What shall I do?

[uncomfortable man]

You can use the same excuse everyone else uses when they don't like someone being fat: health reasons. You have an opportunity to make or break this relationship with how you go about this situation. If you try and shame her into loosing weight, she will definately leave you after she does, probably before. If you are supportive and nurturing and motivate out of love and she sees that then she can loose weight while bonding even closer to you. The second choice is the win win one.

 

[Bald Dave]

Bald Dave......

have you thought of the possibility that if she slims down and becomes a "hottie" again she might decide
to "up-grade" to a new hot boyfriend......?


also, your family discriminating against your chunky girlfriend aint cool...... :nono:

When my cousin married his wife she was a size 20 and as soon as she lost the weight she gained more confidence and left him but he also has a drink problem. Maybe when she was big she was happy to marry anyone whether they have a drink problem or not just so they are not lonely. Another thing you can do is call the shots when your with a big girl i.e. where we're going out tonight and a what time etc but if she was skinny then she would probably call the shots in the relationship!

 

[patagonia]

When my cousin married his wife she was a size 20 and as soon as she lost the weight she gained more confidence and left him but he also has a drink problem. Maybe when she was big she was happy to marry anyone whether they have a drink problem or not just so they are not lonely. Another thing you can do is call the shots when your with a big girl i.e. where we're going out tonight and a what time etc but if she was skinny then she would probably call the shots in the relationship!

your cousins story is his own. Only that couple knows what happened behind close doors. Avoid being influenced by it.

hey man.. try to avoid those silly games of who calls the shots etc.... I believe it is more about what works best for both and compromising.

since you say it is your 1st girlfriend... my two cents is to just enjoy the ride... if she has a bit more experiece tha you do, even better for you. Use this relationship to learn as much about woman as you can and about yourself. .. have fun and enjoy her company..... dont take it super serious... if it is meant to be a very serious relationship time will tell.....

treat her well always.... learn and have fun

 

[CCS]

Bald Dave......
have you thought of the possibility that if she slims down and becomes a "hottie" again she might decide
to "up-grade" to a new hot boyfriend......?

Bingo. Obviously you think being with her is better than being single. So stick to that and the gym for now, and don't risk losing her. You can't get what you want right now, so you need to focus on improving yourself before you focus on improving her. Once you are halfway to your goal, she can follow you, or get traded in for a slightly better looking girlfriend.

You might be able to get a girlfriend who looks better than her. Or that other girl might want you to buy her more stuff. Or your first might dump you and the second might not take you. Do what you want, but I say you should just keep on going to the gym, and be happy you got something you think is better than nothing.

And do not get her pregnant!!

 

[CCS]

Women are kind of like men. You can predict how they think by asking what you would do. But remember a pretty woman won't think they same way about an ugly guy as an ugly guy thinks about a pretty woman. Women also are physically weaker and afraid of rape, which affects some of their feelings. They also are picker than men about appearance. This is because men can impregnate many woman with zero investment, whearas women need 9 month to grow a baby, which is a big investment. This also causes women to try to rip off men monetarily more so they can provide for the kid, whereas men are more content living in their own filth, on average. But aside from that they think the same as us, and you can predict their actions if you don't believe what they say and instead think of what is in their best interest.

Most of the time women and men will lie about why they are breaking up. Most people won't even say it is because you are bald or fat. They will say it is because you drink too much or something else. They can always find a politically correct reason to break up with you, and will never say the real reason. Often even in they will date a better looking person with an even bigger drinking problem after they dump you. And if you find out, they will say it is because he is a really good dancer or they love the sound of his voice or some other bs like that. Don't confuse yourself trying to find paterns out of it. It is all lies. Just get in shape and get a wig and your lady problems will mysteriouly dissappear.

 

[ali777]

Wait until the excitement wears off and then reevaluate your feelings about her. It should take roughly 3 to 5 months. From the sound of it, you are hitting that period and you are thinking about the future.... The decision is yours...

Also, pay attention to how you, as a couple, handle arguments. Some girls keep going forever, ie the naggers. I don't think I can ever be with a nagger again. I'm very patient but I don't think I can put up with one of them again.

 

[CCS]

ali777 is right about the future thinking. Don't do it. When you look at the future, and picture how it will be after she is in good shape, you get your hopes up and start to fall in love. Do not think about the future. Always judge it based on how it is right now, not what you think you will get in a few days, and especially not off the distant future, unless it is something bad. Basically, if she drinks, expect her to get liver cancer or something. Don't get attached because you think the drinking will go away. My brother is bald and fell head over heals for some fat women. It is even worse if she is pretty because she gets even more power, and probably still does not feel the same way about you.

You did not mention any manipulative stuff yet, but I can tell you from the women I've dated that they can be very calculating and tricky. Just don't fall in love and you will be fine. If you know you are as attractive as her and you have a lot in common with her and she loves sleeping with you and being with you and not comming up with excuses to avoid you, then go ahead and fall in love and don't lose her. But some will pretend, but they often don't do a good job of pretending since they always got to find an excuse to get away from you before it gets physical.