Not wanting children

[epictetus]

Has anyone here considered not having children due to not wanting to either have your children or grandchildren suffer the misery of going bald? I have this recurring nightmare of my offspring blaming me for passing on my defective hair genes.

"Thanks, now I'm bald because of you, a**h**!"

Of course, this presumes that I'll ever trick a woman into finding me attractive enough to mate with. Perhaps my concern is premature.

 

[ali777]

It has crossed my mind but my answer is a very big NO.... I would have kids no matter what.

Given the fact that 50% of all men are likely to be bald/balding at 40, being bald is not out of the norm. So, it's not exactly a defective gene, it's very normal.

You are just too paranoid.

 

[GeminiX]

Agree with Ali, I think you would benefit massively from a boost in self confidence

 

[s.a.f]

I dont really want kids - too much f*****g hassle!
I think theres too much pressure put on people by society to 'breed' like you're somehow a failure if you dont do it.
I also hate the way many people who have kids seem to think they're somehow more important than people who dont have them.

 

[ali777]

I dont really want kids - too much f****ing hassle!
I think theres too much pressure put on people by society to 'breed' like you're somehow a failure if you dont do it.
I also hate the way many people who have kids seem to think they're somehow more important than people who dont have them.

I don't agree with the pressure part, but I agree with the rest. I don't think there is that much pressure on us to breed apart from our mothers saying that they want grandkids :dunno: ... Saying that, I do want to have my own family one day...

I don't want to sound like I have a life plan, but I would like to be married in the next few years and become a father a year or two later.

I think kids are great. They are hassle but they make you feel alive, at least that's how I feel. I also think that we are preprogrammed to want to have kids. I'm not saying there is something wrong with you for not wanting kids, but it is a natural process for the majority of people.

There was an article about "perfect family" on BBC online the other day. I think the article was based on statistics collected on the happiness level of families. The ideal age to marry for men is 31, with the bride being 2 years younger. The couple should have dated for 3 years before getting married and they should have a baby in 2 years after getting married. Our perfect couple in question has sex 3 times a week.

I kinda agree with those stats, and that makes me 3 years too late. I'm 31 and "available". I should have been making wedding plans now instead of looking for my perfect partner :woot:

Anyway, most of us at 30+ have enough experience to know what works and what doesn't (CCS take note). I have a rough idea of what would make a perfect partner for me and how to treat her.

 

[Fundi]

Absolutely not.

Having no kids will impact your life far more than going bald will. - Assuming you wanted kids in the first place, you'd miss out on SOOOOOOO much.

Not to mention the fact that

a) 50% chance it may be a girl
b) A chance even if it is a boy, they do not get male pattern baldness (Or until a lot later in life)
c) A bigger chance that they'll react it like most men do 'It's a shame, but I might as well get on with my life...'
d) If the above do not apply, even if you had a kid tomorrow, it'll probably be 20 years at the earliest before they would need to worry. Hopefully, treatments will be better by then/a cure (fingers crossed).

 

[ali777]

Yes, I have considered this. I have come to to the realization that total losers like me should not even consider bring an innocent child into this world to suffer much of the same fate as me - this being they would inherit the genetic makeup of a very ugly person, not to mention that the poor SOB with have a complete social failure for a parent. I couldn't bear to do that to a child. So "no" - no children for me.

BTW, I wish my parents would have considered this! :woot:

Have you ever considered the fact that having a family might have benefited you? I mean a stable and happy family?

In my adult life, I was most productive when I was in a stable relationship. I admit that the failure of a relationship was also the most destructive thing I had to go through.

I think a stable and settled lifestyle with a loved one is the best option for anyone.

 

[heyitsthatguy]

"Thanks, now I'm bald because of you, a**hole!"

.

Laughed so hard at that part, no one would ever say that so don't worry. Would you say it too your dad? I doubt it... unless it was as a joke .

If you want kids don't let that stop you, they could always get thier mothers genes or you might not even have boys. And even still, if you kid did turn out bald, im sure he'd choose his life without hair, over no life at all.

 

[Bald Dave]

I do want to have kids but when I am much older. I think when I finished with the night clubs, the exciting holidays etc it will time for me to settle down with my wife and have some kids. At the moment im only 27 and I feel I am way too young for kids now. I think late 30s would probably be an ideal time to have kids.

