One Centimeter From Suicide, Can't Hold It Anymore

[rafiles]

First post ever on hairloss forums, I imagine its the last, no exaggerations, no whining, just the horrible truth. I never imagined in my worst nightmares that in my mid twinties instead of having a booming career and a great life I would be struggling so much and waking up in the nights with anxiety and stress and severe depression, NO ONE knows what you feel unless he suffers the same sh*t. Now to the situation, If I was a NW3 crying about my hairline I would say I am a pathetic loser who can't cope with a managable situation by medicines and hair transplants, my situation is this, NW6(a clear pattern with little thinning hair all over the scalp) rushing to NW7 and diffuse all over my large skull, one year on finasteride to stabilize my remaining hair (was trimming my hair very short during my teens so couldnt know my hair's situation except for the receding hairline and didn't care), had a hair transplant in a leading clinic before a couple of months) for the frontal third but it made me feeling worse knowing that I will need years to wait to see how the pattern Continues", the Doctor kept saying "Don't rush" , how the hell can I not rush as a young guy in his twenties? Its not only that it makes you uglier, with this severe hair loss at this age its about you being distorted, deformed, uniquely rare. Now to the worst point, I had a beautiful face untill the age of 18 and looked even younger, I'd say easily 7/10, my genetics from one of my parents' side kicked in and in a couple of years lost the hair, the skin aged, hair grew up in all other places except for my head!!!, I am paralyzed, my career is paused, can't work, can't think clearly, developed a BDD because of my hairloss, all the pathetic losers that used to be jealous from me now can't hide their smile because of my hairloss , IT DOES NOT MATTER If you were nice your whole life to people, when you're falling everyone feels satisfied and less miserable about himself, hairloss is just a death sentence, knowing that you cant cure it with your situation, even if you have all the will and the ability to try and find a solution across the globe, I cant believe this is happening to me, why not to rapists? Why not to murderers? Why not to A Douche who made fun of people? Why me? Why for someone who never ever belittled someone? Why for someone who is so altruistic and spent his f*****g teen years helping f*****g humanbeings with volunteering everywhere and always had a f*****g low profile so people won't feel bad for themselves. There are no w****s in the world, w****s are w****s because life turned on them and this is their only escape to make money and live, the only wh*** is mothernature and its unpredictable surprises.

You really want an answer from balding people. Simply don't look at the mirror and take the medicines. Maybe your 30th birthday you have NW0.

 

[Lastcall1]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

 

[CopeForLife]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

That escalated fast. You lived almost a year from the first post, how was it going?

 

[Guzam]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

Fellow sufferer, I suggest you not to do it. You have no certainty about the cure. It may come out at any time. If there's consciousness after death, I bet you would be extremely pissed if you ended it now and saw that the cure gets out in 2018. Just hang in there and vent here. It's hard, it will never be good, but there's always something to live for.

 

[kj6723]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

Do you have any interests/passions not involving social approval that you could live for? Please don't kill yourself man. Where there is life there is possibility

 

[buckthorn]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

Please don't do it... everything is WAY worst in your head. People don't give a f*** about your balding, they really don't. People are too selfish and spend all their time thinking about themselves. No one is going to mock you, and if they do f*** THEM... THEY are the weak parasites. THEY are trash on THE INSIDE.

Please take a moment to remember ALL the beautiful things in this world. Nature, animals, hobbies, anything that is worth living for. I too am severly diffused thinning in the NW7 pattern, with a bad hair transplant and a six inch scar. There are a lot of us out there. I just saw one at home depot. Big scar on the back and I was the ONLY one who noticed.

You're a good guy. You're here for a reason. People WILL be devastated if you leave.

 

[Roberto_72]

Friend,
Please talk to someone and don't hurt yourself.
Here is a list of people you can talk to whatever your nationality.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

 

[resu]

Our brain matures at a different age, it will be a mistake ending it shortly, you won't know how you will feel in 7 years from now, what progress will be made, you're not thinking clearly.

