doubleindemnity problem is not actually his physical appearance

[Caillou]

I'm sorry I posted this, wasn't in the right state of mind

 

[Caillou]

Kind of agree with your general assessment, being an autist is maybe even worse than being bald/balding imo.

Many young guys these days having trouble with being social and are too introverted/anxious.

Being bald can be fixed via a hair system or a transplant

But autism and micropenis are the only death sentences that you can never rectify or deal with

 

[doubleindemnity]

I saw a therapist and they told me that they wouldn't be able to help me with my hair los issues. After we concluded that I don't have BDD, they recommended that I consider a system. I did and then I quit therapy soon after because I thought that I was all done.

The problem is that I can not get dates consistently. I want to go on dates, mess them up and then have an assessment like your assessment here. But I am still not attractive enough. @Oknow is likely a very attractive guy. I don't know how because I don't fully understand attractiveness but barely anybody can use self shot or selfie photos and get a single date.

 

[Oknow]

He used to preach for over 4 years that hair was everything and the only thing that mattered and held him back, etc. He got a hair system with a perfect hairline and he's now at a worse place somehow since he can't even get dates anymore

It's also not his looks, because even though I've not seen his full face, judging from the parts I saw he is no doubt fairly good-looking; good jaw, thick beard, thick neck, in shape, good facial structure. I don't believe that he can be worse looking than @Oknow

It's not his race since @Oknow is Indian and lives in the same place and doesn't struggle with dating. I know and have seen tons of dudes from different ethnicities slaying, so it's not really a dealbreaker if you're good-looking

It's not his height (which he thinks is his new problem nowadays), since he's not even that short and height is basically an online meme and massively overrated anyway. It could be a problem when coupled with sh*t like baldness, but since he has hair now it shouldn't be a death sentence

I personally think @doubleindemnity's problem is that he's not neurotypical at all. He comes off as an above average intelligence aspie who doesn't fit in well and has never had a vibrant social life. How do I know that? Because I'm more or less in the same place myself even though I have some friends. I'm fairly certain that we both are on the spectrum to some extent, but we're both very highly functioning, similar to @KevinEdEddEddy

He also got bullied growing up, which I personally know how scarring and traumatizing it could be since I got bullied growing up as well. That sh*t can mentally f*** you up for life if you don't get the right support, which sadly neither me nor him have gotten when needed

@doubleindemnity so my advice to you is to go and see a therapist. I should do this as well myself at some point since I'm in the same sh*t position as you, but you need it much more than me right now. Trust me I know how important and crucial your physical appearance can be, but your mentality and personality are also as important and crucial as your physical appearance. And thankfully they both can be fixed much easier than fixing your looks


It's not completely over for you yet, but it will be if you don't act now

his issue is inexperience and lack of confidence.

He is not totally comfortable within his skin which is why he is looking at increasing his height now.

Totally agree with getting therapy, I was bullied as a kid and therapy helped me understand some behaviors affecting my social interactions, making me less socially awkward overall and better with women.

the lack of experience with women means he doesn’t know how to romantically build chemistry, how to lead, how to make them feel comfortable, how to escalate.

 

[Caillou]

I saw a therapist and they told me that they wouldn't be able to help me with my hair los issues. After we concluded that I don't have BDD, they recommended that I consider a system. I did and then I quit therapy soon after because I thought that I was all done.

The problem is that I can not get dates consistently. I want to go on dates, mess them up and then have an assessment like your assessment here. But I am still not attractive enough. @Oknow is likely a very attractive guy. I don't know how because I don't fully understand attractiveness but barely anybody can use self shot or selfie photos and get a single date.

I told you before that once you get a decent social circle you will be able to constantly meet new women and hit it off with them until it works, that's what everyone who's not a male model does. You'd not need to swipe like a retard on some shitty app hoping for some wh*** to take pity on you and match. Tinder and other dating apps are for trash w****s looking for young Chads, that's literally it

 

[Caillou]

his issue is inexperience and lack of confidence.

He is not totally comfortable within his skin which is why he is looking at increasing his height now.

Totally agree with getting therapy, I was bullied as a kid and therapy helped me understand some behaviors affecting my social interactions, making me less socially awkward overall and better with women.

the lack of experience with women means he doesn’t know how to romantically build chemistry, how to lead, how to make them feel comfortable, how to escalate.

