Tinder experience

[marco75]

Hi folks,

I recently joined tinder a few days ago after a breakup, I put one waist up selfie as my profile. I am NW5-6 and buzz cut my hair so it's clear in the picture. However I also am over 6 foot, thin dress well and have good skin (thanks Sisley) and would say, without being vain, good looking good jawline eyes, lips etc. So far I have over 30 matches 8-9 girls initiating chats and 4 gave me their numbers without asking all are attractive as I swipe selectively, I live in a smaller city also in the UK. I also get girls hitting on me at bars etc. Just wanted to share that as there is a lot of self loathing/negativity on here.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

BS

 

[g.i joey]

I only believe this cause you are tall. If you were 5'7 with all those features and bald, it would be alot harder no doubt about it

 

[g.i joey]

Idk about you but one of the most common things I see in a girls about me section is "must be taller than 5'8" or one of the first questions they tend to ask me is my height

 

[Derpicus]

Step 1 be attractive
Step 2 be attractive

Granted some people are just handsome, I mean a bald handsome guy can still get a lot of girls, but a majority of people will still go for the handsome guy with hair. I mean there are girls out there that like the bald look, but a misconception I find on this forum is that everything is based off of looks. I mean in our society a majority of it is based off looks, but there are other things that can earn you points, being in shape, knowledge etc. But it all depends on the girl, but idk I agree with the negativity, this forum can make you feel like if you go bald you are gonna be forever alone.

In Canada at least in SK girls like taller people as well.

 

[marco75]

Girls can't guess your height from a picture.

I put mine on Tinder and it's usually why I get matched with girls who say they're 180 cm on their profile.

Otherwise I get one match out of a hundred swipes. Sometimes more, but the girls quickly lose interest due to the high number of NW1 they can choose.

I put my height and that im slim (although you can see that from pic) and I am professional. That along with a good pic seems to work well. You can clearly see I am bald but its cut with 2mm so not as noticeable and I have good shaped head and nice skin so thats helps. I am still looking at geting a hair transplant though going to see ******** next Monday, because hair is always better than no hair, but being bald doesn't mean you are automatically ugly and undateable. However I am 40 so the girls I am looking at are 28-40 so for younger guys it may be harder.

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I only believe this cause you are tall. If you were 5'7 with all those features and bald, it would be alot harder no doubt about it

Could be I put my height in the profile and I agree if I head a full head of hair I would be more attractive. But what I mean is its about the whole package. You could have a great head of hair and below average face average height, bad skin etc and the tall handsome bald guy is going to be more attractive. I have seen upteen very hot women with balding guys, one thing they had in common was they looked like they looked after themselves and they had the remaining hair very short.

 

[daredevil]

To be honest - I think some times if you are dead honest on your profile (say "Ugly, bald and impatient") you might get more matches as some might prefer a straight talking guy

 

[Captain Hook]

Damn girls in the US/UK are obsessed with height.

No girl has ever asked me that online here.

And I've been doing online dating for 8 years now.

I can confirm this fact. In Australia it's even more stringent, I've seen girls tinder profiles "about me" section say "only interested in guys 6ft+"

 

[CursedMen]

It makes me a bit mad that these girls, who probably aren't bringing a whole lot to the table, can request all these things from a guy. But if I wrote, no girls over 150 lbs. They would call me a pig, filthy, etc. Kind of a double standard.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

Baldness is truly such a unique problem since there's no easy fix to it and is incredibly difficult of deal with.

The other day, a girl told me that even if a guy was great in every day, he only had to do one tiny "mistake" and he was out.

Women standards have really become insane. A lot of women are not even aware they're demanding something that does not even exist.

I don't find these hard to believe at all, I've seen those actions before.

Men aren't allowed to complain about anything. In our times we are seen as bad, period. It's like what happens to many when we were very young, we lived for the hope that things will just change and get better, but that becomes harder to sell the older you get. Growing up we're told to work hard, be kind, and all the good things will follow in life. Looking back now, those lies really infuriate me. There needs to be a way where people can live for mutual betterment instead of constant degradation, though unfortunately, change like that won't be happening anytime soon.

 

[Marky]

I'm sure guys are the same way, atleast to an extent which I think is normal. But reality sets in as you age and become more realistic, and perhaps burned a time or two by a "dream" significant other.

Weird. We know being tall is more attractive, but since when did it become a requirement?

I guess most girls have been brainwashed by the media which constantly tell them they deserve the best and can have it all.

The other day, a girl told me that even if a guy was great in every day, he only had to do one tiny "mistake" and he was out.

If guys don't look and act like a character out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, they're not worthy of their attention.

Women's standards have really become insane. A lot of women are not even aware they're demanding something that does not even exist.

