Tired Of Baldness. Tired Of Ugliness. Tired.

[Joan]

Exodus, once again, you are wowing me. If anyone follows all your posts from the beginning they will see how much you have evolved. You don't realize it but you have become very modest and charming when you write now. Modesty and charming will attract people becomes it comes across as a form of confidence. People are very attracted to "intellect". Ask Joan or Evil? They will tell you modesty and intellect make a person both charming and attractive.

I think EL should comment on this, since she's in Exodus' age group. I agree with you 100 percent that Exodus has evolved, but, as I mentioned before, when he said it wouldn't matter to him if a woman had hair loss and that it would make her more unique, I knew his bark was worse than his bite. And Exodus, when women tell each other they're beautiful, sometimes they're talking about on the inside.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Our firefight between tolerable versus intolerable looks is generally fueled and refueled intensely on
three enemy fronts.: systemic cultural value/belief, biological heredity, and identity (visceral).
For proponents/opponents alike; truce talks may merely come down to a mutual delineation of inches.
While the apparent spoils of the cultural ground war ( appearance) may quickly be lost to our high ranking superiors- the luck(ier) ones,

I should also note that even the luckier ones' or decoratively advantaged may be be cut down ie: if they fall asleep
on mandated watch patrol or contract awol fever and in their blind delirium, stumble over tripwire
and instantly level their identity on the minefields of complacency.
Otherwise these popularized hellhounds of war are well fed and amply supplied.

Today I mourn for the unlucky ones - the unknowns and uncared for, the innumerable casualties
whose dying cause(s) it would seem, serve only to darken and underscore the gray lines preexisting between unfriendly forces
and neutrality's nebulous DMZ .

This day I urge all who may be listening to collectively step outside their antiquated Styrofoam lined comfort sphere
of silent reverence; boldly speak out in solidarity for our fallen stars, their outwardly brilliance
already half-consumed by their own inner darkness'.
Those who on a daily basis received no friendly cover but a beggars pittance of charity
to support their precarious ramshackle defenses.

This day I speak out loudly for the warriors prematurely waist deep in burial pits dug by their own despair,
while the smoke from the barrage of firestorm chokes out the thin air around them
and each carpet bombs hiss venomous expletives as they plummet unremittingly overhead;
routine discharged by the winged serpent squadron's of conceit who wipe out the sun like
a hooded, blasphemous ceremonial flyover, signaling Hell on Earth.

I speak out for the sake of the disorganized and disenfranchised band
of hardened fighters and reluctant greenhorns.
This admixed band of 'broken tooths' and 'flimsy nails', suddenly trapped in the crosshairs of rejection
to which (paradoxically) neither one can independently defend against nor flee from .

So they suffer or deny until their willpower dies from disillusions both contrived and derived from nature-
What nostalgia likes to whispers at the strangest intervals "the goodness and duality of humankind".
As they are running and reloading, their eyes are darting quickly, scanning their ever narrowing peripheral
at every opportunity, searching for the ever elusive and hard- to-find ally in themselves.

I speak out today in mourning for anyone who misses their self-reliance,

 

[shookwun]

Doctor, in all fairness: don't you think this piece of advice is a bit ingenuous? You have minor hair loss, and are apparently considered good-looking by many people, even being compared to Keanu Reeves. Exodus is poor, short and one of the most aggressive hair loss cases ever recorded. His base rate of success with women will likely be very, very low (I love Exo, not slagging him here, just stating how I perceive the situation). Not to mention he has a strong preference for cute white girls, for whom the competition will generally be the hardest.

I agree that intelligence and modesty are attractive traits. However, by themselves I find it highly unlikely that they will attract the opposite sex. If one is good-looking too and/or high value in other areas, it will add to the appeal for sure. But being too deficient or flawed in other areas would make the effect net to zero.

Exodus needs to adopt the Sylvester Stallone shoe lift principles, wear a toupee, and start lifting weights.

I don't typically advocate wigs, but in his case it might be the only viable option.

