Bald guy picking up girls

[Rudiger]

Thank you Evil.

Well, opinions about me vary. Some people here think I'm a 4.5/10 skinny fat guy with a potato face and a horrible personality.

So what is the truth? For my sanity, I'll try to have the same opinion about myself as yours .

You're already ****ing insane so don't pretend you have the option of changing.

As far as having a horrible personality, you've already admitted it. You know you're selfish and obnoxious, and you think everyone is the same. If you can possibly embrace the fact that you're human too, then- no wait I'll stop this sentence because that's impossible.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I don't believe people can change, much. Yes, I even think that being an a**h** is pretty much genetic.

Maybe I don't believe much in humans in general, in their inherent goodness or their ability to evolve.

People sometimes told me about how this person f-cked up his life by doing drugs, dropping out of school or other stupid decisions.

How can they get out of it and change? I think they can't, I think they're doomed. There is no solution for them.

People who would be smart enough to get themselves out of these bad decisions would never make them in the first place.

My experience in a psychiatric clinic is also what led me to believe that people don't change.

Out of the dozens of patients I've met, no one ever really made it out. It's like they all wanted to remain miserable.

They would get out, do drugs again, get in abusive relationships, voluntarily make a mess out of their lives etc.

I think I made it out because my problem was pretty real and it has partially been fixed.

And I didn't decide to lose my hair. People who made the bad choices I've cited only have themselves to blame.

I see this all the time in politics, social issues, in the media, to the questions "what can we do? what should be done?!", no one ever dares to say:

"Well, nothing, nothing can be done. If we look at the situation objectively, nothing's going to help" Why is it so hard for people to admit that some problems have no solution?

"How are going to solve the refugee crisis in Europe?" "Well, we have to kick them out!" "We can't do that" "Then there is no solution, end of the story."

Yet you see them talk on and on and on about this problem everywhere, pretending that there is something we can do about it. There isn't. Just let it go already.

I agree in practice.

Speaking in crude terms, the two things that affect behaviour are genes and environment, where we all know it's more complicated. There's a truism I read awhile back which is insightful. In a world where everybody has the same genes, all differences between people are due to environment. In a world where everybody lives in the same environment, all differences between people are due to genes.

The thing about environment though, is that we don't have that much control over it. We don't all live in the same environment, but whatever environment we live in we're mostly stuck in. If you're addicted to alcohol, you can empty your apartment for alcohol, which will definitely buy you time, and for some people a lot of time. However, in general, the environment is fixed. You will see alcohol everywhere you go. On billboards, on television, at house parties, at pub runs with friends, at weddings, in bakers and in restaurant, you can't escape it. Your best chance might be to move to Salt Lake City or to Bahrain.

Being an a**h**, I believe comes from a lack of empathy for others. I suspect that could be changed in childhood, by exposing kids to other influences. In adulthood? Likely impossible to change.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I agree with this and "your truism" is an insightful characterization of the ever argumentative discourse generally attached to the behavior sciences. Another stab at cracking the tiring proverbial chicken/egg riddle.
When we endeavor to understand personality origins in ourselves/each other,
time and again, unfailingly the how's? become as difficult to explain and no less intriguing than the why's ?

 

[Rudiger]

I don't believe people can change, much. Yes, I even think that being an a**h** is pretty much genetic.

Maybe I don't believe much in humans in general, in their inherent goodness or their ability to evolve.

People sometimes told me about how this person f-cked up his life by doing drugs, dropping out of school or other stupid decisions.

How can they get out of it and change? I think they can't, I think they're doomed. There is no solution for them.

People who would be smart enough to get themselves out of these bad decisions would never make them in the first place.

My experience in a psychiatric clinic is also what led me to believe that people don't change.

Out of the dozens of patients I've met, no one ever really made it out. It's like they all wanted to remain miserable.

They would get out, do drugs again, get in abusive relationships, voluntarily make a mess out of their lives etc.

I think I made it out because my problem was pretty real and it has partially been fixed.

And I didn't decide to lose my hair. People who made the bad choices I've cited only have themselves to blame.

I see this all the time in politics, social issues, in the media, to the questions "what can we do? what should be done?!", no one ever dares to say:

"Well, nothing, nothing can be done. If we look at the situation objectively, nothing's going to help" Why is it so hard for people to admit that some problems have no solution?

"How are going to solve the refugee crisis in Europe?" "Well, we have to kick them out!" "We can't do that" "Then there is no solution, end of the story."

Yet you see them talk on and on and on about this problem everywhere, pretending that there is something we can do about it. There isn't. Just let it go already.