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Nah. Only if you're a hot woman can you command that kind of authority. And most woman are only average.
I figure when it comes to woman the best solution is make a million bucks before ever getting married, then sign a prenup and the pretty honey won't wield any power in the relationship. I'm not a liar or cheater but can't depend on my partner being the same. If she doesn't like something she can leave, but not with my money.

Baldness is truly such a unique problem since there's no easy fix to it and is incredibly difficult of deal with.



I don't find these hard to believe at all, I've seen those actions before.

Men aren't allowed to complain about anything. In our times we are seen as bad, period. It's like what happens to many when we were very young, we lived for the hope that things will just change and get better, but that becomes harder to sell the older you get. Growing up we're told to work hard, be kind, and all the good things will follow in life. Looking back now, those lies really infuriate me. There needs to be a way where people can live for mutual betterment instead of constant degradation, though unfortunately, change like that won't be happening anytime soon.

 

[recedingyt]

It makes me a bit mad that these girls, who probably aren't bringing a whole lot to the table, can request all these things from a guy. But if I wrote, no girls over 150 lbs. They would call me a pig, filthy, etc. Kind of a double standard.

I think the important thing to remember here is perspective. If you put "no fatties" on your profile you're probably going to get less matches because even a lot of skinny women will be put off by it. Is that really so different from what you feel when you see a girl write "6ft+ only"? It's not right going in either direction, but then again another part of tinder you have to remember is that it's mostly just a hook up app. You're judged on your measurable qualities, not who you are as a person... and the truth is 90%+ of guys are not attractive at a glance because they don't put any amount of work into it. I say that as someone who is attracted to men, too. If you want to take steps to make yourself attractive at a glance you can, and everyone has a shot at that if they put in the work, but most guys put in the bare minimum of effort to maintain their appearance and then whine about how no one finds them attractive. I don't think guys appreciate the amount of effort most girls put into looking as good as they do, if someone spends like 20+ hours a week maintaining/improving their appearance they don't want some regular joe schmoe who spends like a grand total of 30 minutes on themselves.

I guess what I'm saying is if guys didn't swipe right on girls who had that crap in their profile then less of them would put it there, but guys are more willing to overlook someone's vapidness/vanity for the sake of possibly getting laid. That's at least partially on you guys. And a lot of the guys who complain about women not being attracted to them don't do anything to change that other than whine, which again is 100% your fault in that case. You want something then you go out and get it (that sounds oddly rapey but it's meant to be a "get your *** to the gym, peasants" sort of thing)

Everyone quotes the "rules of tinder" as if they're ridiculous but honestly it is way more ridiculous of people to assume that anyone owes you ANYTHING as far as sex goes. You should never expect someone to sleep with you if they are genuinely not attracted to you. Debating why they should lower their standards for you is delusion on your end, not to mention slightly creepy.

 

[recedingyt]

Ahh the good old defeatist attitude.

"If you're ugly you will always be ugly" - sorry, but that is a ridiculous attitude to have and exactly the sort of thing I was getting at in my post. Sure, some people are born with great facial features and will never go past NW1, but that is not reality for most people. With that being said though, you don't HAVE to be genetically gifted to be attractive. You can always become objectively more attractive through hard work. Why did you get your transplant if you did not think it would make you objectively more attractive? That is what I'm talking about, hard work and taking steps to change your appearance is how most people become attractive, not purely genetics. By arguing otherwise you're no worse than obese people who claim to be overweight because "muh guneticz made meh fat!!!1one"

Whining about how genetics ****ed you over and you can never compete with other men on a forum is the exact opposite of bettering yourself. Most people (probably close to 100% I'd say) have the ability to make themselves more appealing, they just don't actually put in the work, and that's pretty much entirely your fault if that is the case.

Going to the gym won't change your results if you're ugly. Some guys can do whatever they want to "improve" themselves, their results won't change.

Dear god the delusion, Fred! Let's look at Vin Diesel. Now I know he's one of those guys everyone touts as an example for the "looks better bald" crowd, but do you seriously think people would think that if he didn't put in hours upon hours in the gym to have a good physique? What if he was a skinny loser or instead of being muscular he was pudgy and fat instead? He doesn't have great facial features objectively speaking. He's got kind of a fat face tbh, at least for someone his size. Again you are playing the defeatist card because you were not dealt a great hand. This is YOUR OWN FAULT. YOU are accepting defeat instead of saying "I will better myself". Saying "I shouldn't have to better myself for these judgmental women" is exactly the same as an overweight woman demanding skinny men be attracted to her because "I shouldn't have to lose weight to have a fit boyfriend". No, Fred. That is not how the world works.

