Really struggling at the moment

[Breaking Bald]

I’m really struggling at the moment; every time I look in the mirror I barely recognise my face. I started losing my hair at 20, I turn 26 in a few weeks and I look like I’m in my early 30’s!! I’ve also had relentless acne for over a year now and it won’t subside even though I’m on antibiotics. It’s just making me have no confidence in my appearance. I was meant to have a trial shift tomorrow for some part time work in a Café but my appearance is making me so self-conscious that I even cancelled it. I don’t feel like woman my age will find me attractive anymore. I feel like I can’t relate to people my age and that somehow I don’t belong there because of how I look, I feel like an outsider. I’ve also lost my identity as a musician big time, I used to love my thick hair, it was something that people knew me for and it was something that I could kind of hide behind.

Before you ask, I’m not on treatment, I won’t take propecia and I still don’t regret that decision. This is it for me, I’m too far gone, I can’t grow my hair out, I can’t style it in anyway, there is no texture or density and my hair looks like **** when grown out. I’m a diffuser and I’m ****ed, not enough donor hair for a transplant, too late for drugs, don’t want a hair piece and not sure about SMP. I’m at the point now where I have to shave it and accept it but HOW THE **** DO I DO THAT?? I still want to cling on to anything that frames my face. I’m still hoping some treatment is going to come out soon. I’m so sick of the constant highs and lows of it, sometimes able to accept it, other times hating everything about the way you look. Just the idea of now being constantly bald for the rest of my life ****ing SUCKS! I never would have thought this was going to happen to me.

I was just traveling for four months and I shaved my head towards the end of the trip bald. For a while it felt great, I even pulled a really beautiful girl out there, who was however older, I noticed immediately that it was older chicks who digged it. It was different out there though, no one knew me, it was a hot climate, I was more distracted by my travels etc. Now that I’m back I‘m really struggling again! I’m just finding it really hard to come to terms with. I can’t bare it and I feel stuck! I don’t really know where I’m going with this post but I just wanted to express some of how I’m feeling right now. I’m just trying to brave up to the fact that I have to shave my head NOW and just move on but it’s so difficult and I’m sure many of you put there can relate. I wish I could just magic my hair back, it seems there is no help coming our way.

 

[hellouser]

Hello Walter.

 

[Breaking Bald]

Hello Walter.

Mike...

 

[hellouser]

Mike...

 

[buckthorn]

hahaha... well that is hilarious. Hello fellow musician. What instruments do you play? I am at the same point as you my friend. I am 33, however, and have a horrible hair transplant scar and bad transplants I have to deal with, but it is just a horrible, perpetually mind-f*cking situation. I also am at the point where i can't style it without pulling the damn donald trump. I keep hoping things will get better with these treatments, but everything I try makes my hair fall out faster. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better. You are getting women with it shaved though! that's a good start. Do you have any pictures you would like to show to get a different perspective on things? I know in our minds every thing is the absolute worst case scenario. Sometimes we NEED support to survive.

 

[Ebony]

Before you ask, I’m not on treatment, I won’t take propecia and I still don’t regret that decision. This is it for me, I’m too far gone, I can’t grow my hair out, I can’t style it in anyway, there is no texture or density and my hair looks like **** when grown out. I’m a diffuser and I’m ****ed, not enough donor hair for a transplant, too late for drugs, don’t want a hair piece and not sure about SMP. I’m at the point now where I have to shave it and accept it but HOW THE **** DO I DO THAT?? I still want to cling on to anything that frames my face. I’m still hoping some treatment is going to come out soon. I’m so sick of the constant highs and lows of it, sometimes able to accept it, other times hating everything about the way you look. Just the idea of now being constantly bald for the rest of my life ****ing SUCKS! I never would have thought this was going to happen to me.

Yes you do. That is why you made this thread.

 

[Breaking Bald]

Yes you do. That is why you made this thread.

No, I do not regret not taking propecia. I made this thread to vent. I don't feel comfortable taking propecia and never would have.

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hahaha... well that is hilarious. Hello fellow musician. What instruments do you play? I am at the same point as you my friend. I am 33, however, and have a horrible hair transplant scar and bad transplants I have to deal with, but it is just a horrible, perpetually mind-f*cking situation. I also am at the point where i can't style it without pulling the damn donald trump. I keep hoping things will get better with these treatments, but everything I try makes my hair fall out faster. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better. You are getting women with it shaved though! that's a good start. Do you have any pictures you would like to show to get a different perspective on things? I know in our minds every thing is the absolute worst case scenario. Sometimes we NEED support to survive.

Hey man I play guitar primarily, but play bass and drums also. How about you? Ah man that sucks about the scar, I guess you can't get any more hair transplant's either? Any pics I show you will just clarify what I've already said.

