Bald On Bald Hate - Confession Of A 'fullhead'

[Runninghair]

After reading these boards for while something has become glaringly obvious to me. Instead of a balding brotherhood with elder statesmen, young padwans and middle norwood warriors we have become so divided. Its like lord of the flys.. Groups of similar guys in a power struggle for some unwanted victory in a sick twisted game that is baldness.

The nw1/nw2s aka the fullheads

The nw3s aka i wish i took finasteride back then but inworried about sides

The nw4s aka i wont listen to nw3s +

The nw5s + aka f*ck everyone, f*ck life..


The crazy thing is i dont blame the guys. I admit to myself that when i see a bald man i somewhat loathe him. I dont want to be him. I can also see why the higher norwoods hate the fullheads because they are wasting their lifes worrying so much when they have so much hair still.


My conclusion is that male pattern baldness not only makes people unsociable with society girls etc but also ourselves. We mock each others treatment choices, we love to tell the young guy your screwed by 23... It goes on.

We need to try stop the hate. I need to stop the hate..

BALD LIVES MATTER

 

[CopeForLife]

u w0t mate?

 

[blackg]

The crazy thing is i dont blame the guys. I admit to myself that when i see a bald man i somewhat loathe him. I dont want to be him.

This is what we have to stop. This right fuckin' here! It's pathetic.

 

[hellouser]

The problem is that each balding guy at every norwood level, or woman at any level, treats it as some kind of competition to see which individual has it worst. This doesn't solve anything, it actually creates a bigger problem. The solution is for everyone to realize that everybody's problems are relative.

Also, and I can't stress this enough; anyone who brings up cancer or being some kid in a war torn country to tell us things could be worse can kindly impregnate themselves. We get it, there are hardships outside of hair loss. Reminding us of that doesn't improve situation.

 

[blackg]

The problem is that each balding guy at every norwood level, or woman at any level, treats it as some kind of competition to see which individual has it worst. This doesn't solve anything, it actually creates a bigger problem. The solution is for everyone to realize that everybody's problems are relative.

Also, and I can't stress this enough; anyone who brings up cancer or being some kid in a war torn country to tell us things could be worse can kindly impregnate themselves. We get it, there are hardships outside of hair loss. Reminding us of that doesn't improve situation.

Smart point on the first bold comment.

Now, to your second;

The people who despise bald men.. they do exist, folks, don't take these poor starving kids into account when they express their views on our condition.

 

[Rudiger]

As someone who is in the "fullhead" category on here (but by no means to the rest of the world) all I've ever done on here is offered my opinion on how society views baldness, how I see it from my perspective of worrying and sympathising with it as something that seriously affects a persons mental health and self-esteem, and how I feel everyone I know or know of, the media, society in general, looks upon baldness often un-sympathetically but also with a balanced idea that not many people would see a bald guy and think his life is over.

So, that taken into consideration, I've never attempted to tell anyone how they should feel about their baldness or claimed to truly know, I just give the reality of how people view them.

Yet? I get told my opinion is not only meaningless, but it shouldn't even be allowed on here, the only opinion that shouldn't be censored is that of NW4+. If I even touch on the topic of how society views baldness and say a sentence like "it's not as bad as everyone wanting you to kill yourself" then I'll sometimes get a reaction focusing on a trigger buzz phrase; "don't tell ME it's not that bad!"

The irony is that a lot of fully or nearly completely bald guys on here clearly have mental issues, I don't even think it's up for dispute. That's not to say they can't express themselves well on this forum and aren't competent writers, but when it comes to reality outside of this safe little haven, there is no doubt that a bald guys view on how bald men are viewed, is really skewed.

And this is the source of the only opinion that's allowed? It's pretty ironic.

I don't blame people for venting, I'd do the same, but I think an unhealthy line is crossed when they force opinions down everyone's throat. We've had some fully bald posters on here who vent, and often acknowledge that their rather extreme opinions are a result of wanting to vent, and as bad as it must feel being bald there's still an outlook of reality there.

I think it's important to recognise that outlook and not promote people beating the sh*t out of themselves.

 

[Rudiger]

The people who despise bald men.. they do exist,

Yes I'll agree with this of course, but as for people loathing bald guys, to what extent? Neither of us can pretend to know. I would also say these are the same people who despise ugly or fat people, in exactly the same way, hating on everyone with weak genes, even if they have weak genes themselves and hate others in a form of psychological projection. I definitely think that the majority of people are actually un-desirable even among other un-desirable people, and some feel better by picking out flaws in others, they will loathe bald people because they have no hair, while they themselves could have horrible physical features.

They don't want to expend energy on hating the beautiful people, this just makes them feel sh*t, it feels better to hate on those who are just as physically unattractive.

don't take these poor starving kids into account when they express their views on our condition.