Why don't you teach him then lol. Give him some tips at least

 

[vondoom]

there is not much to teach...
seems like he overthinks everything, because he doesnt have much experience... only thing you can do is talk to women, or strangers, whatever, until it just comes naturally...
then you dont f*** up any dates anymore, or might even get more because you get in touch with people way more often...

thing is hes also at an age where that all isnt that easy anymore... less single women and lacking experience you usually would have years earlier...
nothing you can do but try, though...

 

[Oknow]

I saw a therapist and they told me that they wouldn't be able to help me with my hair los issues. After we concluded that I don't have BDD, they recommended that I consider a system. I did and then I quit therapy soon after because I thought that I was all done.

The problem is that I can not get dates consistently. I want to go on dates, mess them up and then have an assessment like your assessment here. But I am still not attractive enough. @Oknow is likely a very attractive guy. I don't know how because I don't fully understand attractiveness but barely anybody can use self shot or selfie photos and get a single date.

your photofeeler scores are better than mine

 

[Oknow]

Why don't you teach him then lol. Give him some tips at least

I’ve written a thread covering my thoughts

 

[Oknow]

there is not much to teach...
seems like he overthinks everything, because he doesnt have much experience... only thing you can do is talk to women, or strangers, whatever, until it just comes naturally...
then you dont f*** up any dates anymore, or might even get more because you get in touch with people way more often...

thing is hes also at an age where that all isnt that easy anymore... less single women and lacking experience you usually would have years earlier...
nothing you can do but try, though...

he reminds me of a younger version of me , when I had a NW1

Where the reason why I didn’t get women was because I overthinked and came across as socially awkward

 

[vondoom]

he reminds me of a younger version of me , when I had a NW1

Where the reason why I didn’t get women was because I overthinked and came across as socially awkward

yeah that is of course not helpful...
another two things that arent helpful is talking out of yo ***, when you pretend to know more than you do and trying to make women laugh all the time...
you wont believe how often i notice men doing that and the woman is having none of it...

i used to be awkward with women, stopped when i was 17^^

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

there is not much to teach...
seems like he overthinks everything, because he doesnt have much experience... only thing you can do is talk to women, or strangers, whatever, until it just comes naturally...
then you dont f*** up any dates anymore, or might even get more because you get in touch with people way more often...

thing is hes also at an age where that all isnt that easy anymore... less single women and lacking experience you usually would have years earlier...
nothing you can do but try, though...

Very important point. People skip over this thinking they can retroactively fill a hole in their formative development but it's a fool's errant. The emptiness left by an awkward and lonely youth is nearly impossible to recover from, it leaves a gaping wound that festers throughout the years and poisons you with bitterness. ( I love that Houellebecq quote: You will always be an orphan to the love you never knew. Beautiful)

You have no useful interpersonal skills and no-one left to excersise them with. Everyone exepcts you to fluently speak the language of social cues, small talk and causal flirtations like them, and have little understanding if you don't.

Really if you missed out on all those experiences there's no way to be a "normal" human being in a fundamental sense, sure you can act like one and fine-tune your persona, your act, but deep down something will always be missing. And people intuitively pick up on that. Especially women

The only people that I know that have somewhat escaped that fate live like @Oknow , stuck in endless loop of validation-seeking behaviour, trying to compensate for the past. But no matter how much you try to trick your mind, the past, future and present are fractured and can never balance each other out

 

[Caillou]

Very important point. People skip over this thinking they can retroactively fill a hole in their formative development but it's a fool's errant. The emptiness left by an awkward and lonely youth is nearly impossible to recover from, it leaves a gaping wound that festers throughout the years and poisons you with bitterness. ( I love that Houellebecq quote: You will always be an orphan to the love you never knew. Beautiful)

You have no useful interpersonal skills and no-one left to excersise them with. Everyone exepcts you to fluently speak the language of social cues, small talk and causal flirtations like them, and have little understanding if you don't.

