An answer to all the seriously depressing sh*** posted around here

[JimmyJones]

good points but i grew up in a poor home with divorced parents lol. my family is the complete opposite of loving. me and my dad communicate maybe once a week at most and i never talk to my brother.

i'm also 5'6' and 125 pounds so i don't have many compensating factors for baldness.

you said you started losing at 19, so wat is your norwood now?

Is that why you watch scat p**rn. You need help.

- - - Updated - - -

Okay, look, in fairness I appreciate your earnestness. It seems like your heart is in the right place. Also, full disclosure, I'm a NW1 who has stopped all his hair loss with Finasteride.

However, I too have flirted with the line of naive proselytizing on this forum. It seems dubious to me that 5 to 10 bullet points is enough information for you to judge the value, happiness, and privilege of a human life. This is also notwithstanding the fact that you've never met anyone on this forum, as you ask them to judge themselves by your 5 to 10 bullet point rubric. Life is a complicated abyss of emotions and interactions with environments. Some of the happiest people in the world are those with few material possessions. I'd like to see the suicide rates of Sierra Leone vs the United States. I would venture to say that those in the United States are higher. It's not that I don't have the inclination to agree with you, it's just that enough of my experience has showed me that I will never have the ability to fully understand the complexities of human happiness.

I will admit the following: there is no doubt that it is safer to live in the West; there is no doubt that I will live longer in the West; and there is no doubt that I have more of an opportunity for happiness in the West. But you have to admit the circular reasoning of your argument. You are essentially saying that "hey guys, the privileges you have from living in the west should make you happy considering your status as compared to those living in Somalia. However, you have little or no privileges (certainly not nice hair) as compared to those living in the West." Problem is we LIVE in the West. You are asking people to live there lives enjoying privileges they have in a part of the world in which they do not live, to help them ignore the lack of privileges in a part of the world in which they do. Be happy that you live in a part of the world that you do because you live in the part of the world that you do.

Also a quick metaphorical situation: imagine a domesticated dog. A Golden Retriever maybe. Now imagine this dog gets all the food it wants, and a warm shelter every day and night. But also imagine that this dog is almost always ignored, kicked and beaten when it makes a mistake, and never taken on walks.

Now imagine a Wolf. No guaranteed shelter over its head at night. It constantly is in a battle for it's survival. It has to fight and claw for every ounce of food it gets.

Which canine is happier? I ask you.

This is a good post. Also being depressed about balding is simply wanting what you once had. It's like that old saying you don't realize what you have until it's gone. The majority of humans do not want to be buddhist Monks in a temple. It's a natural human instinct to want to flourish and improve your life.

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Like eventually I would get to Norwood 3 V.

The "V" sucks. I would be happy if I could get rid of the "V" and just be a NW3. Doesn't look like it is going to happen though.

 

[g.i joey]

Losing your crown is Def worse than a receded hairline... there's actual styles that look good with a receded hairline... no style looks good with crown loss...

 

[Notcoolanymore]

I agree. My crown improved a little, but if I want to make it presentable I will need a transplant.

 

[g.i joey]

Shouldn't be too expensive to fill in. A guy walked into the barbershop the other day and spent 2400 on a transplant on the vertex about the size of a pool ball... he was at the stage where it's all red and bumpy so I don't know how it came out but he seemed psyched

 

[Wolf Pack]

The "V" sucks. I would be happy if I could get rid of the "V" and just be a NW3. Doesn't look like it is going to happen though.

Yes. finasteride has actually accentuated the thinning on my crown. Mainly because the surrounding area and rest of my hair as gone ultra thick to make it stand out. I already had thick hair and I presume pretty good donor density. I am hoping it fills with time for sure, currently it's noticeable only if you stare at it long or are a Norwood spotter. But ordinary folks can pick it up if you point it out.

In about a year or so I will have a transplant at the front and fill in the crown. I reckon I won't need many grafts at the crown if finasteride doesn't fill it out.

My hairline is moving forwards though slowly too, so best to wait.

