CCS

[CCS]

I agree that confidence matters, and that how you react to your flaws does affect how women percieve you. I just diagree you can completely overcome them. If you are super confident, you can maybe go 1/2 point up the scale for a while. If you are super insecure and show it, you will scare away even the women in your league.

I know I could have gotten further with some women had I played my cards differently. I still don't think it would have lasted though. They hang around you because you are not repelling them and they feel they can leave any time. As soon as they get wind that you really want them to stay around, they might feel smothered and leave, or they might leave anyway when someone better comes along.

I no longer tell women about my insecurities, or mention them. My insecurities just warn me not to be too forward with women, like some hot guys can be.

I think the main thing holding me back from dating average looking women is I want a woman who is attracted to me. That means she wants me even if I don't bribe her with free food. A lot of women feel very intittled to free gifts though, or else they say the guy does not think they are special. For me that is a huge libido killer when the woman does not just want me. I'm just not interested in debating with them or chasing them through hoops when I could be focusing on other aspects of my life right now.

Fact is most guys don't mind spending money because they are not saving up for hair grafts. Most guys throw down $40 to $60 per dinner date on a regular basis, sometimes blowing 4 dinners on a woman who does not even kiss them once. And they keep doing it again and again, and spend money on alcohol, and go to strip clubs. I think it is all one big waste. I'd rather build some muscles, and get good at letting women know I'm interested, testing to see if they are interested, and having cheap fun stuff to do together, and walking away if the woman does not want the same. Just right now I'm surrounded by younger women, and I feel like the honorary old guy at my complex. With my thin hair, I just don't want to go around hitting on the young women and risk getting in trouble. Fact is you can be a very nice person, be very polite, but if a woman does not want to be hit on, she can be very mean and not give warning. Most are not mean, but the few who are ruin it.

I agree with Ali that no time is the perfect time, and we only regret what we don't do.

And I'm annoyed at SAF for implying I just want to go around banging 20 year olds. He just loves taking stuff to far extremes rather than addressing what I actually say.

 

[elvis123]

I'm sorry to say this but CCS you are a f*****g retard...

there are way too many things wrong with you to correct if you are going to have to save and spend so much money on yourself....

here is my advice, save the money, buy a mercedez SLK AMG roadster, buy a nice house, and I will bet you anything you will be pulling high quality chicks in no time, trust me...

actually you know what, buy two mercedez SLK roadsters....

 

[ali777]

I just got back from a friends place.....

There was this very attractive 22yo girl there as well... My friend jokingly said that we should date each other. She split up from her bf, and I don't have a gf at the moment. We started talking, she was asking me if I have a gf, why I split up from my ex, etc...

She asked me about my past, what my education is, what I do for a living, what I think of life, etc. I must have past the "exam", and she gave me a very sweet goodbye look :woot: ....

I'm like WTF has just happened here? I'm not very open to the idea of dating someone almost 10 years younger than me, but you never know :dunno: .

Why am I saying this? Some of the above average women aren't interested in all that crap CCS thinks they need, they are mainly interested in the overall package and not the shell or the depth of the pocket. Sure taking care of the gf comes into it, but at the same time they want to be relatively independent as well.

I don't know if it is a cultural difference, but CCS and us, the UK based guys, seem to have opposing ideas of women. I'm not going to be naive and say that there are no gold diggers, but it feels like we have more "independent" women around here. Or I specifically seek them, and my idea of "attractive" women is skewed towards the strong and independent ones???

I'd rather be with someone below average in the looks department than go out with a shallow girl who has no idea about the world.

 

[Eureka]

Attractive is such a subjective term. One that we have turned into a very narrow minded margin.

A woman can be attractive to me for about 100 different reason. I don't care if she's chubby, if she has the right eyes, or right sense of humor.

Hair can be attractive, smiles can be attractive, legs, asses, etc etc etc.

we base our ideas on what is attractive within such silly parameters.. Which is why the divorce rate is what it is. There's a reason for that. We are doing something wrong.

