Like many bottoms, my gay friend George has a harrowing story about using an enema before a*** sex.
"I had met a guy on Grindr," he said. "I get to his place and ring the doorbell. As he opens the door to say hi, I coughed and shat out a load of poo water into my underwear. Loudly. I had to run into his flat, straight to the toilet, and throw my underwear away. It was all down my legs. It killed the mood, needless to say. And, yes, I left the dirty underwear there."
Among bottoms, learning the art and science of douching—using an enema, syringe or hose to flush out the rectal cavity before getting rammed to high heaven—is a sacred rite of passage. Like the asses they irrigate, douches come in all shapes and sizes, from readily available Fleet brand saline bottles to complicated shower contraptions for seasoned vets. It's a messy reality of taking dick up your butt: If you don't want to end up with a disappointed top and a gross sex situation on your hands, a courteous bottom needs to douche beforehand. Or so many within the gay community think.
In the interest of all my dirty bottoms out there, I asked a few doctors what one should do to prevent horror stories like George's. What's really the best way to douche? The answer surprised me—according to medical experts, you probably shouldn't be doing it at all.
"I usually tell patients to just put a towel down on those fancy sheets and go for it," said Dr. Stephen Goldstone, an assistant clinical professor of surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital and a specialist in anorectal disease and gay men's health. Goldstone is the author of The Ins & Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook, so he knows a thing or two.
Dr. Evan Goldstein, who founded the gay men's sexual wellness practice Bespoke Surgical (and is one of the country's foremost a*** rejuvenators), provided a helpful hypothetical. "Imagine if you line up ten guys and you're going to top them all," he said, describing a modest Thursday evening at The Eagle. "Even if they haven't prepared, nine out of ten would be completely stool-free."
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@buckthorn
Fecal Sex:
About 80% of gays admit to licking and/or inserting their tongues into the anus of partners and thus ingesting medically significant amounts of feces. Those who eat or wallow in it are probably at even greater risk. In the diary study,29 70% of the gays had engaged in this activity — half regularly over 6 months. Result? —the “annual incidence of hepatitis A in… homosexual men was 22 percent, whereas no heterosexual men acquired hepatitis A.
Ingestion of human waste is the major route of contracting hepatitis A and the enteric parasites collectively known as the Gay Bowel Syndrome. Consumption of feces has also been implicated in the transmission of typhoid fever, herpes, and cancer. About 10% of gays have eaten or played with [e.g., enemas, wallowing in feces].
In the late 1970s, the San Francisco Department of Public Health saw “75,000 patients per year, of whom 70 to 80 per cent are homosexual men….
An average of 10 per cent of all patients and asymptomatic contacts reported [to the Department]… because of positive fecal samples or cultures for amoeba, giardia, and shigella infections were employed as food handlers in public establishments; almost 5 per cent of those with hepatitis A were similarly employed.
Ron Jeremy gave a speech once and talked about his first day on the set where they were filming a*** scenes with another couple and as soon as he got to the set the first thing he noticed was dozens of Fleet enema bottles all over the floor. He said he thought at first the scene was an a*** gangbang, but as it turned out, the little 6-7 minute scene had taken half a day to film and the actors had taken a break for lunch too. He said the director told him that even a fleck of brown in an a*** scene was enough to ruin a person's career and repeated douching was required.
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