I'd rather the truth then false hope, and something to hold onto. He has nothing to loose and the transition could work seeing as he it somewhat reclusive from my understanding. Could present a new improved version of himself without raising any suspicion


Fake it till you make it.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Doctor, in all fairness: don't you think this piece of advice is a bit ingenuous? You have minor hair loss, and are apparently considered good-looking by many people, even being compared to Keanu Reeves. Exodus is poor, short and one of the most aggressive hair loss cases ever recorded. His base rate of success with women will likely be very, very low (I love Exo, not slagging him here, just stating how I perceive the situation). Not to mention he has a strong preference for cute white girls, for whom the competition will generally be the hardest.

I agree that intelligence and modesty are attractive traits. However, by themselves I find it highly unlikely that they will attract the opposite sex. If one is good-looking too and/or high value in other areas, it will add to the appeal for sure. But being too deficient or flawed in other areas would make the effect net to zero.

Zircon, with all due to respect I don't see why you had to use my situation, mind you in fine detail, to make your point. I guess now I have a big bullseye on my forehead for you to aim at. I was just trying to complement him and was trying to be optimistic but you obviously don't think Exo has any chance to attract someone of his caliber. I don't understand why you feel you needed to make this post but I am very surprised that you did. Too me if almost feels like an underhand attack but I know you will somehow justify it with some ulterior motive. I am not going to debate you on this issue any further and you definitely are entitled to your opinion but I honestly have lost a lot of my respect for you at this point. Let's just let it at that.

 

[stachu]

Jesus this forum turning into self-confidence gay forum. You ugly - No you are ugly. God. No i have worse situation, No you're 6ft2 i am 5'8, But you're NW2 Wait till you're NW5 "FULLHEAD". I dont get it. How half of you pretending to be smart and trying to give tips and advices since actualy youre done nothing... some of you overthinking things too much. Good Night.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Jesus this forum turning into self-confidence gay forum.

No it isn't. With that being said, the more I learn about Exodus, the hotter he becomes.

 

[Exodus2011]

Doctor, in all fairness: don't you think this piece of advice is a bit ingenuous? You are have minor hair loss, and are apparently considered good-looking by many people, even being compared to Keanu Reeves. Exodus is poor, short and one of the most aggressive hair loss cases ever recorded. His base rate of success with women will likely be very, very low (I love Exo, not slagging him here, just stating how I perceive the situation). Not to mention he has a strong preference for cute white girls, for whom the competition will generally be the hardest.

I agree that intelligence and modesty are attractive traits. However, by themselves I find it highly unlikely that they will attract the opposite sex. If one is good-looking too and/or high value in other areas, it will add to the appeal for sure. But being too deficient or flawed in other areas would make the effect net to zero.

sorry Doctor house i appreciate the compliments but theyre good enough by themselves. i'm glad if you just consider me modest and charming, thats worth just as much if not more than being attractive imo.

yea i agree as well looks matter the most of course. just thinking about this one nerdy girl i know, that i wanted to get with, ended up going out with a guy who wasnt nerdy. just hot. its like "damn, tis the way of the world" lol.

and shookwun i would work out and use minor shoe lifts, i just gotta get motivation again. i used to do bodyweight exercises and it was a great feeling seeing myself get more developed and strong. that was back when i had hair though. i'm too embarassed to use a hair piece, it attracts too much ridicule. especially considering that no attention is what i want

but i've stopped complaining for real cuz i know its within my power to change things (go to school, get a good job/make money, and get a transplant). now the only way to move forward is the battle in my mind, like it is with everyone.

life is about fighting your own personally created demons imo

 

[Exodus2011]

No it isn't. With that being said, the more I learn about Exodus, the hotter he becomes.

you went from a theoretical 7/10 to a theoretical -3/10 once i found out you stopped playing call of duty and mortal kombat mayne

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Haha. Funny you wrote that. I was going to hijack this thread and tell you to pick up Destiny. Rise of Iron is coming out on Tuesday. You are missing out.

