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A Study Regarding The Importance Of Personality
- Thread starter Patrick_Bateman
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blackg
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This song blows.
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My voice is representative of the disturbingly high levels of DHT coursing through my veins. Oh right, that's why i'm bald...
anyways it was an angry day in the forum today, so i recorded another song to dedicate to the whole forum, but especially to @Dante92, @JohnsonDDG, @Rudiger & @Xander94, who i wish would just make out already and get it over with
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0yKloaVCEhx
goddamnit man! you can get any girl you want. but seriously, make music, get rich and live off the royalties. your voice is one in a million.
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dude, I am a pretty seasoned musician, but hate my singing voice. I will send you some tracks, with lyrics... you sing, we get rich. deal?
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CaptainForehead
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Damn. You're 6'4 right?
@Dante92 sent me a voice sample man, seems like I'm the only one who has not heard you.
blackg
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Bar chords kill me after a while.
I often use a capo too. For two reasons: To hopefully play a song in mostly open chords, plus drop the key of the song so it's easier to sing.
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Ah mane, as a guy who constantly tries to teach people out of bad guitar habits (and of course, nobody truly listens) please just keep trying the actual bar chord. You can't move a capo around, you are seriously limiting yourself if you ever want to take it more seriously, or just jam with others etc. I'm surprised you don't already find it completely limiting.
I normally would never suggest this but if you really can't bring yourself to keep playing bar chords, then play on an electric guitar instead of acoustic, it's much, much easier. If you can just about do a bar chord on an acoustic with fairly tough strings then it should be easy on an electric.
Of course learning on an acoustic is vital to me but if you absolutely can't do it, then fine, go electric for that.
And nice voice, I'm jealous. Me and my band are actually getting together just to cover a few songs this week, for the first time in a while. We made a few albums over 10 years ago but never got signed, and I used to sing but my voice is not very good. I've heard anyone with any potential at all can learn how to sing correctly over time, but I just haven't done it. Someone else is singing now, thank god. But he can't sing either lol.
Meh it's just a bit of fun, gives you an excuse to pick up the instrument now and then. Sometimes I don't play for months.
DoctorHouse
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Macaroni, king of photoshopping and now king of The Voice. You have many talents. I am very envious of you right now. Now record shook's theme song, He's back by Alice Cooper.My voice is representative of the disturbingly high levels of DHT coursing through my veins. Oh right, that's why i'm bald...
anyways it was an angry day in the forum today, so i recorded another song to dedicate to the whole forum, but especially to @Dante92, @JohnsonDDG, @Rudiger & @Xander94, who i wish would just make out already and get it over with
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0yKloaVCEhx
DoctorHouse
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Hands are gigantic, over 6 ft 3, talented voice and photoshopper. Man, I can't handle all this at once. No wonder why hair blues is targeting you now. Sorry Bucky but the buck stops here.
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Yep, guitar, piano, harmonica, pretty basic at drums but can still play I suppose.
I don't think anyone should be complaining about having big hands, that's a positive thing. Most people find their hands are too small.
DoctorHouse
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Dante can play the piano and Macaroni can play the guitar. I can hit the triangle a few times. Who else can we add to this Norwood spotter Boy Band.
CaptainForehead
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Macoroni is now the official Chad of this forum.
He is so chad that I can't even be envious.
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just LOOOOOL at being attractive and letting yourself go. i guess its not such a big deal after you've had a good amount of stacy fish on your dick haha
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I was not replying to you, Rudiger.
To be honest I was not replying to anyone. I was just adding my two cents to the importance of the concept of "personality" in mating.
It stems from my rejection of the idea that, if you are bad looking, you can compensate with "personality". It seems like yet another inversion of the "burden of proof" why people don't like ugly people. Does this concept imply that it is the fault of our personality if we don't hook up with Los Angeles wannabe actresses, whereas good looking or rich guys do?
First of all: what is "personality"?
There's an acronym describing a model for personality. It is "CANOE"; if you wish, follow these Wikipedia links to see that is is made up of openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
It is a very complicated concept. Too bad most people think that "a good personality" equals "meaning well" and "being kind hearted". I still have to get to know a sane person who says to themselves: I am a bad person and I am not justified by the circumstances.
