Really Struggling And Need To Vent. Sorry [explicit]

[hairblues]

I take that back he's been member for a while.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I take that back he's been member for a while.

Since when did trolls get a senior discount?


FYI OP, I am not dismissing your personal testimony as tomfoolery, I do hope ALL your health issues significantly improve ASAP.

 

[DBW]

He's sexually submissive--he actually can probably find a really HOT looking girl if he knows where to look it won't matter too much his own looks with some. They just like the sexual power exchange--and he sounds like he's willing to go really far into it. He just has to watch out for the ones that are about $$ they are usually fake.

Hi Hairblues,

I never really thought of it like that, but I guess I am a bit yeah, though I obviously like all the normal stuff too. Thanks for the advice, but I don't want to have to pay random strangers to have sex with me. I want a girlfriend that I love who I can do all this stuff with. Maybe even a boyfriend (I've got a friend who I think's kinda cute), but preferably a girl. I don't really want just emotionless one-night-stands.

I want people to be attracted to me for real.

 

[DBW]

Do you know if you're a candidate for a hair transplant? If you're donor is decent you might get something back resembling a head of hair with 1 or 2 megasessions.

What exactly is your facial deformity? Have you looked into whether any cosmetic procedures could fix it?

Hi kj,

Sadly I can't get a hair transplant, no. My sides are gradually thinning out and I just don't have anywhere near the quality of donor hair. My deformity is an awkward one. Essentially, the skin on my face is disfunctional, incredibly wrinkled, saggy, covered in acne and swollen - my face looks like the face of a 300 pound man despite my only weighing about a third of that. It's been diagnosed as atypical by a dermatologist, but they couldn't suggest any meaningful treatment options. All this damage was caused by a drug that I took, prior to that my skin was taught and clear and my face chiseled. It's very distressing

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

The title says it all really. Almost a year has now passed since I last had sex, or anything even close to it, and I am on the verge of a complete breakdown. I just don't know what to do. I've been trying my hardest to find a partner but I just don't think anyone's interested in me. Over the last few months I have tried pof, match.com, tinder etc. and swipied right on virtually every profile that I saw. Excluding mums and landwhales, I must have clicked on pretty much every single girl in my city and not a single one of them matched. Nix, zilch, nada. I also approached a number of girls in person with similar results. It's devestating.

Relationships were always something I struggled with. Since a young age I have suffered from a variety of mental health disorders (mild aspergers, social anxiety and obsessive compulsive behavioural tendencies to name but a few) and I have always found social interactions difficult, especially those involving the opposite sex. Fortunately, I was also relatively good-looking (maybe a 6-7), which helped offset some of these handicaps and allowed me to still manage to attract women. I even dated one who would go on to become a professional beauty model, with whom I had some of the best sex of my life. But when I lost my hair, the beauty model went to and I found myself once again single, but this time at least a half-dozen points lower in terms of physical attractiveness. I am 20 years old and I am already an NW6, with a very abnormal head shape and a whole raft of other features completely unconjucive to the bald look. Furthermore, I also now suffer from a rare form of facial disfigurement following a reaction to some medication. The net effect of these things is that I am now, at best, somewhere in the region of a 2 or a 3, well below average looking and even further below the threshold for even a relatively plain women to want to f*** me. The psychological trauma of all this is unbearable. I can't look in mirrors, I have regular panic attacks: mentally I'm a mess. I feel so inadequate and my self-confidence is non-existent. I am constantly miserable and think about suicide every day. I just want to feel loved by somebody, you know? To be valued, to be desired. It's about more than just the sex; its about companionship, being accepted and being validated as a f*****g person, as a f*****g human being.

But it's also about the sex. For some strange reason I have always had a ridiculously high sex drive. I masturbate upwards of 40 odd times a week and think about sex at least several hundred times that. It is an extremely important part of life to me, if not the most important and its killing me to not be able to participate in it. What makes matters worse is that I'm also a heavy duty pervert with high sexual standards to boot. I don't get off on lacklustre, 'vanilla' sex at all - sex is like a drug to me and it needs to be high octane. Cuffs, power-plays, BDSM, toys, 69's, I need that kind of intensity. I crave it like a man in a desert craves water. I need to do these things, and f*** it, I'm also desperate to get pounded by a girl with a strap on, wear lace panties, wolf down a girl's c*m like it's a f*****g champain waterfall, suck a guy's c***, have a threesome, I'm even open to incest (having an attractive sister just baits me even further). These aren't wants, they're needs. And they're just not being fulfilled. I worry that they never will be. I can't sleep from fear that I will never be able to attract anyone again. I may be able to get landwhales but I just couldn't do anything with them; I could never get hard enough to do anything even if I wanted to.