Most women also spend hours upon hours taking care of themselves, starve themselves so they are thin, etc. but then some guy expects her to be into him even though he probably puts in the bare minimum to make sure he doesn't stink (IF that!), probably has a subpar sense of style, and has a ****ty/obviously insecure attitude to top it off. Yeah, it definitely all comes down to the hairline, Fred! Darn women and their selectiveness.. if it weren't for these genetics!

It's true, you shouldn't expect someone to sleep with you if they're not attracted to you. But you know what? If a girl doesn't find you attractive, she never will, no matter what you do.

That's just so wrong. I can't even begin to imagine what world you live in where you think this is true. I was a scrawny little emo kid in High School. A few years later I got pretty cut and all of a sudden the very same women who rejected me in High School wanted my dick. I guess if you improve your appearance but your mindset is still that of an insecure unattractive guy then yeah no **** they won't all of a sudden become attracted to you. For the record, I was known as having awesome hair in High School and by the time I made these changes and those women started coming onto me I was already a NW4. I saw myself declining, so I took steps to change myself in ways I could control. It's not a hard concept.

I think attraction is static, and genetic.

Yeah, TOTALLY. Because hard work means nothing. An attractive person can put on 200 lbs and still be attractive, because genetics. Absolutely ridiculous. Hair is a FACTOR but it is only a factor not the entire story. Being NW1 guarantees you nothing. I bet you brush off the changes in these people's appearance simply because "duh they have a full head of hair of course they're attractive" even though their attractiveness has obviously changed while their hair has remained static.

It's on us you say? At least we would give a lot of women a chance.

That's exactly what I'm saying. You're acting as if nothing you do matters when that couldn't be further from the truth. And a lot of guys like you who are probably like 3-5s on the 10-scale claim that they aren't so judgmental but then expect women of a much higher caliber to be interested in them. It's ridiculous, you can't expect women who are 6-8s to be interested in you if you're like a 4 at best. I'm sorry if you're a short NW6, that must suck balls. I can't even imagine. But if you're an unattractive man then you have to set your sights on unattractive women. This is the real world where you get back what you put into it. That doesn't mean women have too high of standards, if anything the ironic part is that you're probably the one with standards set much too high, especially since you seem to think nothing you do has the power to improve your appearance. This line of thought is often used by the same sort of guys who self identify as "nice guys"... who are pretty much universally not nice guys.

Honestly it sounds like you're trolling at this point.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Weird. We know being tall is more attractive, but since when did it become a requirement?

About 10 years or so ago, I was on a platonic friendship personals site. A girl contacted me. We exchanged a few emails. Then she asked me about my height, said all her male friends were above 6 feet, and then blew me off.

 

[Derpicus]

Going to the gym won't change your results if you're ugly. Some guys can do whatever they want to "improve" themselves, their results won't change.

Sorry but I can't really agree with that. An ugly fat guy or even slightly overweight will still be worse off then an ugly fit guy. Sure you may still have the same face but there are multiple benefits to being in shape / going to the gym. I guarantee that if a ugly out of shape person tried getting a girl, a ugly in shape guy would have a way better chance.

Saying going to the gym won't change anything sounds like an excuse for not wanting to put in effort to improve a different aspect of ones appearance. I know you put a lot of emphasis on hair and I know you put in effort of maintain your hair with minoxidil, the hair transplant and etc. I know that hair makes a huge difference, I know I don't know how it feels to be fully bald and you may brush me off as being smug. But I just don't get how you can view going to the gym as pointless. I mean being in shape adds a lot of points when it comes to girls. I agree with a lot of your points but there is always something you can do to improve ones appearance but it all depends on how much effort you actually want to put in to it. Hell we even live in age where if you truly were born with a very ****ty face as a last resort you can get minor plastic surgery done to improve that to some degree. But I think your changing poses, different angles for pictures, adding a dog all seem like cheap excuses at effort. But I'm saying this based on your post.

Cause in my opinion you don't know the women who reject you, a lot of women put in a lot of effort to look the way they do. Make-up, dieting, going to the gym etc, I mean some of my friends girlfriends won't even eat a slice of pizza because it has 2 many calories, or even have whatever sorta treat that you can think of even if its only once a month sorta thing.

 

[Marky]

The only fat unattractive woman I've know to command authority are with an unattractive man with low self esteem. I've also heard one chap say that once his kids married, the wife who appeared normal, turned into a psychopath. My other observation is woman are always willing to cheat, married or not, if they can get something "better" -as perceived by them - perhaps better height, hair, structure or whatever. They walk into marriage cause that's what was available at the time and freak out over being "alone", but always have that wandering eye open.
I've had woman flirt at the office with me, or seem extra friendly relatively speaking, or sending you non-verbal hints, you wonder why knowing they are taken whether seeing someone, engaged or married. Then you meet their counter part at a social or xmas party and the pieces fall into place - their significant other is balding, chubby or short. It's always an eye opening experience and reminder that that woman around your arm may not be sharing the same sentiment as you - it's competitive and the strongest survive.

