You can't compensate it

[ReichAndRoll]

As mentioned, developing a thick skin to the whole situation would be one approach... although that would probably take a bit of time. I'm not sure if anyone ever fully accepts hair loss, but rather just stops caring altogether and puts it in the back of their mind. I think developing even a slight sense of humor about it can also be beneficial. I mean come on.... look at Larry David, lol. The guy's able to make jokes about baldness all the time. And yes, i know he's got money.... but that's beside the point. Also one more thing to keep in mind - the majority of other people we encounter on a daily basis aren't as focused on other people as we think. Guess what... they're focused on themselves and their own insecurities!

 

[GeminiX]

Baldness only has this effect on a small number of people as far as I can tell; I was NW6 myself and it certainly didn't ruin my life. I have also worked with so many bald men it's impossible to count, many of which had great jobs, families etc.

Don't misunderstand me, of course it sucks and I don't think I know any bald guys who *not* would really like to get their hair back again, it's just not the debilitating, life-ending, sky-is-falling condition that you would believe it is if you read some of the posts here.

edit: missed a *not* up there, as in given the option most guys who have lost their hair would like to get it back.

 

[s.a.f]

As mentioned, developing a thick skin to the whole situation would be one approach... although that would probably take a bit of time. I'm not sure if anyone ever fully accepts hair loss, but rather just stops caring altogether and puts it in the back of their mind. I think developing even a slight sense of humor about it can also be beneficial. I mean come on.... look at Larry David, lol. The guy's able to make jokes about baldness all the time. And yes, i know he's got money.... but that's beside the point

Larry David is the worst offender I know, the guys in his 60's and seems obsessed with his baldness. Well thats what I think why else would he mention it multiple times on every show or interview? To me that means either he's sarcasticly taking the piss out of bald guys who dont accept it or he's living with the same attitude and in his mind he thinks about it constantly. All those baldness jokes are done in a self pitying kind of way, any man who had accepted it would'nt feel the need to constantly bring it up.

Also one more thing to keep in mind - the majority of other people we encounter on a daily basis aren't as focused on other people as we think. Guess what... they're focused on themselves and their own insecurities!

Baldness only has this effect on a small number of people as far as I can tell; I was NW6 myself and it certainly didn't ruin my life. I have also worked with so many bald men it's impossible to count, many of which had great jobs, families etc.

Don't misunderstand me, of course it sucks and I don't think I know any bald guys who would really like to get their hair back again, it's just not the debilitating, life-ending, sky-is-falling condition that you would believe it is if you read some of the posts here.

Fact is there are 2 catagories of bald guy, the ones who just dont care about it and the ones who do, but the same can be said for fat or short guys too.
And unfortunatley anyone who's ended up on this forum is in the latter catagory.
The problem is further compounded by just how much it effects your appearance. If we were all Vin Diesel lookalikes this place would have hardly any posters. But unfortunatley alot of us were hit hard looks wise by the effects.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Interesting thread.

The first thing I would say is that it is all very subjective.

For me (I started receeding around 17.5 - now 21.5), the first two years were really bad. I couldnt accept the thought that I was even receeding, let alone balding. It was massive shock, not to mention that I was very vain. But it seemed like just when it was really starting to consume me, I eventually stopped caring so much.

I realised that my hairloss firstly was still pretty minor. Ive been lucky in that my recession has been quite slow. I eventually just by and large accepted the fact that I was receeding. It just became normal for me.

However I will say that the thought of actual thinning and going bald on top may be a whole different ball game. Im aware of that. I think so far I just realised that I had slight recession and it really wasnt the end of the world. But I think when you start noticably thinning on top - thats when you really have to be ready I guess. My hair is starting to feel more wafy and thin however..so who knows the time may be soon.

When that time comes, my plan is just to shave down and hope for the best. Probably not completely bic but jason statham style.

I dunno.

Here in the UK, baldness really isnt the end of the line. I dont know. I just dont know how people can get so upset by it.

I think the fact is the majority of the people on this site are under 25-30 I would guess. I would say this suggests that going bald is only a major problem for younger people who are more pressurised to look perfect. The fact that there are far less old people on this site suggests that as you age - you care less about hairloss. Most youngish guys adapt and just go with the flow, it can just take a while. Some people however are unlucky and get caught in a downward negative spiral -aka uncomfortable man etc. The majority of us will move on and hairloss will become normal/natural. Of course from now till that period, some people go through some kind of period of somewhat understandable/inevtiable depression, before eventually accepting it.

