Tired Of Baldness. Tired Of Ugliness. Tired.

[tellersquill]

To Buckthorn -

I'm 5'11 and 29.

Body wise I'm naturally slim so I had to work hard to get a stronger frame.

 

[Dante92]

Because I am challenging negative attitudes.

Yes, I agree hair loss isn't fun. I would love to have a full head of hair. But please, we cant get all depressive over it.

You're just trolling, and that's quite pathetic.

 

[tellersquill]

Zircon, I understand that it is worse for an even younger man then myself. I started to lose hair at 21 but I was lucky in many ways because it has taken 8 years to get to this NW3 stage. Now I have the debate of whether to get a hair transplant because finasteride didn't work for me.

I'm not saying being bald is the best thing in the world but I just want to let some of the younger guys know that it doesn't mean they are a loser and their lives are not over and that anyone who tells them so is a scumbag.

 

[DBW]

I wasn't trolling for looks. Jesus, I don't mind what you guys think. I think it was you that asked me what Norwood I was an to show you I posted a picture showing that I have no hair and it wasn't the end of the world.

Honestly, the reason I posted was because I know how it can knock your confidence but some people on here seem to have let it shatter who they are as people. Call me crazy, but I thought that was sad for these twenty something guys to be so hard on themselves when I'm sure they have lots going for them.

I appreciate what you're trying to do t-quill. As others have said, you're a good-looking guy, though surely you've chosen a particularly good photo here? Black and white, playful, cocksure pose and flattering shadows - no way were you not fishing for at least a couple of compliments! Anyway, I'm glad that you're making the baldness thing work for you, sincerely, but I'm afraid I'm in a different boat. I have a pretty severe facial disfigurement and an unflattering head shape. I understand it may be tempting for guys like you to see posts like mine and assume we're exaggerating. Speaking for myself, I can assure you I'm not. But again, thanks for the kind words and concern. I do appreciate it, I just feel it's a little misplaced is all

 

[tellersquill]

DBW, thanks. It is a decent photo but the only one I have as I've only recently cut it off (I use it for pof so it had to be all fancy).

I'm sorry to hear about your facial disfigurement. Perhaps I'm not the one to give advice on that but I still feel that you have value beyond how you look.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

DBW, thanks. It is a decent photo but the only one I have as I've only recently cut it off (I use it for pof so it had to be all fancy).

I'm sorry to hear about your facial disfigurement. Perhaps I'm not the one to give advice on that but I still feel that you have value beyond how you look.

You're a good-looking man, and that is what sets your narrative.

 

[tellersquill]

David, but saying that means you will disregard everything I say because of the way I look. Ironically perpetuating what many fear will happen to them.

Would you only take advice from an 'ugly man'?

 

[Dante92]

You're a good-looking man, and that is what sets your narrative.

As always, you're an excellent judge of character. A few, key words to describe the guy and his "contribution" to the forum.

 

[tellersquill]

Zircon, but didn't you say you were Norwood 4? And you said you still have women in your life.

As to whether I'm NW3 or NW5 - it wouldn't matter right now as I shave it all off - you cant tell if I have hair or not unless I let the stubble grow.

 

[DBW]

DBW, thanks. It is a decent photo but the only one I have as I've only recently cut it off (I use it for pof so it had to be all fancy).

I'm sorry to hear about your facial disfigurement. Perhaps I'm not the one to give advice on that but I still feel that you have value beyond how you look.

It's alright mate, my face being how it is is certainly no fault of yours - no need to apologise If I haven't said it already, I agree with the premise of a lot of what you're saying, particularly the good-looking virgin anecdote. In fact, before I lost all my hair and then acquired my facial problems, I was exactly that guy, albeit not all that attractive. I was decent looking enough to do okay with the girls though, but my confidence did hold me back for a few years prior to this. Sure, confidence isn't going to make a guy with the face of a donkey suddenly metamorphosize into Brad Pitt, but a serious lack of it can definitely damage a guy's chances.

 

[EvilLocks]

I think you would have a MUCH different attitude if you weren't a tall, ripped dude with an almost perfect face. no? Imagine if you were 5'6", with a scrawny alien body and a large, weird looking head. Would you feel the same way? or would you be all depressive over it?

