Well, I’ve just been humiliated/abused at work by my boss.

[Guest]

Some people might find this humorous in a way. I mean, It’s probably a person who has the misfortune to have male pattern baldness, worst nightmare.

Well it’s in the top 10 anyway.

It all started this afternoon at work, when I was talking to my boss about football (soccer). All of a sudden, it got a bit heated. He supports Man Utd and I support Arsenal. He can’t stand Arsenal and I can’t stand Man Utd. Anyway, as I say, it started to get a bit heated. Because he is boss, he thinks I am not going to defend myself when he abuses the team I support.

Anyway, I gave as good as I received, when discussing football - and he got aggressive and went that one step further. He knows I have hair loss. Sadly as we all know, people mock hair loss. People see it as a joke. He saw this as a weakness on my part. Basically, in an aggressive manner, he pulled the cap off the top of my head to embarrass me. As I mentioned previous, he knows I happen to be a youngster who suffers from hair loss, and he preyed on this in order to make me weak.

It’s like, he could dominate me, once he reveals I have hair loss. He doesn’t have male pattern baldness, he has normal hair. This is seriously, how he saw it.

He pulled the cap off the my head and told me to go outside.

As we all know hair loss is also psychological. Like most, I hate revealing it, so I wear a cap.

It’s like, because he yanked my cap off, he expected me to lose all my energy and become mentally weak.

I remained calm, and although my hair wasn’t great, at least it was cut short, so it wasn’t overly-obvious I’m losing it.

When he did it, I kept calm. I did feel embarrassed but I didn’t show it on the outside, but on the inside, I felt like crap from that moment.

Basically, he tried to gain power over the situation by displaying my hair loss.

This was not a great feeling for me. Then took me outside and started shoving me, with a grin on his face and my hat in his hand.

He was pleased with himself.

Basically, he did it in an attempt to humiliate me. It was everything we dread. He kept pushing me saying “what are you going to do about it? No ones here to witness it“. Those were his words.

It was like you see in the movies, when the evil guy says something along those same lines, when he is the only person in the other persons presence.

He was right, no one was around to witness him pushing me. Sadly in this situation, when people fight, they don’t walk around with a grin on their faces for the rest of the day.

He did.

He wasn’t sorry at all. He enjoyed it.

Having hair loss killed me in this situation.

He has a perfect head of hair, he completely took advantage of the fact I no longer haven’t, by yanking my cap off to reveal it.

I handled the situation the best I could. Didn’t flinch, nor did I look embarrassed, although, I am feeling pretty much like sh*t right now typing this message.

This never used to happen. Ever since I‘ve been losing hair, people have become slightly aggressive.

Like they can get one over me or they gain confidence in the fact my hair is thin and theirs isn’t.

I’ve never ever got into a fight at a work-place before. Well, this wasn’t a fight as such - more of abuse from his side. It all started by talking about football. The opinions got heated, then he attempted to humiliate me.

Typing this, I feel like sh*t. Energy-less. A little bit humiliated I suppose.

I just can’t let him get away with this. I’m not showing any signs of anger on the outside. On the inside, I’m finding it hard - him taking advantage of this.

Revenge would be sweet.

I would leave the job, but leaving wouldn’t be good for me because I found it difficult to get employed because of the pshyclogical battle of accepting hair loss, when it 1st became noticeable. No one would touch me.

So I need the money.

I don‘t know, maybe there is someone I can get in contact with regards to abuse at work? If anyone in the UK knows anywhere?

What is the case?

If I do leave, then I could get him back somehow. Not only did he try to humiliate me in front of the whole company, but he started pushing me saying “no ones here to witness itâ€

I haven’t got the physique to act the hard-nut.

What a situation.

This is just a nightmare. I’m not a violent person, yet just because I refused to let my boss own me over a football related opinion, he got aggressive and preyed on a weakness that‘s out of my hands.

I just can’t be myself these days.

It’s as if people are forcing me to be a different person, because of this hair loss situation

Anyway, that’s basically it.

 

[Axon]

Well dude, I don't know if this is true or not, but melting a bag full of M&Ms and spreading them all over his car is sure to irritate him, as is sugar in the gas tank.

