Regain Your Confidence And Start Acting

[CopeForLife]

I want to share with you something that just happened to me, because it ended up really being eye opening to me and I'm still a little bit amazed at the whole affair.

To understand what happened, you need to know two things - first I lost a lot of hair and finally took a plunge and shaved my head. I'm talking months of depression. Second I'm struggling with mild social anxiety and lack confidence greatly.

Anyway, a week after the break up, my friends dragged me to a party. I still had insecurities about my bald head so I wasn't too much in the mood, but I went anyway. I tried my best too have a good time.
Then I spot a girl that is just unbelievably pretty. Perfect shape, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw her and my first reaction was "There's no way a girl that prettiness would ever want to talk to a bald guy like me." And let me just emphasize that I was not thinking about her taking interest in me or liking me or anything like that... I genuinely thought a girl like her wouldn't want any kind of contact with me.
But then I fought "f*** it. Maybe she does actually... Who am I to suppose what she wants." And you know, thinking I didn't have much too loose (after I lost tons of my hair), I went over and introduced myself. We had a nice little talk, she was really nice and genuinely happy to talk. Then I let her go her way, went my own and enjoyed my night. We talked a couple more time that night and that was that.

But after that night I figured it would be nice to see her again. I didn't have any hidden intention other than getting to know someone new. So I asked a common friend for her number and, after asking a panel of friends if that would be weird or perceived as an aggression, I sent her a little text that said "Hey, it's Matt from the party Saturday... Would like grabbing a coffee sometime ?"

Before sending it, my friends asked me if I was ready for her to say no. They asked me if she had a bf or if she was fauxflirting and to be fair, I had no idea. But I figured I didn't have much to loose. And I was ready for the fact that she might not want to hang out with me. And I thought that would be okay, that it wouldn't make me anything less as a person.

After sending the text, I put the phone down and starting talking with my friends about how the worst would be waiting for his answer and maybe he wouldn't answer at all ? But before the conversation was over my phone lit up and I add a text saying "Hey I would love that actually !"

At that point I was ecstatic... I couldn't believe it, the most gorgeous girl ever willing to grab a coffee with me ?? WHAT ? We then arranged to meet the next day in the afternoon... Which was yesterday. And let me just say it went well It was everything I hopped it would be, an honest, pleasurable chat with a stranger, that lasted just a bit too long (6h!!) to be innocent but totally without any kind of pressure. But the thing I found out, the whole point of that story and what really blew my mind is how insecure that girl is. She doesn't even see himself as pretty !!! Actually, the most pretty girl I ever saw probably couldn't believe that a bald guy like me just texted her out of the blue...

So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we think other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people...
Edit : For the people wondering, I'm a 27y/o American Indian guy... I'm really sorry for the couple grumpy people that seems to still be struggling big time with their insecurities. You'll get there and we love you

 

[CopeForLife]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromo...asked_out_the_most_handsome_man_ever_just_to/

ctrl+H, replace average girl with bald guy
ctrl+H, replace hot guy with hot girl

you f****r!

 

[Marky]

you f****r!

I'm confused, is this like a spam thing to get reactions?!

 

[CopeForLife]

I'm confused, is this like a spam thing to get reactions?!

not really

I tried to show how reverted bald guy story is ridiculous IRL

 

[LastSamurai]

not really

I tried to show how reverted bald guy story is ridiculous IRL

Urm, I'm a little confused. Are you saying that it would be ridiculous in real life for that to happen to a bald guy or not ?

For a moment, I had got my hopes up, sad to see it was just a story with characters/names changed.

We need some more real life inspirational stories. Because the sh*t you said here:

"So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we think other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people..."

is very true, even if the story isn't true.

 

[CopeForLife]

Urm, I'm a little confused. Are you saying that it would be ridiculous in real life for that to happen to a bald guy or not ?

It would be ridiculous in real life for that to happen to a bald guy

 

[Roberto_72]

It would be ridiculous in real life for that to happen to a bald guy

It is not impossible.
It is just that it would take 10x more time than TWO DAYS.
The pretty girl would have to know you for a longer time to appreciate your other qualities than your exposed scalp.
Problem is: in the meantime, someone with no hair loss could have found the way to get to her.