Humanity would be totally ****ed if everyone thought like this down the line.

Yes it's very hard to "fix" people, with addiction problems, abusive relationships, etc. but without the hope of having support most of these people would be dead instead of in and out of rehab clinics and psychiatric wards, look at Russia or Brazil where the health systems infrastructure's are depleted and HIV and addiction related deaths soar, I mean what, should we just let them all die? Of course there's no immediate solution to the migrant crisis, and left and right wing across the political institutions across Europe are going so left and so right, to the extreme, that they're practically meeting in one big confused ideology which isn't making sense, but I mean, "just let it go already" hahaha. You just shouldn't have opinions on this, sorry.

Nobody dares say that there's nothing we can do because it's absolutely counter-productive, and it's unproven, you don't know that there's no solutions to any societal or political problems, it may seem that way I admit, but working towards progress in any was possible is really the only option we have. Giving up just simply isn't an option, saying "there's nothing we can do", even if it was true, doesn't do anything. You don't know of the possibilities that things can change over our lifetimes or beyond, much like they wouldn't have known where we are now from a century ago.

 

[Pradheep]

Baldness doesn't matter; only confidence matters.

 

[Rudiger]

Confidence is the only thing you need to have sex with women, who needs a penis when you got confidence?

 

[blackg]

I jerk off my confidence poll!!

 

[Austin:316]

1) He could have shot it over 7 nights, maybe 14 nights, talked to hundreds of girls, recorded many hours of footage and cut it down to 10 minutes showing the 7 or 8 girls who didn't tell him to get lost. If you fire a thousand arrows at a target that is half a mile away a few of those arrows are bound to hit the mark.

2) Also as others mentioned some of them surely saw the camera and played along thinking it was some sort of prank.

3) We don't know that the numbers they gave were real.

This video proves nothing. I think it's just a guy looking for his 15 minutes of fame. The video started by him boasting about how many views his last video got. That instantly made me dislike him.

 

[blackg]

1) He could have shot it over 7 nights, maybe 14 nights, talked to hundreds of girls, recorded many hours of footage and cut it down to 10 minutes showing the 7 or 8 girls who didn't tell him to get lost. If you fire a thousand arrows at a target that is half a mile away a few of those arrows are bound to hit the mark.

2) Also as others mentioned some of them surely saw the camera and played along thinking it was some sort of prank.

3) We don't know that the numbers they gave were real.

This video proves nothing. I think it's just a guy looking for his 15 minutes of fame. The video started by him boasting about how many views his last video got. That instantly made me dislike him.

His fake "urban" accent made me laugh.

 

[jd_uk]

and from the way you write it seems like you have a great personality too.

'Kin hell....

 

[Rudiger]

I don't believe people can change, much. Yes, I even think that being an a**h** is pretty much genetic.

Maybe I don't believe much in humans in general, in their inherent goodness or their ability to evolve.

People sometimes told me about how this person f-cked up his life by doing drugs, dropping out of school or other stupid decisions.

How can they get out of it and change? I think they can't, I think they're doomed. There is no solution for them.

People who would be smart enough to get themselves out of these bad decisions would never make them in the first place.

My experience in a psychiatric clinic is also what led me to believe that people don't change.

Out of the dozens of patients I've met, no one ever really made it out. It's like they all wanted to remain miserable.

They would get out, do drugs again, get in abusive relationships, voluntarily make a mess out of their lives etc.

I think I made it out because my problem was pretty real and it has partially been fixed.

And I didn't decide to lose my hair. People who made the bad choices I've cited only have themselves to blame.

I see this all the time in politics, social issues, in the media, to the questions "what can we do? what should be done?!", no one ever dares to say:

"Well, nothing, nothing can be done. If we look at the situation objectively, nothing's going to help" Why is it so hard for people to admit that some problems have no solution?

"How are going to solve the refugee crisis in Europe?" "Well, we have to kick them out!" "We can't do that" "Then there is no solution, end of the story."

Yet you see them talk on and on and on about this problem everywhere, pretending that there is something we can do about it. There isn't. Just let it go already.

I suggest to everyone as a little confidence booster to come back and read this post every now and then, and think "at least thats not my mind"

 

[blackg]

I suggest to everyone as a little confidence booster to come back and read this post every now and then, and think "at least thats not my mind"

There is a lot of truth to what Fred just said. It takes wisdom to see it.

 

[M.G]

Fred what's your opinion on CBT-therapy or therapy in general?

I'm curious since I started working in socialwork/psychiatry as a part of my socialwork-education, and I've seen you before I believe refer psychology to as a sham.

