Positivity vs. Realism

[buckthorn]

This Jd_UK is to much. What he says has merit, and sounds great on paper, but isn't going to change anyone's actual perception.


I see lot's of balding men at my gym, all insecure men. About 80% of them wear hats, and most are reasonably good looking. The gym culture tends to attract image conscious people who want to look, and feel great. These bald men have **** going for them.


Guess what, they all have average plain jane girlfriends. Most people in my neck of the woods bring their significant other to the gym, and I can tell you first had even the good looking ones all have average looking girlfriends. it's no suprise either, most look amazing with a cap, but then go from hero to zero after the make shift frame comes off.



Nobody says bald guys can't make it. Most indefinitely can, and that's a fact. Living life through the motions, and struggling to find dates on dating applications. Great life.

It is hard. I am 33 and most of my friends have noticeable hair loss or are slick bald. Many of them are in happy marriages with attractive women. I am lucky that this crap hit me mid thirties and not in my twenties. The older we get, the more acceptable it becomes I suppose. It's still friggin hard as hell though and I think that's because attracting women, whether or not they will be our companions, is a HUGE thing for men. That attention is powerful and important to our self esteem.

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I think you should try a hair system. It could potentially change your life for the better.

The medication, and transplant aren't working in your favor.

Wont know until you try it out

If you don't mind me asking, do you wear one?? The idea of having hair and not being self conscience about how it's styled is very appealing. I am on some strong stuff now, and if it doesn't work, I will have to either consider a system or shave it bald. Don't want to yet, because I started RU a month ago, and dutasteride about two months ago. I need to see how they will work. I have a gut feeling they won't. Have to start considering other things. I think I may cope well with a really well done and VERY conservative SMP. Perhaps just to blend the transplants.

 

[Exodus2011]

i was thinking about getting a piece just to go outside with. i dont like the maintenance involved with concealers/systems. i went to college in real life one semester and always either had a hat on or concealer (was thinned very bad in nw6 pattern). it was a lot of paranoia. one person even noticed after i had messed it up, **** was embarassing.

money, maintenance, and people not respecting you are the main issues. the latter is most important because the whole point of getting a system is so people dont see me as bald. if they know they will just see me as bald with hair glued on.

anyways ive been going without a hat for a while and people dont seem to say anything or laugh. i'm just another bald guy. but i wouldn't want to go to a hangout place like a club or bar like this.

 

[Exodus2011]

theres people who successfully wear though, i've checked out the hairpiece forums and some members even here use one. its a lot of maintenance and money though. and the maintenance is like once a week you have to take it off and clean it, at least for the one i was looking at.

apparently undetectable as long as you take care of it and bond it right. however some of them reported being caught by significant others since they were so close. it can only be so good. i've just seen HD videos of some good ones and they looked fine but i've never seen a real life one.

 

[DoctorHouse]

theres people who successfully wear though, i've checked out the hairpiece forums and some members even here use one. its a lot of maintenance and money though. and the maintenance is like once a week you have to take it off and clean it, at least for the one i was looking at.

apparently undetectable as long as you take care of it and bond it right. however some of them reported being caught by significant others since they were so close. it can only be so good. i've just seen HD videos of some good ones and they looked fine but i've never seen a real life one.

Exodus, if I were you in your shoes I would have worn a hair system. Think of this way, all people will notice you are bald but not every one will notice you wear a hair system. Either way, you will still feel "uncomfortable" but at least in one scenario you will look younger and "fit" in with people of your peers. True as Fred said one will be more work but at least it will "pay off" in the social scene. There was a guy I worked for once that wore a system and I had no idea he was wearing. And when someone pointed it out, I said it looked great and thought nothing less of him. I don't think there is anything wrong with a system. If I ended up in a situation where I need one, I would at least try to see what it was like.

 

[Rudiger]

Is it just me or is every topic about hair systems all of a sudden?

 

[jd_uk]

This Jd_UK is to much. What he says has merit, and sounds great on paper, but isn't going to change anyone's actual perception.


I see lot's of balding men at my gym, all insecure men. About 80% of them wear hats, and most are reasonably good looking. The gym culture tends to attract image conscious people who want to look, and feel great. These bald men have **** going for them.


Guess what, they all have average plain jane girlfriends. Most people in my neck of the woods bring their significant other to the gym, and I can tell you first had even the good looking ones all have average looking girlfriends. it's no suprise either, most look amazing with a cap, but then go from hero to zero after the make shift frame comes off.



Nobody says bald guys can't make it. Most indefinitely can, and that's a fact. Living life through the motions, and struggling to find dates on dating applications. Great life.

Can't you see how confused you are? What you write contradicts itself, not only from post to post but even sentences within the same post.

 

[DoctorHouse]

House, Exodus doesn't have the money for a hair transplant, and a hair piece is more expensive (in the long-term) than a hair transplant.

A few years and you reach the price of a hair transplant in Turkey, and if the money runs out, he can't exactly go back to bald overnight.

If a hair piece was such an easy and practical solution, we wouldn't have this forum. Even a hair transplant doesn't cause as much emotional turmoil.

True, never mind.

