Did anybody else lose their mind when they started to lose their hair?

[hellouser]

Haha! "Why don't you visit the cancer ward at the hospital?", I've been told this one countless times.

"If it weren't hair loss, it would be something else!" too.

To what I've usually replied: "You've known me for years before hair loss, what was it then?"

"... ... ... Whatever man! You're obsessed, no one cares bla bla..."

And I'm sure people who say this crap think they're all very original and inventive.

So true.

I suppose you could also use the cancer excuse when they lose a job, or get dumped by their partner, or develop a rash, or zit. Hell, why stop there? Why not give this same stupid response to people with multiple sclerosis, or alzheimers, or diabetes?

 

[kmm179]

Cue Bald, you bring up some good points. Before hair loss, I was not a heavy drinker by any means and the only drug I ever did was weed, and that was very rare. After hair loss, I conditioned myself to polishing off an entire pint of Jim Beam (like 9-10 shots) and then go out to a bar or club. (I didn't drive though since I live close to a semi-big city and am also very close to NYC). I also started to get into semi-heavy drugs, something that I NEVER used to do. My own ethics prevented me from doing so in the past, but I figured that if the world and my life situation is far from ethical or fair, then why should I be ethical in such a cruel and unfair world? What I needed was an escape from my dismal and depressing reality, and drugs and heavy drinking offered that escape. I had some good times that I wouldn't have had if I wasn't "under the influence".

People without hair loss are so naive and ignorant of the plight of hair loss sufferers. When I confided in others about how hair loss has devastated my life, I've heard some of the stupidest things from some otherwise-intelligent people. Bulls**t like "if it wasn't this, it would be something else" or "oh, why don't you visit the cancer ward of a hospital". These are people who have full heads of hair, have NEVER shaved their head bald, and only talk in hypotheticals. "Oh, if I lost my hair I'd just shave my head and move on". Yet you've never seen them do it and you will never see them do it. They'll give all kinds of excuses and rationale, but words don't mean s**t and actions mean everything.

The bottom line is that we are all sick and tired of complaining and venting about hair loss, and we want to do something about it. We would spend loads of money and travel abroad for an effective hair restoration option. Unfortunately there just aren't any. (Finasteride gives terrible side effects for many of us and I am not interested in paying substantial money for the wispy, thin, comb-over coverage of an hair transplant). What pisses me off the most is that despite most hair loss sufferers's extreme desire to pay top dollar for a new and effective treatment, the vast majority of the hair restoration community is only committed to preserving the status quo and making obscene amount of hair transplant money. They know how much we suffer, yet all that they are interested in is pushing options that statistically most hair loss sufferer do not even want to deal with in the first place. That's what makes me sicker than anything.

Yeah when I first started shedding I went deep into drugs. I said **** it this relieves my stress. Looking back on it though all the drinking and drugging just made my anxiety worse and made me more paranoid about hairloss. I got off it and realized mine wasn't that bad for 26.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

Ohh..yeah, the good old "cancer ward" advice. I wonder.. when was the last time any of these privileged bastards ever visited a cancer ward?
Next time a smug full head has a whinge about something "acceptable" to whine about. Ya know, girlfriend troubles, car repayments, electricity bills.....etc, I will advise him to visit a cancer ward.

We all hate it, the nonsensical "Thing's could be worse!" cliche type advice. I think all of us here has gotten the "There are worse things like cancer!" lecture from those who are ignorant about how much we hurt from hair loss. Losing hair makes everyday regular problems laughable, I'm sure FredTheBelgian will be able to tell you a lot more about that than I on the topic when those privileged with full hair complain about so called 'problems' they think they have.

 

[nameless]

We all hate it, the nonsensical "Thing's could be worse!" cliche type advice. I think all of us here has gotten the "There are worse things like cancer!" lecture from those who are ignorant about how much we hurt from hair loss. Losing hair makes everyday regular problems laughable, I'm sure FredTheBelgian will be able to tell you a lot more about that than I on the topic when those privileged with full hair complain about so called 'problems' they think they have.