 

[MrBald]

1. You were born without any genetic/psychological defects such as blindness, autism etc.
2. You were born in a politically stable country with average living standards, access to education and healthcare (at this point your life is better than more than half of the world's entire population)
3. You were born into a loving and united family circle (unless you were adopted or your whole family died, my condolences)
4. Your family has a middle-class income or more (now your life is even better than half of those living in your own country)
5. You're intelligent (I've gotten in the best university in my city which must count for something)

1. The way I see it baldness is a genetic defect which has a huge impact on a persons psychological health.

2. I would HONESTLY choose too live in a poorer country if I got my hair back. (ok, there is limits to this)

3. This is not true for everyone here.

4. Again, I would easily choose a to be very poor and have my hair over hairless with good income.

5. Its good to be intelligent but it don't necessarily make a man more happy.

I don't want to be too pessimistic or take away your optimistic attitude from you. I am actually happy that you can cope with your hairloss.

But I think its important to see baldness for what it is, at least for me, its hell.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Losing your crown is Def worse than a receded hairline... there's actual styles that look good with a receded hairline... no style looks good with crown loss...

True. My crown thinning is very slight cosmetically, if I had a full hairline I could still cover it by slicking all my hair back. What you say is accurate though, you can't really cover crown loss once it sets in.

 

[MrBald]

http://www.fredk.be/fue/before-hair transplant.jpg

This is the way my hair - or should I say "lack of hair" - looks now, actually its even a little bit worse.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

I don't understand what's with all the comparison of which type of Androgenetic Alopecia pattern is worse. As a young male thinning in a NW6 pattern which includes losing hair on the crown, mid-scalp, the front, the whole top of my head, either one is horrible. Hair loss is loss of hair and in any way, type, and/or pattern is purely awful. My styling options are incredibly limited.

 

[F2005]

OP has mostly lost hair at the back and still has a visible hair line.

That's why he can remain so confident about his hair loss.

A visible hair line makes a world of a difference.

/thread

Really! It always seems like the people who say to "man up" about hair loss and that baldness is not that bad are the ones with such minimal hair loss that no one would even notice. That, and they are on medication to ensure that they will not lose their hair themselves. Their actions contradict their words. I want to see some one like an NW6 who is not on finasteride preaching that hair loss does not matter. At least they are practicing what they preach.

 

[bluejay]

5. Its good to be intelligent but it don't necessarily make a man more happy. I don't want to be too pessimistic or take away your optimistic attitude from you. I am actually happy that you can cope with your hairloss. But I think its important to see baldness for what it is, at least for me, its hell.

As humans the only thing, which separates us from animals, is our ability for rational thinking. To grow to our fullest potential it’s important to develop our intelligence to the highest degree and that is how you will truly be happy. Real happiness is a life long commitment consisting of actions that lead to the flourishing of our rational capabilities. The really negative people on this forum (fred the Belgian for example) live their lives as if their plastic mannequins stuck in a store display window whose only purpose is to be admired for physical traits that are going to degrade with age anyways. My point with this post is to be realistic with our worldview and see ourselves as beings possessing the most complex organism we’ve analyzed in this universe (our brains). Before I went bald I never gave two sh** about seeing other bald people. I didn’t judge them negatively nor positively; they were just some random dude I didn’t even know. People on this forum beat themselves up so baldy that they create their own illusion where they’ve been but on a pedestal to be humiliated and repulsed by society when in reality no one gives a f** about it except yourselves. Does hair limit you’re ability to grow as a rational being? Do you have such shallow depth of character and personality that any superficial blow to your physical image so easily crumbles your self-perception and inhibits you from enjoying the awesomeness of the universe? We are more than just corporal beings because we’re already physically unexceptional as a species compared to tigers, who would of wiped us out if it weren’t for our intelligence. So cultivate that and you’re already cultivating yourself to your max potential. People here simply lack resiliency; we’ve never really came across any major struggle or disaster that tested our strength and perseverance. Why not use this opportunity to improve ourselves and bounce back from this; there’s going to be worse struggles in the future as we age and come to terms with dying. If you’re young and balding like me; improve your mind by reading books, exploring the world, traveling, get an education which benefits world peace and leads towards a career that really matters and improves society. I shaved my head slick bald last week and literally nobody gave a fu**; not my coworkers, not my friends and not my girlfriend. Why can’t all of you try to move on? Sure you can post 4-5 or even 10 self-hating rants, but some of the guys here go overboard its almost turning into sadomasochism. When I started balding, I was looking on the internet hoping to find a group of people saying; “Yeah balding really sucks and its hard to deal with at first, but with time you kind of get over it because it doesn’t really affect who you are as a person. But there’s also some treatments you can get on if you want etc.â€. Instead what every time I read posts on a forum like this, I felt like someone chopped my di** off. We’re creating our own prisons with this self-hating overly dramatic nonsense. It’s all an illusion, and that’s why I’m getting a lot of crap with this thread’ because I’m stating the simple truth and a lot of people can’t handle that. They'd rather spiral downwards and crumble because it's so much easier and requires less action; we can just blame all our misery on one aspect of our lives. It's just a scapegoat: hell, if I had hair right now I wouldn't be living any different. It's all a pipe dream to justify why our lives are sh**. This is an opportunity to test your strength of character and how stable and resilient you are as a human being. I’m grateful for this chance to improve and grow even further to show myself that I’m a real person and not just smoke and mirrors that can be brought down with the slightest defect in my appearance.

