Suppose you could call today a 'bad hair day'

[BrightonBaldy]

Let me first of all qualify this topic by saying that being bald isnt the death of leading a normal successful life and it isnt as bad as some make out... but at the same time it is life changing, I'm not one of the forum pessimists but I am a realist relative to my own experience, it makes things a lot harder everywhere I go.

I had football training this morning, so had a tracksuit on (quite a smart one as far as designer leisure gear goes) and a beanie, covering up the dome, sports bag with me etc... went to buy a pack of cigarettes on my way to practice and was asked for ID to prove I was over 18. I dont even have a baby face, was stubbly being a weekend and the ID ask wouldve been as much for my clothes as anything else. I was flattered and simply accepted I couldnt buy them as I didnt want him to see my bald drivers license, I wanted the ego trip.

On the way to training I walked past a group of girls in their late teens and another pair in their 20's, both sets stopped talking as I passed and gave me the look/smile/eye contact I used to get all the time when I had hair. They definitely liked how I looked, maybe they made the connection that sports gear = healthy/fit or sports gear = casual, carefree, cool attitude... whatever it was they were looks that I dont get when sporting the shaved bonce.

Training came and went, so after returning home and going for a full make over I had to go out to the supermarket, this time without the beanie on. At the self service checkouts a dude in his late 40's (I'd guess) was laughing about how bad he was at putting stuff through and made the comment to me 'how the hell are our generation supposed to get upto speed with this stuff!' ... I agreed and made a sharp exit...

On my way home a car pulled up next to me to ask for directions, 2 girls in their 20's, the girl in the car opened with 'hey baldy!'.. again murdering confidence, then both of them in the car spent the 30 second convo giggling away despite me not rising to it. Then right outside the stairwell one of the couples in the block were walking past and said hi to me, with the girl joking 'its good to see you for once without the sun hurting my eyes'... me knowing exactly what was coming I asked what she was going on about.. 'normally we just see you leaving from the flat and the light bounces off your baldy head hehehehehe'. I smiled and went in, over the space of 2 minutes 3 women and one guy laughed about me being bald, though I know the last one thought she was doing so with me.


Covering up my bald head was the difference between looking 18 and being in my 40's and in the same day was the difference between getting instant respect + attraction and being the butt of female jokes.

I know plenty on here will say these are extreme examples of the effect hairloss has on how people view us but for me the only extreme thing was that all these things happened within a few hours of each other.

Like I say I'm not a pessimist but it does change your life in a massive way. Infact its indirectly affecting my life right now, I was supposed to be heading out with some friends to a club tonight but theres no chance in hell I would enjoy it after the 'bady' jokes this afternoon. This is 100% a night to be in alone watching the football and having a beer or two to myself, I'll recharge for tomorrow.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Also before anything says a word - I do not live my life objectifying everybody and everything that goes on in my head, I know fine that not every guy in his late 40's thinks I'm the same age and I know that not every girl will 'like' me when I'm not showing off the baldness.

But it does happen a lot.

 

[Obsidian]

It's understandable, to me this is the main problem of hair loss, the mane being taken.

Still is their any guarantee that they wouldn't make fun of you if you had a potbelly or something else? Teens can be cruel. Lord knows I could be.

 

[Obsidian]

But he shouldn't just jump in, he should make a thorough conscious decision as to me, having a hair system is like wearing a suit. You have to keep in a pristine condition most of the time and the upkeep sounds something of a hassle for someone at any age.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

I'm not 20, I'm 27..!

I'm very confident most of the time, today just took me by surprise, its rare for me to see such huge contrasts in responses in one day. Normally they'd be spread over a few days or a week.

Wearing a system would be too difficult to explain, I'm not totally against the idea otherwise, if transplants are out then it is a solution of sorts.



Obsidian- I dont have a pot belly, I am not spotty, I'm 6ft tall, I'm not fat and from the hairline down I'm not ugly. I'm not saying I was ever a male model but I was your average slim, good looking guy that most girls like and hot girls can settle for. I judge male looks on how women approach them, theres no 'technically' good looking people, women will go for all sorts but some will get more attention than others, the majority of blokes will get zero. Back when I had hair I was already better looking than most of the people who virtually never had hot women coming onto them, which bred confidence and a swagger, which in turn didnt harm things at all. Nobody really made jokes about me, there were two friends of mine that did from time to time. Both guys would be considered 10/10's (by most women we were friends with, also judging by the 2-3 10/10 women that would always be chasing them) and even then it was never anything physically about me, it was always that this girl or that girl wasnt as hot as the ones they picked up... and even that was rare!

With everything else, physical shape, style, decent job (inc the swagger :gay: ) I can count the times a lass has approached me to say hi on one hand since my hairline vanished.

Its just a miserable feeling and I'm sure theres dozens on here that can relate more to my day posted above way more than they ever will the denial merchants tales of success.

 

[Obsidian]

Never said you did have a beer belly or any spots, it was just a hypothetical situation.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Yeah man and I agree with you indirectly.

An above average attractive guy with a decent outlook on life will assume enough respect (a word I dont like using) to avoid all jokes, whereas a guy with flaws is fair game for anybody to attack, including jokes from those with flaws themselves.

So yeah, if I had a pot belly then I'd hear about it, but jokes wouldnt be because of it, theyd be because Ive less worth in others eyes.

 

[Ori83]

i got to yell you, since i lost my hair, my whole perspective about women changed aswell, im starting to lose respect towards them..... thats never a good thing :dunno:

 

[Primo]

Hey man, at least you're tall and slim.

