Gadgetine

Where are all the bald dudes?

BrightonBaldy

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I'm sure thats a very good post qball, I glazed over most of it as I cant stand people on here dictating what the TRUTH is, itll be relatively different for each of us.

But I can identify points within it that are spot on, especially about all guys struggling, even more so if they try too hard to say the right thing.

People say attitude is key, I normally disagree, far too simplistic and clichéd. Sadly its the only thing we have left if our hair fucks off and makes us look ugly :) Any guy can get ripped, earn loads, dress smart and give the ladies some chat.. but it takes the bitterness and misery brought about by young hairloss to reveal our inner twats that most girls love to hate.. I'm sure if we all found a way to focus the raging emotions and energy churning within us we'd be sorted.

Failing that, we could all go out an pull some fat birds, get them onto qballs lose 600 pound system and we'd all be riding stunners instead of trying to figure out if David Beckhams hairline has receded a half inch or not on a Saturday night.
 

uncomfortable man

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Let's put aside the exceptions and look at the average...if an attractive woman has two guys in front of her to choose- one is bald, not physically fit but clever and funny as hell and the other guy looks like a model but is dumb as sh*t. What they both have in common is confidence, but the reality of the situation is that (everything considered) the woman will gravitate towards the model almost every time. That is the power of attraction. You can if and or but about it all you want but it is hard to argue with the overwhelming evidence against us.
 

qball01

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uncomfortable man said:
Let's put aside the exceptions and look at the average...if an attractive woman has two guys in front of her to choose- one is bald, not physically fit but clever and funny as hell and the other guy looks like a model but is dumb as sh*t. What they both have in common is confidence, but the reality of the situation is that (everything considered) the woman will gravitate towards the model almost every time. That is the power of attraction. You can if and or but about it all you want but it is hard to argue with the overwhelming evidence against us.

you're attempting to make dynamic situations into something static....there is no rule for these things. It would depend on each individual situation and who the bald guy was, who the who the woman was and who the model was...it would ultimately depend on the relationship the woman had with each of the men and how they made her feel....you're making a massive generalization...."almost every time?" What evidence do you have for this....are you PERSONALLY aware of every situation in which a woman has had a smart, un-fit bald suitor vs. a very physically attractive suitor? No you aren't. You're just making a massive assumption based on what YOU believe to be the "constantly held views" by society.

Also...being smart and funny isnt just enough to get girls...especially when you're not a model....you're going to have to be able to physically escalate things. Point is...the flaw in your mindset is thinking that these situations will always have the same outcomes...human beings and social dynamics are far more complex than that....

also when you say the "power of attraction"...you fail to realize that the POWER OF ATTRACTION would be enough to make a girl not care about a guy being bald....IF SHE is attracted to him....its possible to have that happen, don't even pretend like it isn't....or spare yourself the danger of facing reality and say "its always a small exception so it doesn't matter to ME"
 

uncomfortable man

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qball01 said:
you're attempting to make dynamic situations into something static....there is no rule for these things.
There is no set rule. "Only a sith deals in absolutes" and I have not yet turned over to the dark side enough to claim that all hope is lost but I am not so blinded by the light side that I can't recognize the fact that despite there being no set rule or absolute law (like gravity) there are such a thing as averages. Averages that are indicative of the greater reality that many if not most women find baldness unattractive. There have been plenty of valid studies (transcending massive generalizations) that support if not prove that bald men are significantly less successful at getting dates with women than men with hair. Plenty of legit scientific studies where the results reveal proof of prejudice against the bald man on average. The average is what matters here. If I were to buy a lottery ticket everyday relying on that off chance exception that I will have the winning ticket, then I would wind up a very poor and disappointed man. Sure, you can't win if you don't play but let's be realistic about the f*****g odds for once.
 

GeminiX

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UM, you always pluck irrelevant analogies out of the blue to try to re-enforce your negative view, most of the time though your arguments are built on sand.

As in so many of your arguments you use the lottery analogy as if life was all pure chance and there is nothing anyone can do to fix it, it's all in the gods, or down to chance / someone else / the weather etc.

The reality however is that pretty much everyone living in the western world can do huge amounts to improve their lot in life, you just need to want to.

To claim life is all a matter of "odds" is complete bollocks. Unfortunately for you however, you seem very comfortable in your position of doom and gloom and simply don't really want to do anything to improve it.

Of course life is harder for some of us, at times it can be very challenging, but "on average" we all get the same number of lucky breaks and sucky phases, it's up to us to make the best of what we have.
 

uncomfortable man

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Sorry, but when someone denies the very existence of a social prejudice that plauges my life and tells me it's all in my head, then I am forced to make not so parallel analogies (and Star Wars references) to get my point across. My point? Just because hair is not everything, doesn't mean it's absence is not felt. It doesn't NOT matter... not to me anyway.
 

BrightonBaldy

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How many of the people here who say hairloss doesnt matter were ugly and useless with women pre-loss?