 

[HankPentagon]

First post ever on hairloss forums, I imagine its the last, no exaggerations, no whining, just the horrible truth. I never imagined in my worst nightmares that in my mid twinties instead of having a booming career and a great life I would be struggling so much and waking up in the nights with anxiety and stress and severe depression, NO ONE knows what you feel unless he suffers the same sh*t. Now to the situation, If I was a NW3 crying about my hairline I would say I am a pathetic loser who can't cope with a managable situation by medicines and hair transplants, my situation is this, NW6(a clear pattern with little thinning hair all over the scalp) rushing to NW7 and diffuse all over my large skull, one year on finasteride to stabilize my remaining hair (was trimming my hair very short during my teens so couldnt know my hair's situation except for the receding hairline and didn't care), had a hair transplant in a leading clinic before a couple of months) for the frontal third but it made me feeling worse knowing that I will need years to wait to see how the pattern Continues", the Doctor kept saying "Don't rush" , how the hell can I not rush as a young guy in his twenties? Its not only that it makes you uglier, with this severe hair loss at this age its about you being distorted, deformed, uniquely rare. Now to the worst point, I had a beautiful face untill the age of 18 and looked even younger, I'd say easily 7/10, my genetics from one of my parents' side kicked in and in a couple of years lost the hair, the skin aged, hair grew up in all other places except for my head!!!, I am paralyzed, my career is paused, can't work, can't think clearly, developed a BDD because of my hairloss, all the pathetic losers that used to be jealous from me now can't hide their smile because of my hairloss , IT DOES NOT MATTER If you were nice your whole life to people, when you're falling everyone feels satisfied and less miserable about himself, hairloss is just a death sentence, knowing that you cant cure it with your situation, even if you have all the will and the ability to try and find a solution across the globe, I cant believe this is happening to me, why not to rapists? Why not to murderers? Why not to A Douche who made fun of people? Why me? Why for someone who never ever belittled someone? Why for someone who is so altruistic and spent his f*****g teen years helping f*****g humanbeings with volunteering everywhere and always had a f*****g low profile so people won't feel bad for themselves. There are no w****s in the world, w****s are w****s because life turned on them and this is their only escape to make money and live, the only wh*** is mothernature and its unpredictable surprises.

Hold up. We are a caring community and you can reach out personally to various people, and they can reach out to you.

Hairloss seems life ending, but it is not.

First of all, you can SOLVE hair loss with all kinds of solutions.

Much better than ending your life!

Second, you cannot go this ALONE.

You need a support group here, but also in real life.

A friend, pastor, counselor.

Start there.

One day at a time.

 

[Razzabo]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

Dude. There are options man. Chill out.

Undetectable hair pieces, transplants. Women don't give a flying f*** if you wear a piece.

 

[Saurabhaj]

I am ending it, not gonna cope, not gonna find myself a damn pet and not gonna live like a freak in a forest isolated from society and neither gonna even bother suing the "leading clinic". I am just a rare case , nw7 diffuse with a RIDICULOUS hair transplant, I became a walking depressed clown, even seeking two leading therapists didn't help, two 70+ years old NW0 btw. I cant function and I even struggled with the captcha questions here (lmao), at least I feel that I am writing this peacefully from my phone. I just hope the friends I ever mentioned the hairloss issue with them won't make a noise about it when all happens, that would be such a pathetic death in peoples eyes, though I won't witness it, but I really dont want it to be even more painful for my family. I dont know if posting this here is an ethical thing to do to, but I thought that if anybody who got suicidal might remember that there is a worse case so there is hope for him. I just hope it will be a long silence without a surprising afterlife or a reincarnation to test me as a new bald young man in 2050. If this post is disturbing or encouraging suicidal acts please delete it, I wanted to share my real feelings with people I dont know. Take Care !

Suicide is not a solution.

Instead,just forget how your condition is and try to restart your positive thinking.
Don't try to live life on other's opinion.
I am over norwood 6 and still i am not thinking of hairs now.
Concentrate yourself in family and studies or job.

Try to buy things you like or visit some places you want to see.