 

[Brasileirao]

Gunner I fell for you main, you should of smaked him around a few times, but that probably wouldn't have done you any good. In your pictures your hair looks like it has been holding up pretty good, and to tell you the truth it doesnt look bad at all. As far as prosecuting your boss, Im not from the UK so I wouldnt know, but I do think you did the right thing by staying calm.

Also, my sister was telling me that one of her girlfriends from work is dating this guy who is balding badly. They went camping and he always wears a hat not matter what. Well, someone thought it would be funny to take it off, thus revealing his bald head. The dude went inside the tent and spent the whole day in there crying. The dude doesnt work and has two kids with this chick, so I dont relly feel to sorry for him. But it does show how sensitive people are about their shinny heads.

Tony Montana

 

[upnorth]

Re: Well, I’ve just been humiliated/abused at work by my bos

Having hair loss killed me in this situation.

I'd say that your lack of confidence in your appearance due to hairloss was the killer here.

My Thoughts?

-You hairloss isn't nearly as bad as you think it is, particularily with blond hair

-Always wearing a hat attracts attention to your hairloss, you make it crystal clear to everyone that knows you that you are losing your hair and it really bothers you (same applies for combovers)

-Dress better, take better care of the rest of your body. Hair is just part of the measure of a mans appearance

-If you can at least let others think that the hairloss isn't bothering you, they will no longer see it as a weakness

-I know its hard, but stop worrying about it. You are doing the best you can to combat it via treatments. Worrying will not grow hair!

 

[RBK]

I woulda knocked that motherfucker into next week.

 

[Rust1]

Wow...and then of course, a case could be made for any type of physical violence at work is probably illegal and of course the guy should be fired for laying a hand on you.

 

[HairFarmer]

Tuff situation..


I wear a hat all the time too...I can't be bothered to mask the thinning spots. He sounds like a prick...

Check this out m8

http://www.worksmart.org.uk/rights/

 

[The Gardener]

Gunner, I have to give you some serious props for handling the situation as you did. Keeping your composure in such a shitty situation showed a lot of discipline. You pretty much acted like a man, and your boss acted like an animal.

In situations like that, I have to think about what motivated your boss to act that way? Whatever it was, it must have really been burning him up to take it out on you the way he did, and his actions are pretty much those of an incompetent employee in a position such as his. Any good manager, actually any good PERSON in general knows to keep separate the minor quibbles from issues of work performance, or friendship. What a pathetic petty loser that guy is.

You don't mention where you work, but if you work for a larger-scale business then I would immediately escalate this. Well actually, I would first try confronting him about it in a few days... just ask him what the hell happened and see if he has any remorse. He might have had a really bad day for other reasons, or he might be heartbroken about Man U losing it to the Arse this season? If he is approachable and willing to talk, and gives you a satisfactory explanation and apology then I might be willing to let it slide. I mean, even friends have irrational fights from time to time.

I had a similar incident with a friend of mine from New York. We are both avid baseball fans, me liking the LA Dodgers and she liking the Yankees, the two teams are in different brackets but are rivals from the early times of baseball when the Dodgers used to play in Brooklyn, NYC. Nevertheless, this year the Dodgers and Yankees played an interleague series and we took two of three games from them. I immediately called her up and started singing the Yankee victory song, which is Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" but with some significantly altered, profane, and gloating lyrics onto her answering machine. Well, she called me back and tore me a new one, cancelling the dinner plans we had made the following weekend saying that she didn't ever want to talk to me again (mind you, this dinner was our wager!) I had no idea that our banter was such an emotionally charged thing to her, but sometimes when you hit someone with a little harmless gloating on the wrong day, at the wrong time, (and maybe the wrong time of the month??) that harmless chatting might hit a raw nerve with them. A few days later, she apologized profusely and reinstated our dinner plans.

Anyways, I would still talk to someone in your Personnel or Human Resources or whatever name they call it department to at least get the incident on record. And if he is unapproachable and will not apologize then I would file a grievance. What he did was unacceptable. Sometimes good people do unacceptable things, and that's understandible... but sometimes assholes do unacceptable things, and will continue to do them unless someone stands up to them, and in a business setting the way to do it properly is to talk to someone above your bosses' level... of course, that is AFTER you make an attempt to talk to him personally.