I think those of us who have genuinely lost something feel it more, I never want to get used to fat girls but I have been, life aint terrible but it aint as fun.
 

superfrankie

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Hairloss makes a difference for a 21 y old NW5. I got my swedish dream girls before but now Im not even near. I rather prefer live in celibacy than be forced to go for lower classed girls. So I masturbate a lot.
 

Draco88

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superfrankie said:
Hairloss makes a difference for a 21 y old NW5. I got my swedish dream girls before but now Im not even near. I rather prefer live in celibacy than be forced to go for lower classed girls. So I masturbate a lot.
Well at least you've had the experience, i'm 21, 22 in 3 weeks (sigh), and i have never done anything sexual with a fellow human :thumbdown2:
 

Hope4hairRedux

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I probably contribute more to this forum then a lot of things. Which is pretty sad, in both senses of the word, but thats just the reality of my life at the moment.

Right now - I am quite ill. I wont bother going into detail - but I had monoculosis/glandular fever a few years ago, which sucked. But I got over that, more or less. Its just that I never properly got 100% better and back into a robust state of health. Ive suffered sporadically since then. I gave up all drugs. I drink less and less. I have also stopped smoking. In some ways, having glandular fever was actually a blessing in disguise in the long term. Ive had to change my lifestyle to my fate. Ive had to become a lot more healthy. Ive realized how quickly events can turn - how horrible it is to feel ill for so long, and it made me think about how blessed we are just to be alive and to have our health.

Of course, when Im feeling ok, I will find things to complain about, ie hairloss. But when I feeling f*****g terrible, I couldnt give a sh*t about hair loss. It really is insignificant at the end of the day. Id go bald for the rest of my life if I could be in good health for the rest of my life. Id do that trade anyday.

I need to see a doctor really. It might be anemia or something. My mum is dismissive and just tells me its glandular fever. Any time I feel unwell. But recently its like I have no energy in my brain..I actually feel increasingly brain dead. Physically weak, tired. Short of breath/laboured breathing. Sometimes I get scared and think I have smoked too many ciggerates..I dont want to die young..but Im increasingly obsessed with death.

I just hope whatever I have now isnt too serious, but I feel like death.

Anyway, this is going majorly of point. I just want to say that we should be grateful for what we have, not unhappy because of what we dont have.
 

Smooth

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Draco88 said:
Well at least you've had the experience, i'm 21, 22 in 3 weeks (sigh), and i have never done anything sexual with a fellow human :thumbdown2:

Pfff i feel for you my friend :(
try focus on other things that make you happy, anything that can improve your quality of life... i know how superficial girls your age are, but that's what it is, we cant blame them, just accept the situation as it is and adjust... you can either lower the bar and go with less attractive girls or aim for older chicks... your age group is **VERY** problematic...



(on side note, every time i see a young guy (talking about age 20~) with a complete dome i really feel like crying inside, i cant even begin to imagine how hard it is on them, sometimes i even find myself wondering if maybe I M the one who is being over dramatic about it more then they are, but then i realize that it doesn't really matter how they grasp the situation because i perfectly aware of the reality, so if a young guy would tell me he doesn't give a sh*t i would nod and reinforce because deep down we both know what its like out there...)
 

BrightonBaldy

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Hope4hairRedux said:
I probably contribute more to this forum then a lot of things. Which is pretty sad, in both senses of the word, but thats just the reality of my life at the moment.

Right now - I am quite ill. I wont bother going into detail - but I had monoculosis/glandular fever a few years ago, which sucked. But I got over that, more or less. Its just that I never properly got 100% better and back into a robust state of health. Ive suffered sporadically since then. I gave up all drugs. I drink less and less. I have also stopped smoking. In some ways, having glandular fever was actually a blessing in disguise in the long term. Ive had to change my lifestyle to my fate. Ive had to become a lot more healthy. Ive realized how quickly events can turn - how horrible it is to feel ill for so long, and it made me think about how blessed we are just to be alive and to have our health.

Of course, when Im feeling ok, I will find things to complain about, ie hairloss. But when I feeling f****ing terrible, I couldnt give a sh*t about hair loss. It really is insignificant at the end of the day. Id go bald for the rest of my life if I could be in good health for the rest of my life. Id do that trade anyday.

I need to see a doctor really. It might be anemia or something. My mum is dismissive and just tells me its glandular fever. Any time I feel unwell. But recently its like I have no energy in my brain..I actually feel increasingly brain dead. Physically weak, tired. Short of breath/laboured breathing. Sometimes I get scared and think I have smoked too many ciggerates..I dont want to die young..but Im increasingly obsessed with death.

I just hope whatever I have now isnt too serious, but I feel like death.

Anyway, this is going majorly of point. I just want to say that we should be grateful for what we have, not unhappy because of what we dont have.

You could extend that logic to anybody, a Haitian who has just been crushed by their own house would say youre lucky to have a doctor.

Its important to keep everything in perspective.
 

Hope4hairRedux

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^^ Yes, your right. And for that, Im grateful that I can see a doctor.