 

[Dench57]

Exo are you in the US? I'm sure it's been mentioned before but a Fred style transplant (2-3k grafts in frontal third, buzzed down to create a frame) would be your best bet assuming your donor hair is up to it. Obviously this is like twice the price in US compared to Belgium.

 

[Exodus2011]

Exo are you in the US? I'm sure it's been mentioned before but a Fred style transplant (2-3k grafts in frontal third, buzzed down to create a frame) would be your best bet assuming your donor hair is up to it. Obviously this is like twice the price in US compared to Belgium.

too anxious to get a job or go to physical school atm. im working on one thing at a time

idk i got other big issues that keep me down besides baldness

 

[Joan]

Doctor, in all fairness: don't you think this piece of advice is a bit ingenuous? You are have minor hair loss, and are apparently considered good-looking by many people, even being compared to Keanu Reeves. Exodus is poor, short and one of the most aggressive hair loss cases ever recorded. His base rate of success with women will likely be very, very low (I love Exo, not slagging him here, just stating how I perceive the situation). Not to mention he has a strong preference for cute white girls, for whom the competition will generally be the hardest.

I agree that intelligence and modesty are attractive traits. However, by themselves I find it highly unlikely that they will attract the opposite sex. If one is good-looking too and/or high value in other areas, it will add to the appeal for sure. But being too deficient or flawed in other areas would make the effect net to zero.

Zircon, if Exodus set his sights on girls of his "caliber" or even a little below, rather than focusing on cute white girls, do you think his modesty, charm and intelligence would be appealing to those who are more looks matched?

Regarding DH's sensitivity, age doesn't always lessen how deeply we are affected by people's words to or actions towards us. Our reactions don't always become easier to control either. As DH mentioned, some of us remain eternal works in progress.

As someone who's struggled with negative body issues to different degrees forever, I will say that being frequently complimented and approached by the opposite sex does not always change our perception of ourselves. I think you were surprised when you shared your pictures with several members and were rated a 7-8. It seemed to have made you see yourself in a more positive light. I may be wrong in my interpretation, and I apologize if I am. I don't doubt DH is a handsome guy. However, for those of us with extreme BDD, being told we're attractive is only a temporary high. Even if I elaborated on my feelings and experiences, it still would be difficult for anyone to understand unless he/she has lived with such issues.

Please go easy on me, zircon. At 53, I still get hurt very easily.

 

[buckthorn]

Exo's situation is very extreme. We don't even really know what constitutes "looks-matched" in his case, and whether it would be possible for him to be attracted to someone who was. He is a virgin and has never had a girlfriend. While not directly disprovable, telling him that intelligence and modesty will get him someone he likes seems like a stretch to say the least. In my opinion it is a somewhat condescending thing to tell him.

Anyhow, he is entitled to having a preference and shouldn't be beat up over it. If cute white girls are what he is attracted to then he should be allowed to have that as his standard.

There is a big difference between the subjective experience of ugliness, which you are correct in saying that I have had, and actually being ugly or having undesirable and abnormal traits. I have at various points tried to share my experiences with Exo but have since come to realize that they are not applicable to his life. I had a starting point that was vastly better than his. Getting feedback on my level of attractiveness made me realize that what I experienced as positive reactions to changes in my personality might have been heavily influenced by my looks.

There is no reason to go hard on you. I don't think I really went hard on the Doctor either. However, at age 53 I do expect someone to be able to handle their views and opinions being challenged. Fortunately you have no problem in this area so don't worry about it. Others in your age bracket still have some way to go.

well said. You know what though? My little sister is a pretty attractive woman. She dated a guy for about 8 months who would definitely fit into the "dante / exodus" category very easily, if not even more extreme (DON'T mean to offend anyone here. Going off of what these posters have said themselves). He was complete NW6, skeleton physique, with an odd shaped head. My dad said to me after dinner one night, "why is she dating this guy". I told him that was rude, that she really likes him.