 

[Ebony]

No, I do not regret not taking propecia. I made this thread to vent. I don't feel comfortable taking propecia and never would have.

Ah but see, that's where you are mistaken. You chose to ignore the priceless work of scientists for over two decades and instead believe the couple hundred whiners on the internet who attributed everything wrong with their lives to finasteride. And about that, it's almost universally true that the sides go away if you stop finasteride, so there is no reason to not try it out. If I were to judge by your regimen alone I can see you did literally nothing to stop male pattern baldness. Rogaine only helps as a growth stimulant and derma rolling won't do anything for DHT.

So my good man, it seems you do regret your decision of not taking finasteride

Edit: You misunderstand me, I am not trying to put you down, I was on the same boat as you but I finally decided to give finasteride a shot. What I am doing is hopefully informing people to not make these decisions if they value their hair and know they have male pattern baldness

 

[Breaking Bald]

Ah but see, that's where you are mistaken. You chose to ignore the priceless work of scientists for over two decades and instead believe the couple hundred whiners on the internet who attributed everything wrong with their lives to finasteride. And about that, it's almost universally true that the sides go away if you stop finasteride, so there is no reason to not try it out. If I were to judge by your regimen alone I can see you did literally nothing to stop male pattern baldness. Rogaine only helps as a growth stimulant and derma rolling won't do anything for DHT.

So my good man, it seems you do regret your decision of not taking finasteride

I'm not gonna sit and argue with you about Propecia but thanks a lot for the support and useful advice...It's nice to see somebody who's more interested in being right than showing some kind of empathy when somebody is feeling low. Good on you, thanks a million.

 

[buckthorn]

Ah but see, that's where you are mistaken. You chose to ignore the priceless work of scientists for over two decades and instead believe the couple hundred whiners on the internet who attributed everything wrong with their lives to finasteride. And about that, it's almost universally true that the sides go away if you stop finasteride, so there is no reason to not try it out. If I were to judge by your regimen alone I can see you did literally nothing to stop male pattern baldness. Rogaine only helps as a growth stimulant and derma rolling won't do anything for DHT.

So my good man, it seems you do regret your decision of not taking finasteride

That's not the point of this thread. The guy is in pain. It's not helpful to tell him what he's not doing or judge him because of it. He already knows everything there is to know about propecia and decided, as an adult, not to take it. Propecia completely f*cked my hair and scalp anyways, as it has many others. Perhaps he's dodging a huge bullet. Lets focus on the substance of his thread at hand and not get side tracked. Anyways man, I play viola, banjo, guitar, piano, bass and drums. I love it. It takes my mind off of everything. It will remind you of the good things in life. There are a lot of balding, bad *** musicians, like Billy Corgan. No one looks at their head when they are making crazy, bad *** music. I don't know what to tell you. I could tell you to be optimistic, but I would be a hypocrite, as this is consuming my life as well. I can't even go in front of my family without a hat. I was never the insecure type until this happened, and now I quickly realize how insecure I can be. Just survive for now man. There's a time to thrive and a time to survive... You don't need to be happy, you need to be strong.

 

[Breaking Bald]

That's not the point of this thread. The guy is in pain. It's not helpful to tell him what he's not doing or judge him because of it. He already knows everything there is to know about propecia and decided, as an adult, not to take it. Propecia completely f*cked my hair and scalp anyways, as it has many others. Perhaps he's dodging a huge bullet. Lets focus on the substance of his thread at hand and not get side tracked. Anyways man, I play viola, banjo, guitar, piano, bass and drums. I love it. It takes my mind off of everything. It will remind you of the good things in life. There are a lot of balding, bad *** musicians, like Billy Corgan. No one looks at their head when they are making crazy, bad *** music. I don't know what to tell you. I could tell you to be optimistic, but I would be a hypocrite, as this is consuming my life as well. I can't even go in front of my family without a hat. I was never the insecure type until this happened, and now I quickly realize how insecure I can be. Just survive for now man. There's a time to thrive and a time to survive... You don't need to be happy, you need to be strong.

Thank you for backing me up buckthorn! I don't understand the need to kick somebody when they are down, comments like that are just completely unnecessary. I came directly to the forums to get a bit of moral support or understanding, not be mocked, geez...

I am trying to stay focused on my career goals which are revolved around music but it's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. I like your advice though and your comment about being strong not necessarily happy. How about you? Have you not been able to just shave it and move on?

 

[shookwun]

Wear a hat

Wear a hair piece


choose 1

 

[buckthorn]

Thank you for backing me up buckthorn! I don't understand the need to kick somebody when they are down, comments like that are just completely unnecessary. I came directly to the forums to get a bit of moral support or understanding, not be mocked, geez...

I am trying to stay focused on my career goals which are revolved around music but it's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. I like your advice though and your comment about being strong not necessarily happy. How about you? Have you not been able to just shave it and move on?

