Nothing pays off..

[Aplunk1]

After promising myself a year, giving a concerted, orchestrated effort to finish up with school... everything falls apart, eventually. Nothing was meant to stay.

Allocated funds dwindle, not enough time... It's time to sell my car, and maybe my other possessions... like my guitar. Not enough to get by.

As I am nearly done with half of my schooling, I find that I might have to take a long break from school and get a city job. Nothing pretty, but it makes a living.

After all this head-banging, intense studying, nothing pays off.. I get a city job, and that's it for now.

Even after all these treatments, I still hate my hair... I am unkempt. I hate my complexion, and I hate the fact that I cannot overcome my social anxiety. I hate the fact that I can't get it up while on Propecia.. I hate the fact that there is no net easiness in anything I've accomplished thus far.

I hate it. Canceling the gym pass. Can't afford decent clothes or food. Can't afford cable.. Can't afford a girlfriend..



And to all you stupid goatfuckers out there who constantly COMPARE my life to a life much worse... THAT'S NO f*****g WAY TO LIVE. How the f*** can you keep comparing my situation to that of a poor beggar in a third-world country?

Why can't you simply gauge your own life standard by your personal happiness? Why is everything a goddamned comparison for you? Can no one accept that maybe I'm unhappy with MY life, and that thinking of being BETTER than a poor shithead is not acceptable?


Time and effort amount to nothing..

It all comes down to money..

Not everyone's situation is made better by comparison. Some of you guys have no f*****g clue..

One of the few things that provides consolation is the liquor I drink every night.. And go ahead and make that comparison, because that's the best way to handle a negative situation..

 

[Aplunk1]

It's not enough..

I was never a bright kid, never had the capacity to finish anything in my life.. Maybe I was put on ADHD medication too soon. Maybe my parents scarred me. Maybe I was picked on too much..

Who the f*** knows.. But I do know that for some people, time and effort just don't do sh*t. Sometimes, and for some people, their situations don't get better with concerted effort.

"WELL, turn to God!"

No, absolutely not. I will not turn to "God" so that I can overlook the shitiness of my situation... Ignorance is bliss, right?

I DO want things to get better, but they don't. But turning to God won't do anything.

For most of you, you want MATERIAL things..

For me, I just want to be happy with myself, and that doesn't involve material things so much. It involves feelings of accomplishment, and that's something I don't often attain.

 

[BornBaldDieBald]

After promising myself a year, giving a concerted, orchestrated effort to finish up with school... everything falls apart, eventually. Nothing was meant to stay.

Allocated funds dwindle, not enough time... It's time to sell my car, and maybe my other possessions... like my guitar. Not enough to get by.

As I am nearly done with half of my schooling, I find that I might have to take a long break from school and get a city job. Nothing pretty, but it makes a living.

After all this head-banging, intense studying, nothing pays off.. I get a city job, and that's it for now.

Even after all these treatments, I still hate my hair... I am unkempt. I hate my complexion, and I hate the fact that I cannot overcome my social anxiety. I hate the fact that I can't get it up while on Propecia.. I hate the fact that there is no net easiness in anything I've accomplished thus far.

I hate it. Canceling the gym pass. Can't afford decent clothes or food. Can't afford cable.. Can't afford a girlfriend..



And to all you stupid goatfuckers out there who constantly COMPARE my life to a life much worse... THAT'S NO f****ing WAY TO LIVE. How the f*** can you keep comparing my situation to that of a poor beggar in a third-world country?

Why can't you simply gauge your own life standard by your personal happiness? Why is everything a goddamned comparison for you? Can no one accept that maybe I'm unhappy with MY life, and that thinking of being BETTER than a poor shithead is not acceptable?


Time and effort amount to nothing..

It all comes down to money..

Not everyone's situation is made better by comparison. Some of you guys have no f****ing clue..

One of the few things that provides consolation is the liquor I drink every night.. And go ahead and make that comparison, because that's the best way to handle a negative situation..

So, your hair loss triggers these anxious, depressed emotions? Seems like having hair isnt really going to help. Good luck though.