Ok but really, exactly what should the people not dealing with it say? There's nothing they can say that will make us cool with it that we've lost our hair.
Maybe the mistake is ours for bringing it up to other people.

 

[kmm179]

How about being honest and just say it sucks and they would hate it if it ever happen to them?

Some (rare) people have given me a reply along those lines. These were the least hypocritical people I had ever met.

I said that to one if my friends who has been a norwood 6 from early 20s. I think I only said it tho in fear of it happening to me. And hoping i would receive similar treatment if it got bad.

It's weird though none of my friends ever make comments or bully him about it surprisingly. I think all of us feel really bad, but we're all pretty tight.

 

[EvilLocks]

Yes, yes, hair loss made me lose my mind. It threw me in a deep, dark pit with no way out. It has been the most difficult thing that's ever happened to me BY FAR, and I've been through a lot for my age. But, I'm still alive, which I'm very proud of. Going through what I've been through would make most people kill themselves in my opinion. The simple fact that I'm still alive after 3+ years as a young, balding woman shows my strength. And the same goes for many other people on this forum that are struggling with hair loss.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't know if ever talked of the trigger that really started this hair loss nightmare for me. It wasn't my dermatologist's diagnosis.

No, it was three months later when I was pissed drunk at a party, I opened my eyes, and this girl just said: "Fred, you're going bald?!"

After that, I lost it. I told what happened next many times. I left on holiday with them in Turkey a few days later.

I spent that holiday drinking myself to sleep and crying all the time. It had become real, I was indeed going bald. I was 19.

Your story is very sad, Fred. I'm proud of you for making it out alive and being the strong person you are.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I'm ashamed to say now that the only thing that makes me happy are drugs and playing video games.

I have a job but I am showing it harder and harder to fake being happy.

I'm like this too, my drug of choice is scripted TV, and p**rn.
When I'm watching TV, my brain shuts off, and for a few minutes I walk in the shoes of attractive people.

 

[blackg]

I'm like this too, my drug of choice is scripted TV, and p**rn.
When I'm watching TV, my brain shuts off, and for a few minutes I walk in the shoes of attractive people.

I use alcohol to self medicate. Watching TV though can be a challenge, hahaaha. There are just too many reminders of OUR PLACE in the real world while watching television.

 

[debyne]

Man, I'm sorry that baldness has been so devastating to people, but I guess I'm not surprised. I started noticed hair loss in my late 20s and got on finasteride and minoxidil off and on for a few years because of sides and fearmongering online. I saw my hair getting thinner as a result and finally just bit the bullet to go back on finasteride and minoxidil full time and convince myself that any sides were just mental anxiety.

I'm 6'4", athletic, reasonably goodlooking and successful, and always (since my early 20s when I actually got confidence) had great luck with women, so the prospect of losing my hair and losing my attractiveness to women was devastating. I'm now 39 (married with kids) and have maintained most of my hair due to drugs and can style it, so I suppose I'm one of the "lucky" ones. I have definitely had some awesome years while being attractive and young, but I figure I'm going to get old and wrinkly anyway so...the question is, at what age does going thin/bald become "acceptable" by society so that I don't have to stress so much about keeping my hair anymore. It sucks for sure because I've had this attractive outward appearance for so much of my life that losing my hair is less of an issue for me as it is for others and the pity they would have on me..."man, he fell hard"..."he used to be so hot, but now he's bald"...etc. etc.

I definitely haven't lived in many of your shoes, but I get a sense of what you're going through. Keep trying to find a woman (or man, or dog) who loves you for you, and make a life with them so you can worry a bit less about what "the field" will think about your baldness.

 

[brolocholo]

Same

Same here man. I remember losing a ton of hair in the shower, worst feeling.

 

[MickChong]

Man, I'm sorry that baldness has been so devastating to people, but I guess I'm not surprised. I started noticed hair loss in my late 20s and got on finasteride and minoxidil off and on for a few years because of sides and fearmongering online. I saw my hair getting thinner as a result and finally just bit the bullet to go back on finasteride and minoxidil full time and convince myself that any sides were just mental anxiety.

