coding stuff. Always excelling(relatively to my environment) in mathematical and logical ''problems'', I thought coding would be a walk in the park. It wasn't :/ Hope you find a good strategy there... Hard work!
Also, I'm off experience that *a lot* of people pretend all of the time. In fact, they pretend so hard, that when they're finally alone and there's no-one to pretend to, they're experiencing a mini existencial crisis because they feel so empty inside. Of course, no black and white there like in most of the ''real world'', but I have to say - I've never bonded with a real extrovert.
Programming is mostly congenital.
I knew a lot of people who were fluent in math/physics or even electrical engineering but sucked in simple programming exercises. Vice versa also happens.
Most of the companies have both scientists and programmers in their state.