Im just saying we should focus on what we have, and be grateful for that. Im not neccasarily saying we should compare our lifes to people of less fortune - just to look at what we have in our own life.

Hairloss sucks - because we lose the ability to look perfect, which is image and ideal that is pushed upon us in the west.
 

s.a.f

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BrightonBaldy said:
You could extend that logic to anybody, a Haitian who has just been crushed by their own house would say youre lucky to have a doctor.

Its important to keep everything in perspective.

Well thats the thing if we all took a HairLossTalk.com feild trip to Hiati then maybe we'd forget this but we have all been brought up in the ignorant bliss of priveledged society. Its not our fault we are weak human beings but us balding complainers are by far the worst hat our society has to offer.
 

GeminiX

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uncomfortable man said:
Sorry, but when someone denies the very existence of a social prejudice that plauges my life and tells me it's all in my head, then I am forced to make not so parallel analogies (and Star Wars references) to get my point across. My point? Just because hair is not everything, doesn't mean it's absence is not felt. It doesn't NOT matter... not to me anyway.

UM, I feel that this is the core of your issues right here.

Your posts read as if you feel that you're the centre of the universe to everyone around you. Like when you're in town, nothing except you and your baldness matters, and you are the focus of everyone’s attention.

Do you really feel that everywhere you go people stand around in groups and whisper amongst themselves, in awe and disgust of your presence and baldness?

Have you really descended this far into your own negative ego that you believe that you are this important to the people around you? That suddenly, just by your very presence people forget their own worries, concerns, lives and somehow people unite in their mocking of your hair loss?

I've said this before, but I'll say it again:

I *know* you're not that stupid.

I *know* that inside you realise that this is all in your head.

Unfortunately, I also realise that I don't think you are able to do anything about it and continue to blame baldness for everything you feel is wrong in your life because it's so convenient and comfortable for you to not take responsibility.
 

qball01

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GeminiX said:
uncomfortable man said:
Sorry, but when someone denies the very existence of a social prejudice that plauges my life and tells me it's all in my head, then I am forced to make not so parallel analogies (and Star Wars references) to get my point across. My point? Just because hair is not everything, doesn't mean it's absence is not felt. It doesn't NOT matter... not to me anyway.

UM, I feel that this is the core of your issues right here.

Your posts read as if you feel that you're the centre of the universe to everyone around you. Like when you're in town, nothing except you and your baldness matters, and you are the focus of everyone’s attention.

Do you really feel that everywhere you go people stand around in groups and whisper amongst themselves, in awe and disgust of your presence and baldness?

Have you really descended this far into your own negative ego that you believe that you are this important to the people around you? That suddenly, just by your very presence people forget their own worries, concerns, lives and somehow people unite in their mocking of your hair loss?

I've said this before, but I'll say it again:

I *know* you're not that stupid.

I *know* that inside you realise that this is all in your head.

Unfortunately, I also realise that I don't think you are able to do anything about it and continue to blame baldness for everything you feel is wrong in your life because it's so convenient and comfortable for you to not take responsibility.

lol...smart post right here, I just wrote a gigantic reply in the other thread to this same effect....and honestly, I don't care if Uman himself gets it or not, but I want other young people (like me) dealing with hairloss to understand that his views do not reflect a reality. Because it can be really upsetting when you first come on this site to read some of the stuff he writes because you think "if his life has been ruined by baldness and hes in his thirties...then how the hell am I supposed to be happy when I'm barely in my twenties? Looks like life is gonna suck!" But then I saw just how extreme his views were and how closely aligned with those of body dysmorphic disorder they are...and now I want people to realize that it is in fact possible to imagine a lot of this stuff in your head....no doubt that baldness isn't a desireable thing and there ARE some people who will crack jokes and there ARE some women who just want a guy with hair....but to imagine that being bald alone will be enough to solely influence people's opinion of you...and that other people are constantly mocking you for being bald is ludicrous. The mind is such a powerful thing that I can't even put it into words. That is why there ARE some people out there with these types of issues who THINK they are being stared at constantly for some physical reason when it isn't the truth...but to then attempt to blame their issues on that actual physical problem is just sad IMO...its unfortunate that he feels this way in his mind...but he shouldn't come on here and attempt to pass it off as some objective reality where all bald guys become secondary citizens and are constantly mocked.
 

GeminiX

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Absolutely QBall.

I feel like I'm dumping on UM a lot, but it really worries me that his extreme attitude and initially persuasive "pseudo-arguments" will draw other people who are already in a fragile position into a negative spiral with him.

Hairloss sucks, it really does; I know, I've been there at a young age; but there are *far* worse things in life that will face most of us on our journey.

Also, for most people it's not easy to reach inside yourself and take positive action to improve your life, but it can be done; again, I know, I've been there too. However, once you have that little spark of self belief, you can achieve almost anything.

edit:
@QBall; I just read your post on the "embrace hairloss" thread; wow, that is spooky! We both basically wrote the same post, though yours is more eloquent. Great minds eh? :)
 
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