For all those people who say that they are not worthy of breeding then I have to say that you are taking this hairloss thing a way bit far! Ok it does crush your confidence but why should it destroy your lives? Do people with big noses say "oh I've got a big nose, I better not have kids or my kids will start blaming me because they've inherited my big nose" :dunno:

 

[ali777]

I do want to have kids but when I am much older. I think when I finished with the night clubs, the exciting holidays etc it will time for me to settle down with my wife and have some kids. At the moment im only 27 and I feel I am way too young for kids now. I think late 30s would probably be an ideal time to have kids.

I don't like passing judgment on people, but don't you think late teens and early 20s are the time to go clubbing? I think you'll soon tire with that lifestyle. I got fed up with it all when I was around your age. I still go out, but not as often.

TBH, the only reason I go out is so that I don't end up sitting at home on my own all weekend. I don't particularly enjoy the whole pubbing and clubbing scene anymore. My mates went hiking the last weekend, this is something that I find more interesting at the moment.

I also think it's healthier to do some of the "exciting" holidaying stuff with the family, you'll have lots of memories together as a family. I have been to a few countries (I actually lived in 3 different countries), but I haven't done too much of the touristic-y stuff. I'm gonna do that with my future family.....

I should get off this thread... I sound broody, or like a hormonal ovulating woman :whistle:

 

[Nashville Hairline]

I think I'd be (hypothetically) upset if my Dad had decided way back when not to have kids cos he was going bald.

 

[barcafan]

I'd definitely want to have kids, preferably a boy though. I think i'd be able to teach him alot.

 

[casperz]

"Thanks, now I'm bald because of you, a**hole!"

LOL... they'll blame you for a lot bigger things than baldness.

 

[iwantperfection]

i def want kids. about two. would like a boy so i could play footy with him. thats a while away yet though! marriage definately first. im actually considering proposing soon. scary. :crazy: :woot:

 

[cuebald]

hey, hopefully by the time I can get a wife and my kids grow up, HM will be out! (or another sort of cure!)

 

[ClayShaw]

Didn't want kids before, definitely not now. My genetics (beyond premature baldness) are not good: Stupidity, acne, depression...
this is sort of a moot point anyways. To have kids, you must first convince a woman to sleep with you, unless you're a sperm donor.

 

[Eureka]

It's not so much about having kids, it's about not being someone who doesn't.

Those people are always lacking in some way shape or form. They are the ones annoyed by everything, and they have a fuckton of animals. Those people who wouldn't throw the ball back over their fence. Those assholes.

If your stupid, and worried about passing that on. Simply fornicate with a woman of Asian decent. As for baldness, by the time any child being born today is old enough to experience male pattern baldness, we will have treatments which will make it an inconvenience rather then something that can ruin your life.

The only people who should avoid having children, are people from the south.

Everyone should have kids. And for those who can't raise them, same sex couples can adopt.

 

[s.a.f]

Everyone should have kids.

Why, I swear if I ruled the world you'd need a license to breed.[youtube:1nr2s0l7]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-mJbMm8854[/youtube:1nr2s0l7]

 

[ali777]

Everyone should have kids.

Why, I swear if I ruled the world you'd need a license to breed.

I used to have an interest in eugenics when I was younger, but I have been in contact with enough people to know that most of our traits are a combination of nature and nurture. The problem with eugenics is that it completely ignores the role of education and nurture in our development.

For example, if you go with eugenics, you'd assume that everyone in Australia should be a criminal, but they are doing very well for themselves.

We could also argue that an offspring of an uneducated person is likely to be a failure because the kid will not get any help at home, but that would be wrong as well. There have been many successful people in history who come from very poor backgrounds.

In fact, nurture and education are probably more important than nature in the development of the new generations. Eg, look at the Northern Europeans, in a few generations the average height has gone up by 5-6 inches. The only explanation is improved education and nurture.

I say let the gene pool take care of itself.

 

[s.a.f]

Hmm, the apple never falls to far from the tree.
Just go to any poor innercity housing estate and see the feral kids aged 10/11 still hanging around the streets at 11.30 pm. And the 17 yr old girls who's lifeplan is to get pregnant and live off the state, why? Because they've seen their own mothers do it and it seems an easy option.
I'm not saying that everyone is like that or that the offspring of the lower class cant succeed, but the fact is in most cases its highly unlikely.