Hell no man... shaving for me is for some reason the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. I remember in college, just walking into the bathroom, seeing the razor and shaving it bald for fun. I wish I had pics of that to remember what my head looked like. I am horrified man. Mainly because I was one of those people that vainly got an unnecessary hair transplant 2.5 years ago. Thats what caused this entire mess. hair transplant, followed by Telogen Effluvium, followed by knee surgery, followed by Telogen Effluvium, followed by panic, followed by finasteride, followed by Telogen Effluvium, followed by my current situation which is a clusterf*ck of RU, 15% minoxidil, dutasteride and dermarolling as one last stand. I just don't know how to explain to my family that, yup... just like that I am bald, despite my older brother just starting to be a diffused thinner. Because of MY mistakes, I have perpetuated my hair loss 10 fold.. my hair looking now, like it should look in ten years. Well, that's my rant. I say it in hopes that you realize you're not alone in this perpetual m*nd ****. Anyways, I have quite a few friends that have made a good living in the music industry. Musicians all look weird as hell and that's awesome. Get a spider web tattoo on the top of that head and be like Tim Armstrong from Rancid!!

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Here you go - one of the greatest punk musicians of all time

 

[Breaking Bald]

What's Telogen Effluvium? That's not unusual, you think shaving your head woulnd't be a big deal but it really does **** with you big time, that's why I'm really struggling. Well what do you do now? Do you have enough that you grow it out? Did the hair transplant turn out poorly?

 

[buckthorn]

For this alone you should be allowed to assault anyone who tells you it's "just hair".

And there's plenty of rockstars who wear wigs. If someone gives you sh*t for it, you already know what to do.

View attachment 39262

Yup, my ex literally told me, "it's just hair" one day before freaking out and dying here entire head because she had two gray f*cking hairs. I would give my right arm right now for a full head of gray hair. But... "it's just hair, shave it, wear a hat".

 

[shookwun]

I don't think I could ever fathom the idea of shaving my head, granted I have buzzed it to the bone before. I was able to pull the look off, but it didn't make me feel alive. That's the problem with balding, it makes you look average, and even below in a lot of cases.

I like having the handsome look, and hair is largely associated with that. I don't mind looking masculine, but to me having a pretty look in a ratio of 50:50 is the most attractive combination.


Hair easily accounts for 3-4 points on the aesthetic scale.

 

[F2005]

That's not the point of this thread. The guy is in pain. It's not helpful to tell him what he's not doing or judge him because of it. He already knows everything there is to know about propecia and decided, as an adult, not to take it. Propecia completely f*cked my hair and scalp anyways, as it has many others. Perhaps he's dodging a huge bullet. Lets focus on the substance of his thread at hand and not get side tracked. Anyways man, I play viola, banjo, guitar, piano, bass and drums. I love it. It takes my mind off of everything. It will remind you of the good things in life. There are a lot of balding, bad *** musicians, like Billy Corgan. No one looks at their head when they are making crazy, bad *** music. I don't know what to tell you. I could tell you to be optimistic, but I would be a hypocrite, as this is consuming my life as well. I can't even go in front of my family without a hat. I was never the insecure type until this happened, and now I quickly realize how insecure I can be. Just survive for now man. There's a time to thrive and a time to survive... You don't need to be happy, you need to be strong.

I agree with you on some points, disagree with you on others. But what I respect about you is that you are an intelligent person who presents your points respectfully and with empathy; not everyone on here does that. And you are not a hypocrite either, like some others on here.

I actually play bass and rhythm guitar and what has gotten me depressed is that hair loss has robbed me of the ability to look like some of my favorite 80s rock musicians. People used to say I looked like Blackie Lawless from W.A.S.P. I am more of an 80s rock guy so although I'm not really into the Smashing Pumpkins, I do respect Billy Corgan's musical prowess. What was f***ed though was that he was on That Metal Show recently and the guys were goofing on his baldness. They did the same thing to Kerry King from Slayer, joking how he was supposedly getting terrible sunburn on his head during an outdoor gig. And this is national TV too.

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Yup, my ex literally told me, "it's just hair" one day before freaking out and dying here entire head because she had two gray f*cking hairs. I would give my right arm right now for a full head of gray hair. But... "it's just hair, shave it, wear a hat".

As I said in a previous thread, a friend of mine did the same thing when he has some barely noticeable graying. Some people really are terrible hypocrites, especially when it comes to hair loss.

 

[buckthorn]

I agree with you on some points, disagree with you on others. But what I respect about you is that you are an intelligent person who presents your points respectfully and with empathy; not everyone on here does that. And you are not a hypocrite either, like some others on here.