 

[Calchas]

@Roberto_72
You are from Italy man?
I found some Rai channels on satellite the other day,and i realised i could
understand the most of what they were saying, without ever having studied Italian...WTF!!!
Beautifully sounding language though...probably the most melodic in the world.

 

[killme]

i need a NW0

 

[Roberto_72]

From the original Reddit:

"Then I spot a man that is just unbelievably handsome. Tall, muscled, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw him and my first reaction was "There's no way a man that handsome would ever want to talk to a girl like me"...,



THE IRONY

 

[barfacan]

I let her down gently.

 

[blackg]

I want to share with you something that just happened to me, because it ended up really being eye opening to me and I'm still a little bit amazed at the whole affair.

To understand what happened, you need to know two things - first I lost a lot of hair and finally took a plunge and shaved my head. I'm talking months of depression. Second I'm struggling with mild social anxiety and lack confidence greatly.

Anyway, a week after the break up, my friends dragged me to a party. I still had insecurities about my bald head so I wasn't too much in the mood, but I went anyway. I tried my best too have a good time.
Then I spot a girl that is just unbelievably pretty. Perfect shape, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw her and my first reaction was "There's no way a girl that prettiness would ever want to talk to a bald guy like me." And let me just emphasize that I was not thinking about her taking interest in me or liking me or anything like that... I genuinely thought a girl like her wouldn't want any kind of contact with me.
But then I fought "f*** it. Maybe she does actually... Who am I to suppose what she wants." And you know, thinking I didn't have much too loose (after I lost tons of my hair), I went over and introduced myself. We had a nice little talk, she was really nice and genuinely happy to talk. Then I let her go her way, went my own and enjoyed my night. We talked a couple more time that night and that was that.

But after that night I figured it would be nice to see her again. I didn't have any hidden intention other than getting to know someone new. So I asked a common friend for her number and, after asking a panel of friends if that would be weird or perceived as an aggression, I sent her a little text that said "Hey, it's Matt from the party Saturday... Would like grabbing a coffee sometime ?"

Before sending it, my friends asked me if I was ready for her to say no. They asked me if she had a bf or if she was fauxflirting and to be fair, I had no idea. But I figured I didn't have much to loose. And I was ready for the fact that she might not want to hang out with me. And I thought that would be okay, that it wouldn't make me anything less as a person.

After sending the text, I put the phone down and starting talking with my friends about how the worst would be waiting for his answer and maybe he wouldn't answer at all ? But before the conversation was over my phone lit up and I add a text saying "Hey I would love that actually !"

At that point I was ecstatic... I couldn't believe it, the most gorgeous girl ever willing to grab a coffee with me ?? WHAT ? We then arranged to meet the next day in the afternoon... Which was yesterday. And let me just say it went well It was everything I hopped it would be, an honest, pleasurable chat with a stranger, that lasted just a bit too long (6h!!) to be innocent but totally without any kind of pressure. But the thing I found out, the whole point of that story and what really blew my mind is how insecure that girl is. She doesn't even see himself as pretty !!! Actually, the most pretty girl I ever saw probably couldn't believe that a bald guy like me just texted her out of the blue...

So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we think other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people...
Edit : For the people wondering, I'm a 27y/o American Indian guy... I'm really sorry for the couple grumpy people that seems to still be struggling big time with their insecurities. You'll get there and we love you

Who is this?

 

[Grasshüpfer]

He will f*** her and then dump her like all the other girls chasing him.

I just had a girl ranting about guys who don't commit, and was truly wondering how you could be so delusional.

 

[CopeForLife]

For anyone who is confused:
– I altered the original story https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromo...asked_out_the_most_handsome_man_ever_just_to/
– girl was replaced with a guy
– in original story girl broke up with a Chad and "cried for a weeks" and I replaced it with a guy loosing his hair
– girl or french ancestry replaced with a curry dude

The purpose was to show how easy dating for a girl regardless of her "mental" state and how absurdly it looks for a bald young guy to do the same with genders reverted.

 

[inmyhead]

OP is a moron.

 

[CopeForLife]

OP is a moron.

reinforce it with explanation

 

[inmyhead]

reinforce it with explanation

I'm suprised you didn't get offended by me lol because you seem to have some mental problems. Why would you create a fake story like that? What are you getting from that? I just don't see how a rational and healthy(I know that male pattern baldness isn't healthy ,but i'm talking about mental health) person could do something like this. There is nothing to gain from this. Anyway, I won't visit this section again. This is like the worst place of the forum.