I admire the way you handled yourself, and I wish I had more people on MY staff that had the professionalism and maturity you showed.

 

[Kevin fretwell]

An indirect revenge is a moral imperative and called for at this point and let a couple of months slide by before doing it .To bad there wasn't a harmless chemical you could dump in his coffe or something to give him hairloss ?He must be paying you well for him to have the balls to treat you that way . Sulfuric acid poored on his car will do some good for the paint or if you know where he lives type up a fake letter from a girl friend and put it in his mail box very early morning if he's married .This post really pisses me off because I to wear a hat all the time .Its pathetic

 

[Kevin fretwell]

I just viewed your pictures and have to say that your hairline doesn't justify your concerns . If your cheating you hairloss I would be just fine with what you have .

 

[drinkrum]

For revenge, stuff a hotdog in his exhaust pipe. If he doesn't have a car, put it in his natural, God-given exhaust pipe.

D.

 

[drago]

As its been said you handeled the situation very well, props to keeping your cool. I would have givin that bully a beatin he would never forget. Just keep you head low and aim for the jaw...... plus if he said anything, you would both get fired, unless he owns the company of course, then sue him for every penny.

 

[blue]

Gunner,
This is my idea,but can only be done if your bosses front door opens in.

What you do is get a trash can that is half way filled up with trash(make sure you empty the trash bags first to get all the sh*t outside the bags and into the can)

Now fill the trash can up the rest of the way with water(the other half being emptied trash from the bags)

Now find out where he lives(shouldnt be hard since you work with the f****r)

Then get the trash can that is filled with trash and water and lean it on his front door at the biggest angle you get get it to be without making it fall over.

Ring the door bell,run away,but making sure your not seen get your camera out and take a picture of this f*** when he opens his door.

Then post the pics at work.

 

[ineedhairnow]

Don't feel bad man. I've had friends that take my hat off to see if I'd shrink, I would just smack them and get my hat back. It's awful, that people would use it to mock us. But we can't let hairloss become a handicap.

Don't let that bring you down. Go to Brazil, where woman don't care how much hair you have.

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Like all problems, this is as bad as you make it. But I can see where it would drive you nuts. I know it would me.

I just finished 2 books by Eckhart Tolle, Practicing the Power of Now, and Stillness Speaks. I can't tell you how much these books helped me put things like that into perspective. I recommend both.

If you can't change the situation, then YOU have to change the way you perceive it, from the inside.

 

[Brasileirao]

What was the concept behing both of those books? Im readint Dianetics right now and its very interesting.


Thanks,
Tony Montana

 

[Kevin fretwell]

Dr Wayne Dier has been very helpfull to me . "When you squeeze an orange what do you get?" of course an orange juice . The point being that what comes out of you is strictly put there by you . Nobody can ever , ever , ever place hate,jelousy,anger,embaressment in you without your permission but after all we are just human and suceptable to allowing feelings to be place in us .Self knowledge is powerful

 

[MidnightFlyer]

What was the concept behing both of those books? Im readint Dianetics right now and its very interesting.


Thanks,
Tony Montana

Just go to Borders and read a few pages. See how it strikes you. What's needed as much as hair is 'consciousness.'

 

[Brasileirao]

What was the concept behing both of those books? Im readint Dianetics right now and its very interesting.


Thanks,
Tony Montana

Just go to Borders and read a few pages. See how it strikes you. What's needed as much as hair is 'consciousness.'

Dont bash me for asking...............man, the nerve some people have!!!

you come here and ask question about hair loss dont you, why not go to borders and pick up a boook on that. MANONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[foo2]

gunner, i'm a huge man united fan, why can't we all get along? sure i dislike arsenal, but only enough to engage in friendly banter and 90% of my mates are gooners.


but anyways i think your hair is looking good, the quality of it definately seems to have improved over the year you've taken Propecia.

well done for not hitting your boss, he deserved it.....



we'll still take the premiership this year but good luck all the same