 

[ReichAndRoll]

Well i can't say i can completely disagree with your assessment of Larry D. There may be some bitterness still present to be able to make jokes in the manner in which he does... but just keep in mind that the Larry David you see on Curb Your Enthusiasm is actual Larry's "alter ego" if you will. He's stated that on numerous occasions. He's playing a character, just as all the actors on the show are. What you see on the show isn't the 'real life' Larry David. Besides, if he was as obsessed with his baldness as you mentioned.... with the loads of money he's made over the years, why hasn't he done anything to improve his appearance? He could have cruised down the same highway as Jeremy Piven for example, but he has chosen to rock the baldness.... jokes aside.

 

[s.a.f]

Well i can't say i can completely disagree with your assessment of Larry D. There may be some bitterness still present to be able to make jokes in the manner in which he does... but just keep in mind that the Larry David you see on Curb Your Enthusiasm is actual Larry's "alter ego" if you will. He's stated that on numerous occasions. He's playing a character, just as all the actors on the show are. What you see on the show isn't the 'real life' Larry David. Besides, if he was as obsessed with his baldness as you mentioned.... with the loads of money he's made over the years, why hasn't he done anything to improve his appearance? He could have cruised down the same highway as Jeremy Piven for example, but he has chosen to rock the baldness.... jokes aside.

Its not just on Curb, every stand up gig or interview he always brings it up somehow. Did you see the Letterman interview?

I truely believe that given the choice he'd gladly trade some of his money and success to be a better looking guy with hair ect. But in his position what's he gonna do? He's too far gone for anything other than a wig and it would'nt have done much for his reputation in the industry to go from NW7 to a full head of hair overnight.
Having been there myself I can tell you nobody 'rocks' the bald look they 'endure' it.

 

[Mens Rea]

Baldness sucks make no illusions here

BUT

not all girls are repulsed by it at all. Even with a full head of hair rejection is certain. No matter what certain types of girls will just not dig you

Girls arent perfect either, most girls ive hooked up with are too insecure themselves to really be as blatantly judgemental as many of you think. Girls are strange in a good way that many of us guys are in that their peceptions and rules changes when they get to know you. I know this for a fact and see it all the time. Ive had girls who wouldn't have been immediately attracted to me later practically love me.


I think for guys like UC etc, they simply havent got to this second level. They are paralysed by the initial superfical rejection that they have taken to heart so much it has compromised their personality and things that would get to know girls and attract them beyound the superfical levels. As i said, girls can go from not being attracted to practically bein insasciously attracted to you. I know this for a fact.

Men, grow some balls and IMPOSE your personality.

 

[bigentries]

bigentries, your here just like the rest of us, please climb down from that tree.

Of course I don't like my baldness.
But believe me, I had self-image issues, really big ones, way before hair was the least of my concerns (I used to keep it short because it was way too thick) and I have learned to deal with them.

Hair loss sucks, but I don't miss the ground, it's just a cosmetic issue. I hate my nose too, I hated my glasses, I've been in forums about those topics before, but I try to not to be overwhelmed by those problems.

The logic by many around here is that you can only care about your hair loss if you take the over pessimistic side. We already have a guy promoting murder, is that a sane way of taking care of baldness?

 

[Mens Rea]

...As i said, girls can go from not being attracted to practically bein insasciously attracted to you. I know this for a fact.

But you are assuming the guy has atleast a given minimum level of acceptable appearance, as far as physical attractiveness to females. This will get a guy's "foot in the door." Females are not even going to give a guy the time of day if he doesn't meet the "bare minimum" in physical appearance.

That is what is much easier to achieve for guys with a full head of hair, and a lot harder to achieve for bald guys.

Men, grow some balls and IMPOSE your personality.

Oh yeah? If you try to impose ANYTHING on a girl who does not find you attractive at least on a bare minumum level, you are most likely going to get:
1) Told to go f*ck yourself
2) Slapped across the face, then see (1) above
3) Her drink thrown in your face, then see (1) and maybe (2) above
4) One of her guy friends getting in your face, telling you to leave her alone (or he and his buddies will meet you in the parking lot outside)

The way it works, for the most part from what I have seen, is that a female must first allow themselves to be attracted to a guy. If you can't get your foot in the door (because of the way you look or whatever), then don't expect her to allow herself to be attracted to your personality.

From the angle you're coming from , you're right.

Firstly i think you misconstrued the point of me saying you have to impose your personality. I didn't mean go around being forceful and overzealous with girls - i meant get yourself out there in lots of circle, develop a good personality that people are attracted to.


About the "bare minimum" thing, im not going to bullshit you. OFCOURSE this is the case. But what you have to realise its not an absolute test - every girl has different tastes, different standards and different levels of compromise. You for example, i bet, aren't anywhere near hidious looking despite any confidence crisis baldness/scares may have given you.

 

[superfrankie]

If you can't get your foot in the door (because of the way you look or whatever), then don't expect her to allow herself to be attracted to your personality.

Very true. And it is the same with us.