I'm 6'4", athletic, reasonably goodlooking and successful, and always (since my early 20s when I actually got confidence) had great luck with women, so the prospect of losing my hair and losing my attractiveness to women was devastating. I'm now 39 (married with kids) and have maintained most of my hair due to drugs and can style it, so I suppose I'm one of the "lucky" ones. I have definitely had some awesome years while being attractive and young, but I figure I'm going to get old and wrinkly anyway so...the question is, at what age does going thin/bald become "acceptable" by society so that I don't have to stress so much about keeping my hair anymore. It sucks for sure because I've had this attractive outward appearance for so much of my life that losing my hair is less of an issue for me as it is for others and the pity they would have on me..."man, he fell hard"..."he used to be so hot, but now he's bald"...etc. etc.

I definitely haven't lived in many of your shoes, but I get a sense of what you're going through. Keep trying to find a woman (or man, or dog) who loves you for you, and make a life with them so you can worry a bit less about what "the field" will think about your baldness.

A lot of these guys are mostly in their 20's. Hair loss is devastating their confidence to the point where they cannot find a women. They don't feel attractive and they're mentally shot to pieces. Society ridicules them rather than offering genuine sympathy. All I would say to them is try not to give up. They're still young and who knows what the future will hold in store? I truly believe that a man has far more partner opportunities in his 30's as his confidence, wealth, maturity and skills in other aspects of life develop. The tables turn. Furthermore, by that point, hopefully they will have far more options to fix this hair issue. For sure, hair transplants will improve and the next logical stage would be to clone the follicle which would avoid scarring and provide a better end finish. It's in the interest of hair transplant doctors to have this available = more customers.

I wouldn't say to the youngsters on here to forget about hair loss, stop with the site, live your life. By all means keep an eye out for developments, but try to add some memorable experiences to your memory bank while still young. That doesn't have to mean just sex/attracting women etc, it can mean traveling sometimes, seeing new places, learning new skills, developing one's studies. Not easy I know, but we always have hope in the future. Kids are brainwashed these days into thinking life is just about sex/being beautiful/getting women/ etc.

 

[debyne]

I truly believe that a man has far more partner opportunities in his 30's as his confidence, wealth, maturity and skills in other aspects of life develop. The tables turn.

This statement is so true, so it's something for all you 20-somethings to look forward to. My best advice is to kick *** in school and at your job, and build a really good career. I'm telling you...a man who is a good provider will attract women more in his 30s and beyond far more than a full head of hair ever will.

 

[F2005]

This statement is so true, so it's something for all you 20-somethings to look forward to. My best advice is to kick *** in school and at your job, and build a really good career. I'm telling you...a man who is a good provider will attract women more in his 30s and beyond far more than a full head of hair ever will.

But even then, we still take great pride in our outer looks, as well as our partner being physically and sexually attracted to us.

 

[John McClane]

Yes, yes, hair loss made me lose my mind. It threw me in a deep, dark pit with no way out. It has been the most difficult thing that's ever happened to me BY FAR, and I've been through a lot for my age. But, I'm still alive, which I'm very proud of. Going through what I've been through would make most people kill themselves in my opinion. The simple fact that I'm still alive after 3+ years as a young, balding woman shows my strength. And the same goes for many other people on this forum that are struggling with hair loss.

My girlfriend is experiencing the same.
Do you have some advices?
I feel real bad to see how devastated she is and the worst part is I don't know what to do make her feel better.

 

[EvilLocks]

My girlfriend is experiencing the same.
Do you have some advices?
I feel real bad to see how devastated she is and the worst part is I don't know what to do make her feel better.

