says it all!

[swingline747]

I provoked them. Right. But still, he says I must be the problem, that my personality must be the problem! Unbelievable how delusional these full heads can be.

I was just enjoying a beer with my friend, and this would never have happened if I had hair. And of course it got to me, I even cried when I got home, in front of my father. He understood of course.

I just went through this yesterday with someone on quora.

Of course their response... Oh is your personality or self esteem...... F u. You don't know what I act like in the actual world so you can't draw that conclusion.
Tired of those remarks.

 

[shookwun]

It's realy sad, because most people don't realise that their attraction is largely contributed by their hair.


I mean take David Schwimer for example, he's subjectively ugly based on his facial features, and what is considered universally attractive but remains relevant due to his great head of hair. Could only imagine what his life would be like if he want bald, it would be drastic wake up. Would literally look like a receding sewer vermin.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

Last week my family was visiting , my mother, sister-in-law and me were playing rummy and we were just talking about the usual stuff. My mother commented on how great my sis in law's hair looked like, then she was talking about her hairdresser. My mothers hairdresser was just showing her wigs, which he personally delivers to cancer patients. My sis in law said how sad and depressing it must be for those cancer patients to lose their hair and wear a wig. Of course I was bumming and said, Well that's going to be my near future. Immediately I got attacked, they both said , oh Well if that's all you have deal with. That coming from somebody who gets laserresurfacing done because she has a few wrinkles, getting sclerotherapy done to get rid of veins on her legs, going to the hairdresser every other week.

One of the things that I hate the most is how so many are just so fixated in their own stupid little worlds that they have absolutely no perspective nor understanding about others that are in a bad situation, and yet of course don't even care.

And why does nearly everything have to be compared with cancer? Norwood 1 cancer patients who lose their hair get sympathy knowing the fact that it will grow back. But for us Androgenetic Alopecia sufferers where we lose our hair and won't come back, we're given seldom sympathy for it and are told to just get over it along with being scrutinized as vain. But if we were to overcome our Androgenetic Alopecia and just live with thin ill hair, then people will think we don't know how to take care of our selfs, our hair, and have a poor diet. Then we'll be told to do something about it, or to just shave it off. But then again, if us Androgenetic Alopecia sufferers show concern for our hair loss, then were scrutinized and are looked at as vain.

Either way, us hair loss sufferers can never win against the privileged full heads even when you show them hardcore scientific evidence that alopecia is completely out of our control and why this medical condition happens. And still, they'll reply with "It doesn't matter." and/or "But that doesn't mean anything." It's no wonder why there's no cure, because too many privileged people give statements without even knowing what they're talking about.

 

[Exodus2011]

AFAIK we're not necessarily talking about an evolutionary response to baldness here..

If you read Kahneman's book he says there are two systems of thinking, System I and System II. System I is based on heuristics, rules of thumb, that allow us to draw conclusions with a minimal amount of effort. Since modern society is extremely fast-paced and requires us to deal with a ton of information on a daily basis, we frequently switch to System I out of habit to minimize our mental load. A lot of times this works okay enough so we stick to it. However, it also makes us very prone to biases and false judgments.

So basically, if you are rocking your thinning hair and seem a bit insecure, the girl you are trying to pick up will very likely put two and two together, and quickly put you in the "desperate" bin because the image of balding men in popular culture are frequently associated with that. Over a series of rejections you also get a negative feedback loop going since you are actually becoming more and more insecure due to the rejections and thus seeming ever more desperate.

For the girl's part, hopefully she is making a false judgment and missing out on a good time by rejecting you out of hand, but it really doesn't matter since the consequences of doing so are usually trivial. If she is the kind of babe this forum pines over, she can have an equally good time (or better) by going for someone else. So in this instance, System I works very well for her.

Responses like these are of course rationalized post-hoc with the usual suspects, but as this forum very well knows those explanations are largely socially conditioned and can thus be freely disregarded for the purpose of answering questions like, "why can't I get laid" or "why don't I have any friends".

I find knowing this takes a lot of the edge off the despair and lets me be more constructive about my life.

thats interesting and not surprising considering how often i seen people kinda living in this automatic mode you are talking about. its almost like they're plugged into the matrix. they're not really aware of things.

going bald really does force you to take the red pill. interestingly the wachowski brothers are bald (at least one of them. the other turned into a girl )

and well i know theres hypotheses on why baldness evolved but nothing significant. you are so right about its impact on life though, they need to do more research on it

 

[Exodus2011]

thanks for those suggestions. that sounds very interesting. ill make sure to check them out.

and it really does connect with the matrix. iirc one of the wachowskis said one of the major themes is the dangers of "living an unexamined life" which wud be those plugged in

waking up and seeing the truth involves questioning everything we think we know, aka skepticism

 

[VeprSuper]

thanks for those suggestions. that sounds very interesting. ill make sure to check them out.

and it really does connect with the matrix. iirc one of the wachowskis said one of the major themes is the dangers of "living an unexamined life" which wud be those plugged in

waking up and seeing the truth involves questioning everything we think we know, aka skepticism

There is no spoon

 

[uncomfortable man]

Ive spent many years on this site struggling to come to grips with how our society ostracize the bald, how people can just casually dismiss our humanity. Ive always assumed that by achieving that knowledge, I would conquer the pain.

 

[Exodus2011]

Ive spent many years on this site struggling to come to grips with how our society ostracize the bald, how people can just casually dismiss our humanity. Ive always assumed that by achieving that knowledge, I would conquer the pain.

hard to mess with the basic programming of our operating systems man. its evolutionary psychology

its natural to look down at uglier people. its the responsibility of the more evolved and rational parts of our brain to do the right thing though.

thats something a lot have trouble with it seems.

its damn hard thats for sure. i'll masturbate all day to girls i know i wudnt have anything in common with. but goddamn they are fine so my brain is hardwired in a way so that my soldier will salute to them.