My mentor have a client who used to be an alcoholist and had a gaming addiction and recently he have becomed alot better so they suggested he try CBT-therapy since he seemed "receptive" now.

Thing is this client had already done CBT-therapy twice in the past which he claims to have no memory off. So why the **** would he seem more receptive now, since they arguably must have tought he was receptive back then?

My mentor said CBT seem to have more effect on people with social phobia, depression and such, since those conditions seems not to be fully biologically linked.

 

[M.G]

The only thing that can help you to alleviate your social anxiety is experience. The rest is just mental masturbation.

Nothing replaces experience. You need to get yourself out there, to talk to people. You can't rationalize away your fears.

I was in that situation, especially when it came to women, and the only thing that helped me was to put myself out there.

It was terrifying at first, but looking back, I'm glad I did it. I had made the mistake of looking into self-help BS (PUA included) first.

Again, no psychologist is needed. In fact I sorted most of these problems without the help of mental health professionals.

I made a structured plan, forced myself to go out, to go to events, to meet people, to have dates with women.

Action is the best therapy. And next to that there is writing, like I do on this website, this undeniably helps a lot with depression and to gain perspective.

Thanks for the answer man.

I think your experience and knowledge is invaluable to this site really.

Keep doing what you're doing.

 

[Joan]

The only thing that can help you to alleviate your social anxiety is experience. The rest is just mental masturbation.

Nothing replaces experience. You need to get yourself out there, to talk to people. You can't rationalize away your fears.

I was in that situation, especially when it came to women, and the only thing that helped me was to put myself out there.

It was terrifying at first, but looking back, I'm glad I did it. I had made the mistake of looking into self-help BS (PUA included) first.

Again, no psychologist is needed. In fact I sorted most of these problems without the help of mental health professionals.

I made a structured plan, forced myself to go out, to go to events, to meet people, to have dates with women.

Action is the best therapy. And next to that there is writing, like I do on this website, this undeniably helps a lot with depression and to gain perspective.

Fred, this was excellent advice. I would think you were closer to my age if I didn't know better, since these are wise words you would more often hear from someone who's lived more years and experienced so much more of life than you.

 

[Rudiger]

There is a lot of truth to what Fred just said. It takes wisdom to see it.

Way to give yourself a big pat on the back for being oh so wise.

You don't need wisdom to know that many people won't change, there isn't any ground breaking thought there, of course people will be in and out of rehab etc. and nobody needs this to be pointed out.

The main point however is that, as always with Fred, there's no black and white, maybe most people won't change, so in his mind that means ALL people don't change, we're all doomed and destined to be what we are, there's nothing anyone can do to help so why do we bother? etc. The great thing about you Fred Fanboys is that you always write "there's a lot of truth" to the real obvious stuff that any sentient creature could come up with, and you ignore the total bull****, and the total bull**** is what I take issue with.

There's any amount of evidence of drug policy reform severely affecting populations in dramatic ways, sometimes over the course of only a handful of years. In Portugal for example the legalization of all drugs, which meant redistribution of policing and criminalisation of drugs, and instead focussing on healthcare and treatment of abusers. Why was there such a drastic change when there's nothing we can do? Less dramatic policy exists elsewhere, even in less developed countries where you feel the governments are too corrupt and powerless, yet Botswana's only real drug problem is alcohol use, despite being surrounded by countries with a very high populus of drug abusers. The same gangs infiltrate Botswana and get nowhere, why? In South Africa the problem continues to get worse, despite showing improvements in the 90's, a lack of focus on rehabilitation has led to the amount of drug users nearly doubling, similar problems in Liberia and Guinnea Bisau, but allegedly there's nothing we can do, so why do such dramatic social changes exist?

Sure there's truth to what Fred said, but the truth part of it was just so meaninglessly obvious and you act like it was real insight, then the tougher issues he tried to give an opinion on was just some plain and simple ****ed up reasoning. Here's how you often see Fred's posts:

Fred: The ground around me and the soil is flat.
Fred Fanboy: I hear ya bro! Real talk!
Fred: Therefore the entire earth is flat.
Fred Fanboy: ... Nothin to see here.

But seeing as anecdotal evidence is all that seems to matter to you people, why did Fred only notice the same guys coming in and out of the clinic? Because duh, he's not going to notice the people who don't come back. I mean it doesn't get much simpler than that.