But I don't know what you meant by this.

 

[samantha3333]

Also, and I can't stress this enough; anyone who brings up cancer or being some kid in a war torn country to tell us things could be worse can kindly impregnate themselves. We get it, there are hardships outside of hair loss. Reminding us of that doesn't improve situation.

I used to think this way. But as a woman who hates fake eye lashes and brows with a passion, I'm very grateful that I'm not losing my body hair. That made it easier to deal with hair loss.

 

[swingline747]

I used to think this way. But as a woman who hates fake eye lashes and brows with a passion, I'm very grateful that I'm not losing my body hair. That made it easier to deal with hair loss.

Sounds like you have full on alopecia. I think this is a better situation honestly than just thinning hair on a woman or male pattern baldness on men.
male pattern baldness comes across with MANY stigmas that are just unattractive and poorly looked on.
I would hate to minimize your situation but I would take full on alopecia universalis over general male pattern baldness, I think. That way you would just have a disorder that IS CLASSIFIED as a disorder. With male pattern baldness its like a disorder that you are frowned upon for making it so.
At least with that I could wear a wig and lashes, etc and it would be expected, not mocked like a male pattern baldness guy wearing a piece.
Plus with that disorder there is always hope of a real cure, not like male pattern baldness.

 

[Rudiger]

I really liked hellouser's post earlier and I'm just going to use it as a reply to that swingline, apart from the valid point you make that a disorder may attract more research, I disagree strongly with everything you wrote.

And also although a disorder may attract more research, the example of alopecia vs male pattern baldness? Not a good example, alopecia is not a big market, you're better off having thinning hair (and I don't know this for sure but from a post the other day I think samantha is thinning, not alopecia).

The problem is that each balding guy at every norwood level, or woman at any level, treats it as some kind of competition to see which individual has it worst. This doesn't solve anything, it actually creates a bigger problem. The solution is for everyone to realize that everybody's problems are relative.

 

[Dench57]

I would hate to minimize your situation but I would take full on alopecia universalis over general male pattern baldness, I think.

Don't understand this at all. Do people care about sympathy from others or "society" that much that they'd take a condition which is way more aesthetically disfiguring, such as universalis, over male pattern baldness? Just because society deems it a "real" condition? I understand male pattern baldness becomes a bigger deal when you have more extensive loss, but I personally couldn't give a f*** about what others think about it, all I care about is what I see in the mirror.

And as for a cure being more likely, Swing didn't you get a hair transplant? Can't the vast majority of male pattern baldness sufferers get a hair transplant if it comes to it? No such option for universalis.

 

[Rudiger]

Yeah that was everything I didn't bother writing.

 

[DoctorHouse]

The problem is that each balding guy at every norwood level, or woman at any level, treats it as some kind of competition to see which individual has it worst. This doesn't solve anything, it actually creates a bigger problem. The solution is for everyone to realize that everybody's problems are relative.

Also, and I can't stress this enough; anyone who brings up cancer or being some kid in a war torn country to tell us things could be worse can kindly impregnate themselves. We get it, there are hardships outside of hair loss. Reminding us of that doesn't improve situation.

Good post. Unfortunately society made life a competition and we all know about "survival of the fittest". This concept of hating someone who is bald makes absolutely no sense. What makes sense is someone hating baldness.

This place has always been a "pissing contest" and everywhere you go, you find one as well. Many people are so miserable with themselves that they love to stir up confrontation just to make other people miserable as we all know misery loves company. Reality checks can be helpful as long as you don't attach judgement with it.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I must admit that this comment describes my situation all too well. I am miserable and have absolutely no reason to deny it; reality check is good, but you must change, too. Problem is, in time you get so used to being miserable that you almost like it and you don't know (or want to) stop feeling that way.

Yes, but you don't attack people on here. You actually have learned to have fun with sarcasm. And at least you know you can acknowledge you are miserable. That is actually a good thing. You know what it feels like to be at rock bottom. There is only one way to go and its up. Its like someone who has fallen into a deep well. They climb a few steps up and if they lose their grip, down they go again. They could make it all the way to the top and lose their grip and down they go again. That is going to be your direction but just remember every step up is a victory for you.

 

[Runninghair]

The thought of going to nw3 from nw2 scares hell outa me because to society i will become 'a balding man'.

A small norwood change but in societys eyes i will become a loser. Thought of becoming nw4 + just doesnt even bare thinking about.

I use to hate looking at bald men because i didnt want to be one. I can admit that. hairloss as dante says makes u miserable. If it isnt making you miserable as a bald man its making you miserable as a nw2 fearing the future. Its a catch 22 and one way or another it gets you in end

 

[DoctorHouse]

If only I could really see things that way and find the strenght and motivation to change. But it's been 24 years like this (my coherence is admirable), I seriously doubt I can, and I fear it's too late anyway.