- - - Updated - - -

Really! It always seems like the people who say to "man up" about hair loss and that baldness is not that bad are the ones with such minimal hair loss that no one would even notice. That, and they are on medication to ensure that they will not lose their hair themselves. Their actions contradict their words. I want to see some one like an NW6 who is not on finasteride preaching that hair loss does not matter. At least they are practicing what they preach.

That's like saying a person who is 400 lbs overweight should't even feel bad because there's people who are 1000 lbs so they don't know what its really like to be judged as being fat. That picture is me buzzed to a no.2 and its STILL visible. Can you imagine if I grow it out? That huge hole does't fill in and the only way you would't notice it is if you had the eyes of Stevie Wonder. Baldness itself doesn't bother me, if I went bald at 40 I couldn't give less of a fu**. But I'm young so its only natural that I want to look the best I can. When I was obese I worked my *** off to lose the weight, so why not treat my hair loss if its not going to kill me? If it works then I'll be happy, but I'm not going to put all my stakes in it. I'm mentally prepared for the worst and will absolutely continue living my life on the current path either way; i.e. I'm not going to kill myself over it. You should really get over yourself because your not going to get far with your narrow-minded perceptions of how the world works.

 

[g.i joey]

wow bluejay, spot on bruh... we manifest our minds with these thoughts... these hairloss forums are actually poison... we take a look at how negative some people are and we feel like since we're in the same situation we should be negative too..

 

[Nadester]

TBH everything sounds good on paper.
You get the kick when you prove it in real life.

Posting here that "stop worrying and start living" is futile.
Why?? Coz this forum IS to help people accept the fact that their worries can be managed by getting on a regimen with proper knowledge of it.
That your worries are NOT unique to you only, most of the guys here suffer from it too(hooray i can talk freely now)

We are group of guys(girls too) trying(and succeding too) to go ahead and acheive our best so naturally their will be some sort of obstacles which could down us and we are not comfortable to talk about that with our family.
Then we turn to the forums and when we are over it, we break the walls and get ourselves a win.

Of course for some guys its 1 minute and for some it can 2 years. The best example IMO is Exodus.
If you checked his old threads then you will know how toxically depressed he was but now, he is good.
He is accepting and thriving for a better future.
**Exodus if i said something wrong then do correct me**

Also lastly YOU HAVE A VISIBLE HAIRLINE
You have a bad crown, i get it BUT A HAIRLINE MAKES A WHOLE LOTTA DIFFERENCE.
You won't accept it but i don't care at this point.
You DO NOT know what going bald means as uncomfortable man and fred would say.

 

[bluejay]

Also lastly YOU HAVE A VISIBLE HAIRLINE
You have a bad crown, i get it BUT A HAIRLINE MAKES A WHOLE LOTTA DIFFERENCE.
You won't accept it but i don't care at this point.
You DO NOT know what going bald means as uncomfortable man and fred would say.

I'm not saying to stop worrying, I'm just saying to tone it down a bit. So many guys here rehash the same depressing post in different forms and I'm sure it brings a lot of other people down. You can write as many rants as you wish, but maybe after a while you can just keep future ones in a diary or something because I believe these forums would thrive if it were more focused on discussing treatment options, future developments, success stories and guys introducing their emotions and how they felt when they first noticed the hair loss. The whole crown vs hairline debate is futile : both groups want to have the twisted comfort that their condition is the worst, beyond despair and is unrelatable in the struggles and pain which inflict their souls day by day, woe is my existence on an isolated cliff that is perched on the void of a black infinite etc.. Hair loss is hair loss, what is the title of this forum? Recedingtalk.com? I think crown-only is the worst because I've experienced it, and you think receding is the worst because you've experienced/ We're going through the same thing, just in different forms so we're obviously biased in how we're debating this. Let's just agree to disagree, yes receding is the word thing there you go are you happier with your life now?