Well, she did REALLY like him. Actually HE broke HER heart. She talked about him for a couple years to follow. I am not trying to spew any bullsh*t about how looks don't matter. We are obviously far past that.

In her own words, "he was such an intelligent, poetic kind soul, blah blah, insert some hippy sounding crap".

Despite his looks, she WAS very, very attracted to him and had a hard time letting him go.

Perhaps we don't need an explanation for this. We don't need to know why or how it happens, but it does. I have a few other friends that are attractive (5-7/10) and are happily married to dudes that look like f*cking aliens. Bald / balding combover as well. I obviously would never, but I REALLY want to post FB pictures here as proof.

-oh and a funny side note - she would always defend his "hair" by saying, "he DOES have hair. it's like... really soft, fuzzy, baby hair". I would laugh, then go home and cry, realizing my fate. haha

 

[Dench57]

My little sister is a pretty attractive woman.

PM me pics and I will give an objective assessment

 

[I.D WALKER]

Undoubtedly EX's duly noted charm, modesty, etc.,
will attract him more social review. In fact there's a good
chance he experiences that with his peers already. How we act (carry ourselves) often synergistically influences how others interact/ react .
The operative question EX has probably asked himself many times over
how/why would these endowed personality traits ^ impact his romantic QOL any?.
While it's true that we all our expectations need dialed back from time to time,
it is apparent that EX's evolving growth is untainted with aesthetic DOG's.

This is not to say his formerly deep sensitivity to his aesthetic profile (or lack of )
and the social ramifications involved have not( understandably) damaged the-growth rate of his psycho/social development,
as it has done in different ways for (too) many here.

On the other hand if you ask me to list a couple things
I have grown to admire about EX:

I think justifiably sitting like a gilded crown (and baldless)
on top of this neat list ,
in their chronological /vertical sequence of importance.

Primo/#1:
EX's uncommonly smart yet tough choice
to assimilate his distinct humor with pragmatism and
In accomplishing this tremendous task, he has slowly turned
the powerful knife of disadvantage(s) he painfully endures each day
into a symbolic relic of moral defiance,
rather than a diabolic weapon of moral defeat.

I can't promise these endearing qualities will favorably sway his stats in the future
but I have to say only say EX's hard knocking maturation is looking more
and more attractive each day.

 

[DBW]

That's an interesting anecdote buckthorn, says a lot about your sister's character too. Cases like these are exceptions I would say, bleaker trends hold true on average. Knowing that they do exist gives you a reason to hope though, and undermines the case of those who say genes decide our life in a deterministic manner.

Exactly. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment behind the fatalistic opinions of Fred, cope4life and others, I do think they take it a bit far. In my experience, the connectors between looks, personality and dating success are much more permeable than some members of this forum are willing to concede. Yes, physical appearance is important, but to suggest that other factors don't hold weight is utter nonsense. I can think of dozens of objectively highly attractive women I've simply failed to be attracted to. Invariably, it was their personalities that let them down. Conversely, most of my most serial crushes over the years have tended to be relatively plain looking. Their personalities ended up informing their looks to some extent; I would find myself unconsciously seeking out things to find attractive in them, a cute nose, nice eyes, tasy ears (!) etc. A great personality can do that, it acts as a kind of aesthetic filter. That said, this phenomenon definitely has its limits. Whilst these girls were certainly not supermodels, they were by no means ugly, nor was I the only one to find them attractive, which suggests that their probably was something, albeit unconventionally, of value in their appearances - they actually had quite a broad spread appeal. Similarly, I can also think of plenty of girls with whom I've also got along exceptionally well, but never could picture myself being with romantically. Often they tended to have some kind of really obvious physical defect, that I just wasn't able to get past. I'd wager baldness (in lieu of a good head shape and bone structure at least) is a similar kind of deal-breaker for most chicks.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Yep. Anyone who has dated a little bit (even as a late teen) can see that these traits on their own have little value for attraction. It's the same way a lot of money can get your girls. Yes it does, but not necessarily with true sexual attraction. Primary indicator is looks and then people assess personality to determine long term satisfaction. How far will modesty or intelligence get a guy trying it on with a nice girl in the park?