 

[LastSamurai]

Cope4Life,

look I see what you're trying to do. But you're clutching at straws here. We all know this story could well have happened. In fact, it probably does happen to bald guys around the world multiple times a day.

The more I see it, the more I feel that a woman finds confidence the main attractive feature in a man. It's how he carries in himself. A man could be bald, could be short, but if he is successful in what he does, if he is motivated and has a grounded sense of confidence in himself, some style, whatever..That is what a woman likes.

Good looking guys iwth NW1 hairlines may have a natural confidence, yes. But that confidence is based on nothing but their looks. Being confident based on your personality and life experience is a much more real confidence in my opinion.

What a women doesn't like is a man who has no confidence and doesn't like himself. The more you like yourself and are OK with yourself, the more you will feel attractive and therefore be attractive to others. When you really look at sex appeal and what it means, in my view, its feeling comfortable in your own skin.

This argument has been done a thousand times, but I see no alternative but to argue for confidence. There other option is to blame your hairloss and be a victim.

Hell, how about we start a thread about positive experiences we have had with women recently ?! Let's build some momentum and start to feel good about ourselves.

 

[LastSamurai]

You can only gain confidence if you're good-looking, tall, muscular or some combination of the three to compensate for your hair loss.

A short, average bald men will never be seen as truly confident, but overcompensating and delusional, that's just how it is.

Your value is partially determined by your looks (and that includes height and build), if you don't tick enough boxes, you will not be perceived as charismatic or attractive.

You can't like yourself if you don't look good, and that's not subjective, again you would just be delusional. It's not about being a victim, it's about being realistic, what you think of yourself doesn't matter much, people mostly react to your looks and then they start considering what's underneath.

That is especially true when it comes to women and human mating.

Feeling good about oneself is pathetic, that's complacent in my opinion and it doesn't achieve anything. If you feel good about yourself right now, you're not look hard enough in the mirror, whether it's about your looks, muscles or your accomplishments. You could be so much more, but you will not feel the need to improve yourself if you already feel good about yourself.

My experience is that you can feel like complete sh*t, be a neurotic mess and still have some success with women if you tick enough boxes. While you can be this extroverted and larger-than-life unattractive guy and get jack sh*t. Looks are almost everything when it comes to that initial spark. Then the rest starts to matter, you have it backwards unfortunately.

I'm not denying its going to be harder then if we had nw1 hairlines, but it's not impossible. Losing hair doesn't make us ugly just like that. It's not like we wake up one day looking like Quasimodo. It may mean that in the dating market we're not top of the pile anymore, and online dating means that 20% of the top men have 80% of the women. The rest of the men (most of us included) have to make do.

But in the real world, we should stop putting women on a pedestal. If you were living a life that you had designed for yourself, and were motivated, positive, charismatic and on a path, you will find a woman. You ultimately end up with the woman you deserve. And you need to think about what kind of woman you want to attract.

If you go out to nightclubs expecting to bring home blond bimbos every Friday night then expect to be disappointed. Find a genuine interesting woman who has got more to her then looks. Meet her doing a shared interest, whatever that may be. I assure you there are many ways to meet women outside of the superficial cattle markets of bars and nightclubs.

Getting lucky means being in the right place at the right time to find a woman who happens to be single, you happen to hit it off, and things happen to go well and move forward. The better you're overall look is, the more lucky you will be. The guys that are positive about balding will carry themselves better and therefore be more attractive then if they were negative about their situation. I think that's an undeniable truth.

As much as my hairloss pains me, I refuse to give up and take a pessimistic world view that then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you build a core belief that you're unattractive, you're going to have to work hard to transform that. Don't get me wrong, thats a daily battle for me, but I'd rather keep things positive. Because I know my own hairloss is a bigger deal for me than it is anyone else. And honestly I'm sure women are more unattracted to the man who is negative and self defeating about his hairloss then the man who gets on with it and still has the balls to approach her and not make a thing of it..

 

[CopeForLife]

If you were living a life that you had designed for yourself, and were motivated, positive, charismatic and on a path, you will find a woman. You ultimately end up with the woman you deserve. And you need to think about what kind of woman you want to attract.

lol you're retard, look at david

he is highly educated (PhD), positive and made a lot of tries (dates) and still an incel

"ultimately", lol