 

[Lastcall1]

Caring what others say or the way they perceive me is a lesser concern for me, I am just disgusted of the way I look in a way that I avoid looking in the mirror or taking photos, I wasn't born ugly, I became ugly in the wrong period of my life, the prime period, I see how my options are getting worse everyday, this is not a subjective feeling, it is the truth, and if I try to convince myself it's dellusional thinking people manage to reassure it. Social approval and people's opinions are not my prime concern in life, but it is a way to indicate that I am not insane and people actually see from their point of view what I doubt about myself. There is another factor which I didn't bother to mention that could change the whole equation, I am damn gay, I never had a problem with it, not untill it clashed with the severe baldness in a smaller "community" that the look factor plays a way more critical role in one's quality of life than in a straight buddy's life. I just can't find a purpose anymore, lets say I forget about my miserable youth, what is waiting for me? A life of a 40yo+ gay sugardaddy with a horseshoe with no kids and no stable life? Someone asked me how this year has gone so far, here what it was mate, everywhere I go I see weird looks towards my head, any acquaintance or friend I meet the conversation circles around baldness and hair transplants, even people I barely know at groceries giggles when I pay and akwardly one seller even chased me and asked if he can ask a personal question, guess what was it about? , my hair transplant is so obvious I heared tens of times comments about it, I even stopped going to the barber and I shave my head at home after I got sick of the weird looks and comments, someone even stood of his seat and offered me a clinic to cover my crown, it is even worse than being slick bald, it gives the impression not only of a severely bald young man, but of someone who is also insecure about it so he had a ridiculous hair transplant.

 

[biddybomb]

Caring what others say or the way they perceive me is a lesser concern for me, I am just disgusted of the way I look in a way that I avoid looking in the mirror or taking photos, I wasn't born ugly, I became ugly in the wrong period of my life, the prime period, I see how my options are getting worse everyday, this is not a subjective feeling, it is the truth, and if I try to convince myself it's dellusional thinking people manage to reassure it. Social approval and people's opinions are not my prime concern in life, but it is a way to indicate that I am not insane and people actually see from their point of view what I doubt about myself. There is another factor which I didn't bother to mention that could change the whole equation, I am damn gay, I never had a problem with it, not untill it clashed with the severe baldness in a smaller "community" that the look factor plays a way more critical role in one's quality of life than in a straight buddy's life. I just can't find a purpose anymore, lets say I forget about my miserable youth, what is waiting for me? A life of a 40yo+ gay sugardaddy with a horseshoe with no kids and no stable life? Someone asked me how this year has gone so far, here what it was mate, everywhere I go I see weird looks towards my head, any acquaintance or friend I meet the conversation circles around baldness and hair transplants, even people I barely know at groceries giggles when I pay and akwardly one seller even chased me and asked if he can ask a personal question, guess what was it about? , my hair transplant is so obvious I heared tens of times comments about it, I even stopped going to the barber and I shave my head at home after I got sick of the weird looks and comments, someone eveb stood of hus seat and offered me a clinic tk cover my crowb, it is even worse than being slick bald, it gives the impression not only of a severely bald young man, but of someone who is also insecure about it so he had a ridiculous hair transplant.

cant u shave the transplant? You say ur gay, so at least try the bear mode. Shave it, get on highly anabolic substances like Test/tren/deca and get BIG. Better than suicide.

 

[Lastcall1]

Lmao,nice thinking, thought about this but bears are a community themselves and hang around with eachother, I'd be attracted to a girl rather than a bear.

 

[blackg]

Lmao,nice thinking, thought about this but bears are a community themselves and hang around with eachother, I'd be attracted to a girl rather than a bear.

Bears have feelings too.

 

[Saurabhaj]

 

[Roberto_72]

View attachment 62056

Pure gold.

 

[mdmnota]

I hope he's alive.

 

[Emu]

My advice would be don't give up and just quit life.

I was in your situation in my early 20's as well.. In the mid 90's there was no internet,no modern fue,no propecia. No real hope except for minoxidil.

I managed to hang in there trialling every new product or procedure that came on the market.

Along the way I had failures and I had success as well.. I now have a full head of hair it's not perfect but with correct styling I look pretty good.

So hang in there keep saving, learn everything you can about fue. Go to Turkey use body hair if you run out of donor hair.

But most importantly don't ever give up!

You can overcome this condition if you keep at it..

Mate I would have killed to be early 20's now and going through hairloss as opposed to when I had to confront it with virtually nothing to help me.. Good luck buddy.