 

[blondeguy]

Those comparisons are made to give perspective to people who clearly don't have it. Do you really think you're the only person in the world who gets nervous around crowds and has money troubles? You can either complain or be happy. You pick.

 

[Nathaniel]

Dude, I suffer from social anxiety too. What you need to do is get out of your apartment. Trust me, I went to counseling, anti-depressives etc none of that works until you start practicing. How are you going to overcome anxiety if you sit down at home doing nothing. You need to enroll in some type of activity that you like, get a goal and get out of that routine you are stuck with. You need a change of life, change of pace. Try something different. If you feel you need to take a break from studying, do it.

Good luck

 

[antonio666]

Aplunk i agree with everything you say,these people who compare their situation to that of the thied world make me sick,i mean in life you are meant to aspire to the best you can,but when you get tour life raped from your grasp,you are angry,that anger will take me to the grave.

my time on this mortalcoil is coming to an end after the 12 month period of when i started treatment,if by then it is still not acceptable to me i will kill myself,because i cannot live without a decent head of hair,3 months into treatment things are still bad and to be honest i don't expect them to get better

 

[Aplunk1]

This thread, and the recent thread I created in the Impact of Hairloss Forum, haven't been fully understood.

Antionio666 touched on one aspect of the true meaning of my post, but I disagree with him. Having a full head of hair doesn't constitute a good life, and he knows that...

Nathaniel,
I am outside of the house all day. I am also jogging for long periods, hang out and eat lunch with some kids at the school, and spend a large amount of my day outside the apartment.

Blondeguy,
I know you're trying to help, but it's not like that... It's not as though I can pick up, stop complaining, and my life will be happy. You, too, are not seeing the meaning of my post. I am trying, and I am attempting to live a fulfilling life. But I am attempting to illustrate that, no matter what happens, this life is not a fairy tale. No matter how hard one tries, there is not always a happy ending.

 

[omgstfuty]

Aplunk,you remind me of me right now at this current moment.
I feel trapped ina world that I dont belong in at the moment.And I know it sounds daft but the only solice I get is from watching a BBC series called Life On Mars, which is about a bloke in a coma trapped in 1973.I feel alive from watching this because I can relate.What the f***?
I know its not my hair-loss that is controlling me, and I belive its not what is truly holding you.
f*** it, Im going to see a psychologist in 2 weeks,just to re-train my brain into better thinking.Because its as simple as it says, a good psychologist will make your brain perform in a positive way.IF, that doesnt work im going to a hypnotherapist.
Aplunk, I think you should too.Give it a go.Its not just for weirdos and f***-ups (thats what I used to think).
I think it should be done for every man on here to be honest.

 

[barcafan]

You have to try to free yourself from the grip of technology, its doing alot of damage. If you were to live in the country for half a year your head would be SO f*****g clear.

 

[Knendell]

I have a depressive personality AKA Bipolar disorder. Ihave panic attacks that keep me from doing the most mundane things. I am Agoraphobic because of this. My quality of life is crap and alonely one at that. I have 24K in savings and make around 70K a year so money is not an issue. I am going in the NW5V direction and have never even been laid. All of this caused by my mind. I try but get nowhere also. I just take one day at a time. If hair was my only problem I would trade in a heartbeat. Point blank there are individuals that will never have a normal life and will suffer. i am one and I see possibly a few more on the forum. People that do not know the chronic aspects of these troubles will never comprehend. I have no answers for anyone in a similiar situation because I am struggling myself. My rant...

 

[Aplunk1]

I have a depressive personality AKA Bipolar disorder. Ihave panic attacks that keep me from doing the most mundane things. I am Agoraphobic because of this. My quality of life is crap and alonely one at that. I have 24K in savings and make around 70K a year so money is not an issue. I am going in the NW5V direction and have never even been laid. All of this caused by my mind. I try but get nowhere also. I just take one day at a time. If hair was my only problem I would trade in a heartbeat. Point blank there are individuals that will never have a normal life and will suffer. i am one and I see possibly a few more on the forum. People that do not know the chronic aspects of these troubles will never comprehend. I have no answers for anyone in a similiar situation because I am struggling myself. My rant...

Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, gsrx60097.. I am very sorry to hear this, but I am very happy you contributed. I feel like this, myself.

 

[Knendell]

The thing that really hits me is what the OP commented on. Accomplishments. I am a very attractive person and have a good personality. I had the world in my hands but because of the hand I was dealt it was all taken away. I try to remind myself of the things I do have and can do but the things that really mattered to me I will never have. Hair is not one of them either. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other until my time has ended. Whatever way that is...Sorry for the bluntness to the "normal" people on the board but when you have been through the war I have been you tend not to sugarcoat things. Besides I am having a manic episode now so things are flowing...

 

[Guest]

After promising myself a year, giving a concerted, orchestrated effort to finish up with school... everything falls apart, eventually. Nothing was meant to stay.

Allocated funds dwindle, not enough time... It's time to sell my car, and maybe my other possessions... like my guitar. Not enough to get by.

As I am nearly done with half of my schooling, I find that I might have to take a long break from school and get a city job. Nothing pretty, but it makes a living.

After all this head-banging, intense studying, nothing pays off.. I get a city job, and that's it for now.

Even after all these treatments, I still hate my hair... I am unkempt. I hate my complexion, and I hate the fact that I cannot overcome my social anxiety. I hate the fact that I can't get it up while on Propecia.. I hate the fact that there is no net easiness in anything I've accomplished thus far.

I hate it. Canceling the gym pass. Can't afford decent clothes or food. Can't afford cable.. Can't afford a girlfriend..



And to all you stupid goatfuckers out there who constantly COMPARE my life to a life much worse... THAT'S NO f****ing WAY TO LIVE. How the f*** can you keep comparing my situation to that of a poor beggar in a third-world country?

Why can't you simply gauge your own life standard by your personal happiness? Why is everything a goddamned comparison for you? Can no one accept that maybe I'm unhappy with MY life, and that thinking of being BETTER than a poor shithead is not acceptable?


Time and effort amount to nothing..

It all comes down to money..

Not everyone's situation is made better by comparison. Some of you guys have no f****ing clue..

One of the few things that provides consolation is the liquor I drink every night.. And go ahead and make that comparison, because that's the best way to handle a negative situation..

i have to agree with you, here aplunk. i hate this comparition too. its so stupid , so f*****g stupid. because there always someone who has it better or worse. always. if not on this planet, then on another. you can go on your whole life comparing a situation to another and it doesnt make the one situation one is in on bit better.
even always this comparisation to the third world. i just hate that. the most people in the third world are actually happy. so what is worse for them, please? my mum always comes up with these comparisations. though one thing you can learn from it. if a disabled person is able to lead a happy life, your hairloss shouldnt be a reason why not to be happy. but i know , you got other problems there.

but i got to say here, be happy with what you got. no matter what you got, try to be happy. think of everything beautiful there is in your life and im sure there is much if you just think a bit about it.

and if you re working hard on your life, maybe you got the wrong strategies and tactics. i have been in these situations. you fight for your life to become something better and nothing changes. i understand that you are frustrated. what helps is go on fighting for it and search for other ways. other ways to get out of the crap life and get to a fulfilling happy life. search for other ways and think much about what you could change.

hard working is only one part. the other is working on the right things the right way. think about what you re doing wrong.

but never give up! never give up your dream (which is in your case a happy fulfilling life)!

 

[blondeguy]

Again, you aren't the only ones to have bad situations or mental disorders or whatever. My mom's side of the family is full of people on meds for various reasons. We've all made life mistakes or had things taken away from us. Why dwell on it if we're going to die anyway? May as well enjoy life. I always remind myself, "In a hundred years, nobody's going to care."