Obviously double d's and 6 packs are not the keys to happiness.

 

[ali777]

Attractive is such a subjective term. One that we have turned into a very narrow minded margin.

Obviously double d's and 6 packs are not the keys to happiness.

Exactly..... We all have different likes and dislikes.

Statistics show couples that get together based on attraction and love are more likely to get divorced. Most of us in this forum keep repeating that being shallow or seeking a girl based on looks only is not good, yet CCS doesn't listen.

I really wonder what CCS' understanding of hot and average is. Someone 29 should have stumbled across at least one average girl... I find that hard to understand.

 

[ali777]

Whoa! Holy crap, man those are harsh words. Keep in mind that I don't wish to start any arguments here. I just want to say a few comments.

BTW, I am one of those "really ugly guys" It really sucks being one too. Because if being bald isn't bad enough, being "really ugly" is that much worse. Can you imagine how some guys must feel about being ugly? BTW, you don't have to be told you are (even though I actually was told this), but you just know you are ugly when you really are.

TBH, I don't believe you unless I see a picture.

I'm not saying you are lying, but you might be a very normal guy with confidence issues. We don't know.

I've seen a tiny picture of CCS, and his hair looks good. I've seen uncomfortable man as well, I have to say he's rather good looking. UM doesn't realise what he's got is actually good. So, you might be just like them???

 

[Eureka]

Yea hairloss makes people obsessive of their faults.

Pic it up. I doubt you are as un attractive as you state.

 

[ali777]

I don't have good looks at all. Believe it or not, there are websites with faces of ugly people. I'm not making this up. I found them just to see if my picture was on one of them. I didn't send them one, but I thought maybe if my pics were floating around from dating sites that I have tried, someone might have sent them to one of the "ugly people" websites.

I did not see my picture there, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. I look right about par with "ugly folks" on those websites. :woot:

I seen CCS pics. I would say his appearance is about 10 times better than mine. I do look pretty awful I must say. But, I have accepted it. :woot:

1. The fact that your pic hasn't made it to those web sites is a sign that you aren't as ugly as you think you are.

2. I bet you are very normal for your age.

 

[ali777]

Thanks Ali. Since I have accepted it, I do feel better. I think that some women actually like the fact that I try so hard, even though I'm not blessed with good looks. I guess it shows I have something on the inside afterall.

Before getting off on my own tangent again in my previous post, I guess I was kinda trying to make a point by saying that the OP of this thread was being harsh and cocky. After all, we're all here for a reason - and it isn't because we look like Brad Pitt. (most of us anyways)

I do agree that most of us are here for a reason. Even the likes of IWP have insecurities, otherwise they wouldn't be here....

Let's come to the real issues. I happen to believe that when we have something good going on in our lives, we tend to pay less attention to the imperfections. I have to remind CCS, that no one is 100% symmetric or perfect. We can never reach that perfection he aims for. Some might even argue that it is the imperfections that give us personality. Can you imagine a world where everyone is a product of an assembly line? How boring that would be???

We all are insecure for a reason. You and I, had bad relationships. We blamed the other side and failed to get a proper closure, I got mine but it took me 6-7 months, and that is after a year of on and off period. I've realised that I had to be a responsible adult and take responsibility for my own actions. I can't live on blaming her and playing the victim. I don't know how long UM and HP have been playing that victim card, but I've been following this forum for some time and frankly speaking, I haven't got any sympathy left for them.

Forum regulars that have been dealing with hairloss for a long time should stop hiding behind their hairloss and face their real issues. They should identify the real issues and try to reach some level of resolution.

Let's face it, hairloss is tough. It is a constant reminder that we are adults, and that we can never be that playful kid again. Then again, why would we want to be playful kids again? You are 40? Don't you think it's kinda normal for a 40yo to have a degree of balding? Are you really that different from your peers (I don't mean college students, I mean 40yos)?