 

[Exodus2011]

yea good points Doctor. i might wear one at some point in the future out of curiousity, only thing keeping me from doing it now is price. anyways i havent been a hat prisoner in years now. i don't mind going out while bald, i just wont go to a hang out place or young people place lol.

if everyone was cool i might wear one full time but the problem is lots will still ridicule and think of me as a bald guy with hair glued on.

 

[EvilLocks]

Just about all the women I see middle age and up have noticeable hair loss, and I cringe when I look at them. I don't think men's scalps are unattractive, but I do think a woman's scalp looks nasty. I know it sounds mean, but that's going to be me soon, and there is no way I'll walk around looking like they do. I'll surrender to a wig or become a hermit.

I agree. Although a man's balding scalp is visually less pleasant to look at than a fullhead, a balding woman is just gross. No woman can get away with the balding look, period. Like you, I'll have to surrender to a wig/hair piece at some point. How's your hair doing these days, Joan? Is it really bad and do you think you'll have to look at fake hair anytime soon?

 

[Joan]

I agree. Although a man's balding scalp is visually less pleasant to look at than a fullhead, a balding woman is just gross. No woman can get away with the balding look, period. Like you, I'll have to surrender to a wig/hair piece at some point. How's your hair doing these days, Joan? Is it really bad and do you think you'll have to look at fake hair anytime soon?

I still lose a lot every day (I'd guestimate 200 hairs), and it's only a matter of time before another high Telogen Effluvium shed starts. They seem to happen every four months and last much longer than that. I'd say I've lost 50 percent, without exaggerating. Last month I went to my yearly dermatologist appointment. She takes pictures of my scalp at every visit. She said it has thinned a little compared to last year's pictures. The only reason I go to her is because she's a specialist at Yale, and you can only see her with a referral, so I don't want to lose her in case Yale does some clinical trials on Androgenetic Alopecia treatments (wishful thinking, I know) and needs volunteers.

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But you could also argue that a women wearing a wig is much more socially accepted than a man wearing one. I don't know why you would be against a wig I know women with hair who still wear wigs because it looks nicer on them.

Yes, it is far more socially acceptable, which is unfair. Wigs are uncomfortable, and good ones are expensive and don't last for a long time. (Sorry, just wanted to give you my opinion.)

 

[F2005]

I still lose a lot every day (I'd guestimate 200 hairs), and it's only a matter of time before another high Telogen Effluvium shed starts. They seem to happen every four months and last much longer than that. I'd say I've lost 50 percent, without exaggerating. Last month I went to my yearly dermatologist appointment. She takes pictures of my scalp at every visit. She said it has thinned a little compared to last year's pictures. The only reason I go to her is because she's a specialist at Yale, and you can only see her with a referral, so I don't want to lose her in case Yale does some clinical trials on Androgenetic Alopecia treatments (wishful thinking, I know) and needs volunteers.


I hear you. I read about Dr. Brett King from Yale doing amazing work in people with alopecia areata using the drug tofacitinib. I wish he would make it into a topical and try it on people with Androgenetic Alopecia.

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[Joan]

I hear you. I read about Dr. Brett King from Yale doing amazing work in people with alopecia areata using the drug tofacitinib. I wish he would make it into a topical and try it on people with Androgenetic Alopecia.

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I'd be his first guinea pig!

 

[F2005]

I'd be his first guinea pig!

Haha, I'd be the second!

 

[Joan]

Haha, I'd be the second!

And if I didn't get sides, my son would be the third!

 

[I.D WALKER]

.., And shortly after receiving disheartening news from the university's research dept. he had been rejected from the study due to preexisting health factor(s), this little piggy picked up his traveling bag trudged over to Union Station, boarded the next train, and left crying all the way home.

 

[Joan]

Or he could have been a sneaky little piggy and kept those preexisting health factors to himself, crossed his fingers and hoped he survived sporting a fuller head of hair.

 

[EvilLocks]

And if I didn't get sides, my son would be the third!

I guess that'll make me fourth!

 

[Joan]

I guess that'll make me fourth!

Unless you wear that sexy dress from your previous avatar--then you can cut the line--lol!

 

[hellouser]

The only people that talk about positivity are the privileged ones. Pay no attention to them as they're hypocrites.

 

[Rudiger]

It depends what your definition of "positivity" is, many "realists" on here believe it's as black and white as either being realistic, or being naively positive "nobody cares about hair br0!" but the truth is that the latter doesn't really exist on here. "Positivity" could be as simple as claiming that at least people won't constantly mock you in public, which is something that I've seen people on here dispute in the past, like walking through public is a constant shaming by everyone around you, as if they haven't seen a dozen other bald guys walking down the street in the past 10mins.

I would just say that nobody gives a ****, nobody wants you to die, nobody points at you or thinks about you, they just don't judge bald guys in the same way they don't bother judging every single fat or ugly person who walks by, which is plenty. In inter-personal relationships, your first impression will be judged more harshly, it doesn't mean you'll automatically be last in line for promotion, but you will probably be behind guys with better hairlines (even unattractive ones) who instantly appear more trustworthy and "together". Baldness also doesn't mean a love life is impossible, but almost any bald guy will certainly have to put in a lot of effort and hope for a trusting relationship with at best an average girl before getting any sex, and on the other hand, I've known plenty of average looking fullheads who have always been in that same position.