I went to a wedding on saturday, and one dude there was probably 5'1 (!) with an abnormally large head, super thin body and a NW3. His facial features weren't great either. I felt really sorry for him, but then I saw his pregnant wife/girlfriend walk over to him to give him a kiss and a hug. They both smiled and looked so happy. The wife/girlfriend was even shorter than he was but she was kinda pretty. So even though being ugly definitely puts you at a (huge) disadvantage, it is possible to find a decent gf/bf. This man is living proof of that, and he's not alone.

 

[tellersquill]

DBW, I was the same with the shyness. I didn't get with a woman sexually until I was 19 because I was scared of rejection.

I've managed to get past that and met many women over the last ten years but I am still naturally shy - I have to work around it.

 

[KO21]

I'm finding tellersquill attitude and posts kinda refreshing actually.
Thanks man i needed that today.

 

[tellersquill]

Zircon, I've used the toppik/caboki as well. It does work a treat, although there is always the terror of being caught out. I think my bald head wouldn't look that bad with a NW5 if I shaved it so there was no stubble - Ami James style.

Evil Locks - good example. Another case which shows that life goes on - even if a person is not handsome their life can still be fun and meaningful.

 

[DBW]

Zircon, I've used the toppik/caboki as well. It does work a treat, although there is always the terror of being caught out. I think my bald head wouldn't look that bad with a NW5 if I shaved it so there was no stubble - Ami James style.

Evil Locks - good example. Another case which shows that life goes on - even if a person is not handsome their life can still be fun and meaningful.

Toppik's great, yeah. Anyway, I think everyone takes your point: bald people exist who are doing okay. Again noone is denying that. But these people are not the majority. And even if they were, what use is such a statement to a person who demonstrably isn't? It may well be that people who are really really devestated by baldness are only a couple a dozen, okay, I don't agree with that but's let's assume it's the case. Your examples still hold no value for the people who fall into this category, however few they may be.

 

[tellersquill]

DBW, but the point I'd like to make is even if someone is genuinely ugly then their life still has meaning whether they are a good son, father, sportsperson, worker, artist, musician, traveller, philanthropist, brother and so on. Their life still matters and can be worthwhile even if they look like Danny DeVito.

 

[tellersquill]

Zircon, you see that's a more well balanced post. A pragmatic take on the matter of hair loss - yes, it hinders us, but it hasn't ruined our lives.

I'd actually be really interested to here more about your dating. Do you use tinder/pof?

When I cut my hair off I was scared I'd not attract women anymore and it was only by going on pof and still getting the odd message and a couple of good meet ups that I realised that I wasn't going to be celibate for the rest of my life.

 

[DBW]

For some people that may well be the case, sure, but for others it won't be. For me, looking in the mirror and seeing something I'm okay with is important. Even more important, in fact, this is probably about the only thing I really care about in life, is being able to have a long-lasting, good quality relationship with a girl I'm really crazy about. I want cuddles on the sofa watching trashy TV, "banter", hilariously over-the-top make-out sessions. I want to be able to lie in bed with a girl and just look at her. I also want to be able to fart, loudly, mid-way through sex and have her laugh at me, tell me I'm disgusting and then fire back a trumpet even louder than my own. My appearance makes it very difficult for me to cultivate this kind of relationship, heck any relationship at all. I don't really care that I'm an okay sportsperson and can cook up a semi-serviceable cheese toastie. I've got no one to cook up the cheese toastie for.

 

[resu]

I went to a wedding on saturday, and one dude there was probably 5'1 (!) with an abnormally large head, super thin body and a NW3. His facial features weren't great either. I felt really sorry for him, but then I saw his pregnant wife/girlfriend walk over to him to give him a kiss and a hug. They both smiled and looked so happy. The wife/girlfriend was even shorter than he was but she was kinda pretty. So even though being ugly definitely puts you at a (huge) disadvantage, it is possible to find a decent gf/bf. This man is living proof of that, and he's not alone.

Most of us dated, we have an idea what kind of partner we can get, the problem with hair loss is the fear of uncertainty. We were like this in the past and now we're like this and it's a very dramatic change.

Regarding your example, I've seen many times women that I wouldn't feel attracted to in any way with guys much better looking and better in life than me. It can go both ways, usually it's about opportunity, attraction and then conformism. A lot of couples break in the late 30's because they start thinking they can get someone better and the monotony starts getting to them as well.

 

[DBW]

Dante and others are right. In the nicest possible way, I just don't think you are ever going to understand this. I'm on the verge of creating a pretty sizeable thread about my experiences so if you're still interested feel free to check it out. Peace