Really if you missed out on all those experiences there's no way to be a "normal" human being in a fundamental sense, sure you can act like one and fine-tune your persona, your act, but deep down something will always be missing. And people intuitively pick up on that. Especially women

The only people that I know that have somewhat escaped that fate live like @Oknow , stuck in endless loop of validation-seeking behaviour, trying to compensate for the past. But no matter how much you try to trick your mind, the past, future and present are fractured and can never balance each other out

You're wise af bruh

 

[vondoom]

Very important point. People skip over this thinking they can retroactively fill a hole in their formative development but it's a fool's errant. The emptiness left by an awkward and lonely youth is nearly impossible to recover from, it leaves a gaping wound that festers throughout the years and poisons you with bitterness. ( I love that Houellebecq quote: You will always be an orphan to the love you never knew. Beautiful)

You have no useful interpersonal skills and no-one left to excersise them with. Everyone exepcts you to fluently speak the language of social cues, small talk and causal flirtations like them, and have little understanding if you don't.

Really if you missed out on all those experiences there's no way to be a "normal" human being in a fundamental sense, sure you can act like one and fine-tune your persona, your act, but deep down something will always be missing. And people intuitively pick up on that. Especially women

The only people that I know that have somewhat escaped that fate live like @Oknow , stuck in endless loop of validation-seeking behaviour, trying to compensate for the past. But no matter how much you try to trick your mind, the past, future and present are fractured and can never balance each other out

good that i am a natural^^

well one thing a lot of men also never develop (maybe most cant, i dont know) is a general sense of who they would even have chances with... saves you a lot of time, money and annoying sh*t...

if you got none of those experineces, better hurry up and get some... doesnt even need to be through dating, but just through being among people and interacting with them...

if you cant do even that, then you got issues... women are not some secret species...
they also dont only like one kind of dude...
might be they just dont like you...
rinse and repeat then...

 

[Caillou]

good that i am a natural^^

well one thing a lot of men also never develop (maybe most cant, i dont know) is a general sense of who they would even have chances with... saves you a lot of time, money and annoying sh*t...

Hitting on fatties and uglies is worse than hitting on above average women actually due to the juggernaut law

 

[vondoom]

mate who hits on fatties? i never hit on anyone who weights more than me and i never will...

you got to know something about character, though... i know that women who are somehow into anything sports and fitness wouldnt date me for example...
the woman trying to be posh and classy? most likely neither...
so why bother trying with those?
but that is something you only find out through interacting and see who interacts with you...
i obviously know what kind of women hit on me and enjoy it when i talk to them... i also know who would just roll their eyes^^

 

[Caillou]

I think this is bullshit. There's nothing such as a group of people who all have the same exact taste when it comes to something. A girl or two into sports might not be into you, but it doesn't mean that every girl into sports wouldn't be into you as well

I see no reason why someone shouldn't hit on any kind of woman if they're ready to do so. Seeing yourself not being worthy of any woman as a man is one of the most cucked sh*t ever. Always see and treat yourself as someone who's above all women

 

[vondoom]

I think this is bullshit. There's nothing such as a group of people who all have the same exact taste when it comes to something. A girl or two into sports might not be into you, but it doesn't mean that every girl into sports wouldn't be into you as well

I see no reason why someone shouldn't hit on any kind of woman if they're ready to do so. Seeing yourself not being worthy of any woman as a man is one of the most cucked sh*t ever. Always see and treat yourself as someone who's above all women

that is called tendency...
well maybe one day you fond out what i mean...

yeah you can hit on anything... just dont be surprised if it doesnt work out...
and that often is just because interests dont align...

 

[Caillou]

that is called tendency...
well maybe one day you fond out what i mean...

yeah you can hit on anything... just dont be surprised if it doesnt work out...
and that often is just because interests dont align...

Well I'm not saying you won't get rejected, I'd say mostly you will. But tbh I'd rather get rejected than pussy out, assuming I get politely rejected of course

If the b**ch gives me sh*t or tries to humiliate me during rejection however, then I'mma smack the sh*t out of her and go to prison

 

[vondoom]

Well I'm not saying you won't get rejected, I'd say mostly you will. But tbh I'd rather get rejected than pussy out, assuming I get politely rejected of course

If the b**ch gives me sh*t or tries to humiliate me during rejection however, then I'mma smack the sh*t out of her and go to prison

im not even talking about pussying out, i just say that with some experience it is way easier to judge beforehand...

if you feel humiliated, that is your own problem...