I knew a girl once who spent over a year as a nurse in a rehab clinic in Gothenburg, and she said it seemed frustrating having the same people coming in and out, promising to change, and then being back 2 weeks later after coming out of hospital. But she did also notice that the more experienced older and "wiser" nurses felt that nobody was getting better, were very close minded and dismissive of the idea that they were helping anyone, even though a large amount of people would only log in once, or twice, and then not return (for that year at least) presumably at least some of them became reformed, or at least we can only guess that as many did, than those who didn't (I just ****ing know Fred's going to barge in and definitively say NONE of them got better because there's no proof that they did). So this girl was surrounded by women who, to be fair did a very tough job over many years and became cynical, but all they could remember were the same characters, the same "re-offenders", while many passed through their halls never to return, many probably with only a minor drug problem that could have spiralled out of control without some support.

 

[Rudiger]

Are you sure you quoted the right post? Do you actually read what you were replying to? That had absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about.

 

[Rudiger]

I did read it more than once, the 2nd time trying to apply it to what we're talking about, and I couldn't.

So we were talking about whether anything can be done about substance abuse, I gave examples of how policy directly affects a populations substance abuse in dramatic ways, both positive and negative, in retaliation to Fred claiming that there's nothing anyone can do to change anything. You then brought up a completely un-related topic- the fact there's nothing we can do about hair loss, which is a different topic entirely than being positive about something we can directly change.

Nobody said hair loss is a positive thing, nobody is doubting that it negatively affects men, and nobody said hard work will make your hair grow back, so as to who or what you were replying to, I have no idea. I have not a clue who you're telling to "grow up" because nobody claimed such a thing, but I guess it's fun to invent little arguments that are easy to defeat ey?

 

[blackg]

Way to give yourself a big pat on the back for being oh so wise.

You don't need wisdom to know that many people won't change, there isn't any ground breaking thought there, of course people will be in and out of rehab etc. and nobody needs this to be pointed out.

The main point however is that, as always with Fred, there's no black and white, maybe most people won't change, so in his mind that means ALL people don't change, we're all doomed and destined to be what we are, there's nothing anyone can do to help so why do we bother? etc. The great thing about you Fred Fanboys is that you always write "there's a lot of truth" to the real obvious stuff that any sentient creature could come up with, and you ignore the total bull****, and the total bull**** is what I take issue with.

There's any amount of evidence of drug policy reform severely affecting populations in dramatic ways, sometimes over the course of only a handful of years. In Portugal for example the legalization of all drugs, which meant redistribution of policing and criminalisation of drugs, and instead focussing on healthcare and treatment of abusers. Why was there such a drastic change when there's nothing we can do? Less dramatic policy exists elsewhere, even in less developed countries where you feel the governments are too corrupt and powerless, yet Botswana's only real drug problem is alcohol use, despite being surrounded by countries with a very high populus of drug abusers. The same gangs infiltrate Botswana and get nowhere, why? In South Africa the problem continues to get worse, despite showing improvements in the 90's, a lack of focus on rehabilitation has led to the amount of drug users nearly doubling, similar problems in Liberia and Guinnea Bisau, but allegedly there's nothing we can do, so why do such dramatic social changes exist?

Sure there's truth to what Fred said, but the truth part of it was just so meaninglessly obvious and you act like it was real insight, then the tougher issues he tried to give an opinion on was just some plain and simple ****ed up reasoning. Here's how you often see Fred's posts:

Fred: The ground around me and the soil is flat.
Fred Fanboy: I hear ya bro! Real talk!
Fred: Therefore the entire earth is flat.
Fred Fanboy: ... Nothin to see here.

But seeing as anecdotal evidence is all that seems to matter to you people, why did Fred only notice the same guys coming in and out of the clinic? Because duh, he's not going to notice the people who don't come back. I mean it doesn't get much simpler than that.

I knew a girl once who spent over a year as a nurse in a rehab clinic in Gothenburg, and she said it seemed frustrating having the same people coming in and out, promising to change, and then being back 2 weeks later after coming out of hospital. But she did also notice that the more experienced older and "wiser" nurses felt that nobody was getting better, were very close minded and dismissive of the idea that they were helping anyone, even though a large amount of people would only log in once, or twice, and then not return (for that year at least) presumably at least some of them became reformed, or at least we can only guess that as many did, than those who didn't (I just ****ing know Fred's going to barge in and definitively say NONE of them got better because there's no proof that they did). So this girl was surrounded by women who, to be fair did a very tough job over many years and became cynical, but all they could remember were the same characters, the same "re-offenders", while many passed through their halls never to return, many probably with only a minor drug problem that could have spiralled out of control without some support.

I got bored...

 

[Rudiger]

OK here's the tl;dr version for a "wise" man like you; just because some of what he said is true because it's so obvious, doesn't mean all of it, or even the most important parts, were.