I've seen ugly and fat women command that authority. They want a tall hot NW1, and usually they get it, otherwise they wouldn't be so delusional.

It doesn't get better with age. If anything, it gets worse. You can even find 49 year old women demanding a man who isn't bald and has no grey hair.

While women's standards are in the stratosphere, men's standards have declined. And you see a lot of good looking guys settle for a land whale.

The best solution is to get rich! Right, because all men can do that. You can do that!

The best solution is: don't be unattractive. If you are, forget about women and find joy in something else.

 

[swingline747]

I put my height and that im slim (although you can see that from pic) and I am professional. That along with a good pic seems to work well. You can clearly see I am bald but its cut with 2mm so not as noticeable and I have good shaped head and nice skin so thats helps. I am still looking at geting a hair transplant though going to see ******** next Monday, because hair is always better than no hair, but being bald doesn't mean you are automatically ugly and undateable. However I am 40 so the girls I am looking at are 28-40 so for younger guys it may be harder.

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Could be I put my height in the profile and I agree if I head a full head of hair I would be more attractive. But what I mean is its about the whole package. You could have a great head of hair and below average face average height, bad skin etc and the tall handsome bald guy is going to be more attractive. I have seen upteen very hot women with balding guys, one thing they had in common was they looked like they looked after themselves and they had the remaining hair very short.

put up the tinder link, lets see the pic

 

[recedingyt]

You literally didn't address a single point I, or anyone else, made other than basically saying "this will not help me".. well maybe you're right? Maybe it won't help you (especially with that defeatist attitude you stubbornly insist on having). But the bottom line is it's not bad advice to give in general to someone looking to change their appearance. Just because you're stubborn and think you've somehow peaked in your physical appearance even though you likely don't work at it much at all doesn't mean telling other people not to worry about it and that genetics are all that matter is good advice. It's ****ing horrible advice, frankly.

I don't think you realize how narrow your perspective on this subject really is and yet at the same time you think you've figured out this great secret that women are shallow/vain. Your problem is you are deluded about the way society views women. It's clear you think women should not be shallow, even if you're not directly saying it, your posts all but spell it out/make it out to be an issue with women. That is your own bias coming through. Everyone knows PEOPLE are vain. It is not a gendered trait, and it's no one's fault that people are that way. It is just how the world (and evolution, I guess) works. From BOTH sides. So yeah, you pointing it out is redundant and reflects on your own views of women, not the other way around.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Fred, I really think the fat women who are demanding to be with a good looking NW1 are looking to boost their self esteem. What better way to boost it than show off your new hot looking NW1 boyfriend to everyone and say you can all suck it now. And the reason, the guy agreed to date her is because he has low self esteem himself and feels he can't get anything better. Your self esteem dictates everything. If its low, you will settle. If it is high, you will only want the best for yourself and you won't ever settle. I always thought my self esteem was low, but subconsciously for some reason I only wanted the best and I would never settle. What that meant is my esteem was much higher than I projected. And there is nothing wrong with wanting the best looking but with it comes high maintenance .

Of course, women will be attracted to a guy who takes really good care of himself because they figure he will do the same for them. Women constantly complement when I am buying "grooming" products and say its always great when a guy takes care of himself like you do. Women love well groomed men. Just like men love well groomed women. If you look dirty and unkempt, most women are not going to want to be around you because it shows you might be lazy and have poor hygiene. You have to dress for success and that holds true when it comes to finding a partner. If you put a great photo up on the dating sites, you are going to get complements.

And its true the tall, NW1, good looking guys are going to get the most hits because every princess wants a prince. Fairy tales are what we grew up on. Everyone wants their happy ending. Unfortunately, with depression and anxiety at an all time high, happy endings are just fairy tales. Divorce and sites like Ashley Madison are a reality. The problem with relationships are once you get over the infatuation, you have to go deep and that is what so many people fail to be able to do. So if you want to put some more notches on your bedpost on how many 9's and 10's you scored, then good for you. But if you can last in a HAPPY relationship more than 5 to 10 years, then you must be doing something right and your self esteem level will have alot to do with your success. The best relationships exist when two partners can boost each other's self esteem to a level that equals happiness for both.

 

[shookwun]

Numbers mean nothing. In the passed 3 weeks I've gotten over 20 digits and only gone on 5 dates. Oddly enough I met a girl at the mall a week ago and managed to go on a date the next day.
Matches and mutual likes mean absolutely nothing. Even numbers adequate to zilch.

Until you go on a actual date you have achieved nothing

Meeting in real life trumps online dating.