And then, there's the fear that I simply won't be able to perform properly even if one day something were to happen. Earlier this year I sustained damage to my penis. A medicinal reaction caused severe damage to the organ's tissue. It shrunk it from 6.5 inches to something closer to 4.5-5, it also somehow softened it - even when I achieve an erection, which is more difficult than previously, my c*** is never fully hard, perpetually about 20% flaccid. It's demeaning, emasculating and embarrassing. I see it when I'm wanking and I hate myself. I hate f*****g p*rn (yet I'm addicted to it): seeing the men's c**** makes me depressed beyond belief. Being reminded how a normal dick should operate. It sometimes makes me cry. Pathetic, I know, but the tears keep coming. And then I hate myself for being such a f*****g loser. My face is deformed and my dick is broken, neithevof which can be repaired. What do I do? What do you do when your problems just can't be addressed?

I miss my ex girlfriend so much. She was my first love; absolutely everything to me, but the relationship broke down when I started becoming depressed and she stopped being physically attracted to me. Things ended, but not before she'd cheated on me with several different guys and when I discovered her infidelities, verbally abused me to the point of tears and a several mental breakdown. I just couldn't, I just can't cope with it. She broke me. And of course, since then she's gone on to become a model, wildly popular at our university, to add insult to injury, a hundred times more sluttier and sexier than she was when we were dating. She's developed an unbelieveably attractive kind of domanitrix style vibe and her instagram is awash with semi-naked pictures of her. It's almost as though she's just purposefully advertising to me how much sex she is having. I've seen her FB and tinder and she's literally shagging a different guy each week. It makes me horny, angry and devestated all at the same time. I fantasise about her all the time. I cry about her all the time. She was such a nice girl when I first met her, but success just changed her. It tears me up.

I just want to be healthy, to have friends and fit in socially, to be my old, normal looking self. But I can't have any of these things. No matter what I do, I'm not gonna ever be me again. I'm trapped in a damaged body, a body that's not good enough. In which I can't live. I'm becoming psychotic. I barely leave my house these days. I never sleep. Barely eat. Just pace, think and masturbate. I just want my life back.

Thank you for sharing DBW that was very brave.

I can say a lot, but it's probably better not to. I think it's worth persevering through life as a lot of anti-hair loss treatments are coming online in the next five years. Try and focus on other parts of your life as best you can.

Hi kj,

Sadly I can't get a hair transplant, no. My sides are gradually thinning out and I just don't have anywhere near the quality of donor hair. My deformity is an awkward one. Essentially, the skin on my face is disfunctional, incredibly wrinkled, saggy, covered in acne and swollen - my face looks like the face of a 300 pound man despite my only weighing about a third of that. It's been diagnosed as atypical by a dermatologist, but they couldn't suggest any meaningful treatment options. All this damage was caused by a drug that I took, prior to that my skin was taught and clear and my face chiseled. It's very distressing

What's your diet like?

An extended water-only fast is an option to consider, imo.

 

[Runninghair]

Hold up... your sister??

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

PAY??? Im saying DON'T PAY!!!
That site is free and its normal people and i would say mostly under 35..there are other ones but majority are older.
Your associating all people into BDSM with promiscuity and swingers or what you see in porns.
Not the same thing at all.
In fact usually opposite for most.
You can definitely meet a girl next door type who likes the power exchange thing.
Or boy or both--whatever.

I would like to know more.

I think I'm a sub too, albeit a mild one. I would not be a good permanent slave since I have a personality of my own.

 

[DBW]

Hold up... your sister??

If she came onto me, probably, yeah. I honestly don't get the whole taboo around incest if I'm honest. As long as you're not having children with them, I think its actually pretty hot.

 

[whatevr]

Hi kj,

Sadly I can't get a hair transplant, no. My sides are gradually thinning out and I just don't have anywhere near the quality of donor hair. My deformity is an awkward one. Essentially, the skin on my face is disfunctional, incredibly wrinkled, saggy, covered in acne and swollen - my face looks like the face of a 300 pound man despite my only weighing about a third of that. It's been diagnosed as atypical by a dermatologist, but they couldn't suggest any meaningful treatment options. All this damage was caused by a drug that I took, prior to that my skin was taught and clear and my face chiseled. It's very distressing

Wow - that is awful. What on Earth did you take that could cause that?

 

[Jimbo5]

Maybe a third cousin or something if you were really desperate and stuck in some small town ... but sister???

jesus, DBW...

