Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.

[pjhair]

Is that you in your avatar? I saw a gorgeous Indian women at the gym the other day and she was drooling over this average looking guy of the same ethnicity. I know this is bad but I kept thinking of Cope's terminology "currycel' when I saw them. I thought your marriages were arranged.

No that's not me in the avatar. Not all Indians go for arranged marriages although vast majority from the city I grew up in do. I am just the odd one out. I also don't find Indian women attractive. I grew up there and I have seen only three Indian women in my entire life that I found attractive enough to date. I wish my taste was different because it's laughably easy for me to get Indian women. I have gotten a lot of marriage proposals over the years because I come from a good family but I don't really like arranged marriages so I rejected all of them.

 

[pjhair]

Did she know who Barack Obama was?

Yes, and she hated him, to my chagrin.

 

[stachu]

But dave. I didnt want to date her after almost an hour of conversation. And ill not shave my head. For sure

 

[rclark]

Oh, sweet Jesus!

My HOLY DICK is MUCH BIGGER!

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

But dave. I didnt want to date her after almost an hour of conversation. And ill not shave my head. For sure

I've never had a 50 minute conversation on tinder.

Why would you talk that long?

 

[Bklyn_23]

That does sound odd, seeing as you are obviously somewhat good looking and based in NY, which is by all accounts a complete fish market.

I will say that on Tinder it really helps to stand out visually, which is both a function of how you look and how you present yourself (pic construction and pic selection). First thing I would do is try to find a first picture that really, really "pops", in a way that you would make you instantly noticeable as a thumbnail in a row of guys. IMO this should be just your face, a selfie is okay but if you can get someone else to take the photo then even better. Then for the other pics you can add some full-body shots, pics with animals, action shots et.c.

Take real care in picking out the photos and don't be afraid to spend some time using filters or otherwise editing the photos to make them seem more appealing. But the key thing is that first photo. It needs to really cut through the noise and make someone who's just browsing the aisles stop up and say "hmm, he looks good/interesting". The rest of the pics should support the decision to right-swipe you (I am cool/interesting/sociable), but my impression is many women won't see them at all. I should note here that I have a very distinct look, which is both a blessing and a curse in general, but definitely turned out to be a blessing on Tinder and other dating apps.

Obviously we all always want the best pics of ourselves to put online. Part of my problem is that I am VERY camera-averse (always have been, even when I was at my peak aesthetically as a late teen), so I don't take many pictures. I also hate how I look in most of the ones I do take, so the rare ones where I can actually stand to look at myself I put up. This is completely a mental condition on my part, as other folks say I look fine in pics. I definitely agree with your point that visual uniqueness is just as if not more important than how objectively good one looks.

Other things you should do is to put some key pieces of information about yourself in the profile, such as your height, your profession, and some good zingers that make the women laugh but also tell them something about you. This is just more supporting arguments to convince somebody you have hooked with your photos.

I do this. You'd think that stating that you're 6'1" and in upper management would help one's odds, but...

Your age is a big drawback if you're looking to meet the hottest women. Many of the younger women operate with a cutoff of 30, which is why you will see a lot of guys older than that lying about their age on the app.

Agreed, which is why I started to hide my age on Tinder nearly a year ago. No change in results.

You should check out Heat for Tinder. As you've already noticed, batch swiping is a bad idea; swiping selectively tends to give better results. What Heat does is it shows who has already liked you so you don't need to like them back to find out. This way you can be very selective in rejecting/accepting women who have shown interest in you, which enhances your value in the Tinder algorithm and puts you more at the front of each girl's stack. Another thing it does is to give you a mosaic of available women that you can like/dislike in batches or individually. This way you don't need to sift through and waste your swipes on women you might not be that interested in.

Never heard of this and it sounds interesting and useful - I'll check it out.

If you do all this and still get nowhere, then I've got nothing. You might truly be unsuited for dating apps.

It does seem that way for whatever reason. I matched with an attractive 21 year old a couple of months ago (very young, but I'll take what I can get if it's just for fun lol). She seemed on the fence about me even though we had matched and had been talking for a week on and off. But once she Facetimed me (I offered my # first), she literally invited me out with her and her friends that same night. I think she liked what she saw on video, and it goes back to the point that perhaps something about my looks doesn't come across well in pictures.

A better looking version of Ben Affleck can't get matches on Tinder?

Something doesn't add up. We could be looking at Rick Ross levels of distorted self image

So you're saying that I'm just imagining the (literally) dozens of people in my life who have told me that I look like Ben Affleck? I'll put it this way: When I was 21, I had woken up groggy and went downstairs and saw the mail on the floor. There was a TV Guide that had the cover image for the movie "Forces of Nature" with Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock on the front. I glanced at it from a few feet away and, being half asleep still (and not the sharpest knife in the drawer in general ), actually said "wait, what!? How is my picture on a magazine being delivered to me?" That's how much I look like him. The picture is below. This picture literally IS me in profile when I had a fullhead (though again I have a more defined jawline, higher cheekbones and better lips):

I really wish I could show you a pic of myself - you'd see the close resemblance right away. I have no need to lie or exaggerate stuff like this, because I don't judge myself by my looks. My self-worth is tied up in how I treat others and my intelligence; I've had more than enough attention in my life for my looks and don't need any validation in that regard. Lastly, I didn't say that I looked better than Ben Affleck now - I am about 40-45 pounds overweight currently (again, on a very big frame), and have been losing hair for 22 years now and have a very high hairline and very thin hair (without concealers). All I said was that I feel I have better features than him in general. But yes, at our respective peaks (for myself, probably age 18-20), I'm pretty sure I looked better than he ever did. Give us the same body fat % and hair and I do look better than him. You're free to think I'm deluded, but it's not like Affleck is the top of the top looks-wise; so I don't think it's such an outlandish claim.