Dante, I know how you feel. I struggle with the same thoughts at twice your age but I manage to push myself to make little changes here and there just to keep me from hitting rock bottom again. Those are little victories. You don't want to keep "hitting the snooze button" all your life. I know you want to change so when you are ready, you will. This place is a good start for you.

 

[swingline747]

Don't understand this at all. Do people care about sympathy from others or "society" that much that they'd take a condition which is way more aesthetically disfiguring, such as universalis, over male pattern baldness? Just because society deems it a "real" condition? I understand male pattern baldness becomes a bigger deal when you have more extensive loss, but I personally couldn't give a f*** about what others think about it, all I care about is what I see in the mirror.

And as for a cure being more likely, Swing didn't you get a hair transplant? Can't the vast majority of male pattern baldness sufferers get a hair transplant if it comes to it? No such option for universalis.

1) Because an acknowledged condition can be covered under insurance.
2) Because when I look in a mirror and see it all gone I know in my heart its a true condition that is recognized and being worked on legitamately. A cure could be possible, I stated that
3) Regardless what you feel about society, YES you are less likely to be stigmatized for a real condition. Such as under job discrimination etc.
4) Again it would be more appropriate for you to wear systems and again they could be covered. It would be understood as opposed to a man who wears one and is mocked for being a loser.

All in all over myself I would see full blown alopecia as a true disease and feel much more comfortable just accepting it. It would suck but in the end you know there is just nothing you can do and move on. With male pattern baldness you feel this inner fight that using treatments and surgeries will fix your problems. You will spend lots of money that is not covered by medical insurance to just try and make yourself feel a smidge better. The hair transplant's can help but its just that.... help. Even ask Fred. They make you feel better under certain circumstances but unless you are extremely lucky, wealthy and/or have truly minimal loss to repair they are just a bandaid really. Even with them you still have to keep using treatments anyway.
Just how I feel about it. I stated in my post it was just my opinion on how "I" felt.

 

[DoctorHouse]

1) Because an acknowledged condition can be covered under insurance.
2) Because when I look in a mirror and see it all gone I know in my heart its a true condition that is recognized and being worked on legitamately. A cure could be possible, I stated that
3) Regardless what you feel about society, YES you are less likely to be stigmatized for a real condition. Such as under job discrimination etc.
4) Again it would be more appropriate for you to wear systems and again they could be covered. It would be understood as opposed to a man who wears one and is mocked for being a loser.

All in all over myself I would see full blown alopecia as a true disease and feel much more comfortable just accepting it. It would suck but in the end you know there is just nothing you can do and move on. With male pattern baldness you feel this inner fight that using treatments and surgeries will fix your problems. You will spend lots of money that is not covered by medical insurance to just try and make yourself feel a smidge better. The hair transplant's can help but its just that.... help. Even ask Fred. They make you feel better under certain circumstances but unless you are extremely lucky, wealthy and/or have truly minimal loss to repair they are just a bandaid really. Even with them you still have to keep using treatments anyway.
Just how I feel about it. I stated in my post it was just my opinion on how "I" felt.

I can see your point now. At first I was confused myself. Basically, you feel baldness is actually a disease. But actually it just CAUSES mental disease such as low self esteem, anxiety, depression and at times suicidal thoughts.

 

[EvilLocks]

If only I could really see things that way and find the strenght and motivation to change. But it's been 24 years like this (my coherence is admirable), I seriously doubt I can, and I fear it's too late anyway.

You are only 24, it's not too late, unless you decide it is.

 

[Joan]

1)
4) Again it would be more appropriate for you to wear systems and again they could be covered. It would be understood as opposed to a man who wears one and is mocked for being a loser.

I think Samantha actually has Androgenetic Alopecia, not AU or AA. She said she's grateful she's not losing body hair. I think she's including facial hair, but I could be wrong.

I agree that with other alopecias, it's considered appropriate by others to wear hair systems. But how would you feel about having no eyebrows or eyelashes? I'm told that fake eyelashes are uncomfortable, and tattooed eyebrows just don't look right to me. I would imagine stick-on eyebrows would be uncomfortable also. Although I'd probably get some help from insurance with wigs and other things if I had another type of alopecia, and I'd probably get more sympathy from others, I'd rather deal with just Androgenetic Alopecia and pay for wigs myself. I agree with you that Androgenetic Alopecia treatments and wigs should be covered to some degree under insurance for both men and women. I believe wigs are covered for cancer patients under most plans, even though they are not crucial to their survival. Healthy people with Androgenetic Alopecia are just as devastated when they lose their hair, and there is virtually no hope that their hair will grow back. I'm not comparing cancer to Androgenetic Alopecia but just bringing to light that it's of equal importance to everyone's self-esteem to have the best hair possible.