Confidence...

[s.a.f]

Exactly there's no disputing it :dunno: if you are bothered by hairloss at all the further it progresses the worse you will feel about it. Its better to have some hair than none at all even if you are just shaving it.
Its like saying its better to be abit ugly than very ugly, given the choice its obvious.

 

[Felk]

Damn straight it's obvious, why are we discussing this?

In response to the original topic, I once heard confidence described as "the memory of past successes" and i think that's a good way to think about it - you build confidence by pursuing something and doing it well. You don't need to have confidence first to do something well, as many people think. It comes after, and aids your progress by reminding you of what you've achieved.

Confidence itself doesn't appear out of nowhere and push you on to achieve things, you need to be pragmatic and give yourself a reason to be confident.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Felk, fuckin A right. I grew up skateboarding, which is fuckin tricky to say the least. But you toil, goin back and forth to practice your tricks and eat a lot of sh*t in the process of unlocking it's secrets. Then you get it after all that effort- then comes the confidence and it pulls you through. It got to the point where I could see that confidence in other skaters and know they were good without ever having to see them skate.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Damn straight it's obvious, why are we discussing this?

In response to the original topic, I once heard confidence described as "the memory of past successes" and i think that's a good way to think about it - you build confidence by pursuing something and doing it well. You don't need to have confidence first to do something well, as many people think. It comes after, and aids your progress by reminding you of what you've achieved.

Confidence itself doesn't appear out of nowhere and push you on to achieve things, you need to be pragmatic and give yourself a reason to be confident.

I'm trying man. But the thing I am best at (talking people into stuff and interviews) is something I can't do now bald. It's completely different animal. No self confidence. People who don't even know I"m bald always tell me I don't look people in the eye anymore when I talk to them. When I do, I start to freak it out because I feel so uncomfortable.

But how do you "give" yourself confidence. You either have it or you don't right? If you could just have it, wouldn't everyone be confident?

 

[Avery]

But how do you "give" yourself confidence. You either have it or you don't right? If you could just have it, wouldn't everyone be confident?

You don't "give" it, you earn it. You build confidence by constantly putting yourself in positions where you know you'll be insecure. When/if it goes badly, you do it again. And again and again, even if after the hundredth time you're still insecure. You have to let yourself be embaressed. Force yourself not to dwell on it by picking up an intensive hobby (one that occupies your mind completely - reading, music, puzzles, thinking stuff is best I've found; exercise is great to blow off steam, but you can quickly fall into a rhythm and you're left with plenty of time to think). Even though it sucks, after the thousandth time of putting yourself in that situation, you'll have built that confidence muscle. Pushing through insecurities is extremely difficult. Once you've built that momentum it eventually becomes easier to forget about enough to live happily. They're one of those things that actively work against you while you try to fix them.

At least that's what I believe.

 

[s.a.f]

Exactly you have to face your fears.

 

[Hans Gruber]

Exactly you have to face your fears.

i learnt this a while back,you have to face your fears or youll just grow old and die,end of.

 

[barcafan]

Rejection/embaressment are among the scariest things for many men.

 

[AnberlinFan84]

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=htt ... =102&ty=88

Bad *** Bald dude at 35

btw his name is Shane Carwin and fights for the UFC and Knocks people out cold

 

[SuprisedGuy]

Rejection/embaressment are among the scariest things for many men.

Many men? How about every member of the species. It's universal, no one enjoys experiencing shame and humiliation which is why people go at such lengths to avoid it.

 

[Ori83]

thats not true, i feel zero embarrassment getting rejected, i have no problem approaching girls on the street, but i cant see the point of doing so if its destined for failure due to things out of my control (baldness that is)

 

[Obsidian]

thats not true, i feel zero embarrassment getting rejected, i have no problem approaching girls on the street, but i cant see the point of doing so if its destined for failure due to things out of my control (baldness that is)

You will fail if you have a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

 

[Ori83]

you have no idea what your talking about.

 

[bigentries]

If you are not afraid of getting rejected then you have it fairly easy in the game.

That's the real reason Neil Strauss and any other ugly PUA gets women.
They can try to sell you every stupid technique to get ladies, but they are only successful because they try it a million times each night.

If I was in a bar hitting on 50 girls in one night. I'm pretty sure I could get at least 5 of them. Of course no one in it's right mind would try it without feeling like a loser after the first rejection

 

[Ori83]

you can get 50 out of 50, question is the quality not the quantity.

 

[kejan]

I've never read The Game or any of that, but My Brother had a friend who used to go round basically, and I mean basically every single Girl in a Nightclub and try his luck. If she didn't fancy him, he'd just move on, and it did work to a certain extent. Yeah, he wasn't fussy about who he went home with sometimes it was 10 tonne Tessie and also he'd get the Stunners as well at times.

He had been with a long-term Partner for years and then she broke up with him.
It would only work in a Big Club though. Although, it does look fairly pathetic seeing someone go up to a Girl and chat for a bit, and then just move 10yards to another Girl, and then on and on til one snogs him.

You certainly need Confidence to do that. If you get up tight about being rejected by Women then it's never going to work, but some people can just shake it off and literally move onto the next one.

I'm nothing like him though. If I was rejected, I took it as a personal thing etc, especially when I was a lot younger, but now being a bit older.. (I've been in a realtionship now for 5years) but you certainly some type of self confidence, hell some might say arrogance to just move from Girl to Girl getting rejected before finding one.

 

[superfrankie]

Rejection/embaressment are among the scariest things for many men.

Many men? How about every member of the species. It's universal, no one enjoys experiencing shame and humiliation which is why people go at such lengths to avoid it.

Every person`s deepest fear is to be rejected and everyone`s deepest need is to be accepted.

 

[SuprisedGuy]

Every person`s deepest fear is to be rejected and everyone`s deepest need is to be accepted.

What part of my post indicated that I don't agree with that? It's a psychological axiom after all. Or was your reply directed at barcafan ?

 

[superfrankie]

Every person`s deepest fear is to be rejected and everyone`s deepest need is to be accepted.

What part of my post indicated that I don't agree with that? It's a psychological axiom after all. Or was your reply directed at barcafan ?

I agreed with you but I just wanted to make it extra clear to people how it works, thats all

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Bad *** Bald dude at 35

btw his name is Shane Carwin and fights for the UFC and Knocks people out cold

Oh how i can destroy that one.

He's not bald, he's balding.....huge difference
he's a MMA guy, where looking "bad-***" is fine.