First of all, sorry to hear about your girlfriend. What kind of alopecia does she have though? Because if she is suffering from Alopecia Areata there is a chance her hair will grow back. Same goes for Telogen Effluvium hair loss (temporary shedding). If she has Androgenetic Alopecia though, I'm not going to lie, she's in for a bumpy ride. If she has Androgenetic Alopecia, my advice is: get on treatments, and I mean proven treatments like minoxidil and spironolactone, not those crappy "natural" treatments, as they are a waste of time. If she goes on treatment, tell her to be patient as it takes a long time to see results. Now in my case those results never came, but that doesn't mean it won't work for her. Her best bet against Androgenetic Alopecia is proven treatments and she needs to get on them ASAP. Don't waste precious time and hair. Besides that, all you can do is be by her side and tell her you love her no matter if she's losing hair or not (that is, if you do). She needs all the support she can get in this crippling battle against hair loss. My ex actually dumped me because I had hair loss, and I can tell you that was very painful. Had he been there for me and made me feel loved, I'm sure the heavy burden of hair loss would have felt a bit lighter. Lastly, if all else fails then there is supplemental hair. I know she probably don't want to hear this as I didn't either, but she could look into wigs/toppers and find something that looks natural and suits her. I don't know what else to tell you, but I hope that your GF's hair loss is temporary and that she will recover. If not, I wish that she has the strength survive the hell that is baldness. If you want to you can always tell your GF to message me here if she wants to talk to another girl going through hair loss.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and I forgot, tell her to look into concealers (for example Toppik) and extensions. They have helped me a lot covering up my hair loss and making me look presentable.

 

[John McClane]

First of all, sorry to hear about your girlfriend. What kind of alopecia does she have though? Because if she is suffering from Alopecia Areata there is a chance her hair will grow back. Same goes for Telogen Effluvium hair loss (temporary shedding). If she has Androgenetic Alopecia though, I'm not going to lie, she's in for a bumpy ride. If she has Androgenetic Alopecia, my advice is: get on treatments, and I mean proven treatments like minoxidil and spironolactone, not those crappy "natural" treatments, as they are a waste of time. If she goes on treatment, tell her to be patient as it takes a long time to see results. Now in my case those results never came, but that doesn't mean it won't work for her. Her best bet against Androgenetic Alopecia is proven treatments and she needs to get on them ASAP. Don't waste precious time and hair. Besides that, all you can do is be by her side and tell her you love her no matter if she's losing hair or not (that is, if you do). She needs all the support she can get in this crippling battle against hair loss. My ex actually dumped me because I had hair loss, and I can tell you that was very painful. Had he been there for me and made me feel loved, I'm sure the heavy burden of hair loss would have felt a bit lighter. Lastly, if all else fails then there is supplemental hair. I know she probably don't want to hear this as I didn't either, but she could look into wigs/toppers and find something that looks natural and suits her. I don't know what else to tell you, but I hope that your GF's hair loss is temporary and that she will recover. If not, I wish that she has the strength survive the hell that is baldness. If you want to you can always tell your GF to message me here if she wants to talk to another girl going through hair loss.

Oh and I forgot, tell her to look into concealers (for example Toppik) and extensions. They have helped me a lot covering up my hair loss and making me look presentable.

We went to two dermatologists, the first one said it is probably telogem effluvium while the second one said it's Androgenetic Alopecia.
We waited a couple of months thinking it was stress related, we din't take it seriously at first because we didn't know hair loss can affect also women.
Now she is using minoxidil since a couple of months and another lotion, hope they will work.

Needless to say, this had a devastating psychological effect on her.
She paused her career because she says she can't work with her hair in this state (she is a model/actress), she doesn't go out any more, she's also not going well with the univeristy, she is always sad and apathetic, the shadow of the girl I knew.

This has enormously affected our relationship. I tried everything to make her feel better but nothing works, I told her that I still love her and that for me she is always beautiful but seems she doesn't care, she gets angry easily and often treats me bad, once she even kicked me out of our house.

Another sore point is sex....we hadn't sex in months now, I tried gently to make her in the mood but after a while she has break downs, she see herself ugly and says she couldn't give me pleasure.
I admit the lack of sex is beginning to be intolerable, I try to hide but she realizes that, she told me she'd understand if I want to sleep with other girls but I don't know, I would feel like I betray her.

I'm so sorry that your boyfriend dumped you for your hair loss, I don't understand how someone can dump the person he loves for something so stupid. For me my girlfriend would be beautiful even completely bald.
Hope you have found a more mature guy and also that your hair are fine now.