Also, I do have good success in real life, as I had mentioned - it's only Tinder etc. where I get no play for whatever reason. It's no so much the last of success with these apps that bothers me - it's the incongruity with my real life.

 

[rclark]

I'm curious how you guys rate these two women:

Would f*** BOTH OF THEM. They can suck my HOLY PENIS!

 

[Roberto_72]

"I hope not babe, you would look really ugly if you went bald."

Your answer be like:

 

[Roberto_72]

Would f*** BOTH OF THEM. They can suck my HOLY PENIS!

I have a feeling this JC impersonation is not as funny as you think it is.

 

[Dench57]

So you're saying that I'm just imagining the (literally) dozens of people in my life who have told me that I look like Ben Affleck? I'll put it this way: When I was 21, I had woken up groggy and went downstairs and saw the mail on the floor. There was a TV Guide that had the cover image for the movie "Forces of Nature" with Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock on the front. I glanced at it from a few feet away and, being half asleep still (and not the sharpest knife in the drawer in general ), actually said "wait, what!? How is my picture on a magazine being delivered to me?" That's how much I look like him. The picture is below. This picture literally IS me in profile when I had a fullhead (though again I have a more defined jawline, higher cheekbones and better lips):

This sounds like a very cool story bro and I would love to hear more

 

[Bklyn_23]

This sounds like a very cool story bro and I would love to hear more

Haha not sure if serious. I do know I'm quite long-winded. Apologies.

 

[hairblues]

This sounds like a very cool story bro and I would love to hear more

LOL no way you read all that.

i skimmed it but i think I got the gist that he is an overweight late 30 something ben affleck look alike with some hair loss problems not doing well on Tinder?...and i am left wondering why we are doubting that he is doing bad on Tinder.

take away Bens hair and lean body--i'm sorry but he would do bad on Tinder as well except for money fame status.

 

[Dench57]

after the Nameless/Duncan James debacle i'm skeptical of these things

would need to see pics

 

[hairblues]

after the Nameless/Duncan James debacle i'm skeptical of these things

would need to see pics

Are you questioning Nameless as the most handsome man who has ever been on this site?

 

[Bklyn_23]

i skimmed it but i think I got the gist that he is an overweight late 30 something ben affleck look alike with some hair loss problems not doing well on Tinder?...and i am left wondering why we are doubting that he is doing bad on Tinder.

take away Bens hair and lean body--i'm sorry but he would do bad on Tinder as well except for money fame status.

First off, I am 40 pounds overweight, but people always peg me as 30-40 pounds lighter than I am at any given point. Right now, everyone I say I need to drop 40 pounds to thinks I'm crazy. Second, I'm not wondering why I'm doing poorly on Tinder so much as why my Tinder experience doesn't match my real life experiences. If both were congruent - no success in real life OR Tinder - it wouldn't irk me as much, because I could reshape my expectations. As it is, it's just odd.

after the Nameless/Duncan James debacle i'm skeptical of these things

would need to see pics

I can send you a couple of pics privately, perhaps.

 

[hairblues]

First off, I am 40 pounds overweight, but people always peg me as 30-40 pounds lighter than I am at any given point. Right now, everyone I say I need to drop 40 pounds to thinks I'm crazy. Second, I'm not wondering why I'm doing poorly on Tinder so much as why my Tinder experience doesn't match my real life experiences. If both were congruent - no success in real life OR Tinder - it wouldn't irk me as much, because I could reshape my expectations. As it is, it's just odd.



I can send you a couple of pics privately, perhaps.

40 pounds overweight is overweight unless its all lean muscle mass.

I did not think you were wondering why--i was addressing someone else who was wondering in another post.

 

[hairblues]

If both were congruent - no success in real life OR Tinder - it wouldn't irk me as much, because I could reshape my expectations. As it is, it's just odd.
.

Could be your stats on Tinder..your age, profession, education, where you live, etc.

if its your age you may not even be in the searches for younger women.

i don't have tinder but i think every dating app has age settings

 

[Bklyn_23]

40 pounds overweight is overweight unless its all lean muscle mass.

I did not think you were wondering why--i was addressing someone else who was wondering in another post.

I'm not saying 40 lbs isn't overweight, I'm only saying that I hide it better than most people. In other words, if you saw me you'd think I could stand to lose 15 pounds, maybe 20 tops. With clothes on, at least.

 

[hairblues]

I'm not saying 40 lbs isn't overweight, I'm only saying that I hide it better than most people. In other words, if you saw me you'd think I could stand to lose 15 pounds, maybe 20 tops. With clothes on, at least.

to be fair you are new here and did not expericen "rick' who is a member who could not understand why women were not attracted to him...posted pics of himself and he was over weight and not good looking and when people were nicely saying to him you could lose some weight--he reacted like we were crazy...he had a double chin and love handles.

So we are a skeptical bunch.

 

[Bklyn_23]

to be fair you are new here and did not expericen "rick' who is a member who could not understand why women were not attracted to him...posted pics of himself and he was over weight and not good looking and when people were nicely saying to him you could lose some weight--he reacted like we were crazy...he had a double chin and love handles.

So we are a skeptical bunch.

That's the dude who's pic keeps getting posted in threads, with people saying that he looks (obliviously) happy? Yeah, well, I definitely don't look like him lol.