Teenage girls are the most superficial beings on the planet! If you didn't have hairloss they would most probably find some other flaw to pick on.

When I was 16 I was a real short-*** barely 5ft 7, and just like premature baldness, lack of height at this age was a death sentence with regards to getting attention from girls.

I was always a decent looking guy, but girls would always naturally lean towards the 5ft 11+ guys, it's just their instinct. Back then I also got plenty of height comments form these teen girls and there's no denying it hurt. But now that I'm 24, no girls ever mention it & it really doesn't bother me anymore.

Same with baldness I was almost a NW3 before I began treatment a couple of months ago, I'm marginally better now, although no one else would probably notice this, but I just don't give a f*ck about these physical "imperfections" anymore, I'm past caring & and I carry myself in this fashion, which is probably why girls respond more positively to me thesedays.

I think at that teen age girls expect men to be the PERFECT physical specimen, but when they get past 21 they begin to join the real world and realise that most guys on the street don't in fact look like the dudes on the front of Men's Health magazine.

 

[Ori83]

but I just don't give a f*ck about these physical "imperfections" anymore, I'm past caring & and I carry myself in this fashion

i would never have guessed that from your regimen.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

No amount of grooming or posturing will ever replace your hair guys.

The guys who really dont care about hairloss dont have an account here.

 

[Primo]

i would never have guessed that from your regimen.

Well perhaps, but seriously if I go past the NW3 stage, I will buzz it all off because the relentless daily stress of worrying about how my receding hairline looks and whether it's covered up enough & whether everybody is noticing it is probably more stressful than having no hair at all.

You might say it's easy for me to make such a statement, but I'm really sick of constantly trying to cover it up and fiddling with my hairstyle 7 or 8 times a day to make it look half-decent. This kind of stress, doesn't just impact my lovelife, but also my work and study, where I'm constantly distracted by it. I'm done with all those dodgy treatments that mess with your hormones, I only take minoxidil now.

It's no coincedence that the men who embrace baldness by buzzing their hair short and living their life like normal people, are more successful than men like myself who spend all their time, soul and energy trying to hide it with dodgy looking hairstyles and halting it with dodgy treatments that cause side effects.

 

[uncomfortable man]

In all fairness, you can't compare your NW3 to Brighton's NW5. He is in a different category all together and the difference is significant.

Brighton, I can obviously relate to your story. I've had complete strangers make rude remarks towards me while uncovered out in public. Sure you can say they are morons, but that doesn't make us feel better about it, does it? Reminds me of a movie starring Mel Gibson, What Women Want. Yeah, it's a chick flick but he gets this ability to hear what women are thinking. Now imagine if his character was an NW5 (like us) in that movie..... if Mel thought he was going crazy from his powers with hair then you can only imagine the constant "eeews" and "gross" he will constantly hear from the opposite sex. Because even if they don't say anything you can be sure as hell they are thinking it.

Women are not these angelic creatures....they are cruel, judgemental and petty. Totally fuckin brainwashed. Of course there are always exceptions but thats why they are called exceptions, because the majority are actually like that.

 

[uncomfortable man]

And for those b****s who asked you directions, I would have said something like, " Sure, go up two lights and take a left at f*** OFF and if you pass GO TO HELL, then you've gone too far. Hope that helps!".

 

[BrightonBaldy]

UCM- I never ever rise to hair/bald comments, I internalise everything and stay as cool as possible, I never give them the satisfaction.. I actually do it naturally with all women who try to joke about anything because women in general simply arent very funny and men who giggle/smirk tend to come accross as total saps.

24 hours later and the downer from yesterday is repressed again, need to pick it up for work tomorrow and move on.


Women arent all b****s but they are preset to respond to good looking guys differently than to us bald twats, much like ourselves with them. On an individual basis it isnt each ones fault, its the fault of desperate loser men as a whole who spend their lives telling women the are awazing.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Fair enough. I don't fly off the handle either whenever this sh*t happens. Like you, I internalize it and then I let it out here on the forums. This place is great for that. I appreciate your sharing in any case Brighton.

 

[slipy]

Was reading this thread yesterday and it totally ruined my day.
I don't know how it's possible for you guys to endure all the humiliations and riducule. You must be mentally very strong because being the nutcase that i am i'd probably be out there f*****g people up if i was in your shoes...

... or wearing a wig.

 

[BornIn89]

Out of the 3 times I've left the house without a hat on in the last year, 2 of those times I got rude comments from random people I was walking past with their girlfriends about my hair. And both times the girls laughed like it was the most hilarious thing they've ever heard. It hurts but I suppose it's no different to any other insults I get, about my height, calling me a f*****, queer etc from completely random people walking past or driving past in cars.

 

[Maelstrom]

Was reading this thread yesterday and it totally ruined my day.
I don't know how it's possible for you guys to endure all the humiliations and riducule. You must be mentally very strong because being the nutcase that i am i'd probably be out there f****ing people up if i was in your shoes...

... or wearing a wig.

:agree:

Had a similar effect on me too. Actually felt my stomach turn over a little. Think it's the thought of being a NW4 with horribly greasy skin.

Urgh...hate this male pattern baldness. Hate it!

 

[Hoppi]

If I were bald I would be grabbing a long, stylish hair system pretty quick! However, some people look great with the buzzed or shaved look

I think a tan really helps! lol


EDIT -- and who knows maybe not long till stuff like Histogen! Result ^^