I actually play bass and rhythm guitar and what has gotten me depressed is that hair loss has robbed me of the ability to look like some of my favorite 80s rock musicians. People used to say I looked like Blackie Lawless from W.A.S.P. I am more of an 80s rock guy so although I'm not really into the Smashing Pumpkins, I do respect Billy Corgan's musical prowess. What was f***ed though was that he was on That Metal Show recently and the guys were goofing on his baldness. They did the same thing to Kerry King from Slayer, joking how he was supposedly getting terrible sunburn on his head during an outdoor gig. And this is national TV too.

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Trust me, I can empathize with this especially. In my early twenties I had long, wavy dark black hair. Women loved it. Every one said I looked like a young cat stevens, and he was always one of my favorite artists... losing it is just losing a big part of myself.

 

[Exodus2011]

ah i feel your pain OP. bald and 22 here. started balding in senior year of high school. PM me if you really want to talk.

and idk about you guys, but baldness makes me feel so uncool i dont listen to much rock anymore. its too associated with young people blegh

 

[jd_uk]

I’m really struggling at the moment; every time I look in the mirror I barely recognise my face. I started losing my hair at 20, I turn 26 in a few weeks and I look like I’m in my early 30’s!! I’ve also had relentless acne for over a year now and it won’t subside even though I’m on antibiotics. It’s just making me have no confidence in my appearance. I was meant to have a trial shift tomorrow for some part time work in a Café but my appearance is making me so self-conscious that I even cancelled it. I don’t feel like woman my age will find me attractive anymore. I feel like I can’t relate to people my age and that somehow I don’t belong there because of how I look, I feel like an outsider. I’ve also lost my identity as a musician big time, I used to love my thick hair, it was something that people knew me for and it was something that I could kind of hide behind.

Before you ask, I’m not on treatment, I won’t take propecia and I still don’t regret that decision. This is it for me, I’m too far gone, I can’t grow my hair out, I can’t style it in anyway, there is no texture or density and my hair looks like **** when grown out. I’m a diffuser and I’m ****ed, not enough donor hair for a transplant, too late for drugs, don’t want a hair piece and not sure about SMP. I’m at the point now where I have to shave it and accept it but HOW THE **** DO I DO THAT?? I still want to cling on to anything that frames my face. I’m still hoping some treatment is going to come out soon. I’m so sick of the constant highs and lows of it, sometimes able to accept it, other times hating everything about the way you look. Just the idea of now being constantly bald for the rest of my life ****ing SUCKS! I never would have thought this was going to happen to me.

I was just traveling for four months and I shaved my head towards the end of the trip bald. For a while it felt great, I even pulled a really beautiful girl out there, who was however older, I noticed immediately that it was older chicks who digged it. It was different out there though, no one knew me, it was a hot climate, I was more distracted by my travels etc. Now that I’m back I‘m really struggling again! I’m just finding it really hard to come to terms with. I can’t bare it and I feel stuck! I don’t really know where I’m going with this post but I just wanted to express some of how I’m feeling right now. I’m just trying to brave up to the fact that I have to shave my head NOW and just move on but it’s so difficult and I’m sure many of you put there can relate. I wish I could just magic my hair back, it seems there is no help coming our way.

The issue is mainly how you think about it. First up, sort the acne out...go the Doctor and ask for stronger stuff. I can't remember what it is called but there are steroid type drugs which can help clear it up very quickly.

Then...do all the things which guys here would mock you for. Keep your hair short, maybe shaved if you want but at least trimmer and tidy. Grow a bit of stubble maybe if you can. Keep yourself in shape...hell, why not get in better shape than the average guy? To impress other people and compensate for the baldness? No...to compensate for how you feel about it. You need something to feel physically proud of again.

Then work on your psyche. Realise that so much of the BS posted on this forum is just that...BS. The trouble is that small parts of it are true and that is where people get sucked in...then all of a sudden they are telling you it's the end of the world. It's not. Will you look older? Yep, a bit. Will younger girls be turned off? Some will, not all. Will some girls reject you purely for being bald? Yep..life is tough. Some girls would reject a guy for being too skinny, too fat, too ginger, too blonde...whatever. But you know what...even if a girl is on the fence about your appearance at first, it is still possible to pull her and how she feels from then on is down to you. Also, believe it or not. There will be some girls who actually like shaved heads or even baldness. There are women who hate the 'pretty boy' look and like the masculinity of shaved or even bald hair. There are women who 'have a thing for baldies'. No guy here will believe that but then i don't expect them too. You have to learn to like your look basically and only you can do that. When other guys start losing their hair or greying in a few years time, you will already be used to your appearance which won't even change that much.

Essentially, you could sit worrying about it and get upset or you can work on yourself and go out there and live.

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Hair easily accounts for 3-4 points on the aesthetic scale.

BS. It's different for everyone and appearance is subjective. I've seen the '1-2 less' and now 3-4. Heterosexual men spending their time trying to see things through the eyes of all women is so f'n stupid.