Hey you said it... Hairloss makes you try harder, and it might mean your next relationship is a long lasting one based on personality and not looks. You should be experienced enough to know that mutual understanding is more important than looks. I don't want to sound like I have very low standards, but I seriously care more about that mutual understanding than looks.

So, we do agree that we aren't Brad Pitts, but that shouldn't stop us from living our lives.

 

[s.a.f]

And I'm annoyed at SAF for implying I just want to go around banging 20 year olds. He just loves taking stuff to far extremes rather than addressing what I actually say.

What?!
You've said it yourself, you dont want an average woman. You want the kind of young girls from your campus.
If I do take examples to extremes its because I'm trying to show you how other people see your views and shock you into normality.

WHo the hell wants to be with an insecure pussy who is worried because his nose isnt as straight at the good looking guy over there?

This is completly true, lets say for example CCS does hook up with a hot chick how long is it going to last? Girls want someone who is going to be fun to be around.

A few scenario's:

Hot chick " Its friday night lets meet some freinds for a few drinks"
CCS " No way I cant drink its a waste of money and it ages you, anyway I have to get some rest tonight because I want to workout tommorrow. If you really loved me you would'nt keep asking me to take you out for meals. "

Hot chick " OK we'll just stay in and get a takeaway"
CCS " No way I've got my abs to think about, I'm just going to have some canned Mackeral and beans"

Hot Chick " I was thinking we should go on vacation together this summer, how about somewhere in Europe"

CCS " No way I cant waste money on holidays, I'm saving up for BHT, if you want a vacation you can come with me to India when I go to get it done. Anyway I dont like to get too much sun it ages your face ".

Hot chick : "This apartment is a mess, it needs refurnishing"

CCS "I'm not wasting money on furnishings when I've still got bodyhair that needs lasering" (CCS then goes into the bathroom for 45mins to perform his secret wig maintenaince).

And finally:

Hot Chick "CCS I'm leaving you, we never have any fun and you wont do anything because you're obbsessed about your looks, infact for the past month I've been seeing the guy next door whenever you were at the gym"

CCS "what!?! he's at least 10lbs overweight and he's a NW2.5, he's only a 7.3, I'm a 7.7"!
Hot Chick " Yeah but at least he knows how to treat a woman"

CCS " You gold digging b**ch I brought you 4 meals it cost me $37!"
"I know the real reason its because of my big pores is'nt it?" "Well you just wait until I get my facial skin lotion, and this time next year I'll have 15 inch biceps and you'll be begging me to take you back."

 

[iwantperfection]

lol..

CCS..You have been on these forums a while now talking about muscle..aren't you jacked yet?

Maybe its time you acted your age.Ali is a similar age and very in tune with who he is.

Not everyone can bang pretty ladies CCS.Its nothing to do with hair necessarily.Just like you want a hottie so do they!

To sum you up.. your'e your own worse enemy.Your a nice guy.Drop the theories, buy a nice outfit and go socialising.BE YOURSELF.

 

[treeshrew]

I think the situation in which you are meeting these girls matters a lot, especially if you are in the "average looking" category.

If you're meeting girls at bars, or at parties, it's often quick and superficial, and without the "good looks" factor it's difficult to make anything happen.

Often times as you get to know someone, see them every week, do things together, attraction will grow, even if you maybe didn't appear super attractive to them upon first meeting.

You should try to meet girls in other situations - join an outing club, a social action group, volunteering, young professional's networks - whatever it might be, something where you see the people more often and develop a relationship over time.

In my experience being able to make a girl laugh is equal with having good lucks - each matters the same in attracting a mate.

Yeah - Colin is correct, social skills do come from practice. The more you interact with people in general the better you get at it. The "Net Generation" spends way too much time in front of facebook and the computer (THIS SITE) - the more time you spend online, the worse your social skills get.

