"when Dating Isn’t Worth The Time, Effort And Emotion" - Melissa Batchelor Warnke

[buckthorn]

It's hard when you've been consistantly emotionally f*cked over by women. Dating becomes really, really hard.

It's like offering your dog a steak and then smacking him in the face every time he tries to eat it. He will still go for it, but be mentally f*cked up as hell about it.

I have this very biased, inherent feeling that the majority of women are manipulative and entitled. It has obviously thrown a huge fork in the road of dating.

and yet now, when I am more f*cked up than I have ever been EVER, I am hanging out with this girl who is nothing but genuinely kind, giving and loving. I don't know wtf to think. I have an urge to rip off her mask an expose her. but, what if she just is a really good, selfless person? lol

 

[DoctorHouse]

It's hard when you've been consistantly emotionally f*cked over by women. Dating becomes really, really hard.

It's like offering your dog a steak and then smacking him in the face every time he tries to eat it. He will still go for it, but be mentally f*cked up as hell about it.

I have this very biased, inherent feeling that the majority of women are manipulative and entitled. It has obviously thrown a huge fork in the road of dating.

and yet now, when I am more f*cked up than I have ever been EVER, I am hanging out with this girl who is nothing but genuinely kind, giving and loving. I don't know wtf to think. I have an urge to rip off her mask an expose her. but, what if she just is a really good, selfless person? lol

I feel the same way as you but always remember there are "exceptions to every rule". Once you find that "exception" hold on to her until she becomes the "rule".

 

[buckthorn]

I feel the same way as you but always remember there are "exceptions to every rule". Once you find that "exception" hold on to her until she becomes the "rule".

I like that and I want to. You can't date someone when the top of your head is disfigured. At least I can't. It's impossible. so, oh well.. the minute I met her my hair went down hill really quick. Like no matter what you can see through it everywhere and even spot all the pluggy 4 hair transplants. It's f*cked man. Makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I like that and I want to. You can't date someone when the top of your head is disfigured. At least I can't. It's impossible. so, oh well.. the minute I met her my hair went down hill really quick. Like no matter what you can see through it everywhere and even spot all the pluggy 4 hair transplants. It's f*cked man. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Can you send me a photo of your hair. I will let you honestly know how bad it really is. And you say you have a great body and are very good looking so you have alot going for yourself. I know you are not going to be "perfect" but neither is the average person. Even the genetically gifted will have flaws eventually. You and swingline are like "identical twin posters".

 

[buckthorn]

Can you send me a photo of your hair. I will let you honestly know how bad it really is. And you say you have a great body and are very good looking so you have alot going for yourself. I know you are not going to be "perfect" but neither is the average person. Even the genetically gifted will have flaws eventually. You and swingline are like "identical twin posters".

lol... I never said I was great looking OR had a great body. My body is horrible right now. 5'9" 190lbs. You can see pics of my hair from the top somewhere on here.. idk how to find it and If i take one more pic of my hair, I am eating my f*cking shotgun.

 

[hairblues]

It's hard when you've been consistantly emotionally f*cked over by women. Dating becomes really, really hard.

It's like offering your dog a steak and then smacking him in the face every time he tries to eat it. He will still go for it, but be mentally f*cked up as hell about it.

I have this very biased, inherent feeling that the majority of women are manipulative and entitled. It has obviously thrown a huge fork in the road of dating.

and yet now, when I am more f*cked up than I have ever been EVER, I am hanging out with this girl who is nothing but genuinely kind, giving and loving. I don't know wtf to think. I have an urge to rip off her mask an expose her. but, what if she just is a really good, selfless person? lol

Do you have a 'type'? I don't mean looks i mean personality type?

I had a type in my 20s that put me through the emotional ringer...when i figured it out it was like "oh duh" and i m not going to lie i still can get sucked into this type once in a while but I'm much more cautious with them. And for serious relationships I avoid this type its just not great for me.

 

[hairblues]

The truth is that healthy relationships are made of people who are on the same level.

Any other combination will result in a relationship that was doomed from the start.

you must live in a very small town.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

This woman has decent hair, but judging from her pics, she would benefit from a bit of weight loss (not sure how much) and perhaps some breast implants (not clear). She would then stand a better chance with the men she's aiming for ... though judging from her lack of self-awareness, her entitlement would jump by the same amount as her pulling ability, so she'd still be miserable and clueless.

I'd be tempted to say that this is a problem with "women", but I believe men can be like that too. I've heard the same comment from women actually, that many men think they're entitled to supermodels in spite of being joe shmoes. Lots of men are deluded too.

The only difference, I think, is that these men are not paraded and celebrated by the media and allowed to wax in poorly-written articles.

 

[Dante92]

And no one has an ugly christmas sweater fetish.

I do.

 

[buckthorn]

Do you have a 'type'? I don't mean looks i mean personality type?