So, when we hope that "personality" can make up for bad looks, are we sure we are not actually saying "let us hope that the universe helps me because I mean well although I look bad?" If we were to examine our personality, we might have the surprise that people do not think, for instance, that we are extroverted enough, and they do not like us even if we think they "should".
Second of all: About talking someone into liking you: not only is it extremely difficult; it is a plain mistake. I speak from experience. My two reasons why you should not "convince" people you area good match for them:
1. When you convince someone you are a good match for them, and they believe you, then you have to be up to the very high standards you have set for yourself. It is not easy, in a relationship, to be the one who "talked someone into the relationship". When you make a mistake, your castle will fall down and you will be the one who "is different from who they said they were".
2. The effort is big, the outcome is incredibly variable. When you try to "discuss" with a person you like, and try to convince them you are a good match for them, oftentimes you do not know how long they will take to realize that. If they ever will. It is not that if you both like jazz music she/he will be into you. You need time and patience and energy. A lot of energy. You know what happens when she/he finally says yes? That you are tired. You will start the relationship with a giant
resentment because you had to do most of the work for it, as if you were begging.
My suggestion is then to be as open and extroverted and kind as possible, but don't put too much pressure on your own "personality". Attraction is inexplicable and often silly. Don't overthink it.
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OK sorry for jumping the gun Roberto, it was just directly after me and Johnson were chatting and was the typical sort of response I get from some guys on here.
So anyway, I don't understand why when discussing this topic, everyone jumps to extremes to mock the idea, such as this:
No a manlet balding 5/10 isn't going to hook up with a hot young girl from personality, that's like a 1 in a million case. I'm sure we've all seen some ridiculous situations were a guy is totally punching above his weight but that is rare and not worth thinking about for 99.9% of us.
What I'm talking about is finding someone around your level. So for the 5/10 manlet to pull a chick who's even 4/10, he'll need to be able to talk to her.
In fact this is probably a more crushing reality than red pill. They will tell you with looksmatch if you're an 8/10 you'll obviously pull other 7 or 8's easily, unfortunately not! Plenty of guys pull way below their level because they simply can't keep up with an actual other persons mind, and keeping them stimulated and interested, making them laugh, etc.
There's obviously going to be some women who don't give a sh*t, especially younger and naive women, if he's hot then that's all that matters. This is not the majority though, not in my experience, and not from knowing plenty of people in relationships and female friends. They can be hard to keep on top of, and lol at guys who never talk to women thinking they're all ditzy, 1 dimensional and simple minded.
In reality a lot of them can be quicker and sharper than you are, even more balanced and analytical without sacrificing "mental state" (and actually some of these women can still be thick as pig sh*t but the way they talk is always 1 step ahead). They are usually sharper for a reason- they talk shitloads. They talk non-stop to their friends, sister, mother, it's just never ending conversation, a lot of it can be mind numbing to eavesdrop in on, but this is somewhat superior in a social training exercises in comparison to how males spend their time. We often play video games, watch TV, go to a club and stand in silence looking at women, etc. Our conversation is used sparingly.
So yes, forget an average guy pulling a Hollywood wannabe, forget a Chad who does absolutely nothing to get to f*** an average chick, these are all rather extreme variables that only make up a small percentage of real life situations. In reality Hollywood babe is not looking twice at anything less than 8/10, and Chad knows for his own status he can get Stacy and not plain Jane, so what does Hollywood babe and Chad do?
They go for people around their level, a point differential. And for that, which covers 90% of situations in dating, which as a result we should be looking at these "same level" potential relationships (which we definitely do not, it's mainly rare examples like the one you've used) then personality becomes important.
Once you've passed the test of looking somewhat appropriate to her level, she has a lot of other options on that level, you'll need to provide something else. On top of gaining her trust that you won't just f*** her and move on, you need to click in at least some basic ways, usually it can be a lot more complicated than that. Women knows men mainly are just sex obsessed, taming that beast in us is a thorough screening process.
So fine, we can keep looking at balding ugly guys and saying "lol as if he's trying to pull an 8" but it's rare a guy would be that deluded, and even more rare his personality will actually achieve this.
In reality the vast majority of women aren't jumping on dicks because of attractiveness, past a certain age at least (I'd say around 22-25 girls stop being so naive for looks). Of course sometimes it happens and you don't have to do sh*t, but nope unfortunately most of the time, if you're going around your level or even above, you need to be able to talk to her impressively, flirt, be interesting.