- - - Updated - - -

I think the crown issue keeps getting brought up because people are put off about the tone of my posts. I've been balding for 3 years now so trust me, I've had a lot of time to think about this. Yes, I did go through a depression about it at first; I isolated myself, lost a lot of friends, two jobs and an apartment. I sh** you not. I suffered for it hard because I was always obsessed about my body since I was a fat kid and always wanted to have the greatest chance to be loved by people because I grew up as a rather lonely teen. The way I came to these realizations is through reading about philosophy, the cosmos, political science and anthropology. I simply gained a larger perspective of the human experience through tools that are available to all of you. I also sailed on with the love of my girlfriend, who doesn't care about my baldness. We were best friends before we dated, so she's mostly in love with my soul rather than my looks. All of you should focus on doing the same. Be friends with a girl, don't even think about her sexually or romantically, just let your two souls kind of jam together naturally to a beat and eventually it will happen if it was meant to. This approach worked for me and I've had three powerful relationships because of it. I'm just trying to speak up for those who are sick about feeling like they are diseased after reading these posts. It's just my counter-rant to all of that, to sort of keep a natural balance to these forums. I'm not trying to chastise any guys on here or try to act superior. I'm just being myself and hoping it can at least change one persons perspective, even if its just a little.

 

[Nadester]

Basically everyone wants a FULL head of hair coz they want to look good in public. To THE FAIR GENDER. To find a suitable mate and fornicate and have a family.

Now would that be possible without being a good looking mate?? Most importantly would a good looking mate shouldn't have good hair??

Now when you have an OK hairline but a dead crown, you can use concealers and find that girl BUT when its a receded hairline, its a hit and miss sort of thing coz those short hair cuts might or might not suit your face and most importantly YOU are not happy.

I believe these forums would thrive if it were more focused on discussing treatment options, future developments, success stories and guys introducing their emotions and how they felt when they first noticed the hair loss

Yupp i can't agree more on this. It would be better to know about follicept's vehicle info rather than knowing how your office workers can't make fun of the HR coz he is not bald.

As for posting on various forums and worrying.
TBH why are you forcing yourself on us??
I remeber back in 8th standard i failed in history but got above 70 in others but i tried to explain it to my dad, he said "Shut up and stop compromising. You think you will pass the school while failing in a single subject??". Hope this gives you some insights as to why your 5 points aren't that good.

Ps:-i know what i say won't make any sense coz neither are you Stop forcing your views on us pls

 

[uncomfortable man]

Maybe you dont live in a place that actively stigmatizes the bald, so you havent experienced how awful people can be to the inflicted... hence your not understanding how bald people are subjected to social humiliation. Loose the hairline and come live in california and I guarantee you you will see what the few of us real bald folk are talking about.

 

[bluejay]

As for posting on various forums and worrying.
TBH why are you forcing yourself on us??
I remeber back in 8th standard i failed in history but got above 70 in others but i tried to explain it to my dad, he said "Shut up and stop compromising. You think you will pass the school while failing in a single subject??". Hope this gives you some insights as to why your 5 points aren't that good.

Ps:-i know what i say won't make any sense coz neither are you Stop forcing your views on us pls

Who's forcing anybody? I'm just giving my view to balance things out, you can do whatever you want; your a free man and its your right. Why should I be forced to be subjected to the negativity all the time? It's my right to respond to it, but in the end people can post about whatever they want, I can't stop them nor am I trying to. As for the concealer, I already wrote about it :"I would use toppik, but its the part of putting the stuff on everyday that bugs me. I'd be even more neurotic because I would make a friend, and seem to have full hair initially. But then I'd have to apply it everyday, and I wouldn't know how that person would feel about me bald and one day I won't have it on, or it will rain/I'll be in a pool and feel...strange as he**. I'd rather let people know I'm balding straight off, so I don't obsess over what they think about it and can be comfortable around them."

 

[Nadester]

So you accept your baldness??

- - - Updated - - -

*you are balding??

 

[EvilLocks]

That's like saying a person who is 400 lbs overweight should't even feel bad because there's people who are 1000 lbs so they don't know what its really like to be judged as being fat.

You can't compare being fat to being bald. Being fat is a self inflicted condition while being bald is totally out of the inflicteds hands. A fat person could just get off their fat *ss and do something, but there is not much a bald person can do to regain their hair. So there is no comparing between the two.