I had a type in my 20s that put me through the emotional ringer...when i figured it out it was like "oh duh" and i m not going to lie i still can get sucked into this type once in a while but I'm much more cautious with them. And for serious relationships I avoid this type its just not great for me.

My "type" would simply be someone that is honest, loyal and loving to the bone. Intelligence, of course, is a huge turn on. One that has no agenda, and is simply happy with me for me. As cliche as that sounds, that's it. I have dated blondes, brunettes, redheads, short, tall, etc.. hippies, hipsters, artists, engineers, nurses, etc... they are all just people. At the end of the day there are only a few things that matter, and at the top of that list is selfless love and loyality. Just being happy to be with you.

 

[hairblues]

My "type" would simply be someone that is honest, loyal and loving to the bone. Intelligence, of course, is a huge turn on. One that has no agenda, and is simply happy with me for me. As cliche as that sounds, that's it. I have dated blondes, brunettes, redheads, short, tall, etc.. hippies, hipsters, artists, engineers, nurses, etc... they are all just people. At the end of the day there are only a few things that matter, and at the top of that list is selfless love and loyality. Just being happy to be with you.

I hope you find that you sound like you deserve this and you been burnt a few times..

i think your deep....some people get hurt and its like a mosquito bite they shake it off..some people get hurt its like someone scraped out their insides with a spoon.
I'm unfortunately the second. I don't get hurt often but when i do its physically painful

 

[hairblues]

@FredTheBelgian i dont get it you have a theory that to you is absolute and you only want evidence that supports your theory?
Ugh sounds like those religious people who see Jesus on the grilled cheese sandwich.

 

[buckthorn]

If that was really true, you would have probably banged less than 10 women.

no, not at all. I am 34. I have been "banging" since I was 19. I have slept with maybe 18-19 girls (have gone down on probably 30-40 of course). That is a little over one woman per year, most of whom I have dated exclusively. I was always looking for that girl. Some of them were that girl, but I was too young and spoiled to know.

 

[buckthorn]

You misunderstand; I was referring to your "type" of woman: I seriously doubt that many of the girls you've banged were actually "honest, loyal and loving to the bone". Hot guys simply attract hot girls, and they see in each other qualities that, most of the times, are not even real (intelligence, honesty, and so on).

lol.. your perception of me is hilarious. I will give you a bullet point list, so you may finally have some more perspective.

- was fat and bullied until I was 16
- got into shape on my own will. Was still a nerd. Band camp and everything. literally.
- 19-30 - realized that girls found me attractive. big eyes, dark skin, motivated, intelligent, hard working, blah blah
- was so insecure from bullet point one that the majority of women I dated were very average.
- I dated and slept with model looking women, yes, maybe like 3-4... that was that. I was too insecure (see bullet point one) to continue, because I always thought they could do better. Also, those girls had such HUGE expectations it was overwhelming as f*ck.
- 32- current day. lost 70% of my hair and I hate myself. cannot date women. period.

NONE of the girls I slept with were what you perceive as that "type" of woman. They were nerdy and insecure, like me. and actually yes, most of them were very honest and loyal. The reoccurring problem with most of them was that they were manipulative. They found a dude that was good looking, but didn't know it. you can solve the rest of the equation.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

And why do you think that happened? Getting in shape actually enhanced your personality and confidence? Or maybe you've always been attractive to begin with, with a good-looking face and a good physique simply enhanced your appearance?

Nah, it must be because you got confident, that's the secret ingredient for banging model-looking girls.

Well, his body might have actually changed between the ages of 16 and 19.

Plus, women's tastes change as well. When they're teenagers they put a lot of value on popularity.

 

[buckthorn]

And why do you think that happened? Getting in shape actually enhanced your personality and confidence? Or maybe you've always been attractive to begin with, with a good-looking face and a good physique simply enhanced your appearance?

Nah, it must be because you got confident, that's the secret ingredient for banging model-looking girls.

I think you missed my point, but that's o.k. haha - where in post did you determine that I was ever confident?

 

[That Guy]

I have this policy of not dating and actively trying to avoid women who go around proudly proclaiming how "independent" they are. It's just code for "I'm a self-righteous, spoiled little ingrate brainwashed by feminist propaganda." People who are actually independent don't brag about being a functioning adult.

This one woman, I used to play in a band with her. Anyway, her car broke down once and she would not accept more than 1 ride from me. Even though I literally had to drive past her house to get to the jamspace, she refused because it steps on her "independence". We were left without the singer for more than a week because she wouldn't walk or just hitch a f*****g ride with me. She's now approaching her mid-30s and can't understand why her relationships never work out and she's all alone. Her last boyfriend dumped her because whenever he wanted to spend time with her, she'd often say something like "You're needy" but when he was too busy to see her right now, she flipped her sh*t.

Every woman who buys into this "independence" rhetoric is like this - everything has to be on her terms.