 

[kj6723]

Hi kj,

Sadly I can't get a hair transplant, no. My sides are gradually thinning out and I just don't have anywhere near the quality of donor hair. My deformity is an awkward one. Essentially, the skin on my face is disfunctional, incredibly wrinkled, saggy, covered in acne and swollen - my face looks like the face of a 300 pound man despite my only weighing about a third of that. It's been diagnosed as atypical by a dermatologist, but they couldn't suggest any meaningful treatment options. All this damage was caused by a drug that I took, prior to that my skin was taught and clear and my face chiseled. It's very distressing

That really sucks dude. Have you sought out assistance from more than just the 1 doctor? It sounds like there's a lot going on with your face...I wonder what an ethical plastic surgeon might be able to do for you? Or am I way off base with thinking that's a viable path....?

 

[hairblues]

That really sucks dude. Have you sought out assistance from more than just the 1 doctor? It sounds like there's a lot going on with your face...I wonder what an ethical plastic surgeon might be able to do for you? Or am I way off base with thinking that's a viable path....?

I dont really understand his description as to 'what' happened...Cystic acne? I think that can cause inflammation but i dont understand the wrinkled/saggy

 

[DBW]

Thank you for sharing DBW that was very brave.

I can say a lot, but it's probably better not to. I think it's worth persevering through life as a lot of anti-hair loss treatments are coming online in the next five years. Try and focus on other parts of your life as best you can.


What's your diet like?

An extended water-only fast is an option to consider, imo.

Thanks for the kind words, but its not quite as brave as all that - this is an ANONYMOUS internet forum remember! I know how positive the next 5 years are likely to be for hairloss sufferers and I'm looking forward to when new treatments eventually hit the shelves. The problem is that even with a full head of hair, I would still be significantly below average. As I've mentioned, my face is really unattractive and I also have other issues to boot. The 'focus on the rest of my life' bit is good advice man, but it's tough to do. Appearance, sex, relationships, are all really major parts of life; they're nucleic and permeate into everything. They can't really be escaped from.

Nothing massively awry in my diet. I'm a vegetarian and make a habit of eating healthily. I've tried fasting before and unfortunately I didn't notice any salient changes: my face seems to remain the same no matter my weight or diet.

What was the stuff you were refraining from saying? I'd be interested to know: PM me

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Thanks for the kind words, but its not quite as brave as all that - this is an ANONYMOUS internet forum remember! I know how positive the next 5 years are likely to be for hairloss sufferers and I'm looking forward to when new treatments eventually hit the shelves. The problem is that even with a full head of hair, I would still be significantly below average. As I've mentioned, my face is really unattractive and I also have other issues to boot. The 'focus on the rest of my life' bit is good advice man, but it's tough to do. Appearance, sex, relationships, are all really major parts of life; they're nucleic and permeate into everything. They can't really be escaped from.

Nothing massively awry in my diet. I'm a vegetarian and make a habit of eating healthily. I've tried fasting before and unfortunately I didn't notice any salient changes: my face seems to remain the same no matter my weight or diet.

What was the stuff you were refraining from saying? I'd be interested to know: PM me

I was just trying to give minimal advice, though i ended up suggesting two different things.

 

[kj6723]

I dont really understand his description as to 'what' happened...Cystic acne? I think that can cause inflammation but i dont understand the wrinkled/saggy

Yeah I'm not familiar with his condition

 

[Notcoolanymore]

and swipied right on virtually every profile that I saw. Excluding mums and landwhales

Sometimes when in a slump we have to take what we can get.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

On second thought disregard my previous post. I posted that reply before reading your entire post. Getting turned down by good looking women is one thing. It is even worse to be turned down by undesireables(beached whales, etc.)

 

[dralex]

it is one of side effect of finasteride btw

the most fear for me because I do not have even this handicap OP had

if I will be substracted 2 inches I will have a micropenis... why live

being ugly and having huge libido is the worst it is cruel joke of nature

I am a bit insecure about my natural low libido but probably it is not so bad in practice (if you are ugly)

Oh sh*t I forgot the side effects of finasteride listed on webmd were:

• dizziness
• weakness,
• feeling faint,
• headache,
• dick shrinking 2 inches into a micropenis

 

[dralex]

Hi kj,

Sadly I can't get a hair transplant, no. My sides are gradually thinning out and I just don't have anywhere near the quality of donor hair. My deformity is an awkward one. Essentially, the skin on my face is disfunctional, incredibly wrinkled, saggy, covered in acne and swollen - my face looks like the face of a 300 pound man despite my only weighing about a third of that. It's been diagnosed as atypical by a dermatologist, but they couldn't suggest any meaningful treatment options. All this damage was caused by a drug that I took, prior to that my skin was taught and clear and my face chiseled. It's very distressing

Can you say what drug caused this facial disfigurement so we know to steer clear of it?

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Oh sh*t I forgot the side effects of finasteride listed on webmd were:

• dizziness
• weakness,
• feeling faint,
• headache,
• dick shrinking 2 inches into a micropenis

You forgot: the desire to to commit homosexual acts and incest.