 

[CCS]

I'm sorry to say this but CCS you are a f****ing retard...

there are way too many things wrong with you to correct if you are going to have to save and spend so much money on yourself....

here is my advice, save the money, buy a mercedez SLK AMG roadster, buy a nice house, and I will bet you anything you will be pulling high quality chicks in no time, trust me...

actually you know what, buy two mercedez SLK roadsters....

I disagree. I would help though. But unless I was spending money on them, or they thought they could divorce me soon for half the house and cars, they would not be around long. The money would be better spent on looks.
Women who go for rich guys are in a hurry to get married. They don't just live with the guy as his sexual girlfriend for a few years if he is not dumping money on them. That is, unless he is good looking or she is not.

 

[CCS]

Let's face it, hairloss is tough. It is a constant reminder that we are adults, and that we can never be that playful kid again. Then again, why would we want to be playful kids again? You are 40? Don't you think it's kinda normal for a 40yo to have a degree of balding? Are you really that different from your peers (I don't mean college students, I mean 40yos)?

Hey you said it... Hairloss makes you try harder, and it might mean your next relationship is a long lasting one based on personality and not looks. You should be experienced enough to know that mutual understanding is more important than looks. I don't want to sound like I have very low standards, but I seriously care more about that mutual understanding than looks.

So, we do agree that we aren't Brad Pitts, but that shouldn't stop us from living our lives.

^^This is not helping.

 

[CCS]

And I'm annoyed at SAF for implying I just want to go around banging 20 year olds. He just loves taking stuff to far extremes rather than addressing what I actually say.

What?!
You've said it yourself, you dont want an average woman. You want the kind of young girls from your campus.
If I do take examples to extremes its because I'm trying to show you how other people see your views and shock you into normality.

WHo the hell wants to be with an insecure pussy who is worried because his nose isnt as straight at the good looking guy over there?

This is completly true, lets say for example CCS does hook up with a hot chick how long is it going to last? Girls want someone who is going to be fun to be around.

A few scenario's:

Hot chick " Its friday night lets meet some freinds for a few drinks"
CCS " No way I cant drink its a waste of money and it ages you, anyway I have to get some rest tonight because I want to workout tommorrow. If you really loved me you would'nt keep asking me to take you out for meals. "

Hot chick " OK we'll just stay in and get a takeaway"
CCS " No way I've got my abs to think about, I'm just going to have some canned Mackeral and beans"

Hot Chick " I was thinking we should go on vacation together this summer, how about somewhere in Europe"

CCS " No way I cant waste money on holidays, I'm saving up for BHT, if you want a vacation you can come with me to India when I go to get it done. Anyway I dont like to get too much sun it ages your face ".

Hot chick : "This apartment is a mess, it needs refurnishing"

CCS "I'm not wasting money on furnishings when I've still got bodyhair that needs lasering" (CCS then goes into the bathroom for 45mins to perform his secret wig maintenaince).

And finally:

Hot Chick "CCS I'm leaving you, we never have any fun and you wont do anything because you're obbsessed about your looks, infact for the past month I've been seeing the guy next door whenever you were at the gym"

CCS "what!?! he's at least 10lbs overweight and he's a NW2.5, he's only a 7.3, I'm a 7.7"!
Hot Chick " Yeah but at least he knows how to treat a woman"

CCS " You gold digging b**ch I brought you 4 meals it cost me $37!"
"I know the real reason its because of my big pores is'nt it?" "Well you just wait until I get my facial skin lotion, and this time next year I'll have 15 inch biceps and you'll be begging me to take you back."

life is so much easier for people who are naturally good looking and don't have to work for it and have years to go before they would start showing signs of aging. That is why it is hard for me to date even average looking women. Most of them blow their money on immediate fun stuff, and don't plan to save for anything.