Another girl flipped out on me because I brought her coffee one morning as we worked in the same building and I knew what she liked. She was like "I just like to be independent" and I was like "Where I come from, when you get a gift from someone, you say thanks." Never talked to her again.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I have this policy of not dating and actively trying to avoid women who go around proudly proclaiming how "independent" they are. It's just code for "I'm a self-righteous, spoiled little ingrate brainwashed by feminist propaganda." People who are actually independent don't brag about being a functioning adult.

This one woman, I used to play in a band with her. Anyway, her car broke down once and she would not accept more than 1 ride from me. Even though I literally had to drive past her house to get to the jamspace, she refused because it steps on her "independence". We were left without the singer for more than a week because she wouldn't walk or just hitch a f*****g ride with me. She's now approaching her mid-30s and can't understand why her relationships never work out and she's all alone. Her last boyfriend dumped her because whenever he wanted to spend time with her, she'd often say something like "You're needy" but when he was too busy to see her right now, she flipped her sh*t.

Every woman who buys into this "independence" rhetoric is like this - everything has to be on her terms.

Another girl flipped out on me because I brought her coffee one morning as we worked in the same building and I knew what she liked. She was like "I just like to be independent" and I was like "Where I come from, when you get a gift from someone, you say thanks." Never talked to her again.

A lot of women don't want to "owe" men anything because they have prior experiences of men expecting sex afterwards. They then apply the
"take no favours" rule to all guys, to reduce expectations.

 

[hairblues]

I have this policy of not dating and actively trying to avoid women who go around proudly proclaiming how "independent" they are. It's just code for "I'm a self-righteous, spoiled little ingrate brainwashed by feminist propaganda." People who are actually independent don't brag about being a functioning adult.

This one woman, I used to play in a band with her. Anyway, her car broke down once and she would not accept more than 1 ride from me. Even though I literally had to drive past her house to get to the jamspace, she refused because it steps on her "independence". We were left without the singer for more than a week because she wouldn't walk or just hitch a f*****g ride with me. She's now approaching her mid-30s and can't understand why her relationships never work out and she's all alone. Her last boyfriend dumped her because whenever he wanted to spend time with her, she'd often say something like "You're needy" but when he was too busy to see her right now, she flipped her sh*t.

Every woman who buys into this "independence" rhetoric is like this - everything has to be on her terms.

Another girl flipped out on me because I brought her coffee one morning as we worked in the same building and I knew what she liked. She was like "I just like to be independent" and I was like "Where I come from, when you get a gift from someone, you say thanks." Never talked to her again.

You sure they are not just crazy???

Sorry it makes me a bit annoyed because my Mother was an actual feminist and a kinder, gentler more curtious and very demure feminine woman you never would have met ..she just wanted to be able to earn a decent wage while raising two children on her own in 1970s divorced in NY abandoned by her husband who went on to live like a wealthy KING yet not give her child support to 'punish' her or try to control her. Thats why feminism started.. If silly girls are twisting it you don't call them feminist call them what they are silly and rude.
I think they are just rude and obnoxious women who want to make you feel bad. it's not a feminist ideal.

 

[buckthorn]

I have this policy of not dating and actively trying to avoid women who go around proudly proclaiming how "independent" they are. It's just code for "I'm a self-righteous, spoiled little ingrate brainwashed by feminist propaganda." People who are actually independent don't brag about being a functioning adult.

This one woman, I used to play in a band with her. Anyway, her car broke down once and she would not accept more than 1 ride from me. Even though I literally had to drive past her house to get to the jamspace, she refused because it steps on her "independence". We were left without the singer for more than a week because she wouldn't walk or just hitch a f*****g ride with me. She's now approaching her mid-30s and can't understand why her relationships never work out and she's all alone. Her last boyfriend dumped her because whenever he wanted to spend time with her, she'd often say something like "You're needy" but when he was too busy to see her right now, she flipped her sh*t.

Every woman who buys into this "independence" rhetoric is like this - everything has to be on her terms.

Another girl flipped out on me because I brought her coffee one morning as we worked in the same building and I knew what she liked. She was like "I just like to be independent" and I was like "Where I come from, when you get a gift from someone, you say thanks." Never talked to her again.

Oh Jesus f*cking Christ, I know the type.. soooooo well. It's just f*cking infuriating. When I was 26-27, I dated this girl who would continually say sh*t like this. "i have my own apartment, I don't need a man" "independant b**ch wut wut!!!"... well, when we were breaking up, she LITERALLY said to me, "well, if you would man up and support me..." (obviously meaning pay for her rent as that was what we were talking about).

PAY FOR YOUR RENT???? We were dating for SIX f*cking months. Crazy enough, this was on Christmas day. She KNEW I was with my family and called me intentionally to tell me this. I replied, we are f*cking done. Hung up the phone, ignored her calls and never spoke to her again.

Some women want soooo much praise because they are "independent". Who gives a flying f*ck ya spoiled little brat??? I worked my *** off my entire life and never asked from sh*t from anyone.