 

[barcafan]

The only thing that still sort of burns me up is that i had to think about this sh*t when i was in my teen years as thats when this started. I'm still young but i know it definitely affected my stupid brain back way when. every 17 year old is stupid, having the worry of male pattern baldness on your mind just fucks your mind up even more. inhibition is a b**ch. I dont like to make excuses or blame sh*t on other things besides myself, but man thinking back on my highschool years, the very ANXITEY that hairloss brought onto me (even though i was really a Norwood 1.5 Tops) just messesed with my psyche, man. My looks didn't really change, but im SURE the way i carried myself and my overall confidence did change. It feels like it was hard to be totally relaxed and do sh*t that you really wanted to when all you're thinking about is why the hell the hair on your head is falling out. I missed out, man.

 

[Aco_KK]

I agree with barcafan 100000 %. It happened to me now, having to worry about this sh*t all the time while i'm at uni.

no one deserves hairloss...unless your hitler or something but especially no one in there teens deserve to worry about. thats whats fuckign retarded !

 

[superfrankie]

The only thing that still sort of burns me up is that i had to think about this sh*t when i was in my teen years as thats when this started. I'm still young but i know it definitely affected my stupid brain back way when. every 17 year old is stupid, having the worry of male pattern baldness on your mind just fucks your mind up even more. inhibition is a b**ch. I dont like to make excuses or blame sh*t on other things besides myself, but man thinking back on my highschool years, the very ANXITEY that hairloss brought onto me (even though i was really a Norwood 1.5 Tops) just messesed with my psyche, man. My looks didn't really change, but im SURE the way i carried myself and my overall confidence did change. It feels like it was hard to be totally relaxed and do sh*t that you really wanted to when all you're thinking about is why the hell the hair on your head is falling out. I missed out, man.

I know exactly how you felt. I experienced the same emotions at that age aswell. Having to worrying about hair loss when youre just a 17 y old kid is just...brutal. It shouldnt even be possible.

At that time it was affecting me so much that I had to quit school and take a break. Just becuase of the hairloss! I just couldnt stand the pressure of having noticable hairloss in high school. I felt so unhuman. So f*****g different to the others. Like an outcast. Fortunately I bounced back and finished school a couple of years later. But thats another story.

 

[ReichAndRoll]

Wow, you guy's starting thinning out that early.... sorry to hear. I can imagine that'd be tough, especially since h/s was such a popularity contest. Being preoccupied with hair loss at that age would be brutal. I think i wasn't bitten with the hair loss bug till about 22, but any age lower than 70 is too early to have to be dealing with this b/s! Anyway, keep your head up!

 

[deadlocks]

Idk you guys all talk like every other man that isn't bald looks like brad pitt. If you wear some decent clothing, dont rock the thinning look, a decent body and are not much of an a**hole you are probably more attractive than 60% of the normal 'male' population. I guess man that come to these forums are vain to begin with so yeah, you'll put in some effort.

Problem is with most of us that irregardless of hairloss, we're all pretty insecure it seems. And insecurity alone can bring out pretty ugly aspects of your personality. I know it for myself at least.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

There is no way to compensate it... sadly this is true...

 

[Aco_KK]

Just get as big as Vin Diesel and your set.

The problem?

Not many of us have the discipline to get as big as him, heck we already have bad genetics with hair loss, it'll probably be genetically impossible to get that big.

Although, to many people you'll still be the bald/ing guy. But f*** them.

 

[Michael84]

There are also many things in life that you can't "compensate": too tall, too short, too big nose, too small nose, too fat, too thin, etc. Did you notice bald people before you started to lose hair yourself? I didn't. It just didn't matter. I had friends who were hairy and who were bald, they all were good for me. I think that it is mostly psyhological issue when you start blaming your baldness for all sh*t that happens in your life. And it is a big problem only for you and your self-esteem but not for anybody else...

 

[superfrankie]

Did you notice bald people before you started to lose hair yourself? .

No

 

[BrightonBaldy]

There are also many things in life that you can't "compensate": too tall, too short, too big nose, too small nose, too fat, too thin, etc. Did you notice bald people before you started to lose hair yourself? I didn't. It just didn't matter. I had friends who were hairy and who were bald, they all were good for me. I think that it is mostly psyhological issue when you start blaming your baldness for all sh*t that happens in your life. And it is a big problem only for you and your self-esteem but not for anybody else...

I think we all had bald friends back in the good old days and didnt think anything of it, or commenting on it even.

Looking back I mustve said a few things that pissed people off and I can now see a few young NW5+ers I was friends with who were very low in confidence.

I have shaved my head down to a 2 since my teens but only started to go bald at 24, I remember being called 'bald' a few time by people and laughing about it knowing my hair was fine, hairloss wasnt anywhere in my thoughts. Different story now, if I get referred to as 'the bald guy' or hear a hair comment as I did back then, I just cringe now in pure hatred of it.