 

[Guest]

Again, you aren't the only ones to have bad situations or mental disorders or whatever. My mom's side of the family is full of people on meds for various reasons. We've all made life mistakes or had things taken away from us. Why dwell on it if we're going to die anyway? May as well enjoy life. I always remind myself, "In a hundred years, nobody's going to care."

thats a good attitude, in a hundred years, nobody's going to care, really. :!: yes, if you dont have hair , look like sh*t, are poor , have only one arm, dont have friends, dont have a future, have mental problems, sure in a hundred years noone is going to care.

right? who cares about the people in hundred years? they are irrelevent. i want to have EVERYTHING and that NOW. and im not giving up that dream, just coz some people in hundred years dont care.

i mean should one give up his dreams and his life just coz in hundred years nobody's going to care?

you cant "just be happy". there are always things you need to be happy.

 

[Guest]

i got to say though, sometimes its good to think like that , that in a hundred years, nobody's going to care. but better is to think NOW nobody cares. and that is the fact about hairloss. nobody cares about it.

but if you think that in a hundred years nobody's going to care and thats your attitude towards life, then you are pretty much fucked and wont get anything in life.

 

[blondeguy]

i mean should one give up his dreams and his life just coz in hundred years nobody's going to care?

you cant "just be happy". there are always things you need to be happy.

No, you can be happy in yourself. It's not that you give up anything, it's that you realize the insignificance of the things that worry you. In a hundred years, you'll be dead, and new people will be worrying about new things. A hundred years later, they'll be dead. The problems you think are major are only major to you. The Buddhists have a term called Tanha, which is wanting things because you believe it will make you happy, which leads to more Tanha in an unending cycle. Until you stop perceiving the world in terms of what gives you pleasure and what doesn't, you can't see the world as it really is.

 

[Guest]

i mean should one give up his dreams and his life just coz in hundred years nobody's going to care?

you cant "just be happy". there are always things you need to be happy.

No, you can be happy in yourself. It's not that you give up anything, it's that you realize the insignificance of the things that worry you. In a hundred years, you'll be dead, and new people will be worrying about new things. A hundred years later, they'll be dead. The problems you think are major are only major to you. The Buddhists have a term called Tanha, which is wanting things because you believe it will make you happy, which leads to more Tanha in an unending cycle. Until you stop perceiving the world in terms of what gives you pleasure and what doesn't, you can't see the world as it really is.

so you shouldnt try to get better things into your life like more hair, more money or more of whatever? my attitude in life is to go for success whereever i can. i want to be successfull in everything which means something to me. that is looks, money, relationships, knowledge and abilities. yes that is what i want in my life. and im trying hard to get much of these things.

you on the other hand seem to be fine with what you got. you dont try to get a better life. you are just happy with what you got.

my attitude is a bit the same. i try , too, to be happy with what i got, but i always try even more to make my life even better.

i know from studies that beautiful or rich people arent more happy than the rest. well, that may be.

but for me, life is not all about happiness. happiness is not everything there is in life. my life is for success. and second happiness. or both on first rank. im not sure. but i know that you can be successful and happy.

every person has his or her own attitude towards life and his/her own goals.

your main goal seems to be happiness, mine is more success. and it starts with my hair. i want to be successfull in regrowing it because it matters to me. i want to be successfull in everything which matters to me.

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

Aplunk, don't sweat not graduating. I am graduating with a bachler's degree and a 3.8 gpa and I still feel like sh*t. The economy just sucks ***. No jobs out there.

What does an Oceanography degree get you? A student loan to pay off.... thats about it.

Getting a degree is not the root of your depression so earning one will not cure your sadness. I know cause obviously I am in hell with you.

You both know what would make us happy. Imagine waking up tomorrow a thick NW1. You would pass the hell out and go crazy when you wake up because you would be so damn happy.

 

[blondeguy]

so you shouldnt try to get better things into your life like more hair, more money or more of whatever?

Those things are fleeting and unsatisfactory (dukkha). You should seek the things in life that yield true satisfaction.

you on the other hand seem to be fine with what you got. you dont try to get a better life. you are just happy with what you got.

You can be happy with what you have while trying for a better life. I just don't let meaningless distractions get in my way.