I've seen intelligence work for people, and my observation/estimate is that it needs to be nearly off the scale intelligence and coupled with a personality strong enough to communicate said intelligence. I know some guys with "average" looks who have done very well with women. I'd put the threshold at approximately an IQ of 150, which corresponds to 1 in 2000. If my estimate is off a little bit it might be 1 part in 10,000. At around that level and higher girls seem to respond very well.

But for looks, you don't need to be 1 part in 2,000.

[/pedantry]

 

[tellersquill]

Guys, being bald isn't the best thing in the world but sometimes we take this far out of proportion. Yes, balding as a whole will make you less physically attractive, but hell, even if you were a 7 and you went to a 5 you will still be able to get a woman.

I'd advise many of you to go to your high street or shopping mall and look at a lot of couples. Focus on men under 40 who aren't that attractive and look at their partners - you will be surprised at how many have better looking partners.

A mans life has more meaning than how pretty he is. Do you think anyone really cares if one of the greatest Brits of all time - Winston Churchill - was ugly? No, he became great for his actions rather than his looks.

Besides, all looks fade, for some it happens faster than others, but eventually we will all be on a similar playing field.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

If I can add a personal experience to this thread,

I'm f*****g tired too.

I've spent the past 16 months or so obsessing over diet, dropping ~55 lbs and now I feel like I'd benefit from losing another 15 lbs (another 2 months or 3 months if I'm efficient). Then I need to recycle my wardrobe again. Then I should gain muscle. I gotta schedule braces and lasik surgery, and a hernia surgery (I finally got proper American health insurance today). I've made good progress but I have more to make and it feels like it just doesn't stop and there's more work to do, in the meantime I have a career to think about, problems in the extended family to think about, and the remaining single women in my age bracket are being snatched up rapidly.

I think I've made progress with minoxidil+RU in terms of my hair, my hair looks ok now, but maybe I'll lose a Norwood next year and then I'll need an hair transplant. Or maybe Fidia+Histogen will give me a better solution. No idea.

Meanwhile I got a medical condition down there and thus far no doctor has any solution. I'm doing nofap, I'm at 23 days now, and it's f*****g difficult. There is no conventional medicine to guide me here. They have no f*****g clue, they just give out some combination of v****/cialis/levitra+antibiotics. A while back, years ago, a urologist told me to take saw palmetto. It did nothing for my ED.

So I'm f*****g tired too. I feel like I'm taking 1 step forward and 1 step back all the time.

I'm deeply envious, bordering on bitterness, of the people with only marginal problems, who can focus on living life and just moving forward all the time, going through the expected steps on time and correctly the first time. Healthy Good job. Hot wife. Retirement savings accruing at a brisk pace. Kids or kids on the way. Got a discount on their house. Biggest life problem is deciding whether to go to Fiji or to Hawaii for vacation.

My advice to other members of this forum, is to try and take care of any problems you may have as soon as possible. The earlier you go, the better. You have a lot of smart people here you can discuss things with. The clock is always ticking, and that's the most fundamental truth of life.

 

[EvilLocks]

I think EL should comment on this, since she's in Exodus' age group. I agree with you 100 percent that Exodus has evolved, but, as I mentioned before, when he said it wouldn't matter to him if a woman had hair loss and that it would make her more unique, I knew his bark was worse than his bite. And Exodus, when women tell each other they're beautiful, sometimes they're talking about on the inside.

I don't know what to tell you really, I'm empty inside and low on sleep today. My beloved grandfather passed away today, 92 years old. He was old and had a great and long life but it's still a huge shock to our entire family. And I feel so sorry for my grandmother who's now alone, after being married for almost 60 years. Anyway, I'm getting off track here - just needed to get that off my chest. I think intellect and charm is important, but I'm not going to lie and say that looks isn't.