Thanks for your advices, I already tried to speak with her about the possibility of a wig but she got mad (she kicked me out of the house), maybe next time she will be more open mind about it.
But I pray god she can resolve this problem and find peace, it breaks my heart to see her in this state.

I whis I had hair loss instead of her.

Sorry for my vent, but I needed to speak about that with someone who could understand.

 

[EvilLocks]

We went to two dermatologists, the first one said it is probably telogem effluvium while the second one said it's Androgenetic Alopecia.
We waited a couple of months thinking it was stress related, we din't take it seriously at first because we didn't know hair loss can affect also women.
Now she is using minoxidil since a couple of months and another lotion, hope they will work.

Needless to say, this had a devastating psychological effect on her.
She paused her career because she says she can't work with her hair in this state (she is a model/actress), she doesn't go out any more, she's also not going well with the univeristy, she is always sad and apathetic, the shadow of the girl I knew.

This has enormously affected our relationship. I tried everything to make her feel better but nothing works, I told her that I still love her and that for me she is always beautiful but seems she doesn't care, she gets angry easily and often treats me bad, once she even kicked me out of our house.

Another sore point is sex....we hadn't sex in months now, I tried gently to make her in the mood but after a while she has break downs, she see herself ugly and says she couldn't give me pleasure.
I admit the lack of sex is beginning to be intolerable, I try to hide but she realizes that, she told me she'd understand if I want to sleep with other girls but I don't know, I would feel like I betray her.

I'm so sorry that your boyfriend dumped you for your hair loss, I don't understand how someone can dump the person he loves for something so stupid. For me my girlfriend would be beautiful even completely bald.
Hope you have found a more mature guy and also that your hair are fine now.

Thanks for your advices, I already tried to speak with her about the possibility of a wig but she got mad (she kicked me out of the house), maybe next time she will be more open mind about it.
But I pray god she can resolve this problem and find peace, it breaks my heart to see her in this state.

I whis I had hair loss instead of her.

Sorry for my vent, but I needed to speak about that with someone who could understand.

The way you describe how your GF feels could have been me. Going through this I pushed everyone I knew away, was constantly sad and angry, cried all the time. I felt (still do) ugly and undesirable, and thought no guy would ever want me again. I also quit uni, had to give up my job and lost a lot of friends because of the depression that hair loss gave me. Now that I'm on antidepressants I feel a bit better, but the burden is still weighing heavy on me. I wish I could tell you some magic advice but there really isn't much one can do about this problem, other than to pray it isn't Androgenetic Alopecia and if it is Androgenetic Alopecia, use treatments. I'm glad to hear your GF is on Minoxidil and I hope it works for her. Although, her hair loss might be the reversible type and her hair will grow back on it's own. You have to understand that Androgenetic Alopecia is rare among women, especially young women, so at least the odds are in her favour.

I can understand how you struggle in the relationship, and how you feel that it's changed. I'm sure she also understands that, and probably feels bad about it. It seems like you really love her and that's good, and I hope your relationship will survive this hair loss nightmare. Again, if it could be of any help I would be happy to talk to her about this. If she wants she can message me. I'm going through exactly the same as her, and have been for over 3 years now. I have felt all the things she's feeling, the anger, the sadness, the desperation, the feeling of being ugly. Or at least FEELING ugly. Just something to think about.

Anyway, I wish you both the best and hope this works out for the both of u!

xoxo

 

[John McClane]

Thank you for your help, I whis the best for you too, I can only imagine how though this thing is for a girl.
I want also to underline what you said about the fact of feeling ugly, because my girlfriend is still super beautiful and I bet you too (if that's your eye you can't be ugly, and I have experience on beautiful girls )

 

[EvilLocks]

Thank you for your help, I whis the best for you too, I can only imagine how though this thing is for a girl.
I want also to underline what you said about the fact of feeling ugly, because my girlfriend is still super beautiful and I bet you too (if that's your eye you can't be ugly, and I have experience on beautiful girls )

Thank you and no, I'm not ugly (besides my hair)

 

[rick39]

re:

I started losing my hair shortly after high school and it greatly traumatized me. I didn't have a normal social life in my 20's because of it.