If you don't think this is reality I'd say you're an online dater, or not a dater at all, or have pulled only in those very rare "I did nothing" circumstances, or you f*** way below your aesthetic value.
OR a combination of most of those things.
So anyway, I don't understand why when discussing this topic, everyone jumps to extremes to mock the idea, such as this:
No a manlet balding 5/10 isn't going to hook up with a hot young girl from personality, that's like a 1 in a million case. I'm sure we've all seen some ridiculous situations were a guy is totally punching above his weight but that is rare and not worth thinking about for 99.9% of us.
What I'm talking about is finding someone around your level. So for the 5/10 manlet to pull a chick who's even 4/10, he'll need to be able to talk to her.
In fact this is probably a more crushing reality than red pill. They will tell you with looksmatch if you're an 8/10 you'll obviously pull other 7 or 8's easily, unfortunately not! Plenty of guys pull way below their level because they simply can't keep up with an actual other persons mind, and keeping them stimulated and interested, making them laugh, etc.
There's obviously going to be some women who don't give a sh*t, especially younger and naive women, if he's hot then that's all that matters. This is not the majority though, not in my experience, and not from knowing plenty of people in relationships and female friends. They can be hard to keep on top of, and lol at guys who never talk to women thinking they're all ditzy, 1 dimensional and simple minded.
In reality a lot of them can be quicker and sharper than you are, even more balanced and analytical without sacrificing "mental state" (and actually some of these women can still be thick as pig sh*t but the way they talk is always 1 step ahead). They are usually sharper for a reason- they talk shitloads. They talk non-stop to their friends, sister, mother, it's just never ending conversation, a lot of it can be mind numbing to eavesdrop in on, but this is somewhat superior in a social training exercises in comparison to how males spend their time. We often play video games, watch TV, go to a club and stand in silence looking at women, etc. Our conversation is used sparingly.
So yes, forget an average guy pulling a Hollywood wannabe, forget a Chad who does absolutely nothing to get to f*** an average chick, these are all rather extreme variables that only make up a small percentage of real life situations. In reality Hollywood babe is not looking twice at anything less than 8/10, and Chad knows for his own status he can get Stacy and not plain Jane, so what does Hollywood babe and Chad do?
They go for people around their level, a point differential. And for that, which covers 90% of situations in dating, which as a result we should be looking at these "same level" potential relationships (which we definitely do not, it's mainly rare examples like the one you've used) then personality becomes important.
Once you've passed the test of looking somewhat appropriate to her level, she has a lot of other options on that level, you'll need to provide something else. On top of gaining her trust that you won't just f*** her and move on, you need to click in at least some basic ways, usually it can be a lot more complicated than that. Women knows men mainly are just sex obsessed, taming that beast in us is a thorough screening process.
So fine, we can keep looking at balding ugly guys and saying "lol as if he's trying to pull an 8" but it's rare a guy would be that deluded, and even more rare his personality will actually achieve this.
In reality the vast majority of women aren't jumping on dicks because of attractiveness, past a certain age at least (I'd say around 22-25 girls stop being so naive for looks). Of course sometimes it happens and you don't have to do sh*t, but nope unfortunately most of the time, if you're going around your level or even above, you need to be able to talk to her impressively, flirt, be interesting.
If you don't think this is reality I'd say you're an online dater, or not a dater at all, or have pulled only in those very rare "I did nothing" circumstances, or you f*** way below your aesthetic value.
OR a combination of most of those things.
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here you seem to be implying that if you aren't getting along with someone then you aren't as smart as that person? lel. i'd say its more just not being compatible, whether in humor, interests or disposition (e.g. type a competitive people vs type b relaxed )
why mind numbing? boring shallow topics? if thats all they are discussing doesn't that strongly suggest a lack of intelligence? and what do you mean by "mental state"?
talking all the time wont necessarily help you get smarter. it could help you become more eloquent depending on the kinds of conversation, which would make you appear smarter. those things that males do like playing video games and watching movies can easily be more mentally stimulating though. you can watch philosophical and complex fiction or even documentaries if you wanted.
and as far as being stupid but being superficially witty, i've seen people like that. being able to talk BS more fancy. i'd guess its a lack of logical reasoning paired with decent verbal reasoning.