One thing I did learn about dating, from experience, is you need to date someone who sleeps as much as you do, and at the same time you do. This one girl sleep 4 hours per night and needed my attention the rest of the time. I enjoyed giving her attention, but she wore me out in just 48 hours of me not getting sleep. And when I did sleep, she wanted me to cuddle her the whole time, which cut off circulation in my arm. Cuddling was fun, but I was exhausted the next day and happy to go home and see her later.

 

[CCS]

CCS..You have been on these forums a while now talking about muscle..aren't you jacked yet?

Injuries keep setting me back. I'm learning that if I push my muscles as fast as they can go, my tendons can't keep up, so I need to not push so fast. And that 80% of muscle growth is done in the kitchen.

I will get 15 inch arms some day, but I don't think that is completely necessary for getting a girl. Fixing my hair, my face color, and my posture are far more important. That and cleaning out my room, which is a pig sty right now.

 

[Eureka]

What?!
You've said it yourself, you dont want an average woman. You want the kind of young girls from your campus.
If I do take examples to extremes its because I'm trying to show you how other people see your views and shock you into normality.

aahahhahahahahhahahahahha unk:

 

[CCS]

What?!
You've said it yourself, you dont want an average woman. You want the kind of young girls from your campus.
If I do take examples to extremes its because I'm trying to show you how other people see your views and shock you into normality.

aahahhahahahahhahahahahha unk:

We have to post some pictures so we know what we mean by average and good looking. We might be talking about the same thing.

And just because it would be nice to have a hot girl does not mean I would not be happy with an average 25 year old. I just don't want to dump money on a girl who has no intension of ever sleeping with me and just likes to lead me on for favors.

And when I say average, I don't mean the average person in the united states. The US has a ton of obese people. And average person is probably 50 pounds overweight. When I say average, I mean genetically average, but somewhat physically active. I mean people who make a modest effort at fitness, but maybe just don't have it down. That and genetically above average people who don't make any effort and have let their bodies go just a bit.

 

[Eureka]

What?!
You've said it yourself, you dont want an average woman. You want the kind of young girls from your campus.
If I do take examples to extremes its because I'm trying to show you how other people see your views and shock you into normality.

aahahhahahahahhahahahahha unk:

We have to post some pictures so we know what we mean by average and good looking. We might be talking about the same thing.

And just because it would be nice to have a hot girl does not mean I would not be happy with an average 25 year old. I just don't want to dump money on a girl who has no intension of ever sleeping with me and just likes to lead me on for favors.

And when I say average, I don't mean the average person in the united states. The US has a ton of obese people. And average person is probably 50 pounds overweight. When I say average, I mean genetically average, but somewhat physically active. I mean people who make a modest effort at fitness, but maybe just don't have it down. That and genetically above average people who don't make any effort and have let their bodies go just a bit.

You should compare yourself to the people you are surrounded by on a daily basis.

 

[ali777]

One thing I did learn about dating, from experience, is you need to date someone who sleeps as much as you do, and at the same time you do. This one girl sleep 4 hours per night and needed my attention the rest of the time. I enjoyed giving her attention, but she wore me out in just 48 hours of me not getting sleep. And when I did sleep, she wanted me to cuddle her the whole time, which cut off circulation in my arm. Cuddling was fun, but I was exhausted the next day and happy to go home and see her later.

Dude, you really don't have a clue, do you????

That's how all the relationships work. You meet someone, spent a few long nights together, get all the sex positions out of the way, etc..... You aren't supposed to sleep the first few nights anyway. At least that's how it always worked with me. Those first few nights are the best part of a relationship. They make or break a relationship, and that's what you remember for the rest of your life.

Obviously, that girl was up for it, but you were in another planet. It's not that your sleeping patterns were incompatible, she wanted to spend some time with you.

and all the BS about your arm??? Find your comfort zone, it's not as bas as you think it is.

Come back to planet Earth and stop making excuses. You had a girl in your bed and you are complaining that you weren't compatible? You don't know what to expect and how to compromise.

You really have to stop over analysing everything and relax.